Recovery A new me.

[SoCal424]

Hi Kate, you wrote:

Dale, if you're reading this...let me know because I know you have methadone experience. I know it's a bitch to get off of, but my clinic assured me they would take me down incredibly slow and it wouldn't be that bad so I'm gonna trust them. Ugh, I hope this works out.

You know, I think in your situation that methadone is the lesser of the evils, but make no mistake it is an evil little son-of-a-bitch once it gets hold of you and you try to stop it. Let me also give you some advice about constipation while you are on methadone - try Miralax (it's available as a generic). It's over-the-counter and it worked better for me than anything else. It worked long term too without increasing the dose. I mixed half a capful with a bottle of gatorade once a day with dinner. When I stopped methadone, I also stopped the laxative - and I really didn't have much of a problem with the runs during those first few really rough weeks of WD's.

Regarding your methadone dose, give it several days to take effect. I wouldn't go up 5mg unless you really need it (only you know that answer). It will be harder to come off it later if you take high doses. 30mg is not high, but it's not low either. As far as very slowly tapering off it - and it not being that bad, then maybe if you cut back 1mg every month or two, then maybe it wouldn't be severe, but you will feel it and you'll likely feel crummy coming off it. Still, like I originally said, it seems it's the lesser of the evils you have to choose from and it can help stabilize you. You won't get the high from it like other opiates. Instead, the more you take, the more you will start sweating. Even when it's cold, you will sweat like it's hot. Generic methadose made me sweat far more than actual methadone, so try to get actual methadone if you can. Either is cheap to get filled.

I want to be really honest with you about something Kate. You are very lucky that your BF is willing to give it another go, and yet you are still hiding things from him. If I were him, I would be in a trust-but-verify frame of mind for a very long time. I'd be watching and listening for clues because I'd feel like I deserve the same honesty that I give you. Now you are on methadone - stay on it and stop the momentary lapses in judgement (relapsing). You love him? - then really love him and be a partner 100%. Your relationship can be positively life changing for both of you - or it can fall apart again and maybe never have another chance. Please think about this seriously and don't let yourself get into situations where you are tempted to relapse. If you start thinking you deserve that high, then think "does your relationship matter more or less to you than the weekend high?"

All said, I hope very much that your life stabilizes and that you find you have a life that means more to you than the binges or weekend highs. I know I sound a bit judgemental, but I'm honestly not. I just want you to have the best life you can.

Your friend,
Dale

 

[Stargazer]

SoCal-

That is really great relationship advice. Also great laspe/relaspe advice.

I have to have urine tests at every Sub appt. This past month I was clean- until a day before my appointment. My husband got dope the day before. .

I couldn't believe it. He thought I said it was ok w me. I asked him " why would that be ok with me?! I worked really hard. I'm trying to change".

So that really hurt me. Emotionally and the sub Dr wasn't impressed either. It hurts when you're SO isn't on your team so to speak.

Sorry for rambling. That's a great photo.Hope everyone is in a good place today.

 

[ladyhlove]

Thank you for the advice, Dale. You are absolutely right and I definitely want life to be worth more than the weekend highs/binges. Honestly, the fact that I was almost kicked out of my program was a huge wake up call to me...I support myself 100% and this is my only option, and I can't afford to fuck it up. I can't afford a long term treatment facility (like a 90+ day one) and I know how my cold turkey attempt have gone in the past. This is something I really want to do and I was so strong in the beginning of this whole process, but lately it seems I've lost steam. Time to regain my focus. And I agree about your relationship advice as well. It's such a natural reaction of mine to lie to my s.o. to try and hide my faults and bad behavior but it's something I need to work on big time. It's not just him, I will always lie to anyone to save face in situations (I'm not a compulsive liar by any means, but will pull out lies to get out of "trouble" or not look shitty/irresponsible for someone who's opinion I value) and, in the end, it's something I'm ashamed of and would like to work on. Just being completely honest, with myself, and everyone else in my life. After reading your response yesterday, Dale, I decided to tell my bf yesterday about my relapse and that being the reason for my switch in treatment meds...I found he wasn't mad, he had actually kind of suspected that was the reason, and he was actually happy that I came clean to him..and on my own, without him backing me into a corner where I could no longer lie. That was something I really didn't do in the past much, come clean to him about negative stuff like that and he encouraged me to continue to tell him everything, no matter how shitty, because he loves me and he'd rather know what was going on with me than have me lie to save face. Ya see, I have this intense fear of abandonment (stemming from a very dramatic event from my childhood where a young, pre-teen Kate spent a whole day, along with her mother, begging her father not to leave her family- a request the father did not agree to...a scene which has repeated itself over and over again in 3 of my past long-term relationships) and I always have a tendency to try and hide my faults because I want to seem responsible, capable, shit, even perfect in the eyes of my significant other. But, I've realized, this behavior does more harm than good. One of the things I've always loved about my current SO was that he always loved me for me...I didn't have to put on this likable persona for him, I could always be myself and he loved me for it...yet, I still have found myself hiding some things from him despite him telling me so many times that he doesn't expect me to be perfect and loves me no matter what. I've really been working on my fear of being alone over the past few months, and I've improved that tremendously, but complete honesty is something I need to shift my focus to right now. Thank you for helping me to realize this. It's a trait that so often goes along with addiction and I want to break the cycle of lies and hiding things.

