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OD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic
Harm Reduction ⫸Should I Try HEROIN?⫷
- Thread starter Mr.Scagnattie
- Start date
Eh never mind. I’m not going to call indidival posts or people out. All good, and moving on.
Runningfox
Bluelighter
Oh I see
Maybe I missed something but you're right ; if it's something Negative then Let It Stay MISSED.
I'm on jury duty for the next six days or so. Tough case .... I feel weird. I've never set in Judgment of another human being before and it's like Fuckin Hell, Mary.
I will get thru It. Must be some Learning Experience I'm supposed to have/ endure/ derive some wisdom from. So far from what I can tell, there are some solid decent human beings settin in the jury box beside me. So here's Hoping. ..
Maybe I missed something but you're right ; if it's something Negative then Let It Stay MISSED.
I'm on jury duty for the next six days or so. Tough case .... I feel weird. I've never set in Judgment of another human being before and it's like Fuckin Hell, Mary.
I will get thru It. Must be some Learning Experience I'm supposed to have/ endure/ derive some wisdom from. So far from what I can tell, there are some solid decent human beings settin in the jury box beside me. So here's Hoping. ..
Erikmen
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- May 3, 2014
- Messages
- 20,707
It must be tough to judge someone, even worst to decide with others who may think differently in a non positive way. I have always felt judged by society, family, friends - but that's all relative. I don't like labeling people into categories of this or that but it seems we all do some of that at some point, perhaps we don't feel like we do as there's good will. So even with the best intentions it can happen..
I think that being on jury will probably give you an immense experience of life, it must be quite challenging after all a lot of things change depending on how different lawyers present their case.
Good luck!
I think that being on jury will probably give you an immense experience of life, it must be quite challenging after all a lot of things change depending on how different lawyers present their case.
Good luck!
ShroomySatori
Bluelighter
Judging addicts only makes things worse, and for the addict who already needs help. For the 5 years of my addiction which I can't say I have beat yet, I am only clean for the time being, 6 weeks or so, I kept my habit a secret from everyone but my past two girlfriends and my younger brother. I always used alone, and there were many times that I passed out and woke up later... but never knew if I had actually overdoses or not, I'd just wake up several hours later feeling fine. That is close enough. So it increases overdose risk.
It also worsens the depression of the user. Keeping such an intensive part of your life a total secret, as it is considered bad or naughty, leads to a worsened sense of emptiness, loneliness, and nihilistic tendencies. Even the word "opiate addict" comes with a negative connotation, when it's fine for people to gamble their money away, overeat, drink 10 cups of coffee a day, smoke weed all day and night, even doing Mdma and acid and stuff like coke every week is generally socially accepted around here. I don't like to use the word addict, I prefer perhaps an individual who has a chemical dependency although I do use that word out of habit. My ex girlfriend always used to say things like "you need help" and "you're just an addict" like all bluntly, and it made me feel like shit about myself.
The so-called "addict" is already dealing with some shit in their life, that most people probably couldn't deal with, or would do something else that is self-destructive. Perhaps not drugs. Why, is the drug that causes so many sudden overdeaths drugs illegal for those who are dependent? If they were able to have a consistent supply of pure china white for very cheap or free, so many less people would die, the user would be healthier, they would not feel alienated from society so much as to have to hide such a potentially serious and life threatening problem, and if it was legal it would literally be like smoking cigarettes. It would be socially accepted to insufflate precisely weighed caps of heroin or inject pre-measured ampoules of the stuff, and it would be regarded as little different from someone who feels the need every 15 minutes to go out for a smoke.
Some of these people are some of the most tortured souls on the planet, that they feel the need to turn to this drug. Some people just got caught up in it, maybe had an injury, whatever. It doesn't matter as society likes to cast judgement on these people. If it were legal as well, then we would be supporting people who are suffering, and improving quality of life, so perhaps they would not be so caught up in an unreliable, dicey, unpredictable, dangerous underworld and actually have the time and resources to say, maybe get a job. As anyone who has been addicted probably knows, opiate users are highly functional when the supply is there and flowing freely. It is when we get sick, that we cannot function at all and it is bound to happen sometimes no matter who you are or how much money you have.
