Tapering off of poppy pods

[HamClamp]

Hey Ham,

I hope you are doing well. Today was good for me, felt pretty normal after a good night of sleep. I weighed it out in the lab today, and I am under 5 grams per day! The rest of the taper will be slow and easy (hopefully) in comparison. The weekend was absolutely terrible, but things look better now.

I ordered some passion flower extract based on your endorsement, I hope it is a decent brand.

mlk, i feel the same way about opiates. If I have learned one thing from all of this nonsense, it is that all or nothing for me as well. It is not something that I can use occasionally and forget...I can't be trusted. I worry about the fact that I will now want it, always.

Best to all.

Wow you're right down to the end now Podster! 5g is great! Take it slow and easy and we'll make it.

Don't be afraid of the passionflower. I really don't think a person can hurt themselves with it. I loaded up on it before bed and ended up falling asleep in my chair. No hangover and I've never heard of anyone having any side effects. Good stuff! If you feel up to it could you post the ingredients? What strength, how many mg. per cap, etc? I'm just curious as to what you ended up with.

"I can't be trusted" Yeah now THERE is an honest statement, huh? Well-said and I think I'll adopt that statement as my own as it certainly applies to me as well.

You're doing great- stay the course!

 

[HamClamp]

Last sub dose will be Monday morning then I'm going to detox, cold turkey. So I'm going to try to taper as low as I can before then to make it less painful.

Hang tough Carl. I'll be rootin' for you over here. Your motivation will return once you're past this crap. Opiates used to help me get moving. In the end, like you, they held me back. Eventually it will all come back.

Hang tough and keep us posted as things progress. You don't have to go through it alone. We're all in this mess together.

Peace.

 

[HamClamp]

Yep Bo I'm at 7.5g 2x/day. Yesterday it didn't even come close to holding me. Had to start on the Lope last night. I felt better this morning than I did yesterday and I actually felt my dose this morning so that's good news. One more day at this level then another drop. I'll be ready by then. Don't get me wrong- when I say I felt bad I was still functional. Worked no problem (just mind EVERY fart!) and still had a small appetite.

I think I mis-calculated the potency, or lack thereof, of these shitty pods. My previous tapers were much easier. I think the 7.5g I'm on now is probably closer to 4 or 5 of the good pods prior to these. That's okay- I am owed at least this small amount of discomfort and really, as long as I can make it through work I'm content.

Damn last night was the longest night of my life. I did, howvere, get a ton of cleaning done! That nervous energy, when the clock refuses to move, wow... It is amazing how quickly the hours (and days, weeks, and months, hell even years) passed by when loaded. Now? It feels like the time/space continuum has been horribly warped. I will, by the end of this, have the cleanest house, garage, barn, and property on the planet!

You guys and gls are all doing so good and it really inspires me. I'm SO proud of all of us.

So another day is upon us. Lets get through this.

Peace to all.

 

[mlk_2900]

Yep Bo I'm at 7.5g 2x/day. Yesterday it didn't even come close to holding me. Had to start on the Lope last night. I felt better this morning than I did yesterday and I actually felt my dose this morning so that's good news. One more day at this level then another drop. I'll be ready by then. Don't get me wrong- when I say I felt bad I was still functional. Worked no problem (just mind EVERY fart!) and still had a small appetite.

I think I mis-calculated the potency, or lack thereof, of these shitty pods. My previous tapers were much easier. I think the 7.5g I'm on now is probably closer to 4 or 5 of the good pods prior to these. That's okay- I am owed at least this small amount of discomfort and really, as long as I can make it through work I'm content.

Damn last night was the longest night of my life. I did, howvere, get a ton of cleaning done! That nervous energy, when the clock refuses to move, wow... It is amazing how quickly the hours (and days, weeks, and months, hell even years) passed by when loaded. Now? It feels like the time/space continuum has been horribly warped. I will, by the end of this, have the cleanest house, garage, barn, and property on the planet!

You guys and gls are all doing so good and it really inspires me. I'm SO proud of all of us.

So another day is upon us. Lets get through this.

Peace to all.

