Though the amount of drug may be "negligible", it's all about the vibes, baby.
And I don't mean that in a positive way when it concerns the little ones.
I smoked tiny amounts of weed throughout pregnancy and felt guilty as guilty could be. I was regularly concerned about where it came from-- "I bet some idiot put Miracle-gro on here...". I continued smoking weed until we weaned at 18 months. Because I started Adderall, and Klonopin the month before.
Throughout breastfeeding, I did quite a number of pharms. It's fucking unacceptable!! Because I so flagrantly spit on my own morals, I was cognitively shoveling the blame on to the one who placed the substances in my sweaty, selfish palm (Enter baby daddy, stage left).
I took plenty of OC for about a week/month for about 5 months. Definitely other random opiates, mostly hydrocodone based. I watched her closely and she did not sleep extra or any side effects. EXCEPT. Hydrocodone would make her break out in a rash all over her little body for a few days. That was soo trashy to keep taking it. I tried to distract her with food, snacks, milk (not mommy milk), and so on- I NEVER denied her the breast, and she refused a bottle until sippy cup at 10/11 months. My pawing, suckling little bundle of warmth and sugar wanted my milk and after stressful attempts to not do it (the adult KNEW what was in the non-assuming milk), usually I surrendered to giving her a little bit, though I know she was getting a LOT.
Right after her birth (3 weeks old) I met a friend at a restaurant and REALLY. ENJOYED. some Long Island Iced Tea (I rarely drink, but being forbidden during pregnancy made it so tantalizing). How.Ever. Parent fail. I had mistakenly assumed that [a variety of cheap] hard liquor was o.k. while nursing. After all- the internet approved wine and beer. Yeah I was drunk like a real mom-of-the-year-- then I nursed her-- Hello projectile vomiting
While I can sit here today and chronicle my parenting-wins, I'm grateful for a space where we can share these dark things *anonymously*. It's so key. 2 years ago I'd have been eating this up. So, hopefully someone out there gets something positive out of my experience.
I will say- not with pride- I did have to extend some self-control; I was NOT an avid user by any means. Cigarettes were mostly not being used, and I made an effort to avoid pharms unless they were in a low risk category for nursing kids. And I'd take the proper dose as MUCH as "possible".
Hell yeah I've been flamed in a mothering forum for this! Are you kidding. I thrive on the real talk no matter what's going on. If I don't lay "it" out there, I'm gonna isolate until secrets and shame consume.. nah... I'd rather spread it around and let others lay it on me... so I don't have to do the guilt thing to myself by myself.
Peace folks.
Don't breastfeed and intoxicate. Kthx. It's all about the vibes.