Recovery A new me.

[EPL1]

Hahaha,

Glad you're not only doing an awesome job on your quit but that you're also rocking it in the TMI dept too!!! Lol!!

Keep on doing what you're doing gorgeous and NEVER look back.

love and support to you,
your friend,
Ash.

Also...what would a good recovery journal update be without talking about my bowel movements? Lol

Not experiencing any constipation actually..I'm actually going normally and then having my ibs symptoms creep up as the dose wears off at night/in the am before dosing. I'm sure as my dose gets higher, it may become an issue. Honestly opiates help my ibs so much..unlike most ppl who get stopped up on them, opiates usually were the only thing keeping me having normal, solid (bit liquid) poops.

 

[hikfromstik]

Glad to hear that your doing good . I pooped goat pellets for 10 years on mmt ,lol.

 

[ladyhlove]

Ash, poop talk among us opiate addicts is one of the few joys we have

I have ibs as well so I talk a lot about my BMs in general. My bf has heard way too much..I hold nothing back but luckily he doesn't give af

 

[ladyhlove]

Hey hey BL!

I am at 9 whole days of being dope free and I can say, without a doubt, that this is the best I've felt in quite a while! Still at 45mg methadone, but the wd symptoms are being taken care of for the most part. I felt pretty good yesterday till the afternoon, like usual, but I didn't feel quiiiiite as bad yesterday night/early this am as I have in previous day, so I'm making progress. I know I'm not quite to the right dose, but I'm getting close. Using dope on top of the methadone to get myself fully well at night is so tempting, but I've been good. I have not a whole lot of money in my bank account right now and my roommate paid his rent and me back almost a grand for money he borrowed from me last month via paypal...so his money is sitting in paypal, not transferred to my account yet. It takes one business day for it to transfer and I've just kind of been letting it sit until I absolutely need it. I always tend to make excuses to relapse when I have a lot of extra money.

I missed refuge recovery last night due to the fact that it took me 2 hours (vs my usual 1 hour) to get home last night from work due to a huge rain storm and lots and lots of wrecks on the already normally congested atlanta roadways. By the time I got home, I just wanted to veg out and get cozy due to the rain still pouring outside. Also, my wd symptoms, as I mentioned above, keep coming back in the evenings so I didn't feel too hot. I'm hoping next week I'll be more stable and feel like going. When I started subs, it was a lot like this too. I was well enough to work, but it was all I had energy for and went home alone every night and took it easy. After a week, last time, i felt better and cabin fever took over and I started doing more so I assume that'll happen again this time. I'm fortunate I'm naturally an extroverted person...going out and doing stuff with people comes naturally to me.

aihfl, I have a few q's about RR..I should probably message you, but I feel like they'd be beneficial to folks reading this thread as well. What are meetings like? Is it similar to aa/na, where people go around the room and talk about their problems? or is it different? Should i get there early and meet the group leader? Should I bring anything? Is it rude to not donate money? Anything weird I should know? I like to know as much as I can about something before I do it. I like being informed.

Hope everyone else is well and killing their recovery today! I feel like today I am! (for today anyways, but I'll take it!)

 

[Rio Fantastic]

Hey hey BL!

I am at 9 whole days of being dope free and I can say, without a doubt, that this is the best I've felt in quite a while! Still at 45mg methadone, but the wd symptoms are being taken care of for the most part. I felt pretty good yesterday till the afternoon, like usual, but I didn't feel quiiiiite as bad yesterday night/early this am as I have in previous day, so I'm making progress. I know I'm not quite to the right dose, but I'm getting close. Using dope on top of the methadone to get myself fully well at night is so tempting, but I've been good. I have not a whole lot of money in my bank account right now and my roommate paid his rent and me back almost a grand for money he borrowed from me last month via paypal...so his money is sitting in paypal, not transferred to my account yet. It takes one business day for it to transfer and I've just kind of been letting it sit until I absolutely need it. I always tend to make excuses to relapse when I have a lot of extra money.