The lack of potency with the pods out there now is crazy!! I think that is what threw me into such a hard time back a couple weeks ago when I could not get stable. That coupled with the prices, if I didn't already want to quit before, that would certainly leave me with no desire to continue this mess.

Oh yes, time crawling is the worst. At least you are using that nervous energy to clean. I, on the other hand, usually end up walking laps around my kitchen and living room, which is incredibly unproductive.

Glad this morning is a bit better than yesterday morning! Hopefully that means you are stabilizing a bit at this dose, which I know just means it time for a drop again, but still good to be stable first before dropping.

I think I will look up the passionflower as well. I have been doing valerian root and melatonin at night, but the passionflower sounds like it works great!

 

[Help me please]

School I've kind of fucked myself in. It's been immensely disappointing. I can't even tell you why I did bad. I just don't have the motivation and drugs don't give it to me. I used to be productive on opiates, but now I'm just content if I'm living through the day.

Unfortunately this type of thinking doesn't allow you to actually progress forward in any way. Even if I have things to do I barely have any motivation to get out of bed every morning and I wait until the last minute to get up. I just feel like there's nothing that I want to get out of bed for and the only reason I do is so I don't lose my job.


Last sub dose will be Monday morning then I'm going to detox, cold turkey. So I'm going to try to taper as low as I can before then to make it less painful.


I've seen some of your posts on here. How's everything going with your morphine taper?

Carl, I sent you a PM rather than post here on Ham's thread.

 

[Help me please]

Ham are you doing the lope in doses for the runs or WD help? How was your sleep last night? Oh, I see you cleaned so you did not sleep then? Was it just insomnia or that horrible can't sit still thing? I found myself rocking and then getting up and walking in a circle and sitting down to rock again. It was such a weird feeling!

 

[HamClamp]

Ham are you doing the lope in doses for the runs or WD help? How was your sleep last night? Oh, I see you cleaned so you did not sleep then? Was it just insomnia or that horrible can't sit still thing? I found myself rocking and then getting up and walking in a circle and sitting down to rock again. It was such a weird feeling!

I'm taking the Lope for both. Honestly it doesn't seem to be doing much of anything. I've been taking 12mg. morning and night.

I slept pretty good last night. My cleaning spree was just me burning off nervous energy in the evening. As I said time has begun to really drag on now that I'm not loaded. I just could not sit still so I figured I'd try to be productive rather than just pacing around.

************

Hey- don't worry about using this thread to talk. I've got no problem at all. In fact the more the merrier as we're all in the same boat. There's quite a few people tapering their drugs of choice (drug of choices?) here so don't be bashful!

**************

Wow rough day. I feel like I'm full-blown cold turkey. By mid-afternoon I was freezing, sneezing, running sweat, horrible cramping runs, and pretty disoriented from the heat, so I had to call it a half-day and head for the house. This was totally unexpected.

As I mentioned earlier I think I might have not accurately converted my dose from the good pods to these crappy weak pods because, as I said, I feel like I'm straight-up cold turkey. It's been getting progressively worse rather than better.

Previous tapers, using known pod stock, were more or less painless. Sure, they were uncomfortable, but nothing more than an inconvenience. I did get some relief upon taking my evening dose but I doubt it is gonna hold me until morning. I'm gonna step up on the lope and I might have to sit a couple extra days at this dose. I actually feel like I need to increase but I'm gonna avoid that if at all possible. I might, though, have to sit here for a couple extra days. We'll see. I can't be blowing out of work like I did today.

Well there it is- halfway through another day. This has been the roughest one yet. I'm feeling really frustrated right now as I planned this so carefully and things should be going a lot smoother right now. I'm gonna be really bummed if I have to sit here at this dose for extra days but I need to get my head around the fact that I just might end up having to do just that. Oh well things could sure be a lot worse I guess.

Hang in there taperers and kickers. We'll get through this!

