Harm Reduction Progress Mega Thread

[Tommyboy]

I haven't taken my valium since 7am Monday. I was down to 1mg/day, but had hovered there until school was over. I really didn't plan on stopping, but I had nothing to do this week so figured I would try to kick. Going good so far, I haven't gone more than a day without a benzo in over 5 years.

 

[BrokedownPalace]

I haven't taken my valium since 7am Monday. I was down to 1mg/day, but had hovered there until school was over. I really didn't plan on stopping, but I had nothing to do this week so figured I would try to kick. Going good so far, I haven't gone more than a day without a benzo in over 5 years.

Awesome, man ! That's great to hear. Benzo addiction/dependence is a bitch. I have been on and off of them for ~6 years now. A couple years ago I was up to 6-8mg of alprazolam daily, and was forced to stop cold turkey. It was hell, even worse than my ~70mg/day methadone kick.

Now I am prescribed ativan 1mg x2 a day and klonopin 1mg per night. I sometimes run out early but I always remember that xanax kick, which took me about 7 months to recover from, and don't let myself get out of hand and if I know I am gonna run out early I do a quick taper to minimize w/d. Luckily I also take neurontin which helps greatly, and soma.

---

As for my progress, as many of you know in March I quit methadone, cold turkey, at 70mg per day. I was on MMT for about 15 months and before that on heroin for a year or two.

I was clean for a while, but that cold turkey methadone kick was the most horrible thing I have ever been thru. Using my other prescribed meds, and some bupe, I managed to get thru the detox and was off of opiates for about a month..

But unfortunately in the beginning of May I made the STUPID STUPID STUPID decision to buy some heroin. (I'll spare the details of what happened in my life recently that caused me to want to get high) but needless to say I managed to catch myself a little daily habit again.. ARGH.. I'm only sniffing ~5 bags a day or so, not IVing or anything thank god.

But luckily I'll be getting some more bupe in a couple of days, and am gonna nip this shit in the bud befoire it gets TOO too out of hand. So between the bupe, my soma, neurontin, and some benzos this should be not too bad.

I would just cold turkey it but I am in between refills on my soma and benzos so doing a c/t heroin kick is not on the top of my list of things to do right at this moment.

Bah. I really thought I had opiates licked after that methadone detox.. Bah but the cycle continues.

But thank god I have a fantastic girlfriend, my mom, and a few close friends who will help me thru this.

I also must have a guardian angel who, without the aforementioned being, this situation could get a lot worse. Literally a life saver. You know who you are. %)

 

[Pegasus]

Since I quit bupe around two months ago, I was using kratom a little too regularly. I noticed a few weeks ago (in a holding cell) that I had become addicted to kratom, and have been cutting back ever since. I don't blame kratom at all for this, I used it more than was necessary to transition off of bupe for sure, and I knew that addiction was possible. I cut back from 7g 2-3 times per day to around 2g twice per day and jumped off completely on the 23rd. The kratom w/d is pretty damn unpleasant, I am finding out... similar to pod withdrawal IMO, probably due to similarly having a range of alkaloids. Again, it is totally my fault and I still stand by kratom for coming off of opiates... I just overdid it and am paying the price.

On the bright side, I feel that the drug abusing period of my life is definitely over. I've felt this way for awhile, I have wanted to feel "normal" since quitting bupe two months ago... Withdrawal from bupe hit me really hard this time and this led to me overusing kratom and getting myself into the current situation. I've been deeply reflecting on a lot of the things I have put my body through over this eight year binge and the reasons why, and I've come to terms with the reasons why I did what I did, and am confident in my resolve to move on from here.

 

[Tommyboy]

^ I can totally relate to the second paragraph. Benzos were definitely altering my mindset even at very low doses during the taper. Now I don't have much of a desire to get high, as it will only get in the way of my goals.

 

[YourNeighbor]

This is the summer I will get clean. Since overcoming a pretty nasty physical dependence earlier this year and cutting back use to about once every 2 weeks, opiates don't even make me feel high anymore, they just make me feel nauseous and headachey. It's not worth it, even though my mind tells me it is so many times a day...so fucking hard to fight off temptation.

 

[caseface99]

Hey everyone... figured i would check in since i haven't in forever. I still haven't gotten my laptop fixed and my girls laptop was messed up for a while so i didn't have any computer for a long time, with working full time and not doing many drugs and what not i sort of just got out of the habit of bluelight.

I'm still alive though, obviously.

I'm still incredibly feeling intense heat/uncomfortablness in my arms and upper body at night when im trying to sleep. It's there during the day i think but not to the same degree. i stopped taking suboxone entirely in September, so it's been like 5 months and im still dealing with this shit. It's seriously making me want to just say fuck it and go back on bupe at this point. I don't know if it's the PAWS but i am also unable to eat anything all day, i have no appetite until the afternoon, which sucks because i work full time in a busy grocery store deli on my feet all day, and working all day in a empty stomach leaves you hella fuckin' sore and exhausted.