I missed refuge recovery last night due to the fact that it took me 2 hours (vs my usual 1 hour) to get home last night from work due to a huge rain storm and lots and lots of wrecks on the already normally congested atlanta roadways. By the time I got home, I just wanted to veg out and get cozy due to the rain still pouring outside. Also, my wd symptoms, as I mentioned above, keep coming back in the evenings so I didn't feel too hot. I'm hoping next week I'll be more stable and feel like going. When I started subs, it was a lot like this too. I was well enough to work, but it was all I had energy for and went home alone every night and took it easy. After a week, last time, i felt better and cabin fever took over and I started doing more so I assume that'll happen again this time. I'm fortunate I'm naturally an extroverted person...going out and doing stuff with people comes naturally to me.

aihfl, I have a few q's about RR..I should probably message you, but I feel like they'd be beneficial to folks reading this thread as well. What are meetings like? Is it similar to aa/na, where people go around the room and talk about their problems? or is it different? Should i get there early and meet the group leader? Should I bring anything? Is it rude to not donate money? Anything weird I should know? I like to know as much as I can about something before I do it. I like being informed.

Hope everyone else is well and killing their recovery today! I feel like today I am! (for today anyways, but I'll take it!)

You're doing awesome. Note the minute you even consider allowing yourself dope on top of methadone to feel better, the second that becomes an acceptable excuse in your mind, you will probably find your subconscious manufacturing/exaggerating withdrawals to justify running back to dope. You're making so much progress, don't throw it all away. Also, how is it that despite us both relapsing you always end up a few days ahead of me in clean time!?!? Haha

 

[ladyhlove]

Thanks Rio! And thank you for always being there to call me on my shit! Congrats on being close behind (once again!). I actually did allow myself to consider it, and it seemed like a good idea and all, but I figured that it would just delay adjusting to the methadone and it was time to just end this shit. I'm glad I made that decision. Logic...I still have some despite this addiction that turned me into an idiot, lol

Yeah, I think today might be the first 100% day I've had since beginning methadone. I felt very low grade wd symptoms all day for the first 3 days, 2 days of feeling ok for the first couple hours after dosing, then the low grade wd symptoms returning in the mid-afternoon, then 2 days of feeling normal most of the day with a couple minor wd symptoms creeping in around evening, yesterday was normal all day until around bedtime then the minor wd symptoms (mainly stomach issues) returned, today i've felt better than normal, I've felt great. And not great like I'm all high and shit, like I feel clear headed and positive and motivated. I had always feared, from things I've read on the internet of coure (I mean, where else would I get crazy very unlikely to happen things to worry about?!), that methadone would make me tired...a nodding out zombie. I've heard a lot of people say it didn't make them feel anything but tired and hungry and they just slept and ate until they relapsed on dope. Maybe higher doses bring that sort of behavior. Idk, opiates always gave me a sort of energy anyways, vs nodding out (but believe me, I had plenty of nod times..especially in the evenings) so maybe this is just how my body reacts to methadone. Anyways, just wanted to check in since the day has gone by some. I find that how I feel in the am is not always how I continue to feel throughout the day. I'm hoping I keep feeling good, hopefully at least feeling normal tonight. If today continues to be a good one, even though I can go up to 50mg tomorrow, I may stay at 45.

Question for hik, TPD, Dale (SoCal) or any other current/former methadone users: Is methadone something you build a tolerance to like other opes? Like, 45 seems good for me..but in a week will I be getting a little sick off of it? Seems like it would, since that's how opiates work, but I never seemed to get much of a tolerance from subs when I was on them. My sub dose kept wds at bay effecitively when 2 months in as it did when I first stabilized.

 

[Rio Fantastic]

Thanks Rio! And thank you for always being there to call me on my shit! Congrats on being close behind (once again!). I actually did allow myself to consider it, and it seemed like a good idea and all, but I figured that it would just delay adjusting to the methadone and it was time to just end this shit. I'm glad I made that decision. Logic...I still have some despite this addiction that turned me into an idiot, lol

Yeah, I think today might be the first 100% day I've had since beginning methadone. I felt very low grade wd symptoms all day for the first 3 days, 2 days of feeling ok for the first couple hours after dosing, then the low grade wd symptoms returning in the mid-afternoon, then 2 days of feeling normal most of the day with a couple minor wd symptoms creeping in around evening, yesterday was normal all day until around bedtime then the minor wd symptoms (mainly stomach issues) returned, today i've felt better than normal, I've felt great. And not great like I'm all high and shit, like I feel clear headed and positive and motivated. I had always feared, from things I've read on the internet of coure (I mean, where else would I get crazy very unlikely to happen things to worry about?!), that methadone would make me tired...a nodding out zombie. I've heard a lot of people say it didn't make them feel anything but tired and hungry and they just slept and ate until they relapsed on dope. Maybe higher doses bring that sort of behavior. Idk, opiates always gave me a sort of energy anyways, vs nodding out (but believe me, I had plenty of nod times..especially in the evenings) so maybe this is just how my body reacts to methadone. Anyways, just wanted to check in since the day has gone by some. I find that how I feel in the am is not always how I continue to feel throughout the day. I'm hoping I keep feeling good, hopefully at least feeling normal tonight. If today continues to be a good one, even though I can go up to 50mg tomorrow, I may stay at 45.