 

[podster1985]

Bo, Main symptoms right now are occasional hot flashes, goosebumbs, intermittent RLS and general depression/inability to accomplish basic tasks. The last symptom could be attributable to insomnia. I slept alright the monday night with the help of barbituates, but last night was shit. I woke up at 4 AM and could not go back to sleep. This is what happened over the weekend. So I am averaging about 6 hrs, but those 6 hrs are poor quality, sometimes half-sleep.

Basically, what I think occurred was that I was somewhere around 12 G last thursday before I started measuring my precise doses, and accidentally made a huge jump down to about 7 on friday. The weekend was hell with RLS, restlessness, emotional instability. Not sleeping does seem to be the worst part. I bought a bunch of 'dietary supplements' to help with this: kava, valerian/phenibut, passion flower, melatonin, kratom. I plan to try one at a time until i get something useful. I took a large dose of kava a few hours ago. It is pleasant albeit a bit overpowering right now....dont know if i can sleep on it. Also, I have been using alcohol rather liberally in the evenings (which can put me out for a few hours but leaves me feeling like shit when I wake up.) I will let ya'll know what works best for me.

Help, I understand exactly what you mean about the walking in circles. I think it is just extra nervous energy springing from our no-longer depressed systems. I bet if you summed it up, I have walked 10 miles in the past 4 days without leaving my tiny apartment. It will pass soon and you will start to feel better.

Ham, buddy, I ordered the passionflower off amazon and have not received it yet. it is a two ounce bottle of extract, and I do not have anymore info than that. It's a big jump you have coming tomorrow. Best wishes, and remember that we are here with you. These are shit pods, I am sure that we are already down to a small fraction of the dope we were eating back in May. Pain now, is taking the burden off for later. We already have the advantage in this battle. Also, thank you for generously sharing this thread.

Good luck to all you psychic warriors.

 

[podster1985]

Oh sorry Ham, i guess your next jump is not tomorrow. Best of luck anyway as it seems to take a few days to feel a the last drop. Hope you get some sleep and feel better.

 

[Help me please]

Oh sorry Ham, i guess your next jump is not tomorrow. Best of luck anyway as it seems to take a few days to feel a the last drop. Hope you get some sleep and feel better.

Podster I am doing a very slow taper if you can call it that. I am on prescribed opiates from a pain dr and I insisted I wanted off of them without understanding what he meant when he said I'd get "sick". The first drop was from 40 mg oxymorphone and up to 60 mg norco a day. I went to 15 mg morphine IR every 8 hours which of course caused severe WD's. I have no intention of going through that again so I guess I am waiting till next week to see what the dr wants me to do next!

I am a wuss and admit it. I can't handle stress or any of the symptoms of WD. I debated suicide last month and that's something I never think about!

Ham...Thanks!

 

[podster1985]

Hey Hemp,

I am really sorry, I admit that my concentration has not been great the past few days. I thought you were still on your taper. That was a huge drop! I do not think you are a wuss in any way. Tell your doctor to be more reasonable. I am 25 years old, just a stupid kid. You have legitimate reason to be on doctor prescribed opiates, rather that getting addicted to homemade junk for no good reason like me. And the stress and symptoms of WD have to be the closest thing to hell on earth. I am glad you got over the suicidal feelings. Remember that you have friends here if you ever need to talk to somebody.

 

[Help me please]

Hey Hemp,

I am really sorry, I admit that my concentration has not been great the past few days. I thought you were still on your taper. That was a huge drop! I do not think you are a wuss in any way. Tell your doctor to be more reasonable. I am 25 years old, just a stupid kid. You have legitimate reason to be on doctor prescribed opiates, rather that getting addicted to homemade junk for no good reason like me. And the stress and symptoms of WD have to be the closest thing to hell on earth. I am glad you got over the suicidal feelings. Remember that you have friends here if you ever need to talk to somebody.

Thanks Podster. It was my fault that he dropped me so much. He has a new thing with patients having to bring in a copy of their med lists. I forgot so was writing it from my head. I put down the oxymorphone and norco but didn't put down the 60 mg a day average of norco. He knew that I normally wasn't using much of the norco because I only filled my monthly scripts about every other month or so. He assumed I wasn't taking much. So when the doctor figured it all up (and I was insisting I wanted off completely now) he wound up shorting me a bit too much. It was just before the 4th of July weekend and his hours were short so I had to wait 2 days to get hold of him. He upped the morphine to 30 mg, every 8 hours and added the clonidine patches which were a life saver! I admit I am very gun shy at the moment. I still want off the pills.