All in all i guess im doing pretty good though, it's been 7ish months since i stopped shooting heroin/coke and doing hard drugs in general and went to rehab, and i feel a LOT healthier. last 5 months has been mostly just smoking weed with occasionally tripping and occasional OPs, nothing too bad. Wish i could afford to get my computer fixed.. I start posting here daily again. Oh well, in time ill make a comeback. Right now i just work to much.

 

[Pegasus]

^Yeah, RLS can seem to linger for a really long time... I'm going through this as well currently. Diphenhydramine/ doxylamine seem to help quite a bit if I need help falling asleep.

 

[DeLee]

Sadly its been a couple of rough days for me.
My methadone which is at 80mg/day isn't working properly.
I go to my clinic get the liquid solution (16ml with a strenght of 5mg/ml = my 80mg dose) and I usually go home and wait but I don't feel a thing.

My pupilles doesn't even constrict the smalled amount, almost as if they get bigger.
Its just very strange right now and I don't know what, tp



16

 

[Tommyboy]

^ So are you tapering off of the methadone, or just wondering why you are no longer feeling effects from the 80mgs?

 

[DeLee]

Oh no I have no plans going off of it.
I can't go back on Bupe - it makes me paranoid, unsocial, worse anxiety etc. and not doing anything for the cravings.
I firmly believe that Methadone is the right choice but its just a matter of finding my right dose! I hope it is!

What I need is a higher dose, after talking to some people and they telling me that
they have had periods of doses where they didn't feel it -
and then being upped and hitting the "sweet spot" where the methadone holds them perfectly.

That is what I hope will happen to me too, just stay on it and fight the cravings until I get my "sweet spot" or "correct dose".

 

[SubDude]

On the bright side, I feel that the drug abusing period of my life is definitely over. I've felt this way for awhile, I have wanted to feel "normal" since quitting bupe two months ago... Withdrawal from bupe hit me really hard this time and this led to me overusing kratom and getting myself into the current situation. I've been deeply reflecting on a lot of the things I have put my body through over this eight year binge and the reasons why, and I've come to terms with the reasons why I did what I did, and am confident in my resolve to move on from here.

Thats great and i'm rooting for your success. But be careful.

I felt like that once in my life and in fact got off everything... opiate/alcohol/weed and all other drugs and was clean for 5 1/2 yrs. Best period of my adult life. The key for me was doing weekly volunteer work at a county rehab/detox clinic. That reminded me how close I was to going back. Long story... short is I got a kidney stone and dr put me on morphine drip in hosp to pass it. I clicked that thing every time it opened up and 2 days later I passed the stone. Went to dope man instead of volunteer clinic after discharge. That was about 17 yrs ago. YUK!!

 

[littlebaggies]

Am I kidding myself?

Hi, I have a question about Bupe:

I have about a year in, banging H, decent quality, roughly 1/2 to 1 g per day. This is my third time trying to come off using bupe. 2 days ago I was in bad w/d from the H and waited as long as I could to take 8 then 4 mg of bupe. I got some H yesterday (about 1/2 g) and split that with my wife, one shot each. The bupe had not taken all the w/d away and I did feel the H a little bit, nothing like normal. Today I've taken nothing. I feel ok right now, not 100% or anything so I'm wondering, is this ok feeling just the residual bupe in my system or have I actually been through the w/d enough that I won't really require anything else from here on out. Oh: I went several days of doing 1 or 2 small shots, feeling some w/d so I guess you could say I tapered a bit before doing the sub 2 days ago. Any thoughts would be welcome.

baggies

 

[emingos]

you still have some of the subs in your system i think the half-life is 24-26 hours if i think correct, and 12mg is a big dose you could use a lower dose (i think) try taking 2mg and then add 1mg every hour till its enough

it dosnt make you high but it do take the wd/s

 

[littlebaggies]

Thanks emingos, my doc put me on 8 mg x 3 daily when I was prescribed the sub. I always thought that was way too high. Now my goal is to get through the w/d and be off sub as soon as possible, and the lowest dose possible.

 

[emingos]

maybe you can take even lower i used to take 1/2-1g of heroin a day and 1mg is fine for me i take 0.5mg mornig and evening

 

[Cane2theLeft]

12mg is a huge dose... you max out at mu agonist effects at 4mg or lower so the only advantage to taking larger doses is a stronger and longer lasting blockade effect. The half-life is 20-70 hours with a mean of 37 hours so assuming those numbers are correct, you will still be receiving the full mu agonist effects for well over 24 hours after your last dose.

It's good that you want to get off of this and all, but if you don't have a plan for how to address your addiction issues once you are, you're just going to have put yourself through A LOT of bullshit and misery for absolutely nothing and likely go right back. Everyone tells themselves that if they can just get through the withdrawal period that they'll figure it out and be fine but very, very few are.

