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the bluelight preconception, pregnancy and parenting l337ness thread

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holy shit, that's brilliant! excellent stuff, lacey. thanks for the update, mate. :) <3

i can so see ff being to the total opposite. she'd do anything the docs recommend. chinese culture is to oblige completely to the authority figure and they get comfort in doing that.
 
I never really wanted children. I was in a relationship with a BLR and was addicted to norco when I found out I was pregnant. Also, I was 37. I ended up having a miscarriage and then detoxed. Then got pregnant again, of course not planned, at 16 weeks went in for the amnio because I was 39, and discovered that the fetus was in the process of terminating itself. There was something wrong with it and the amnio fluid was almost gone. Ended up having a dnc. Then got pregnant again and had another miscarriage. Spoke with a fertility doctor and they said I was to old to get pregnant. So now I am 40 and single, no kids. Wondering who in the hell is gonna take care of me when I am old.

Conrats on your baby Lacey.
 
Congrats on the baby, Lacey!

TINK said:
I never really wanted children. I was in a relationship with a BLR and was addicted to norco when I found out I was pregnant. Also, I was 37. I ended up having a miscarriage and then detoxed. Then got pregnant again, of course not planned, at 16 weeks went in for the amnio because I was 39, and discovered that the fetus was in the process of terminating itself. There was something wrong with it and the amnio fluid was almost gone. Ended up having a dnc. Then got pregnant again and had another miscarriage. Spoke with a fertility doctor and they said I was to old to get pregnant. So now I am 40 and single, no kids. Wondering who in the hell is gonna take care of me when I am old.
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I'm sorry to hear this, but on the bright side: You're not too old to adopt!
 
CONGRATS LACEY!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

After that I gotta say I can do anything yall, for real I feel fucking GREAT!

Later i found out that at the hospital i had him in, 96% of the women who give birth there have an epidural, so I felt pretty accomplished and it also explained why when i was already PUSHING HIM OUT the doctor was STILL trying to get me to take the epidural! she musta asked me like 30 times, word bond, they kept telling me "we can still do an epidural, its available to you, jus tletting you know!" over and over...i was just like bitch get out my face, im busy!!
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I love that!!
 
Congrats lacey!! So happy for you and your little guy <3 :)


TINK, I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriages hun, but thank you for sharing that with us <3
As addictivepersona said, is adoption a possibility for you?
 
At the end of this year, my husband and I will be starting to try for children. In the meantime, I'm improving my diet and getting into a regular exercise routine.

Does anyone have some advice on what I should be doing in the coming year, such as vitamins, specific foods, etc?
 
aislinnna said:
At the end of this year, my husband and I will be starting to try for children. In the meantime, I'm improving my diet and getting into a regular exercise routine.

Does anyone have some advice on what I should be doing in the coming year, such as vitamins, specific foods, etc?
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all you need is elevit
http://www.elevit.com.au/default.aspx

when trying to conceive, try to make sure you're BOTH abstaining from any drugs (legal or not). i stopped drinking entirely for close to two months when i knocked her up.

good luck!
 
Lacey, props to you for doing it natural, too bad the staff weren't more supportive of your decision. You did it though and that's what matters. Congratulations and enjoy your new lil man.
 
when trying to conceive, try to make sure you're BOTH abstaining from any drugs (legal or not). i stopped drinking entirely for close to two months when i knocked her up.
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lol my husband and i tripped on acid and did ecstasy the weekend we conceived oops
 
addictivepersona said:
^ Browse around the Healthy Living forum and use the search engine in that forum and I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for. There is a ton of information over there.
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Yep for sure, there is heeeaps of info in HL (and even SLR to some extent) re: pregnancy, conception, health etc.

aislinna, this is really exciting to hear and I wish you and your husband the best of luck. If everything goes smoothly for me and my partner we will be in the same boat as you guys at the end of 2011 :)
Oh and yes I would definitely also recommend taking a pre-conception multivitamin, starting a few months before you're actually planning to conceive. Things like folic acid (and other stuff that I can't recall right now) are preferable to be in higher amounts in your body before the baby is actually conceived so yeah you should try to begin the multivitamin a few months before conception.
 
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I've heard somewhat mixed reviews but The Business of Being Born is on Netflix instant watch right now for anyone who's interested. It's just like it sounds, the commodification of the hospital to bear children in and how it affects the entire experience.
 
Jaysus Lacey, that sounds HORRIBLE :( I think we're a little more fortunate in hospitals here in Australia - of course there are the horror stories, but i think that comes down to the doctor. Most of the womens' hospitals (do they have specific womans' hospitals that specialise in birth, etc in the US? Sorry if I sound ignorant :\) have birthing suites with over-sized baths (for water births), and other amenities - i really don't think things like epidurals, etc are forced on women so much. They're definitely given the option, but it sounds a lot worse over there.

I'm taking extra multi-vitamins now with a folate supplement, i've stopped smoking (almost 1 week!) and once my labyrinthitis clears up, will be able to properly exercise again - then we can really start to make babies (hopefully) :D
 
Congrats Lacey <3 <3 I'm so happy for you

And same to everyone else trying or expecting :)

Cyc said:
As much as I try, I can't seem to develop a taste for the Kool-aid you parents are drinking.

In my mind, nothing separates my theoretical child, from any other child. I always thought I might adopt a child I like, because there's lots of children I don't like.. and realistically, mine could turn out to be one of them.