I've been judged for smoking weed for fucks sake. So much, that I was kicked out of my house when I was 20, in the middle of the night without time to grab my winter coat, and had to wait an hour at the school until I was picked up by a friend, as my room apparently "reeked of dope again, you fucking worthless stoner." That shit completely fucked my head up and ruined my self esteem and even as a grown man and responsible adult my family still treats me like shit if I so much as get another ear piercing, or smell like pot for dinner. It sucks when people are so brainwashed by prohibition, that they make the choice to cast someone out of their fucking family for smoking a plant, or using whatever psychoactive it may be.
If I sound judgemental here, it is really due to my own experience. How things have gotten a lot better for me, in 6 weeks since I stopped apart from a couple one-day relapses. And how I resent what the drug personally did to me. I don't mean to call anyone out who got caught up in this, I did for 5 years and I was destroying and ruining everything around me and still chose to keep using. I can't say I will ever be over it, really. I can move on, but the damage I did to my life has been done. Not to my health, there are little to no long term health problems associated with these drugs. I personally feel like myself again, with my old problems staring me in the face all day just like before, but everywhere I look (for example, my career life or bank account) literally everything in my life has been impacted by heroin. If it was not prohibited, I wouldn't have half the mess to clean up. I already feel mentally like myself, but I have some trauma to process about my experience. I am thinking of writing a book on my experience and what led to it, in fact.
I even just feel like oral morphine at the right dose would be a fine substitute and hold most people over and keep them happy and functional. Anyways, didn't really mean to judge anyone if it sounded that way. I also have every symptom of borderline personality disorder which I mean it's just another label like "addict" but what I mean to say is that I am prone to having extreme emotional outbursts, usually directed internally at myself. I will yell at my boss and stuff if I feel like I was wronged like there is just no filter anymore. Luckily, the girl I am so attracted to finds this cute for some reason. It scares the fuck out of most people, either that or makes them avoid me and/or think I'm a prick. So yeah I'm just sayin' I can be explosive and my mood can change from hour to hour throughout the day drastically. This makes it especially challenging for me to quit, as there always comes a time when I feel self destructive and impulsive on just the wrong day.
I just wouldn't bother trying it because if you are already looking for something or have a "reason" to use, then if it helps you with that then you will likely end up with a problem and making things worse. I have made my life so much harder than it ever needed to be. But yeah I can't judge someone when I know what being heroin sick is like. I end up suicidal for a week, I can't get out of bed or sleep, I am in a state of panic, I feel like complete shit physically, I feel like I have no soul, I kick my legs until I toss and turn like it's a fuckin exorcism, the muscle aches especially in my upper arms, but full body, make me feel like I am burning alive. I can't control my body to the degree that I will shit myself, and then have a very hard time finding the energy to shower and change. Everyday tasks seems not only daunting but pure impossible to complete, like making a meal or drinking a glass of water. I'm too fucked up to even get out of bed and pour the glass of water let alone have the stomach to drink it. Vomiting until I am dry heaving for hours on end, while shitting myself, and depressed out of my mind to do point that I'd rather die than endure the pain. Then several months of not feeling right, but generally feeling okay and seeing improvement over the span of weeks and months and years. All the while, having to deal with cravings to go back to the drug, to be numb the problems it exacerbated and to the new ones it created. Living with the regret of having ever first snorted that wee little bump, or I guess the 1mg dilaudid pills that got me high as fuck, and the 2.5mg half-percocets that got me higher than I ever thought possible. Something that used to be so good, has turned to shit and it is very hard to let go and not chase that lovely high where everything is just so peaceful. Missing the energy and the euphoria, the functionality and lack of stress, while trying to relearn how to deal with the stress of life.
