Waking up with a palm tree in your bedroom huh? Damn, that's pretty funny.
But I know these things can only be humorous to an outside party. When I wake up naked, next to a fat woman, whom also happens to be naked and asleep with a big smile on her face, I know some things must have happened. I just can't remember them.
It's a terrible feeling trying to piece things together all morning, only to find all of my money, benzos and booze gone. I have had alot of blackouts in my day but haven't really had one in at least a year.....Until recently. I have been drinking alot lately, reverting to my days of old. But booze alone doesn't give me too bad a blackouts. Though last week I had a gnarly night.
It all started early in the morning with a bottle of wine. Then another one. Then a few beers. I walk down to the store to get some smokes aaaaaand. Fuck it/why not? A forty of 211. I ended up drinking it with some homeless chick who was running from the law, behind some bar. After that, I entered the bar ordered a beer and.............blackout i guess.
Well, from what my cousin told me whom had showed up at said bar, I got kicked out for just being drunk in general. We went to some honkytonk down the street and had a few rounds. As the bar started to get crowded I was singing karoake. Or rather rapping karoake. My cousin told me I kept picking these rap songs from the book and rapping along whilst doing the whole hip-hop type movements/dancing. I don't even listen to rap. Well, everyone in the bar was getting pretty pissed off at me I guess and I was becoming a little hostile.
Rapping in a honkytonk. fuck.
I was told I had also landed a job interview at some autoshop? And I was hitting on the cute bartender while her boyfriend was there. I was told he was very large.
My cousin prepped a shot of a little meth and hit me up. I remember what happened after that. That's it.
Since that night I have only had 2 beers and a few glasses of wine.
Oh and this is not my black out, but my good buddy. I will always remember this:
My friend "B" would occasionally take too many of his ambien when he was drunk. One night he was out with his gf drinking. When he got back he decided to have a couple of these sleep aids so he could fall to rest. Well, about 2 hours later, I smell smoke coming from his room. I open his door as a HUGE plume of black hot smoke envelop my body.
He had dragged the BBQ into his room, and decided to have some steak. I walk in to see him passed out on the floor, while there are 4 very charred pieces of meat on the grill, and a huge hunk of flaming wood just beneath the grill. He was using the firewood from outside. The entire house was full of smoke.
At the time it was very frightning, and frustrating. B did not remember a single thing. He could have burned us to the ground.
Blacking out is the sign of a very hard/Bad drug that should not be messed with. Though as I am typing this. It all sounds fuckin hilarious.