💀 The Abyss 💀 (Open 24hrs)

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Guess what guys
I fucked my friend

for at least 10+ minutes

just to rock his world

because I wanted to. It was hot and we thoroughly enjoyed each other's company.

and we watched the simpsons and he's so cute

i can't help myself I really want this kid

and I'm so... heart growing feelings/strings HOW DO I STOP THIS MAL

that's right don't be his friend
he kicks himself out
if i'm not getting over him i'm getting under him

but I'm the one on top

so does that count
 
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make that a 54 day binge

i'm going to run out of drugs

i have maybe 2-3 one packs of hash rolled in keif
and 1 dab of shatter, maybe 2 TINY dabs and
maybe 200ml of 35% liquor
and no money

my PTSD is through the roof with return of symptoms, nothing I haven't experienced before

dvilsgospel's advice that I should ask for help "use my free will" or the illusion thereof dawned on me and I will starting mon/tues (cuz mon is fed holiday maybe I won't have ppl open but that's ok i can survive till then) and ask for fam help

I am legit having depression, not so much panic but depression. Just depression. It's kind of amazing I'm not having EVERY symptom return.
 
Since I have no self-conception and truly know we're all one these are really just intricate notes to myself that I know y'all will intuitively or knowingly mirror back to me in your own words later.

@devilsgospel

And I'mma listen to DG more. SATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATANSATAN

The sooner you realize Satan's love the better of you'll be he just wants to love us and give us the fiery torch of free will and knowledge
 
The sooner you realize Satan's love the better of you'll be he just wants to love us and give us the fiery torch of free will and knowledge
I think I've realized it

I took two more benzos and another antihistamine

I'm eyerollinginthebackofmyhead a lot.

I'm just gonna try to get sleep
and wake up feeling different

and ask for help
from more than one person

because I have mental health issues. i need help.
 
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