It's really hard to do and yeah I don't judge one for that I just sound like a borderline prick sometimes lol. Plus, I am not out of the woods at all, I don't think it will ever be possible for me to say that I am no matter how long it has been. The mind never forgets. I dislike the constant news about this "opioid crisis" too - it's a fucking prohibition crisis. So long as there are sad and broken people in the world, and people who like to party or experiment, or anyone with some sort of interest in trying an opiate, and so long as people are prescribed them or they are used for surgeries and stuff, opiate dependent people will exist. So the prohibition makes no sense to me. If I had been drinking alcohol daily all those years I was using, I wouldn't have a functional liver anymore and may have died from a health complication or withdrawal.
It also worsens the depression of the user. Keeping such an intensive part of your life a total secret, as it is considered bad or naughty, leads to a worsened sense of emptiness, loneliness, and nihilistic tendencies. Even the word "opiate addict" comes with a negative connotation, when it's fine for people to gamble their money away, overeat, drink 10 cups of coffee a day, smoke weed all day and night, even doing Mdma and acid and stuff like coke every week is generally socially accepted around here. I don't like to use the word addict, I prefer perhaps an individual who has a chemical dependency although I do use that word out of habit. My ex girlfriend always used to say things like "you need help" and "you're just an addict" like all bluntly, and it made me feel like shit about myself.
The so-called "addict" is already dealing with some shit in their life, that most people probably couldn't deal with, or would do something else that is self-destructive. Perhaps not drugs. Why, is the drug that causes so many sudden overdeaths drugs illegal for those who are dependent? If they were able to have a consistent supply of pure china white for very cheap or free, so many less people would die, the user would be healthier, they would not feel alienated from society so much as to have to hide such a potentially serious and life threatening problem, and if it was legal it would literally be like smoking cigarettes. It would be socially accepted to insufflate precisely weighed caps of heroin or inject pre-measured ampoules of the stuff, and it would be regarded as little different from someone who feels the need every 15 minutes to go out for a smoke.
Some of these people are some of the most tortured souls on the planet, that they feel the need to turn to this drug. Some people just got caught up in it, maybe had an injury, whatever. It doesn't matter as society likes to cast judgement on these people. If it were legal as well, then we would be supporting people who are suffering, and improving quality of life, so perhaps they would not be so caught up in an unreliable, dicey, unpredictable, dangerous underworld and actually have the time and resources to say, maybe get a job. As anyone who has been addicted probably knows, opiate users are highly functional when the supply is there and flowing freely. It is when we get sick, that we cannot function at all and it is bound to happen sometimes no matter who you are or how much money you have.
I've been judged for smoking weed for fucks sake. So much, that I was kicked out of my house when I was 20, in the middle of the night without time to grab my winter coat, and had to wait an hour at the school until I was picked up by a friend, as my room apparently "reeked of dope again, you fucking worthless stoner." That shit completely fucked my head up and ruined my self esteem and even as a grown man and responsible adult my family still treats me like shit if I so much as get another ear piercing, or smell like pot for dinner. It sucks when people are so brainwashed by prohibition, that they make the choice to cast someone out of their fucking family for smoking a plant, or using whatever psychoactive it may be.
If I sound judgemental here, it is really due to my own experience. How things have gotten a lot better for me, in 6 weeks since I stopped apart from a couple one-day relapses. And how I resent what the drug personally did to me. I don't mean to call anyone out who got caught up in this, I did for 5 years and I was destroying and ruining everything around me and still chose to keep using. I can't say I will ever be over it, really. I can move on, but the damage I did to my life has been done. Not to my health, there are little to no long term health problems associated with these drugs. I personally feel like myself again, with my old problems staring me in the face all day just like before, but everywhere I look (for example, my career life or bank account) literally everything in my life has been impacted by heroin. If it was not prohibited, I wouldn't have half the mess to clean up. I already feel mentally like myself, but I have some trauma to process about my experience. I am thinking of writing a book on my experience and what led to it, in fact.