Question for hik, TPD, Dale (SoCal) or any other current/former methadone users: Is methadone something you build a tolerance to like other opes? Like, 45 seems good for me..but in a week will I be getting a little sick off of it? Seems like it would, since that's how opiates work, but I never seemed to get much of a tolerance from subs when I was on them. My sub dose kept wds at bay effecitively when 2 months in as it did when I first stabilized.

Hahaha, the only reason I can call you on it is because I've convinced myself with the same bullshit time and time again, and it's far easier to see it and raise it in others then it is to address it in myself! There comes a time when we have to either stop listening to our own bullshit excuses or resign ourselves to addiction. Successful recovery is 90% just learning to say "No" to yourself, IMO.

Crazy how the mildest of withdrawal symptoms can become so exaggerated in our minds. I remember seriously considering relapse for the mildest of subutex withdrawal after jumping off at 0.4mg - I've gotten through heroin cold turkey before, but the mild restlessness of subutex withdrawal nearly made me throw everything away. Discomfort is inevitable, but it's also inevitable that it will pass.

Regarding methadone, if you feel 100% then I'd highly recommend staying at the dose your on. Tolerance is caused by higher doses. This doesn't seem intuitive, but it's been proven many times that if we stayed at the exact same dose of a substance, our tolerance wouldn't rise. The moment we go even a fraction above looking for a better high, that's the point at which our tolerance will increase. If you're stable on 45mg, then you will definitely not suddenly find that it will randomly become inadequate and cause withdrawals in a couple of weeks, that's just your anxiety talking. You can relax A LITTLE! You seem to have powered through the physical, and though methadone won't keep 100% of the mental withdrawals at bay (you may find a little depression/anxiety or whatever, but that's normal), you have now managed to regain stability, and the only way you can jeopardize it now is if you take heroin - so stay strong!

 

[ladyhlove]

I, too, am great at giving advice but terrible at taking it myself. Meh.

YES I have had some of the worst wds known to man but I would relapse on subs from the most minor of runny noses. I'd tell myself..oh I just need another day on dope and I'll be fine...the subs will block most of it anyways and I'll be inducting even if I use a little. From just a fucking runny nose. So dumb. I've come too far at this point to go back. I just keep reminding myself it's not worth it. I'll get high af for a few days and then itll go back to where the dope doesn't do anything for me but make me feel normal...which is how i feel right now anyways so why would 2-3 days of euphoria be worth having to go through this shit again?

Another thing keeping me straight is the fact that my clinic is going to UA me anytime soon (prob after the weekend) and I'm on thin ice as it is. I need to piss clean (well cleanish..i always piss dirty for THC but that's not something they even say anything about..you just can't "phase up" and get additional take homes. I love pot so its an ok trade off for me for now, I'm sure I'll get tired of having to come in everyday eventually and stop smoking..Ive successfully quit weed when I've had to for a job in the past I know I can do it again). I think if I test for opes again in the near future, Ill be out on my ass and, like i said earlier in this thread, this is my last shot before something more major, like jail or a crazy intense out of state rehab will have to be involved. Also, just finally starting to get the beau back into my life in a romantic sense so I need to keep straight. And for me, of course...I can't keep doing this. I've fucked up, I've learned all my relapse lessons, time to be dope free for good again now.

 

[ladyhlove]

Day 10 dope free guys!! Each day is getting easier and easier. Every little relapse thought is getting easier to push out of my head.

