now i know the stove is hot...
So shortly after my last post three weeks ago asking for dosing info, I took 25mg 2C-E orally. My hope was to spend more time in that incredibly beneficial +4 state I brushed the surface of the week before. In that previous experience, 20mg orally did very little, but shortly after insufflating 4mg at 3.5 hours in, I had that amazing milisecond long yet infinite moment. I had stupidly assumed that that 4mg bump had nothing to do with the increased intensity (I figured it was due to the fact I started meditating shortly after bumping). Now I know otherwise.
25mg orally was not substantially stronger than the 20mg had been, so once again I decided to insufflate a supplement at 3.5 hours. This time I did approximately 6mg. Within 10 minutes, I went from +1 to +3; it's like that extra bump just kicked everything in. And I was not prepared. I won't go into the details, but basically I had certain disturbing thoughts, and I was certain if I accepted these thoughts I would go insane, so instead of accepting them, I fought with all my might. Had I accepted I believe I may have been rewarded with the profound, healing experience I sought; as it was I experienced a level of horror I'd never before known, or even thought possible. The following following week was marked by profound depression, at times bordering suicidal - again unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. It's now three weeks later and while I'm still shaken, I feel much better - close to "normal" most of the time. Needless to say, I'll be taking a break from psychedlelics. I thank everyone who advised me to go slower, and wish I'd listened.