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Alcoholism Thread v. A sober life is a good life <3

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^ That sounds great dude. I hope it goes well for you. I know the feeling of finally finding help and thinking 'errr i might not want this after all?'

You don't need luck :) <3
 
n3ophy7e said:
^^ That's great you get your liver function tested regularly :)
Do you have any plans to cut down your alcohol consumption? What is your current level of consumption, if you don't mind me asking?
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Not at the present, I feel like I really need it to relax. I normally use 8-10oz over about a 2-4 hr period. Then I either eat and go to bed or come home and do the same. Thats a typical day. The liver test is something VA gives all vets who've had hepititis. I had B coming out of service. Now if I could just get an MRI of liver without them knowing I drink while on subs... That would be good.


I just came in here to announce that I've been accepted in to a research program for alcoholics (which is coincidentally run by the Psychology department at my university! I study Psychology but I've checked and none of my professors are involved in the program, phew! That would be very awkward).
The program will involve weekly 1-hour CBT sessions for alcoholism AND anxiety, for 12 weeks. I also have to then give feedback on how well the sessions helped me and stuff, like, giving them data for their study. Everybody wins! :)

It's just the weirdest thing though....whenever I'm drunk or hungover I constantly think "Right, I'm ready to quit, this has got to stop". But now that I've actually been accepted in to a program and the possibility of me quitting alcohol is very real and imminent, I'm freaking out and second-guessing it all.

Maybe I'm NOT ready to quit.
Maybe I never want to quit.
Will I honestly never be able to have a drink again after this??
What if I want to drink again one day....will I be able to drink in moderation?

I'm scared, I'm excited, I'm angry that I didn't get my shit together and find a program like this YEARS ago. For 6 whole years I have been drinking dangerous levels of alcohol and have probably taken about 8 years off my life. This has gone on for far too long, but I'm still not ready to quit.
But I'll never be ready.....if I keep waiting to be "ready" I'll never quit.

Wish me luck everyone. I think the program starts in a couple of weeks' time.
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Congrats on the research program and best of luck.

IDK about the moderation thing since Alcohol has never been my only DOC. Always mixed it with something else which I think kept me from going totally over board with the booze. When I was on MMT hardly used it at all... but now that I'm on Subs I need something else and don't want it to be switching back and forth to opiates which I did for awhile.

Anyway, maybe this research thing will be helpful to us and everyone. Keep us advised about and what part they're studying and what you find out. If they could only show heavy drinkers some kind of clear 3d image of their own liver against a normal one... that could be some powerful motivation.
 
n3ophy7e said:
^^ That's great you get your liver function tested regularly :)
Do you have any plans to cut down your alcohol consumption? What is your current level of consumption, if you don't mind me asking?



I just came in here to announce that I've been accepted in to a research program for alcoholics (which is coincidentally run by the Psychology department at my university! I study Psychology but I've checked and none of my professors are involved in the program, phew! That would be very awkward).
The program will involve weekly 1-hour CBT sessions for alcoholism AND anxiety, for 12 weeks. I also have to then give feedback on how well the sessions helped me and stuff, like, giving them data for their study. Everybody wins! :)

It's just the weirdest thing though....whenever I'm drunk or hungover I constantly think "Right, I'm ready to quit, this has got to stop". But now that I've actually been accepted in to a program and the possibility of me quitting alcohol is very real and imminent, I'm freaking out and second-guessing it all.

Maybe I'm NOT ready to quit.
Maybe I never want to quit.
Will I honestly never be able to have a drink again after this??
What if I want to drink again one day....will I be able to drink in moderation?

I'm scared, I'm excited, I'm angry that I didn't get my shit together and find a program like this YEARS ago. For 6 whole years I have been drinking dangerous levels of alcohol and have probably taken about 8 years off my life. This has gone on for far too long, but I'm still not ready to quit.
But I'll never be ready.....if I keep waiting to be "ready" I'll never quit.

Wish me luck everyone. I think the program starts in a couple of weeks' time.
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Good for you! :) I too hope this works and I remember feeling the same way, but I am so glad I stopped. You will be prolly be pleased as punch once you have stopped (especially if you are concerned about what its doing to your health). Best of luck!!
 