I think there's something wrong with me. I just don't get it. :(

I mean, what will make my kid any better, or more special than anyone else's? Sure, my partner and I are both free of allergies, physical/mental limitations or any other major congenital problems that would complicate the quality of a child's life. So a part of me thinks if our genetic contribution passes inspection, we should go ahead and make a baby. You know, for the good of mankind.. or something. But I've yet to meet a parent who even considered their genetic stock first. So that can't really be it either. So what is it?

The conclusion I've come to is probably the last one I would have come to naturally. That is, the idea of creating a smaller person in my own image. The idea strikes me as freakish, and maniacally self-centred at its very core, yet the idea of separating my ego from my child's identity seems to be contrary to what every parent around me is doing.

When I ask for an explanation from parents, for them to spell out how this all makes sense in their heads, I'm met with everything ranging from hostility, to bafflement. Paradoxically, I've even been called selfish for not having children, while parents see themselves as selfless. Yet, everything I've observed makes me think that having a child is almost entirely about the parents' feelings and priorities.

Someone should write a book, carefully pathologizing the parental mindset. I'd buy one.
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^ I know how you feel. It's weird to be a minority in that respect :\ Sometimes I worry that I'll have a hard time finding a long term S\O because I have no desire to procreate, and it seems like most people want that at some point in their life :( I am only 22 and I know I have a lot of life ahead of me, but it still sucks getting into relationships when I KNOW the guy eventually wants kids so it's pretty much eventually going to be doomed.

Like Neo said, that parental instinct comes naturally for some people, not for others, and I guess it can't really be explained.

One thing I'd like to know from all the ladies who have experienced pregnancy: how hormonal did you get, in terms of your moodiness and irrationality and such??

The reason I ask is because my roommate is 12 weeks along, and lately she's been really bitchy, and IMO, kind of unreasonable. However, I do realize her body is going through a lot of changes and she's uncomfortable a lot and stuff, so I don't want to be harsh in judging her behavior.

She just seems to be really ignorant to how her pregnancy has changed our lifestyles. Me and my other roommate are no longer allowed to smoke in our living room, which is a minor annoyance but nothing unreasonable because I can understand her not wanting second hand smoke. But she has never even thanked us or anything, and I just think if MY personal life choice affected everyone around me I'd be a little more grateful. And she makes little bitchy comments or whatever if my other roommate or I smoke in our bedrooms and she can happen to smell it out in the hallway. I mean, if the door is shut I don't think it's that big of a deal, and I pay a third of the rent so I think I should be able to do what I want in my room.

Then there's always just her general attitude, constantly complaining and getting snappy over little, trivial things. She has this horrible thing about saying really bitchy things in non-direct ways so that you can't really call her out. Like the other day, she's like "So, I don't know what happened to my Ramen noodles, someone must have taken them"...it's a well known fact that our other roommate hates Ramen so she basically just accused ME of doing, but didn't have the balls just to ask me directly. I just know that if it's this bad at 12 weeks that it can only get worse :|

I want to be sympathetic but my odd un-maternal nature makes it really hard for me to. I can't fathom the idea of wanting to be pregnant, so when people make that choice I find it hard to excuse the moody behavior. But I feel really bad about that :( I don't say anything rude to her, I just turn the other cheek but I feel bad for all the resentment I'm building towards her.

Any advice?
 
Samadhi said:
Jaysus Lacey, that sounds HORRIBLE :( I think we're a little more fortunate in hospitals here in Australia - of course there are the horror stories, but i think that comes down to the doctor. Most of the womens' hospitals (do they have specific womans' hospitals that specialise in birth, etc in the US? Sorry if I sound ignorant :\) have birthing suites with over-sized baths (for water births), and other amenities - i really don't think things like epidurals, etc are forced on women so much. They're definitely given the option, but it sounds a lot worse over there.
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Yes we do have these all over the place. They sound exactly the same.
 
ThaiDie - I am 30 and have yet to truly feel I am on any kind of timetable. So far I am childless by choice. I was quite concentrated in my career in my 20s and if the time is ever right for me, I will feel totally ready. The reason your roommate is flipping over smoking is probably because secondhand smoke is bad for everyone. I have smoked in the past (currently in full-blown relapse mode) but rarely, if ever, in my house. My roommate is a total abstainer from smoking and if I have a heavy smoking day (which will occur under stress) it drives her nuts if my coat even smells like cigs. It drives me nuts too... damned nicotine. My best advice is to wait for the right situation and, of course, to abstain from alcohol/drugs when you do try to conceive.

As for roomie, early pregnancy is usually the time when the woman is most consistently nauseated and can actually drop weight from not being able to keep down food. Passive-aggressive behavior is never good, though... be patient. She will be glowing in no time.

LACEY! I am so happy for you <3 I'd love to see a pic of the little one.

Cyc, you and I have only child syndrome in common. I think that may have something to do with my lack of burning desire to be a parent.

My friend is giving birth today and roomie will be an aunt (again) so we're pretty happy. I believe they are at the birthing center now, which, Lacey, you would LOVE. She's also doing it without drugs. My roommate is videotaping the ENTIRE thing at her sister's request, which would probably make me pass out - I'll be there for the non-gory part. ;) We are all supportive of her decision to be a single mom and not have the dad in the child's life. She's super-responsible and will be a wonderful mom. <3

Congrats to all the Bluelight parents/friends of parents.
 
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