I even just feel like oral morphine at the right dose would be a fine substitute and hold most people over and keep them happy and functional. Anyways, didn't really mean to judge anyone if it sounded that way. I also have every symptom of borderline personality disorder which I mean it's just another label like "addict" but what I mean to say is that I am prone to having extreme emotional outbursts, usually directed internally at myself. I will yell at my boss and stuff if I feel like I was wronged like there is just no filter anymore. Luckily, the girl I am so attracted to finds this cute for some reason. It scares the fuck out of most people, either that or makes them avoid me and/or think I'm a prick. So yeah I'm just sayin' I can be explosive and my mood can change from hour to hour throughout the day drastically. This makes it especially challenging for me to quit, as there always comes a time when I feel self destructive and impulsive on just the wrong day.
I just wouldn't bother trying it because if you are already looking for something or have a "reason" to use, then if it helps you with that then you will likely end up with a problem and making things worse. I have made my life so much harder than it ever needed to be. But yeah I can't judge someone when I know what being heroin sick is like. I end up suicidal for a week, I can't get out of bed or sleep, I am in a state of panic, I feel like complete shit physically, I feel like I have no soul, I kick my legs until I toss and turn like it's a fuckin exorcism, the muscle aches especially in my upper arms, but full body, make me feel like I am burning alive. I can't control my body to the degree that I will shit myself, and then have a very hard time finding the energy to shower and change. Everyday tasks seems not only daunting but pure impossible to complete, like making a meal or drinking a glass of water. I'm too fucked up to even get out of bed and pour the glass of water let alone have the stomach to drink it. Vomiting until I am dry heaving for hours on end, while shitting myself, and depressed out of my mind to do point that I'd rather die than endure the pain. Then several months of not feeling right, but generally feeling okay and seeing improvement over the span of weeks and months and years. All the while, having to deal with cravings to go back to the drug, to be numb the problems it exacerbated and to the new ones it created. Living with the regret of having ever first snorted that wee little bump, or I guess the 1mg dilaudid pills that got me high as fuck, and the 2.5mg half-percocets that got me higher than I ever thought possible. Something that used to be so good, has turned to shit and it is very hard to let go and not chase that lovely high where everything is just so peaceful. Missing the energy and the euphoria, the functionality and lack of stress, while trying to relearn how to deal with the stress of life.
It's really hard to do and yeah I don't judge one for that I just sound like a borderline prick sometimes lol. Plus, I am not out of the woods at all, I don't think it will ever be possible for me to say that I am no matter how long it has been. The mind never forgets. I dislike the constant news about this "opioid crisis" too - it's a fucking prohibition crisis. So long as there are sad and broken people in the world, and people who like to party or experiment, or anyone with some sort of interest in trying an opiate, and so long as people are prescribed them or they are used for surgeries and stuff, opiate dependent people will exist. So the prohibition makes no sense to me. If I had been drinking alcohol daily all those years I was using, I wouldn't have a functional liver anymore and may have died from a health complication or withdrawal.
Runningfox
Bluelighter
I'm for Decriminalization of all *controlled* substances. This would solve so many problems.
ShroomySatori
Bluelighter
I find it funny how they refer to it as the controlled substances act or whatever. They are anything but controlled.
Erikmen
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- May 3, 2014
- Messages
- 20,707
I agree. It's working well in Europe, if you are in really bad shape you could even choose to get treatment or go back to where you are.
That is one good solution for crimes and unnecessary use of jail, alleviates the Judicial workload as well.
Runningfox
Bluelighter
^^^^ Agreed.
And would remove so much of the stigma / discrimination against users.
And would remove so much of the stigma / discrimination against users.
invictus_nth
Greenlighter
I think about it. I'm on pain meds, but it never feels like enough. I feel like my tolerance builds up quickly. So I have to find ways to make it effective as i2run out of my medication early.
Sometimes I wonder if its best to switch to it. At least during periods when my meds run out early.
Sometimes I wonder if its best to switch to it. At least during periods when my meds run out early.