Yesterday was the first day I experienced NO wd symptoms whatsoever. After dosing and my 45mg kicking in, I felt good. After getting a cup of coffee or two in me and lunch, I felt absolutely great. Not a high kind of great, more of a positive energy sort of feeling. That lasted most of the day until the evening when I went back to feeling normal. I fell asleep pretty early last night, 9:30..woke up for an hour or so when the roomie got home, smoked a bowl, laid back down around midnight.. and slept more soundly than I have in a long time. I woke up at 7am on the dot, naturally (I set my alarm for 730) with some minor wd symptoms..sweaty, large pupils, stomach pain. So, since today was my day to go up in dosage, I decided to go to 50mg since I'm still waking up sick, my nurse said I should be waking up feeling normal if I'm on the correct dose. So...I took the dose around 7:15 this morning and went home and laid back down for a little bit because my stomach was still killing me, and if I lay in a certain position it isn't as bad. Once the dose kicked in, my stomach issues and cold sweats went away and I felt great again..like I said, not a high feeling by any means, just ready to take on the day. I've always been a bit of a morning person, especially before opiate addiction had me waking up in wds almost every morning...I've always felt this kind of natural body high of energy in the mornings, I always get much more accomplished in the am than after lunch...it's nice to have that feeling back again. My clinic's rules state that once I get to 50mg, I have to stay on it for 5 days (vs being able to go up 5mg every other day like i have been) and then, if I want to go higher, I have to talk to the clinic Dr. about it. I think 50 may be my magic number, though, because 45mg was very close and each day is getting better. I know methadone won't get me high, so Im not trying to go up to get to that..I'm just trying to feel consistently normal, not sick, and I'm getting close, if I haven't already gotten there with today's dose.

Work's been kicking my ass. I'll update more on my lunch break..boss man is on my ass today. I'm being overworked like a mf lately ugh.

 

[hikfromstik]

Ladyh , sounds like your at a good clinic. They sound very concerned with there patients. If your still hurting then don't be afraid to go up a bit more . Stability is the key at your stage . You can wean down later.

 

[Rio Fantastic]

Great job ladyh! I'm in a very similar position to you - day 7 on subs and starting to have hours of that natural energy feeling, such a contrast to the artificial chemical content feeling heroin gives you, and it's great to actually start achieving things again. How is weed treating you at the moment??

 

[ladyhlove]

Great job ladyh! I'm in a very similar position to you - day 7 on subs and starting to have hours of that natural energy feeling, such a contrast to the artificial chemical content feeling heroin gives you, and it's great to actually start achieving things again. How is weed treating you at the moment??

I love the first few days back on maintenance feeling. Though, I start getting stressed about things I neglected during my relapse. A couple of traffic tickets that will be putting my license on suspension if I don't pay soon is my worry right now among other things (like car insurance going up bc of them..). I'll get everything handled though. I just gotta remember...getting high doesn't make these problems go away, it just makes me forget about them and makes the problems WORSE because I use money I should be saving to fix these problems on dope. Still doing well today, work is kicking my ass..happy it's the weekend but they just gave me a work laptop. It's nice bc my home laptop is like a decade old and sucks but I think I'm gonna be expected to work from home some. Oy

 

[EPL1]

Wow, awesome job on your quit lady!!! Keep up the great work and be kind and patient with yourself!! Have a fantastic weekend!!Hugs,Ash.

 

[Rio Fantastic]

I love the first few days back on maintenance feeling. Though, I start getting stressed about things I neglected during my relapse. A couple of traffic tickets that will be putting my license on suspension if I don't pay soon is my worry right now among other things (like car insurance going up bc of them..). I'll get everything handled though. I just gotta remember...getting high doesn't make these problems go away, it just makes me forget about them and makes the problems WORSE because I use money I should be saving to fix these problems on dope. Still doing well today, work is kicking my ass..happy it's the weekend but they just gave me a work laptop. It's nice bc my home laptop is like a decade old and sucks but I think I'm gonna be expected to work from home some. Oy

Exactly! We have to be really careful with stress, shame, regret etc because our twisted thinking can mean that regretting all the time we wasted high can lead us right back to doing the same thing! It's best to stay mindful and try and catch your negative thinking as it occurs before it consumes us. What does weed do for you at the moment??

 

[Jabberwocky]

FWIW ladyh, a lot of people do well at around 45mg. A lot of people do well at 80mg too though.

There is no shame in raising your dose if it's necessary. It just means you'll need to devote a bit more time to tapering down the road if/when you decide you want to move on (totally up to you, no one else).

Everyone needs a dose that works for them. If that's 45mg, good. If that's 80mg, also good. Whatever works for your body.

There are pros and cons to staying a low doses or going to higher doses, but you already know that if you've been using for any length of time.

The priority right needs to be kept simple: stability. After all, you've started treatment relatively recently, so you're still relatively early in the stabilizing phase.

Do whatever you need to do to get some stability in your life so you can get your everyday life back in order and work on the things underlying your experience of opioid use "disorder." If that means a higher dose or staying where you're at, doesn't make a difference. Stability is the most important thing right now.