Hikfromstik, I've tried to reply to you several times, via my phone, but it always ends up deleting the reply when I try to hit send (probably because I always type novels and my phone logs me out bc I take too damn long to hit submit, lol). The clinic is very close to my house, probably about a mile or so and it's a straight shot...it's literally down the street, I only have to make one turn off the street I live on onto the street its on and thats it). I've been going to this same clinic since February for my subs, so I'm used to the routine, already have an established relationship with my counselor and the staff, etc. I actually really like the clinic I go to. I've read about some really shitty clinics around the country and, I've got to say, I think I've got a good one. They seem really focused on their patient's recovery, not just getting money from them. Every staff member knows each patient by name and what's going on in their lives. My counselor, who has worked in several other local clinics, says that ours is the best one he's ever worked at. I really feel like I've found a good place. They understand my concerns about being on methadone for so long and have assured me they will help me get off of it as soon as I'm ready and will make it as painless a process as possible.

I'm currently at 40mg and it seems to be holding me well. 30mg wasn't really cutting it, and 35 didn't really make much of a difference, but 40 this morning seems to be the magic number. It's also been 5 days since I started, so, like you said Dale, I'm sure its also just taken a few days for my body to adjust. The dr. also said that it might take a couple of days to feel the full effects because I probably had a little bit of sub still in me that could potentially be blocking some of the methadone's effects. I feel good today, though. Not GREAT like I'm high, but normal. No wd symptoms, not feeling bad emotionally, and not feeling the need to run out and score after work. I think this is where I'm going to try and stay. I hear a lot of people at the clinic talking about their doses, and most seem to be in the 80+ range...is that common? Like I said, I feel ok at 40 and I feel like I have a decent tolerance, even after being on subs as long as I was. The good new is, however, I haven't touched dope since the 22nd. So I'm a week clean of my doc and feeling ok about it. Not scared, feeling shitty, feeling alright.

Thanks for the support guys. I know this isn't an ideal situation, but it might be what I need to get my life a little more stable and eventually kick all of this shit once and for all.

 

[EPL1]

Good for you lady,

I'm truly happy you have opened up with your man, life is a lot easier too when you have a supportive partner that know what's going on. This will also strengthen your relationship.

Glad you'r feeling ok on your current methadone schedule, 1 week clean is AWESOME and so are you!!!!!

Much love and support lady,
here for you always,
your friend,
Ash.

 

[SoCal424]

Hi Kate-

You know, we all fib at one point or another, sometimes so we don't hurt someone's feelings or to get out of situation, but when it's your S.O. - the truth should always get first priority. Think to yourself: "what would I want him/her to do regarding telling me what was going on if he were in this situation." I think your S.O. will stick with you through thick and thin - for better or worse - as long as you are always honest with him.

"There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin"
Your friend,
Dale

 

[ladyhlove]

You're right, Dale, he will...as long as I'm honest. Honesty is a big deal to him and he's always 100% honest with me about everything and deserves the same back. He's really a great guy and I'm lucky to have someone like him love me so much. Sometimes I don't think that I deserve it. He's the love of my life (I'm 32 and been through many long terms...I can say this with confidence) and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep him happy and in my life. I love him so much and he deserves a healthy, happy relationship and, godamnit, I'm gonna give it to him!