^^ Thanks wooger :) <3
SubDude said:
Anyway, maybe this research thing will be helpful to us and everyone. Keep us advised about and what part they're studying and what you find out.
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Yes absolutely I will!! For sure :)
Thanks man <3
 
^ how you doin N30 hun, hows it goin for ya?<3

I've drank a bit yesterday and am going through a bottle today. Just got to keep a track of it I always seem to need somethin- have managed to stay off booze for most of the week, so am happy with that, had been having a bottle most days the past month so...(although I get obsessed with food when I dont have it as a 'blanket')...I just cant drink 'normally', dunno if thats possible for me. Just got to manage it, it always seems like a companion more than a plain beverage. Considering the circumstance, I gotta stay aware, always and manage my life rather than let it manage mine. Can be done I rekon, has to.
 
Asclepius said:
^ how you doin N30 hun, hows it goin for ya?<3
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Thanks for asking lovely <3
I'm going okay today. Although I would cut my own leg off for a bottle of wine or a 6-pack of beer.
Yesterday I was completely zonked out all day on tramadol and codeine so that kept me occupied so that I didn't drink. Today I'm not drinking either (SO WEIRD not drinking on a Saturday and then not on a Sunday!! Such a foreign concept to my body and brain).

Also, as I mentioned in the one-word thread, my hands are shaking so badly today. I can't recall ever having the shakes this bad before. Yesterday I was quite shaky as well but because I'm 100% sober today I'm noticing it much more. It's such a blatent physical sign that I absolutely MUST give the drinking away.

Asclepius said:
it always seems like a companion more than a plain beverage.
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I can relate to this statement so well hun.
It always sounds like you've got a really good awareness of your drinking and why you drink, and I admire that.
 
this last week I drank way too much, topping it off with getting blacked out on friday at a party and waking up in a ravine covered in cuts and bruises with no memory of how I got there. Yikes. I spent the weekend recovering. I am trying to be more in control and disciplined about it. I am not going to stop drinking yet, I don't want to quit altogether, but I need to have more control and take better care of myself. I am taking this week off to detox. i am trying to keep my drinking down to one or two drinks max a day, and not every day.

I find i drink more when I am anxious or in a situation where I feel uncomfertable talking to people. I need to practice being more socialable and less quick to grab another beer.
 
Well just going to share my story!!!

I'm 28 and have been drinking since I was well, i guess my first sip was when i was a kid sneaking a sip of beer from my folks, but it got bad then I was around 22. I would wake up drink and be drunk most of the day. then black outs were a regular occurrence.

I got a DUI in 2007. I woke up that morning, had a bottle and a half of wine, then due to a fight with my mom, i ran out and had five Cadillac margaritas and drove. I went to the convalescent hospital where my granny was at, the nurses tried to stop me from leaving but then I decided to leave and got in a small fender bender (no one hurt) before getting on the 101 freeway,which I know for certain I would have died and/or killed someone. God was with me.

I blew a .27 and had a bail of $100,000, the only other one in the cell that had a higher bail was a girl that was there for attempted murder.

Four days later, the felony was dropped to a misdemeanor. The prosecutor come to find out was Dannette Meyers, the one who is prosecuting Lindsey Lohan. She got sick before my time to see the judge. My attorney said that I was lucky because she was a bitch ( she told me literally in those words) and i would have been in jail for 40 days. Luckily I prayed to God and was let out and had to do 40 days Cal Trans.

In doing Cal Trans I met my husband. He works for them and we fell in love. Again, God was with me and it was a blessing in disguise.

I would still drink to and extreme excess. One time me and the hubby got in a fight and I pulled the keys out of the ignition on a busy Los Angeles freeway, we were going about 65mph. i was so fucked up I don't remember doing that. I lost a $5000 Tag Heuer watch, for being drunk. I have almost lost my job due to showing up smelling like booze too many times. I have blacked out countless times from being drunk, hit my head fallen down. bruised up and felt horrible. Put my mom and husband through HELL because of it.

I have since cut back on drinking. I think it has been since Feb 14 that I got really blacked out drunk. I have had my times when I drink recently, but not to the extent where im so fucked up i cant function. Or even as drunk to be combative or an ass thank God. I was able to have a beer yesterday and still be straight.

I'm thinking that now that I drink beer its easier to control this beast. I used to just drink wine and then be fucked up even before I knew it. Horrible horrible way to be.

I'm just glad God has been with me the whole way and while I dont believe in religion, I do know that someone is there looking over us.
 
misszee007 said:
One time me and the hubby got in a fight and I pulled the keys out of the ignition on a busy Los Angeles freeway, we were going about 65mph. i was so fucked up I don't remember doing that. I lost a $5000 Tag Heuer watch, for being drunk.
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^^^^^

Umm....if my gf pulled the keys out the ignition going 65mph on the freeway, umm...I dont hit women but she would get a good slap back to reality, LoL! ALso, next time buy a Rolex for $5,000.