 

[Rio Fantastic]

FWIW ladyh, a lot of people do well at around 45mg. A lot of people do well at 80mg too though.

There is no shame in raising your dose if it's necessary. It just means you'll need to devote a bit more time to tapering down the road if/when you decide you want to move on (totally up to you, no one else).

Everyone needs a dose that works for them. If that's 45mg, good. If that's 80mg, also good. Whatever works for your body.

There are pros and cons to staying a low doses or going to higher doses, but you already know that if you've been using for any length of time.

The priority right needs to be kept simple: stability. After all, you've started treatment relatively recently, so you're still relatively early in the stabilizing phase.

Do whatever you need to do to get some stability in your life so you can get your everyday life back in order and work on the things underlying your experience of opioid use "disorder." If that means a higher dose or staying where you're at, doesn't make a difference. Stability is the most important thing right now.

You are really pushing for her to increase her methadone, but if she feels OK and normal on the dose she's on, why would she go up? It will just make the eventual long term goal of being opiate free further away and more difficult to achieve.

 

[Jabberwocky]

No, I’m not pushing for her to do anything with her methadone. If anything, I’m pushing her to take her time figuring things out what’ll work for her.

I guess I’m also pushing the emphasis on stabilization over staying at some artificially perfect dosage. It wouldn’t be very wise to argue against stabilization... considering that’s a very important goal with where she’s at with the treatment right now.

Some people do very well at low/moderate doses of methadone like 45mg. A hell of a lot of people don’t. There’s no way you or I (or ANYONE other than herself) can figure out what’s going to work best for her. It’ll require quiet reflection, working with her provider and a little exploration to figure out, but she’s gotta do it for herself.

If she feels good at 45mg after being stable on if for a few weeks, no harm in staying there. If she feels like she needs to raise the dose after stabilizing or sometime down the road, that is also fine.

The dose (below a certain point, which she’s no where near) is fairly arbitrary. Stabilizing is MUCH more important that the specific dose number, especially with where she’s at in treatment (still in early stabilization period).

With feedback from folks who don’t understand how methadone is used, it’s easy to feel ashamed about raising the dose. If it’s necessary, it’s necessary. There isn’t any shame in that.

It’s worthwhile staying flexible, and avoiding going too high (as in trying to chase a high that isn’t there, because with higher doses you also get more unpleasant side effects) is also a good policy. But she has to figure out what’ll work well for her.

There’s also reasons people often plateau around 80mg as opposed to 45mg, but if her habit was manageable enough prior to starting <80mg may be most appropriate (I found 60mg better than 80mg, for instance).

Plus, don’t forget that going up to a dose around 70-90mg mean she has to stay there forever. After going up to 90mg (which took about six months of slowly increasing the dose), I decided I was stable enough to try dose reductions.

I quickly learned I liked 80mg > 90mg. Then I learned I liked 70mg > 80mg. But that took a couple weeks of playing with dose reductions further to discover.

Eventually I worked my way down to 20-30mg and realized I was much happier. But by then I’d also done quite a bit of work on recovery, so I was much more ready to handle life than I was at 90mg or when I started treatment. I also taper slowly (which is ideal), so it’s not like I figured all that out overnight (it took more like 2 years).

Point is I had to make up my mind for myself. That was my process. And it takes time. LadyH’s process will likewise be her own. It’s just that she needs to figure that out/make up her own mind for herself. Rushing her to figure everything out is not how methadone treatment works.

No one can do that for her, we can only provide her with the relevant info (the relevant info isn’t “don’t go higher or you’ll hurt yourself,” because that involves a lot of assumptions).

 

[ladyhlove]

Hey guys! I'm bad about updating on weekends because I try to stay as far away from a computer as possible if I don't have to for work, lol.

The weekend was great! I spent Friday night having a girls night down the street at my local watering hole with some of my best lady friends (only had 2 beers though!). Saturday, some of those same friends + some others had a pool day followed by some delicious Hawaiian food nearby. Saturday night, my fella came up and spent the night with me and for most of the day yesterday. Did a lot of sleeping yesterday which has helped me to feel refreshed as heck today...which is good, because I have so much work to do this week.

