can homosexuality be a choice?

[tennesseetitans]

I didn't have a choice to be straight (at least not consciously). I don't have a choice which girls I'm sexually attracted to (unfortunately)...I think that ultimately people don't have a choice in the psychological aspect of attraction. For ex. I don't think a straight person can suddenly and consciously become psychologically homosexual; they can choose to engage physically in homosexual relationships, etc.; but I don't think they can choose to be homosexual anymore than a homosexual person can force themselves to be straight without an extreme degree of repression and self denial. Just like I could choose to engage in physical acts with a girl I wasn't attracted to, but I couldn't make myself be attracted to her.

In short I think everyone has a sexual attraction thresh hold--sub-conscious--that cannot be chosen or altered but might can change overtime--which may or may not match up with their conscious choices (based on society, environment, etc).

 

[Wolfmans_BrothEr]

So men that like small breasted and thin women are hardwired wrong?

No, personally I like perky girls myself, what I said was based on a few different things I watched on discovery channel about human attraction. What they discussed wasn't about everyone, just the majority

 

[AmorRoark]

^ I saw that too. Very interesting.

 

[L2R]

I think sex preference CAN definitely be a choice, and one has an ability to aquire tastes they are not predisposed to, however there are no legitimate reasons to exercise such a change. Family and religion and whoever has no business in an individual's tastes.

 

[modern buddha]

The argument I hear all the time is that homosexuals are born that way, it's natural they didn't choose to be gay

But whenever I've heard that I've said to myself why can't it be a choice?

Like I've heard gay people argue over the fact of whether it's a choice or not, but I think...why? Who cares whether it's a choice or not, what's the difference?

I mean, there has to be someone out there who started out straight and realized theyd rather be gay..I'm not talking about just being in the closet, I'm talking about having a shit ton of failed relationships only to try their shot with the same sex?

Am i crazy for thinking someone can choose who they're attracted to? I'm not gay so I cant really say definitely yes or no

The only choice in this matter, in my honest and humble opinion, is the choice whether to embrace liking the same sex or to simply "get by" with living with a member of the opposite sex.

There is no set "choice" to who you are attracted to. Ask yourself this question: have you ever been attracted to another person that is the same sex as you? If the answer is no, then you've answered your own question, except on the opposite end of the spectrum.

If you cannot be attracted to a person of the same sex, then someone who is completely homosexual cannot be attracted to a person of the opposite sex. There are different levels of homosexuality and heterosexuality. I, for one, have been attracted to males. I still consider myself to be mostly homosexual, though. I cannot see myself living a sexual life with a male. I conform more to being in relationships with females.

Long story short: you are attracted to who you are attracted to. Gender is not applicable.

 

[ninjadanslarbretabar]

Choice consists of the mental process of judging the merits of multiple options and selecting one of them.

so that would imply that the birds, mammals, reptiles, fish, insects and other invertebrates for which there is documented evidence of homosexual behavior do have the mental ability of making choices

 

[Owl Eyed]

I have a few things to point out here:

First off, for the people saying that some woman or some guy suddenly decided to be attracted to the same sex one day are a bit short-sighted. The likely cause of that in those types of situations are years of repressed sexual urges/feelings. Maybe they grew up with a strong religious or conservative background. One where homosexuality was openly discouraged.

If homosexuality were truly a choice, then why would hundreds and thousands of teens AND adults make their lives miserable by being the target of bullying or discrimination based solely on their sexuality?

Homosexuality occurs in nature amongst animals other than ourselves (as ninja pointed out).

Just because you are a guy who has sex with a guy doesn't necessarily make you a homosexual. Same going to for females. You could be bi-curious, or maybe a little experimental.

Modern society has become so hung up on these labels that it really misrepresents human sexuality. It should really be viewed as a large spectrum, with many possibilities in between. Homo/heterosexuality are conceptual creations and social fabrications of the past 1000 years. Plenty of cultures before ours had multiple genders and orientations...

Whatever engenders people and influences their sexuality is a mixture of many things going on in your body AND society.

P.S: Athenian men had an affinity for young boys not necessarily because of genetic traits, but because of how socialization took place. Look up "pederasty".

 

[Ason Unique]

I'm gay (unwillingly) and I'd have to say no

 

[Wolfmans_BrothEr]

I guess my main question is.. is it a bad thing if it is a choice?

^^and yo just b.c your gay not by choice doesn't mean that's the same for everyone

 

[Noodle]

One can choose to be out and one can choose to adopt the particulars of a subculture, but one does not choose to be attracted to only the same sex.

I have only this to ask:

can heterosexuality be a choice?

 

[L2R]

^why would hetero be any different?

if one were to be treated horribly or even raped by a member of a certain sex (same or other), it could definitely be plausible to be put off from attraction of that entire gender. this is a choice. there's trauma behind it, but choice nonetheless.

If homosexuality were truly a choice, then why would hundreds and thousands of teens AND adults make their lives miserable by being the target of bullying or discrimination based solely on their sexuality?