Still at 40mg. I feel fine during the day, but around 6-7 at night, the wds start up a little. Mainly just watery eyes/nose, HUGE pupils, beginnings of a rumbly stomach, and sleeping is an issue if I don't take some of the spare trazadone I have laying around (that stuff is such a godsend...knocks you out and isn't habit forming). I know it takes time to adjust. I spent a good portion of last night doing some hardcore methadone research so I feel like I understand the drug and what to expect a lot better now. That's totally something I do, btw, if I become interested in something or something becomes or may become part of my life, I always try to learn any and EVERY thing about it. So, needless to say, I'm a methadone expert now (lol, jk there's probably a lot i need to experience first hand). I feel a lot better about my decision. I know that it's a beast to get off of, but going slow and low makes it bearable and being on it for awhile should definitely help me stabilize my life, help me to effectively treat my depression, and get to a much better financial place (still struggling from being in active addiction). Apparently my clinic is known for being one of the slowest as far as raising dosage goes...5 mg every other day and everyone starts at 30mg no matter what amount they were previously using. I feel like this probably makes it so a lot of people end up not coming back after intake...I know when I did intake there were 3 other people there who I have never seen since. I think a lot of us think we're gonna go in there and all of our problems will be taken away with one dose of done and we'll be good and the reality isn't like that at all. I'm gonna try to stay at 40mg, but if I'm still feeling like this after a few days, I'm gonna go up a little. I know the higher I go, the harder it will be to come down so I'm trying to keep my dose as low as I can.
'

The boyfriend is starting to spend a lot more time with me now He stayed with me last night and will be spending the whole weekend at my house. We definitely haven't spent this much time together since before our breakup. We live 45 min away from each other so seeing each other daily is tough. Things are great with us, though. We're super in love and happy

Thanks again everyone for your support and love. I hope everyone is having a good week.

 

[aihfl]

Just wanted to drop in and say hello and that I'm happy it sounds like you're doing great.

 

[hikfromstik]

If your having WDs in the evening then I would go up until you don't. Methadone is weird at first . I remember the clinic I went to would start most at 40mg then "blind" dose . They said it was to keep us from going up too fast . After a month I was on 80mg from them upping me to fast. It sounds like clinics have changed quite a bit over the last 20 years. The clinic your at is doing it right . You can now enjoy life without trying to find drugs .

 

[ladyhlove]

Just wanted to drop in and say hello and that I'm happy it sounds like you're doing great.

Thanks, man! How have you been lately? I've been keeping up with your thread as well and wish you the best in trying to get back into a sober routine. I'm definitely not completely there myself, but working on it. I can tell already that the methadone is going to be a lot better for me than the subs and I'm not even to the correct dose yet. I'm also thinking about starting going to meetings. You do refuge, right aihfi? There's one tomorrow night just down the street from me I'm thinking about trying. Anything I should know before going? Do they do a "sponsor" sorta deal like aa/na. I'm an atheist so it's really discouraged me from the 12 steps.

 

[aihfl]

Thanks, man! How have you been lately? I've been keeping up with your thread as well and wish you the best in trying to get back into a sober routine. I'm definitely not completely there myself, but working on it. I can tell already that the methadone is going to be a lot better for me than the subs and I'm not even to the correct dose yet. I'm also thinking about starting going to meetings. You do refuge, right aihfi? There's one tomorrow night just down the street from me I'm thinking about trying. Anything I should know before going? Do they do a "sponsor" sorta deal like aa/na. I'm an atheist so it's really discouraged me from the 12 steps.

You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you want to give Refuge Recovery a try! If I were going to be religious, I think I would choose Buddhism. In fact, I hesitate to even call it a religion; it's more like a philosophy. There are no deities, no afterlife, the ultimate reward is to become nothing. There are two "truth inventories" which are kind of like doing step work that you do with a "mentor" (someone who has been active in RR for 1+ years) but it's a lot looser than a 12 step sponsor/sponsee relationship. I hope you decide to check it out. I didn't know if I would be able to handle the 20 minute guided meditations that open every meeting, but it has become a welcome break from my otherwise chaotic life.

 

[ladyhlove]

Meditation is something I've really been wanting to try. My life is/has been pretty chaotic also and it would be a nice break. I've been thinking about yoga too. One of the counselor's at my done clinic does yoga classes twice a week (that count towards the mandatory 4 group therapy hours required a month by my clinic) and I'm thinking about doing that as well. Also, I really want to start exercising. I suffer from chronic, intense depression and I tend to self medicate in one way or another (opiates, alcohol, whatever) but I always find it's barely noticeable when I'm on a workout kick. I need to get my finances a little better before I can join a gym, though, and it's hot as balls here in GA right now making jogging or something like that unbearable, at least while the suns's up. I think tonight I am going to take my rotty for a nice 2 mile walk to get things started. Also, been taking multivitamins but not noticing much of a difference from those, but I eat like crap so I need some sort of nutrients.