Fuuckraymond
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2017
- Messages
- 6
can anyone help me figure out my situation? I'm currently hooked on h, have been for 2 years now. And I know about p/w and how it works in the sense of using bupe too early into wd. Last night I waited 12 hrs after my last dose to do a sub, it was an 8 mg suboxone strip. I did about 2 mg bupe induced intravenously, I have experienced pw before but this was on another level. I was retarded sick for about an hour and was able to pass out only because i was up for 3 days prior. This morning I woke up feeling ok, and it's now been almost 13 hrs since that last shot of bupe. I'm trying to kick the h and use subs to help me get off it. So.. since I did the bupe and went thru withdrawals, the real question now is, am I able to take another shot/sublingual dose without going thru pw again? Since the h on my receptors has been replaced by bupe and now the bupe is wearing off, would I have to worry about going into pw? Or would I start to feel better ?
Runningfox
Bluelighter
It is not best to switch to H.
Perhaps ask your PM doc if there could be a higher dose? If you're afraid to ask that, see if he'd give you some gabapentin or lyrica alongside the pain meds. These gabaergic drugs (if taken a few hours prior to your first opiate med dose of the Day ) will potentiate your pain meds. This is my experience anyway and btw -- do NOT speak that term "potentiate" in front of your doctor. Perhaps just let doctor know you feel like the meds are wearing off too soon n see what he says. If HE hesitates to raise dose on painkillers or switch to a stronger / longer lasting one then you could mention you have a "friend" who takes lyrica or gabapentin with theirs and have had success. Ask innocently if that's something you could try adding?
***** pls be aware the medications I have mentioned, if used long term or in large doses, have addiction n withdrawal potential of their own. But my God I would rather see you on this combination, than turning to Heroin.
Pls consider talking w your doctor.
hydroazuanacaine
bluelighter
- Joined
- May 17, 2007
- Messages
- 8,493
one of the many problems with switching to or adding dope is you can no longer clearly see how you’re progressing. where as with pills, when a 30 doesn’t do it anymore there’s no not noticing and it’s a huge “oh fuck.”
also heroin is not some legendary best opiate. unless you are a regular comparing dealers against each other to find the best, it’s probably gonna be so so. and dealers with good are confused as fuck if you are not coming through regular like an addict. heroin is no better than hydromorphone or oxymorphone. i’m sure some people say “dopes the best” but that’s subjective and anyone being real will tell you those three give a damn similar high. i’d step over the best dope i’ve ever had for ir dilaudid pills. so if you’re wondering what those kinda opiates feel like you don’t have to leave pills.
everything surrounding heroin is dangerous and ugly. i count it separate from pain killers on my sobriety app because buying and using it carries so many additional risks.
also heroin is not some legendary best opiate. unless you are a regular comparing dealers against each other to find the best, it’s probably gonna be so so. and dealers with good are confused as fuck if you are not coming through regular like an addict. heroin is no better than hydromorphone or oxymorphone. i’m sure some people say “dopes the best” but that’s subjective and anyone being real will tell you those three give a damn similar high. i’d step over the best dope i’ve ever had for ir dilaudid pills. so if you’re wondering what those kinda opiates feel like you don’t have to leave pills.
everything surrounding heroin is dangerous and ugly. i count it separate from pain killers on my sobriety app because buying and using it carries so many additional risks.
Runningfox
Bluelighter
Yeah i would think that medically H wont be any dif than what you've got right here now. And the post above me makes a great point. With pills you can keep track of dosage; H will also Widely alter every facet of your life and most likely not in a Positive way.
Tubbs
Bluelight Crew
They both carry pretty heavy risks nowadays, but pills tend to be more consistent.
Runningfox
Bluelighter
I'm so Fuckin glad I have no access to pills anymore. Ahhhhhhh. Safe.
Tubbs
Bluelight Crew
Same here I used to get me contin free from a buddy. That shit too expensive to buy
Runningfox
Bluelighter
I can't even imagine the cost EVERY one is affording to keep these habits up or to keep well
When I needed badly enuf .... I stole. I cheated. I frauded. Whatever. I had to.
Freedom feels good.
When I needed badly enuf .... I stole. I cheated. I frauded. Whatever. I had to.
Freedom feels good.
Tubbs
Bluelight Crew
Yes indeed. I'm glad I'm not that person anymore