Because that misery is at the failure of those targeting them, and not the gays and lesbians themselves. Truthfully there is nothing wrong with homosexuality. Discrimination is the wrong here. To exercise the choice to change would be to be denying this truth.

hence, it is a choice, but the only legitimate reasons to choose different are purely personal, and NOT social. it's none of society's business who anyone is attracted to.

 

[Owl Eyed]

^^and yo just b.c your gay not by choice doesn't mean that's the same for everyone

i tend to view people who say theyre gonna be gay from now on or whatever it is tend to be people who just experiment with their sexuality. not that there is anything wrong with that. with that being said, i don't see sexuality as a black or white issue. as i mentioned before i see it as a spectrum. a big, colorful spectrum.

Because that misery is at the failure of those targeting them, and not the gays and lesbians themselves. Truthfully there is nothing wrong with homosexuality. Discrimination is the wrong here. To exercise the choice to change would be to be denying this truth.

my point of mentioning that was if it were a choice, then why wouldn't they just choose to be hetero in order to avoid discrimination? forget the fact that those who discriminate are at fault. if it really was something as simple as a choice, wouldn't you simply become straight in order to escape being attacked?

 

[ebola?]

if one were to be treated horribly or even raped by a member of a certain sex (same or other), it could definitely be plausible to be put off from attraction of that entire gender. this is a choice. there's trauma behind it, but choice nonetheless.

Er...in what way is this a choice? In what fashion does one choose what to desire (in any domain)?

ebola

 

[L2R]

my point of mentioning that was if it were a choice, then why wouldn't they just choose to be hetero in order to avoid discrimination? forget the fact that those who discriminate are at fault. if it really was something as simple as a choice, wouldn't you simply become straight in order to escape being attacked?

No. Being attacked is no reason to change such a thing. How would I honestly convince myself otherwise without a genuine reason? It would be like lying to myself.

As an analogy, people adamantly die and be killed (let alone torture) for religious or political conflicts, yet they could just as easily chose to change in order to avoid such horror.

Er...in what way is this a choice? In what fashion does one choose what to desire (in any domain)?

ebola

Facing or avoiding fears and past sources of trauma is a choice, the former generally creating greater immediate unpleasantness and the latter the possibility of longer term issues. Everyone decides how to heal in their own way, whether that be good for them or not.

 

[L2R]

I'm not saying that sexuality is a choice in that one day everyone wakes up and decides to be attracted to x or y or both. We all have predisposed tastes, and i agree that it's always a combination of both to some degree (as others have said).

The question is CAN sexuality (homo/hetero/whatever) be a choice. I'm just demonstrating that there are very few situations where such a choice to change can seem genuine enough to exercise it. Where that line is would also vary from person to person.

Society can't do it, it has to be a personal decision. It is purely a personal matter between you and yourself.

 

[DrunkardsDream]

No being homosexual or gay is NOT a choice.

I'm OK with being a gay man now that I'm an adult, but if you asked me this when I was a teenager and discovered that I'm gay and you told me how I could change my sexuality or that it was somehow a choice I would have said how if I had a choice in the matter then I would not have decided to be anything but heterosexual/straight.

I'm gay and I've never had any sort of sexual attraction to a woman or any women since I'm not bisexual at all.

 

[ebola?]

Facing or avoiding fears and past sources of trauma is a choice, the former generally creating greater immediate unpleasantness and the latter the possibility of longer term issues. Everyone decides how to heal in their own way, whether that be good for them or not.

Okay. This makes a great deal of sense, but I would argue that even in such cases, the individual is not "choosing" to take on a particular sexual orientation, or even exert influence thereon. Instead, the exercise of cognitive work to deal with drama leads to likely inadvertent 'distortions' of desire as a consequence.

ebola

 

[Bearlove]

The argument I hear all the time is that homosexuals are born that way, it's natural they didn't choose to be gay

But whenever I've heard that I've said to myself why can't it be a choice?

Like I've heard gay people argue over the fact of whether it's a choice or not, but I think...why? Who cares whether it's a choice or not, what's the difference?

I mean, there has to be someone out there who started out straight and realized theyd rather be gay..I'm not talking about just being in the closet, I'm talking about having a shit ton of failed relationships only to try their shot with the same sex?

Am i crazy for thinking someone can choose who they're attracted to? I'm not gay so I cant really say definitely yes or no

A person does not go gay because they have had a failed 'straight' relationship - a gay person likes sex with somebody of the same sex.

You simply dont go gay because straight is too much work / hassle.

You say your staight - if you have 3 or 4 failed relationships with the gender of your choice would you say - That hasnt worked Ill try the same sex?

 

[L2R]

Okay. This makes a great deal of sense, but I would argue that even in such cases, the individual is not "choosing" to take on a particular sexual orientation, or even exert influence thereon. Instead, the exercise of cognitive work to deal with drama leads to likely inadvertent 'distortions' of desire as a consequence.

ebola

same thing really. "i choose to avoid potential causes of repeated trauma" may directly translate to "that gender scares me".

and to pander to ebola's train of usual thought, the assertion of choice here assumes that choice in the philosophical scheme of things exists in the first place as opposed to simply causal reactions as per our predispositional directions.

 

[AfterGlow]

Your behavior is a choice. Your biology is not.