I'm going to send this to the progress mega thread.

 

[Cam520]

Starting Suboxone tomorrow...

Hello,

I know I rarely post here, but I lurk often. A brief background of me...I am a 30 year old male professional who after herniating a disc working out 2 years ago started my opiate journey with norcos. The past two years I have quit multiple times only to return to using... the hard part being my brother is a pain patient and has tons of oxycontin/oxycodone/dialudid/hydromorphone.. all prescribed..so I get it so easily that its hard to stay away for long because we all know how much we enjoy these things.

I have never developed anything I would call serious by this sites standards.. going as far as maybe 160mg daily oxy habit for a month or two at a time...Ill quit and go through w/d for a week or two or more and then the PAWS depression will get to me and Ill start it again. Obviously this has been detremental to my family and work performance on occasions...(married with two young children) and before I get myself in REAL danger I am going to stop. Prior to my disc problem I had not dabbled in drugs at all.

I am sick to death of going through w/d and dont really crave opiates anymore.. I crave being my old self and feeling normal... I miss my old self, I miss sports.. I miss not thinking about getting more opiates..

So I have decided to visit a Suboxone doctor tomorrow morning at 830... I should be around the 24 hour mark of no opiates.. so beginning of withdrawals, and I just wanted to ask any advice..suggestions.. comments.. whatever would be great.

Thank you all for all you do here... this site has been a real education for me in a world where I previously thought drug users were scumbags and addiction was a joke. Well I have been shown otherwise..

So any suggestions for me tomorrow?

 

[amapola]

Hey Cam250,

I'm going to merge this thread of yours into the OD Progress Mega Thread. It is an excellent resource that hasn't had much action lately but I think you will really benefit from what has been a tight knit place for support that isn't as technical as most of OD but not as nontechnical as most of TDS. Feel free to post updates during your journey and hopeful others are in similar situations or who have been in the past will chime in.

Best of Luck!

 

[OEandricearoni]

Hello,

I know I rarely post here, but I lurk often. A brief background of me...I am a 30 year old male professional who after herniating a disc working out 2 years ago started my opiate journey with norcos. The past two years I have quit multiple times only to return to using... the hard part being my brother is a pain patient and has tons of oxycontin/oxycodone/dialudid/hydromorphone.. all prescribed..so I get it so easily that its hard to stay away for long because we all know how much we enjoy these things.

I have never developed anything I would call serious by this sites standards.. going as far as maybe 160mg daily oxy habit for a month or two at a time...Ill quit and go through w/d for a week or two or more and then the PAWS depression will get to me and Ill start it again. Obviously this has been detremental to my family and work performance on occasions...(married with two young children) and before I get myself in REAL danger I am going to stop. Prior to my disc problem I had not dabbled in drugs at all.

I am sick to death of going through w/d and dont really crave opiates anymore.. I crave being my old self and feeling normal... I miss my old self, I miss sports.. I miss not thinking about getting more opiates..

So I have decided to visit a Suboxone doctor tomorrow morning at 830... I should be around the 24 hour mark of no opiates.. so beginning of withdrawals, and I just wanted to ask any advice..suggestions.. comments.. whatever would be great.

Thank you all for all you do here... this site has been a real education for me in a world where I previously thought drug users were scumbags and addiction was a joke. Well I have been shown otherwise..

So any suggestions for me tomorrow?

I've been taking suboxone for about 2 years now. I can tell you it's a great thing for getting your life back to normal. You don't have to worry about having drugs so you dont go into w/d all the time, which is great. The problem with it is eventually you will have to quit it. That's the hard part. I'd suggest trying not to stay on the sub for a long time. I regret having been on it as long as i have because it isn't easy for me to quit. Most doctors who prescribe suboxone will try to keep you on it as long as possible, and they also overprescribe it pretty often. I'd suggest trying to take like half what your doctor prescribes you and see how you feel. If it holds you(you dont feel any withdrawal symptoms or anything) then stay at that dose. My doctor prescribed me 16mg a day, and i could get by on 4-6. This is in a way a good thing because it leaves you with a lot of extra in case anything happens and you miss an appointment, but a bad thing for people who take the amount the doc prescribes and end up having to taper down from a huge dose when they want to quit. If you can, I'd say stay on the suboxone no longer than 6 months. I'm having a really hard time quitting it after 2 years. Hopefully you will get some other replies, I'm sure there's people on the site who can give you better advice than I can. This is all based on my opinion and experiences, which are different for everyone.

Anyway, good luck man. Getting on the suboxone is a great first step to getting off of opiates for good. Hopefully you will find your life improving greatly after starting the sub.

 

[Pegasus]

^Well said. Bupe is a very good step forward, I encourage you to go through with it.