Any idea how 90 mg or morphine per day stacks up to the pods you all take? I'm just curious from a WD stand point. How the dosages compare...

 

[HamClamp]

Damn- 36mg of lope yesterday and still having runs. Either I've got some bad lope or I horribly messed up in converting my dosage with these weak pods. I can't imagine dropping again tomorrow as I'm still having pretty intense w/d's. I really think I need to sit here for another day or two. Dman it! If I could afforsd a few days off of work I'd just jump as I feel so shitty I don't think it would make a difference. I felt like throwing in the towel a dozen times yesterday but I'm more determined today. I'm hanging in there.

Hope all you good guys and gals are hanging in there!

***************

Addendum: A couple hours later and I'm feeling much more human. I'm finally starting to stabilize at this dose I think. I hit the lope hard first thing this morning (20mg) and dosed about an hour later. I could feel it, albeit very slightly, and that's a good sign as that means I'm finally catching up or stablizing. I really think I'm gonna tack an extra day on, though, and put off tomorrows drop for one extra day. I just can't afford to miss any more work. I'm gonna be so far behind as it is from missing half a day yesterday.

Podster: No worries pal - it's hard to keep track of the days for sure. These days go by in a foggy blur.

So you ordered a passionflower tincture. Tinctures tend to be expensive but they work very quickly. I have some passionflower tintcure here and 2-3 droppers full, held under my tongue as long as I can stand the burn, definitely have a relaxing effect. You just might be pleasantly surprised at how effective it is for anxiety and sleep. Keep us posted as to how it works out for you please.

I like what you said about how we're feeling the pain now saves us from having to deal with it later. That concept REALLY helped me out last night as I was in a really bad space. Thanks for those very wise words.

I also think you are onto something regarding how low our dose truly is nowadays due to these crappy pods. I'm guessing that my 7.5g dose is about equal to a 2g dose (if that!) of the wickedly powerful pods from May and previously. Again another inspirational positive thought. Thank you thank you thank you!

Hemp! No more of that suicidal stuff- you are SO valuable and you bring so much comfort to so many people! Since I've begun to get to know you I feel like I have a guardian angel sitting on my shoulder whispering positive words into my ear. I am so glad you recognise the futility of such thoughts as you truly are a treasure to so many people.

Okay off to work. I'm as ready as I'm gonna me. I'll be too busy to be depressed so that's always a good thing. Hang in there everybody. Every day is another day closer to the freedom. Lets kick this damn addiction in the ass.

Peace.

 

[mlk_2900]

Hemp, wow that was a huge drop you took before! I don't blame you in being a bit scared of withdrawals after that. I agree no more suicide thoughts, those here and all around you love you and you are far too valuable. But I also do somewhat understand the thoughts of suicide, when I was having a rough spot a couple of weeks ago I can't say the thought didn't enter my mind and it isn't something I ever think about either, but I felt trapped by these stupid pods and saw no light at the end of the tunnel. Thankfully, those days have passed for me, hope they stay gone for you as well! Slow or fast, we will all get through this thing!! As far as what 90 mg of morphine equals to in these pods, it is so hard to say because they all vary in strength. I do know that last week when I was skipping my 10 gram pod dose, around 4 vicodin 5/500 would hold me over for around 6 hours. But I also have no idea how the vics compare to morphine.

Ham, hate to see you are still having problems with withdrawal symptoms. I know you don't want to sit at that dosage for awhile, but remember when you were telling me all the tips of a successful taper, one I believe was stabilize before you drop again. And you are probably right, what you are taking now likely equals way less of the stronger pods so in many ways you are very far along in your taper!! At the end of it, your body will be used to so little, hopefully it won't have a hard time letting go. I will be thinking of you today. You have been such an incredible inspiration and help to me, I hope you catch a bit of a break soon!

