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Recovery ⫸⫸ THE RECOVERY THREAD 2020 ⫷⫷

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argh @Hylight i hope you resolve your stomach issues soon, you don't need that on top of everything else!

yubacity said:
but you can back over the line chinup fuck the spirits and codiene atleast mate you not got any spirits yet so camn avoid bad path.Dont try to think of spirits that will make it easier to step over the next line and the shit will start . You got a new job to look forward to mate
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you're right, i'm glad i didn't buy spirits. i passed out at some point and woke up and couldn't get back to sleep for ages, the clonazepam was supposed to prevent that.

i hope i am just doing this now cos i can. i have run out of work to do and am on my own. i really hope it magically stops when i start my new job, and i think i can pull that off cos part of why i got so fucked up last night is cos it literally doesn't matter what state i'm in this morning. my boyf is coming tomorrow so he should keep me on the straight and narrow, and i'm really busy in my week between jobs so won't be able to risk being fucked in the morning.
 
chinup said:
argh @Hylight i hope you resolve your stomach issues soon, you don't need that on top of everything else!



you're right, i'm glad i didn't buy spirits. i passed out at some point and woke up and couldn't get back to sleep for ages, the clonazepam was supposed to prevent that.

i hope i am just doing this now cos i can. i have run out of work to do and am on my own. i really hope it magically stops when i start my new job, and i think i can pull that off cos part of why i got so fucked up last night is cos it literally doesn't matter what state i'm in this morning. my boyf is coming tomorrow so he should keep me on the straight and narrow, and i'm really busy in my week between jobs so won't be able to risk being fucked in the morning.
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You done well mate . Be honest when you said a few days ago you got a little break between jobs a part of me thought you got free time and that never easy for us .

Your boyfriend coming will help put your mind elsewhere and you got shit to do in the week of between work. Does your boyfriend have a habbit or is he clean

Chinup do you exercise daily that helps a lot also meditation . I do bag work weights and running daily it helps. My wife coming to be with me she thinks I'm on something which i am today i relapsed on opium have had pods valium and pregabs . I wont lie im flying but with wife coming i thought i have a last good one got packets ordered they coming go ammonia will make a crack pipe and get smashed tomorrow the wd starts a week of hell and then wife arrive i be clean.

Going to enjoy wife arriving just us two together plus my little baby girl will be so good
 
So I was going to take a nerrrrve pill (nuerotton)
but but I scraped a bit of hydrocodone off of a pill. A 10mg. A half of a half aproximatly, but Yeah !

Ohhhh yeah. The good ones. But they really are.

I was not doing well shaking a bit so I smoked a little bit on a dab. Feel better now. I can't get up and do things though. It's really weird. If I get up I will probably get a headache and nauseous again.

But eventually I have to. Back on two day work shift. I have to get my place picked up. I'm doing good kinda so far with working extra hours and all. But it is killing me.

I think it's just mostly extreme fatigue. And having to quit pain relief again.
I am trying hard.

Because I don't want to take that gaba garbage pentin. Gabapentin has to be garbage. It's some kind of a chemical. And it's not mushrooms.

I would be less worried about my brain on mushrooms (honestly) that that stupid shit.

I would do coke if it was clean and all. Yeah right I can barely get up to clean the kitchen.
Now what ?

I haven't touched that bottle of fuck'd up shhhit gabapentin yet. Ehhhhh heeeee heee. Talk about dying. I am dying here of pain ever day. Wah Waaamh Wah. Whining like a over indulging lazy fat arse fat asss american yay yaaaaa. so there.

When I get up I'm goin ta be in pain. Or nauseous from no pain pill. Lol. there. This is giving me the mental problems. And explains the xanax.

But try not to be in pain and fuck youuu says the universe. good riddance who needs you fucking universe anyway. I can just pray myself to death with an oxygen tank and I will be just fine. 😁
 
Oh my for goodness sake.
So I took a half of a half so won't won't be hopefully tldr lol. so 2mg.
So could I just get another 2.5 to take and then jump from .5. It shouldn't matter right. But I'm in pain.
I can't even get up if I do decide to get a hit. lol.
I'm broken. Please God help mee. But really lol.
Or is it just my brain trying to trick me. God I hope death isn't this annoying, sailor.
ofi

Go
awd I'm getting a headache. It might be avatar. 😭
 
@Hylight i'm not sure i completely understand your posts, but if you're getting a headache get away from the screens! honestly they're awful..... but also convenient for complaining about your headache lol.

@yubacity how you doing mate? kinda jealous if you're having proper ammonia cooked crack. hope you're well by the time your wife and baba come. i'm free of my job!!!! but i bought spiritis..... but those little tins of g+t not like a bottle of actualy spirits, so i don't think it counts....

anyway i'm off to practise my bass before i get too drunk to play.
 
How you doing chinup mate those little cans of dont have much in it but it going the spirit way try your best not to change to spirits proper after getting a little taste.

That was a good night my mate that rent my house got involved ammonia crack was so good knock you on arse good . we had blasts all night i got it out my system i took oramorph afterwards chilled out ate and went to sleep. I got loads of pregabs left so decided will taper slowly and then jump my mate in charge because i cant taper
 
Sometimes I can make it three days without medication.
Yeah yes, Isn't that somethin.
So far so good !
I wish there was something to take. But since there isn't I need all of my medication for pain.

Oh yes. I said it. But it sure was great being blasted outta my mind even in pain management. Tee hee he. NOT.

Okay. Not accomplishing a whole lot. Except for being off of drugs. Ouch.

This is so embarrassing. Just a lazy slard ass I am and have turned into. It's just sad. But mostly disgusting. And yah. I'm going to get better !
 
kWXwH3s.jpg


Full Moon Blessing

DON'T CRY OVER THE past, IT'S GONE.

DON'T STRESS ABOUT THE future, IT HASN'T ARRIVED.

LIVE IN THE present AND MAKE IT ♡

Beautiful

🌚​
 
51 days sober today.

Got to a point seven and a half weeks ago where I almost killed myself driving high and drunk, punched through a glass window then went to score bleeding profusely from wrist where the glass shards cut me. My missus was going to leave me and take my daughter with her. Figured it was probably time for a break.

I promised a year of sobriety.
 
🍂🍁🍁🌻🌻🌻🍁🍁
EVERY DAY MAY
NOT BE GOOD,
BUT THERE IS
SOMETHING GOOD
IN EVERY DAY !!
🍁🍁🍁🍃🌿🍁🌻🍂​
 
chinup said:
absolutely bang on @Hylight

hope all are doing well. i'm scared that i won't be able to magically stop my escalating substance use when i start my new job.
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I certainly hope you can. I know for a fact that if I had been working during the month of July I wouldn't have relapsed, but I did and now I just have to stay on the wagon and shake these WD's.
How are you getting on at the moment?

I wish there was a live chat feature on Bluelight so that people could chat in real-time - sometimes what some of us need is to so desperately talk to someone in real time.
 
I cramped up so bad this morning.
I have to get healthy.
Lol, no more. ☹

I almost actually took a gabapentin.
But opioid would be so much healthier.

I was shakin really badly.
I think it is what you all call that rebound
anxiety.

Thank you. What a gift. But another time marijuana saves my life. lolo 😮
Amen 😁


And then I should get high. 😎🖤🤣 <3 <3
 
Thank you @chinup.

I can help myself when I get otta bed.

But I really want so much more.

My exercise mats are right here for me.
 
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