RR meeting is tomorrow night and I'm like 95% sure I'm gonna go. Only thing that would keep me from it is if, for some reason, I had something else planned that I forgot about. Luckily, I'm a very social person and I'm not one to usually shy away from opening up to others, even stranger, which is a gift and a curse.

 

[aihfl]

Yoga is great. Unfortunately my gym is closed for the next 8 months for a major renovation and the next closest one is 8 miles away one way. Living in ATL, you can relate in that 8 miles might as well be on the far side of the moon during certain times of day. I'm always so relaxed by the time the final pose savathana rolls around that I usually end up sawing logs to my embarrassment.

Have you thought about taking a day trip or maybe a weekend trip up to the mountains? I occasionally rent a cabin in Blairsville. There's tons of great hiking in that area and it's a [little] cooler since there's elevation. I could give you recommendations on where to hike. It's pretty fast and easy to get there now since it's 4 lanes all the way via I-575 and Ga. 515 (Zell Miller Mountain Parkway).

 

[Jabberwocky]

Meditation is something I've really been wanting to try. My life is/has been pretty chaotic also and it would be a nice break. I've been thinking about yoga too. One of the counselor's at my done clinic does yoga classes twice a week (that count towards the mandatory 4 group therapy hours required a month by my clinic) and I'm thinking about doing that as well. Also, I really want to start exercising. I suffer from chronic, intense depression and I tend to self medicate in one way or another (opiates, alcohol, whatever) but I always find it's barely noticeable when I'm on a workout kick. I need to get my finances a little better before I can join a gym, though, and it's hot as balls here in GA right now making jogging or something like that unbearable, at least while the suns's up. I think tonight I am going to take my rotty for a nice 2 mile walk to get things started. Also, been taking multivitamins but not noticing much of a difference from those, but I eat like crap so I need some sort of nutrients.

RR meeting is tomorrow night and I'm like 95% sure I'm gonna go. Only thing that would keep me from it is if, for some reason, I had something else planned that I forgot about. Luckily, I'm a very social person and I'm not one to usually shy away from opening up to others, even stranger, which is a gift and a curse.

Click the link in my sig or lemme know if you want some guided meditation suggestions (Tara Brach’s guided meditations are generally a great place to start). Dharmaseed also has a lot of good stuff from many, many teachers.

That is AWESOME they do any yoga at your clinic. One day I want to convince a clinic to let me facilitate mindfulness for their patients. Hell, I’d even do it for free.

Methadone+Mindfulness was the beginning of the end of opioid use disorder/addiction for me. My practice has never been stronger than it was when I was transitioning off methadone, though I’m getting back to that place. Thoughts are the most addictive of all substances anyways...

RR can be hit or miss depending how much experience the person has facilitating the meditation, but it’s great for introductions to (Buddhist) meditation.

 

[Rio Fantastic]

Meditation is something I've really been wanting to try. My life is/has been pretty chaotic also and it would be a nice break. I've been thinking about yoga too. One of the counselor's at my done clinic does yoga classes twice a week (that count towards the mandatory 4 group therapy hours required a month by my clinic) and I'm thinking about doing that as well. Also, I really want to start exercising. I suffer from chronic, intense depression and I tend to self medicate in one way or another (opiates, alcohol, whatever) but I always find it's barely noticeable when I'm on a workout kick. I need to get my finances a little better before I can join a gym, though, and it's hot as balls here in GA right now making jogging or something like that unbearable, at least while the suns's up. I think tonight I am going to take my rotty for a nice 2 mile walk to get things started. Also, been taking multivitamins but not noticing much of a difference from those, but I eat like crap so I need some sort of nutrients.

RR meeting is tomorrow night and I'm like 95% sure I'm gonna go. Only thing that would keep me from it is if, for some reason, I had something else planned that I forgot about. Luckily, I'm a very social person and I'm not one to usually shy away from opening up to others, even stranger, which is a gift and a curse.

Notice how you can't afford a gym but mysteriously the funds are always available when you want to relapse?? You can join a cheap gym for much less than the price of sustaining your old habit for a week. I made these same excuses to put off doing the things that would benefit my recovery that I subconsciously acknowledged would require effort and so my mind would come up with all sorts of procrastinations - e.g. "I can't afford a gym membership", "My mind is just too chaotic to meditate right now", "I'm not emotionally up to the challenge of healthily eating" ad infinitum. Not saying this is definitely you btw, just my experience. You seem to be in a positive place though, keep it up. Real good to see you're still updating this thread.

