Cxmpromised
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 28, 2020
- Messages
- 123
the first week was not fun of course but i was convinced that tis will be temporary and ill be back on track at the end of the month. Naive i was. I was doing a scholarship and to validate my semester i had to do an internship. I was the supervisor of a wine shop in Paris. I had to do everything on my own (restock, transactions, cleaning the shop, be nice and advice the customer). Every fucking day i wanted to kill my self. Alcool was terrible, let me describe it: tinnitus, the impression of not knowing how to speak, mental pain.
I was most of my day looking for answers on the internet (french forums...); i read pages of medical thesis on paliperidone. I called many people all over the world, I ve seen a chinese doctor who made me coction, i ve seen a tibetan monk, an energizer, a psychotherapist... I was miserable and you can see my posts back in the day (i was hopeless) but eventhough i complained a lot, even to my family, i still fight and wanted revenge. Only my mom trusted me, my dad even at the start thought i was still mentally heal. The summer was hard but winter was a journey. I had no progress or anything until i decided that i need to restart the machine. I called a fantastic person who had the shot in 2013, one of the first, a veteran. She was very pretty and "normal". Yes normal because there is a lot of weirdo on this forum and generally when youre talking to people mentally sick. She gave me hope like nobody else did. So i began running 4 times a week, i still smoked a lot of cigarettes.
I was most of my day looking for answers on the internet (french forums...); i read pages of medical thesis on paliperidone. I called many people all over the world, I ve seen a chinese doctor who made me coction, i ve seen a tibetan monk, an energizer, a psychotherapist... I was miserable and you can see my posts back in the day (i was hopeless) but eventhough i complained a lot, even to my family, i still fight and wanted revenge. Only my mom trusted me, my dad even at the start thought i was still mentally heal. The summer was hard but winter was a journey. I had no progress or anything until i decided that i need to restart the machine. I called a fantastic person who had the shot in 2013, one of the first, a veteran. She was very pretty and "normal". Yes normal because there is a lot of weirdo on this forum and generally when youre talking to people mentally sick. She gave me hope like nobody else did. So i began running 4 times a week, i still smoked a lot of cigarettes.