I've been feeling great at 50mg. I definitely felt it a bit stronger on the second day on 50mg (saturday), but not high feeling...just a lot of positive energy which also stems from the fact that I love the fact that I don't have to worry about finding a fix every single day and no more stress about money which usually goes hand in hand with that. I'm happy with the choices and decisions I've been making lately and feel like my mind is the clearest its been in quite some time. I'm really happy I made the switch to methadone, I really am. I've just been feeling so much better and have gotten so much accomplished, even in just these 13 days. I'm killing it at work, my home is clean, and I have some money in the bank! Things are good.

My only complaints...sleepiness. As I said earlier, I slept a lot yesterday. I didn't have this problem for the first days adjusting to the methadone, if anything I had problems getting to sleep, but now I'm becoming incredibly sleepy often. I'm fine if I'm up and moving and doing stuff, but as soon as I sit down, my eyes become so heavy. Adding alcohol on Saturday at the pool definitely made me even sleepier. Luckily, I didn't drive and rode with a friend but I don't think I'll be mixing more than a beer or two with my methadone again, because I was pretty zonked after having like 4 beers. I was fine after a nap, but still. 1 or 2 beers and i'm fine, more than that..no way. I'm fortunate I'm not a big drinker these days, anyways.

Rio, to answer your question about weed..weed always helps me out a lot during recovery, it's kind of essential to me. It helps with appetite and sleep, mainly, especially during those first few days of either CT or adjusting to maintenance drugs. I find it also helps that need to get off work and get high. My boyfriend always makes the joke "you're solving the need to get high after work by...getting high after work"...which is totally accurate, but I figure weed has never caused the problems opiates have...not even close! The thought of getting off work and picking up and getting high was often what got me through the day, so smoking weed is kind of that substitution for me. I mean, before I started my ope addiction, weed was my "get off work and enjoy" drug, so it's just going back to a past habits (a habits that never got me in trouble or ruined relationships etc). Also, weed makes me incredibly introspective...it kills any thoughts of using after work once I take a puff. If I'm even considering copping some d, I take a puff of weed and then immediately think "naw...that's a bad idea man...". The anxiety weed causes in a lot of people kind of affects me too, but more in a "you need to get your shit together" kind of way. It also kind of solves my restlessness and boredom...the things that trigger me to go out and use, and makes me super content with just relaxing on the couch and watching a good documentary or something. It tames me. I'm fortunate that my counselor at my methadone clinic is cool and testing poz for THC isn't a big deal to him. I can't phase up and get take homes, but it isn't something that will get me kicked out of the clinic or even get a "talking to" about from anyone. My counselor will actually congratulate me for thc positive only tests "Kate! Only THC and maintenance drugs in your system?! GREAT JOB!" lol. My counselor thinks it helps me more than hurts, so it's allowed. I do think I may try and quit for awhile now that I'm pretty much stabilized...I would like to be able to have some take homes so I can travel in the next few months. I have a few debts to finish paying off that I accrued during my drug use, but nothing too major that won't take me more than a couple of months to pay off, so I'd like to have that option once my fundage is on the up and up.

Things are going well so I think I'm gonna try and stay at 50mg. Today is my 4th day on it and I have to stay at 50 for 5 days total AND THEN see the dr in order to go any higher. I'm not sure if I will. A lot of folks at the clinic are much higher than me, 100mg+ from what I've heard, so I guess going higher isn't unusual. I always thought I had a major tolerance, but I guess not if 50 is holding me (though I haven't touched any dope since starting methadone, so Im sure my tolerance went down in the days where I was feeling kinda crappy in the beginning). I'm not experiencing some of the side effects I thought I would...I haven't been sweating anymore than I usually do in the south in the summer time and no sugar cravings and fairly normals bm's..just a touch of fatugue, All in all, it's been a decent experience...i've heard some horror stories of people just absolutely hating their life on methadone, so I was scared, but I'm pleasantly surprised at how well I've responded. And most importantly...I HAVE NOT TOUCHED DOPE FOR ALMOST 2 WEEKS. :D 13 Days and counting ladies and gents.

Love yall and hope everyone's week is stellar. Time to get back to this mountain of work! &#55357;&#56850;

 

[KraziKat]

Great description of the "taming" power of cannabis. It has the exact same effect on me. And even though I know this about myself, that it will level me out and remove and/or satiate my cravings for opiates and booze, I still sometime dont smoke or eat an edible.

Also want to chime in and give you props for what sounds like a really positive step for you in your recovery...this switch to 'done. All the best, KK

 

[KraziKat]

^ Ha! It must be a sign. That was post #420 for me on BL.