 

[ladyhlove]

Have you thought about taking a day trip or maybe a weekend trip up to the mountains? I occasionally rent a cabin in Blairsville. There's tons of great hiking in that area and it's a [little] cooler since there's elevation. I could give you recommendations on where to hike. It's pretty fast and easy to get there now since it's 4 lanes all the way via I-575 and Ga. 515 (Zell Miller Mountain Parkway).

I actually LOVE to hike, aihfl, and I try to as much as I can! I've done the entire GA and NC portions of the Appalachian Trail and have spent a lot of time hiking not just in the south, but out in Colorado, and quite a bit when I lived out in the Pacific Northwest for a few years. One would consider me quite outdoorsy. Honestly, I hate hiking alone...I've done it and did it quite a bit when I lived in WA State but after hearing about the murder of that girl on Blood Mountain about a decade ago here in GA (and she even had her dog with her!), I've been too scared. I definitely try anytime I can get someone to go with me. It's hard to get people into it during the brutally hot/humid summer months, but it should start to be a bit easier in Sep. Oct. The boyfriend is literally the laziest man alive when it comes to hiking/exercising (he's slightly overweight and pre-diabetic....I get onto him about it all the time) and he hates it, but fortunately I have a decent amount of friends who like to go on hiking trips. I need to do one soon for sure, it's been a few months. Weekends tend to be relapsing time so keeping them busy is key. I read a post by you on someone else's thread that stated that boredom/idleness is sobriety's biggest enemy..you couldn't be more right about that. That's always when I relapse, when I'm bored, alone, at home. You'd think I'd love the fact that I don't have to spend an extra hour-two hours every day after work going from the burbs I work in to the hood to buy dope and then back to the nicer inner city neighborhood I live on the north/east side of the city, but I get home so early from work now I don't know what to do with myself sometimes, lol. I got the internet back after 2 years without it (because A. I was at my bfs so much and he had internet I thought it silly to pay for something i rarely ever used and B. I was a junkie who wanted to spent that money on drugs...B. is probably the main reason, lol) and have been enjoying coming home and vegging out, maybe smoking a bowl, and catching up on the shows i've missed on netflix over the past couple years. TV isn't the healthiest habit, but it gives me something to do for now. Still been feeling meh in the evenings from my methadone dose not being quite high enough so it's all I really have energy for right now anyways. I did give the dog a mile walk yesterday that was supposed to be longer, but rain interrupted us. Baby steps but I'm gonna try to make it a regular thing.

Rio, I can always count on your realness and I dig that about you You're absolutely right, but I get paid monthly and because I spent anything extra this month right after payday on relapsing, i'm SOL for anything extra till next payday. But that's not too far off. Might go check out some gyms here this week and take advantage of the trial week-2 weeks some offer. Also, it's always free to get outside and walk/run with my dog..and he's a 5 year old 125 lb rottweiler, he needs it! I am in a positive place right now.

Went up to 45mg this morning and today is probably the best I've felt since starting methadone. I suffer from IBS, which opiates completely "cured" and it's been affecting me, particularly at night/in the morning before the clinic along with some other minor wd symptoms and just generally "meh" feelings once I get off work. i know my dose needs to go up. It's been tempting to not supplement with dope at night but I know it's just going to delay me adjusting to the methadone and I'm tired of this cycle. Ready to just be stable on my maintenance meds and that's it. Being kinda broke has helped too...but I still do have money which was usually enough motivation in the past, so I know that being broke isn't the only reason I've been abstaining from anything else. Going to try RR tonight. I'm assuming I shouldn't mention that I'm on methadone? I know AA/NA groups tend to look down on that sort of thing, also people who still use other substances (I still smoke weed and drink very moderately sometimes). Maybe I'm wrong, and they'll be cool, but I don't want to risk it. I wish they had groups that geared more towards harm reduction vs abstinence..such a thing doesn't exist does it?

All else is well...some stuff at work went down and my boss got demoted (nice guy, but an idiot who drove me crazy so I"m not too u;set). The head of the company used me being a "free agent" as an excuse to nab me up and be his head personal secretary, on top of my other job roles (legal stuff, customer service manager, etc...small company so I wear many hats and being one of the only Americans here I'm needed in a lot of places bc of my English language skills). It'll be even more work for the same pay (I'm gonna work on that part, though), but it's flattering that the head of the company thinks im doing such a good job he wants me to handle his very important matters. Things with the boyfriend are great too. We're not fully ramping up to where we were before we broke up (seeing each other every day, attached at the hip), we're still giving each other a bit of space but definitely spending more time together and discussing our future again.