Are you at least getting better with the drinking? No more DUI's?
 
No shit man I know I deserved a smack in the face for that! What an asshole I was for that.

No more expensive watches either. It got so bad I would misplace things. Oner time we were partying with some family freinds who were also big time cholos here in so cal. I got fucked up and forgot to get my bag at the end of the night. Thank goodness the main chick was cool with me and she kept my bag. Did not find anything missing when i picked it up the net day.

Yes I am getting better with the drinking. I've been able to just have a few beers, get a buzz and not feel the need to keep drinking and go over board like I used to.

No more DUI's thank goodness. God that was a hell I never would wish on anyone. Just the not knowing if when I go to court they for some error would remand me back to custody that is hell. Not being able to control yourself when your drunk is hell. Knowing what shit ive put my family through is HELL.

I think I have learned from it many years after and through alot of trial and error. I have gotten lucky not to have lost my life or killed someone so I had to decide to put the breaks on all the BS and grow the fuck up :)
 
Has anyone in here got any experience/knows of anyones experience(positive and negative) of Antabuse?
 
RedLeader said:
Not a drop of alcohol in May. =D

Now I gotta phase out the opiates, which I am going to do all this month. Hopefully then I can finally feel happy and free from all of this stuff.
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Good job... I hope you can find out why you needed/wanted the stuff in the first place. I had 5 1/2 yrs of total abstinence once and it was the best time of my adult life. volunteer work, ltttle league basketball and baseball coach all the good things life gives without alcohol/drugs. I even started intense psychotherpy but decided it was to expensive... end result of that is here i am back on ORT and the booze.
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Asclepius- I had a friend on antabuse and all it did for him was make him horribly sick when he drank. But this guy had other problems so it can work if you clearly understand you CAN'T drink while on it unless you don't mind something similar to Precip WD's.
 
I always quit using alcohol when I started using opiates, and it always seemed great, like the perfect solution. Now that I have been down that road several times I really cant tell you which one is worse. (But I'm leaning toward opiates being worse)
 
Alcoholism, depression and suicide

I was concerned about my friend. He was drinking heavily and attempted suicide. After speaking with him and talking about things, I realized that I had many of the same issues not too many years ago, and that I am still dealing with them on different levels. It turned into something I had not realized or confronted with myself, not just my friend. It was almost as if I had blocked it out of my mind...like I couldn't have actually done something like that. But then it hit me. The alcohol has destroyed a good portion of my happy life. It has taken my family members, friends and myself to places I'd rather not speak of. I don't want any more abuse, the neglect, the further rooting of my addiction.

Today I am more than 5 weeks clean and sober from alcohol. I cannot control what my friends choose to do, so I am doing the only thing I know I have any chance of doing; making a more sober life for myself. One non alcoholic drink at a time.
 
SubDude said:
Asclepius- I had a friend on antabuse and all it did for him was make him horribly sick when he drank. But this guy had other problems so it can work if you clearly understand you CAN'T drink while on it unless you don't mind something similar to Precip WD's.
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Thanks for that SubD. Have read mixed stuff about it. It really has to be a personal choice to want to take it to stop drinking and being aware of the consequences, is a priority.
Concerning the person in question, they are chronic but have a history of liver problems and high blood pressure-so I dont know if they will get perscribed it.

Have read one persons account of being forced to be made aware of how their feeling by taking antabuse; that the alcohol lost it's 'magical spell' and this negative conditioning created/forced a situation where this person was in a position to contemplate, what they were feeling in reality, whereas ordinarily the impulse to contain the feared, feelings by drinking would be too strong to allow any sober situation to foster an awareness of these feelings.
This account made the taking of antabuse akin to 'tripping' as the guy developed invaluble insight into how he was feeling about life and attributed it to willingly and being in control of taking the the pill, rather than just trying willfully to abstain from alcohol of his own violition alone-if you get what I mean.
Control: gaining and losing and the illusion's of Control, seems to have a huge part to play with any addiction. I dunno, maybe its just a shot in the dark.

Am concerned about any negative consequences too; like turning to pills to get the escape and replacing the alcohol with other distructive 'remedies'.
If the crutch is taken away will this cause even more unbearable reactions from this person?
I know that some people with Binge Eating disorder who have got Gastric- Band Surgery have developed Alcoholism or other addictions to replace their original addiction, so am worried that removing the 'crutch' would cause further problems too.

Things have gotten so bad that if they dont stop they will be homeless and have lost all sympathy/trust from Famly/friends/ Medics etc.
 
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