IntergalacticMagic
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2008
- Messages
- 167
Guacamole May be the Answer!
Ive only had bad constipation once, and it was recently so I remember the pain... and the agony very, very, well.
I have never had opiate constipation though, and I understand that it is in a league of its own, however, I may have a remedy regardless of it being a cure-all.
Avocados have a crazy amount of fiber and are well known to give people "good poops" (hate the phrase but it says it all).
Fortunately Avocados are the main ingredient in Guacamole. Does anyone like guacamole by chance? Here is a recipe that you can savor on any drug beyond uppers.
**Intergalatic's Guacamole Recipe**
Avocados 2 or 2+ (the world's healthiest fruit)
1> cut them in half down the long way
>2> discard the seed (or save it to grow a tree), then scope out creamy avocado with a spoon
Tomato mince them up really fine, or make them chuncky. I feel everyone likes tomatos a bit different so to each their own. Its difficult to gauge how much and how little. Cut the tomato up and then wait for the next step.
Onion Not everyones favorite I know, however, it is alot of peoples favorite too. Again mince these up or make a pile of chunks- prepare it for the people who want to eat it. Id cut up between 1/4 and 2/3s of an onion.
Mix the tomatos and the onions together and slowly rain them down on your avocado until the top is sprinkled lightly. Mix them together with a spoon until you see a nice mix of colors. If you feel there is too much green add some more of your mix.
Now for the spices...
Garlic Whatever garlic you have works. You just want to sprinkle it ontop of the mashed avocado like you would any other dish. Dont add too much because you can always add more later... but you cant, you know.
Cumin Spice (not seeds) Cumin spice always reminds me of the smell/taste that those taco seasoning packets contain/add to taco meat. It adds a subtle but wonderful taste at the end of the mouth savoring flavor. Use a pinch or so per avocado. Again, dont over do it.
Cilantro This herb? It tastes like an alpine mountain smells - fresh. It adds a crucial and light burst of clarity to each and every flavor's taste. Go light but make sure each bight has a tiny bit. Dice them.
Lime/Lemon Take a 1/4 of which ever one of these two you prefer and squeeze it over your bowl.
Salt you have already added garlic so dont go crazy. However, incase you never quite thought about it, or put it into words, I have always felt that salt brings out the flavor a bit. Its kinda like getting all your flavors a bit drunk and putting them into a room together. Dont go crazy on it because then it just ruins the dish.
Refrigerator there is the word - meld - that specifically means to let your flavors soak into each other. Guac needs to meld for a bit. Its like, the salt got all your flavors drunk, now they need to fuck. Anyways, cover your bowl with some of that plastic wrap that gets all sticky (and gets fucking annoying sometimes) and then stick it in the fridge next to all those dead bodies.
Wait 30 minutes... talk to your friend ron, or jeremy, or just call your uncle jerry and then rejoice with your wonderful bowl of intestine plowing guacamole prepared exactly how you wanted it.
I really dont know if that holds a candle to the dude who said he hadnt shat in 2 weeks, but fuck dude, this shit grows on trees.
Peace be with you all.
Ive only had bad constipation once, and it was recently so I remember the pain... and the agony very, very, well.
I have never had opiate constipation though, and I understand that it is in a league of its own, however, I may have a remedy regardless of it being a cure-all.
Avocados have a crazy amount of fiber and are well known to give people "good poops" (hate the phrase but it says it all).
Fortunately Avocados are the main ingredient in Guacamole. Does anyone like guacamole by chance? Here is a recipe that you can savor on any drug beyond uppers.
**Intergalatic's Guacamole Recipe**
Avocados 2 or 2+ (the world's healthiest fruit)
1> cut them in half down the long way
>2> discard the seed (or save it to grow a tree), then scope out creamy avocado with a spoon
Tomato mince them up really fine, or make them chuncky. I feel everyone likes tomatos a bit different so to each their own. Its difficult to gauge how much and how little. Cut the tomato up and then wait for the next step.
Onion Not everyones favorite I know, however, it is alot of peoples favorite too. Again mince these up or make a pile of chunks- prepare it for the people who want to eat it. Id cut up between 1/4 and 2/3s of an onion.
Mix the tomatos and the onions together and slowly rain them down on your avocado until the top is sprinkled lightly. Mix them together with a spoon until you see a nice mix of colors. If you feel there is too much green add some more of your mix.
Now for the spices...
Garlic Whatever garlic you have works. You just want to sprinkle it ontop of the mashed avocado like you would any other dish. Dont add too much because you can always add more later... but you cant, you know.
Cumin Spice (not seeds) Cumin spice always reminds me of the smell/taste that those taco seasoning packets contain/add to taco meat. It adds a subtle but wonderful taste at the end of the mouth savoring flavor. Use a pinch or so per avocado. Again, dont over do it.
Cilantro This herb? It tastes like an alpine mountain smells - fresh. It adds a crucial and light burst of clarity to each and every flavor's taste. Go light but make sure each bight has a tiny bit. Dice them.
Lime/Lemon Take a 1/4 of which ever one of these two you prefer and squeeze it over your bowl.
Salt you have already added garlic so dont go crazy. However, incase you never quite thought about it, or put it into words, I have always felt that salt brings out the flavor a bit. Its kinda like getting all your flavors a bit drunk and putting them into a room together. Dont go crazy on it because then it just ruins the dish.
Refrigerator there is the word - meld - that specifically means to let your flavors soak into each other. Guac needs to meld for a bit. Its like, the salt got all your flavors drunk, now they need to fuck. Anyways, cover your bowl with some of that plastic wrap that gets all sticky (and gets fucking annoying sometimes) and then stick it in the fridge next to all those dead bodies.
Wait 30 minutes... talk to your friend ron, or jeremy, or just call your uncle jerry and then rejoice with your wonderful bowl of intestine plowing guacamole prepared exactly how you wanted it.
I really dont know if that holds a candle to the dude who said he hadnt shat in 2 weeks, but fuck dude, this shit grows on trees.
Peace be with you all.