Thats copper slangtwocing
Aye go for it man, I'm pretty sure this macbook must have a built in mic somewhere. Gies some patter to shout & I'll let you hear how it's supposed to be said. Or I'll mumble incoherently into the microphone, you won't know the difference anyway so it won't matter.
The good thing about here is, you go far north in England & they'll nick your car to sell it. Go further north to around the Glasgow area & we'll just smash your car up for a laugh. Go even further north past Glasgow & cunts will burn you at the stake for making lumps of metal move with witchcraft.
Fanny like a burst couch - an unsightly vagina
^ Badly packed kebab
"Would ye lyk tae tek yer face fer a shaite?" amongst my lovely friends. I think it means go away.
gadge/gadgie - man (generally one older than you)
Talking ´oarie / oary´- talking in slang and rough instead of using proper words, e.g. ken, nut, eh, aye etc.
Saw a fit fit bird from behind while driving around in the white van and the driver lent out the window and went 'oi oi', when she tuned round he went 'uurrrgggghhh!!!! front munt!'.
Good one I thought.