Feelin pretty shitty lately. starting to come to the realization my life revolves around work, drugs, sleep. All the things I used to do are just falling by the wayside (computers, girls, friends). I havent hung out with anyone in like 8 months, which Im not terribly upset about as Ive always been kind of a loner but before at least I was doing productive things. I have a decent job but its not something I want to do for the rest of my life. I could defintely see myself working in the IT field but I am so loathe to go to college as it costs so much. Basically im at a crossroads in my life where I need to pick between getting further education or just saying fuck it and keep doing drugs all the time. not trying to bring "the dark side" forum into this thread but some of you guys have to have similiar feelings. I feel like if I chill with any of my old friends theyll just always see me as a druggie, even if I stop. The only thing that keeps my spirits up are weed, opiates, and H. and music. idk where im going with this im kind of fucked up I just needed to vent I guess
Try setting aside money from each paycheck for something other than drugs. Give yourself a "drug allowance" for each week and stick to it. I'm going to make plans with my friends so that when I get my paycheck from my new job I will have no excuse not to hang out with them. I'm glad I took a 5 day break from all opiates to break the small dependence that I had because even though I was only using every 3 days usually, I still had a small dependence which made me get a little sick by day 3. I'm hoping to take another 5 day break before using again and try to space out my use to every 4-5 days.
The dope I got today wasn't that good, so if I get anything with my paycheck it will be from a different source unless my guy from today gets a new batch. He sold the stuff today for really cheap, so I guess he knew it was sub-par product. I guess it was the cut that was making it heavy, so hopefully it wasn't anything worse than the usual cuts. As for the little chunks, I guess that just goes to show that it's not any more of an indicator of quality than color or any other physical characteristic. Sure it can mean that the dope is fire, but not always. Even like JB has mentioned, they quality of his dope has varied even when its come in that form.