Things are good. I hope they stay that way for awhile

 

[aihfl]

I watched a documentary years ago about Gary Hilton, the serial killer who murdered that woman on Blood Mountain. Just looking at him gave me the wim wams. Apparently a Murphy bed fell on his head as a child and left him with a serious brain injury. He was sentenced to death for a Florida murder that took place in the Apalachicola National Forest near Tallahassee, but he plead out in the Georgia case in exchange for the death penalty to be taken off the table. I also have a friend who had a chilling encounter with Eric Rudolph, who bombed the 1996 Olympics and abortion clinics and gay bars across the south, on a remote section of the AT in Georgia before he was caught. So yeah, I'd even be hard pressed to solo hike on some of the more remote trails in that area. Anyway, Blairsville is downright civilized these days. My dad was a native Georgian and we went camping and hiking in that area when I was a kid and it was straight out of Deliverance. It was still like that when I started going back there as an adult about 20 years ago, but now, there's a coffee shop serving Illy coffee and you can even get sushi at Ingles. And there are even some decent wineries in that area now.

 

[ladyhlove]

I watched a documentary years ago about Gary Hilton, the serial killer who murdered that woman on Blood Mountain. Just looking at him gave me the wim wams. Apparently a Murphy bed fell on his head as a child and left him with a serious brain injury. He was sentenced to death for a Florida murder that took place in the Apalachicola National Forest near Tallahassee, but he plead out in the Georgia case in exchange for the death penalty to be taken off the table. I also have a friend who had a chilling encounter with Eric Rudolph, who bombed the 1996 Olympics and abortion clinics and gay bars across the south, on a remote section of the AT in Georgia before he was caught. So yeah, I'd even be hard pressed to solo hike on some of the more remote trails in that area. Anyway, Blairsville is downright civilized these days. My dad was a native Georgian and we went camping and hiking in that area when I was a kid and it was straight out of Deliverance. It was still like that when I started going back there as an adult about 20 years ago, but now, there's a coffee shop serving Illy coffee and you can even get sushi at Ingles. And there are even some decent wineries in that area now.

Yeah, I'm VERY familiar with ERR...I've lived in Atlanta my whole life (minus 2-3 years I spent out in Northwest Washington State in my mid 20's) and am in my 30's so all that was going on when I was a kid/pre-teen. I actually saw my very first concert (Carlos Santana!) at Centennial Park the night before the bombing when I was 10. Good thing we didn't go the next night! Honestly, we've had murders/attacks even on very popular trails near highly populated areas here in GA (look up Silver Comet Trail murder) so I'm apprehensive about doing any of that alone. I still can't believe I used to hike alone in WA state, but I didn't know anyone in the area except my bf who worked all the time and the area was just too beautiful to not check out. But WA state, and the town I lived in, Bellingham, WA in particular, is known for its weirdos. We had a bar intown called the Waterfront that had been there for like 60+ years and was a notorious serial killer bar...Gary Ridgeway (aka the Green River Killer) used to be a regular, as did Ted Bundy when he spent a summer up there for a summer school program (western washington, a large college, is in the town), and also the DC Sniper (before he converted to Islam and went all cray cray). It was a real shit hole bar, but I loved it because I love dark shit like that. But not enough to make myself a victim. I also watch too much Investigative Discovery...

Florida is full of some oddballs too, that's for sure.

 

[aihfl]

Florida is full of some oddballs too, that's for sure.

Bundy's trial for the Kimberly Leach murder was moved to Orlando. The old courthouse is now the Orange Co. History Museum and you can see where he scratched his name into the side of the defense table. Creepy. Anyway, if you're so inclined, I started a "News of the Weird" thread in CE&P if you're inclined to take a look. A humorous look at odd, yet comical mostly Florida stories.

 

[ladyhlove]

Also...what would a good recovery journal update be without talking about my bowel movements? Lol

Not experiencing any constipation actually..I'm actually going normally and then having my ibs symptoms creep up as the dose wears off at night/in the am before dosing. I'm sure as my dose gets higher, it may become an issue. Honestly opiates help my ibs so much..unlike most ppl who get stopped up on them, opiates usually were the only thing keeping me having normal, solid (bit liquid) poops.

 

[ladyhlove]

*not instead of bit