 

[HamClamp]

Thanks MLK- I'm feeling tons better today. I finally got stabilised today. Wow- that was rough. I am definitely going to sit here an extra day- maybe even two. I'm just not ready to take another drop tomorrow and risk missing any more work.

I am finding encouragement in the fact that these pods ARE weak as all hell and therefore what seems like a substantial dose based on mass really isn't much at all as far as active ingrediants go.

Thank for keeping me on the straight and narrow MLK- I appreciate it for sure.


Hang in there everybody- another day almost done. We're getting there slowly but surely.

Peace.

 

[Help me please]

Ham can we all take a nap now? For those of you that can't sleep just tell me how long you'd like to sleep for and I'll do it for you. I'm not trying to be mean...I'm just so exhausted all the time!

 

[HamClamp]

Ham can we all take a nap now? For those of you that can't sleep just tell me how long you'd like to sleep for and I'll do it for you. I'm not trying to be mean...I'm just so exhausted all the time!

Are you kidding me? NEVER leave a nap untaken!

Are you more tired lately, maybe since you doses were cut down or is it the typical opiate-induced tiredness? Where I used to be energized by a dose I eventually ended up very run-down.

Maybe you're pushing yourself too hard throughout the day? Tending the little one, gardening and canning, the high heat and humidity, etc., could certainly all add up to excessive tiredness.

You're also on an antibiotic from that wicked splinter aren't you? That could cause tireness don't you think?

I'm counting my blessings in that as miserable as I've been feeling the past few days I've still managed to get a good night's sleep which for me is 4-6 hours. How many hours sleep do you average? Are you feeling okay otherwise?

 

[Help me please]

Ham it probably is the antibiotic. Bottle says it can cause drowsiness. We have central AC and a pool so I easily avoid the heat when I need to. I admit fall is my favorite time of the year though. I like cool nights and partly cloudy days with highs in the mid 60's and a nice breeze. I'd rather open all the windows in the house than run the AC.

My thigh is better but I have a few more days on the pills. I did a lot with the baby today though. It's hard running to town with him and climbing up and down in the SUV to get him in his booster seat and strapped in. He just has too much energy for me some days!

Tomorrow is another 11 plus hour day with him. We are staying home so it will be easier. Might can some V8 juice if he behaves...He will if he wants to ride that new razor trike I bought him today. I need to figure out a way to get him more forward in the seat. Might have to dig out some of his old baby blankets and duct tape them to the seat back till he is taller. He had so much fun today even wiping out on it. Thank God I got him the set of pads!

So how did you fare today Ham? You only sleep 4 to 6 hours normally? I like to get 10. Lol, I usually get 8 then wake up and do my meds and then go back to sleep for a few more hours. I have never had a problem doing that! Then I nap a few more during the day. Even on the days the baby gets here at 6:30 am I get up 10 minutes before and get him settled and then go back to sleep on the sofa. He usually does too though. We are not morning people here! Ham it was weird when I was in WD and did not sleep though. I would get maybe 2 hours at most and then be up for hours and hours and then sleep another hour or two. I got like 5 or 6 hours in 48. Once I got that clonidine patch on I slept 12 hours straight but woke up for meds once. The next night I had a bit of trouble falling asleep but I assume it was from sleeping so much that day. Well actually it was average for me so not sure. I do like my sleep Another hour till I can dose again and then sleep again. I napped on the sofa for an hour from 7 to 8 pm tonight. If sleeping were an Olympic sport...all Gold here

Almost forgot...poops better yet?

 

[mlk_2900]

Hemp, how old is your grandson? I have a little boy too and am a part-time stay at home mom so I can understand how tiring they can be. I say every day if I only had half the energy my son has I would be doing great!

Ham, I am so glad to hear your dosage is treating you better now! Its better to hold at that dosage and be sure you are stable before dropping and creating more of a mess. Don't worry, we will all be through this in no time one way or another. I am at 7 grams now and doing fairly well, trying to take that same advice to heart because I am tempted to drop to 5 grams, but know with the weekend I have coming up it is probably not the best idea.

 

[HamClamp]

Hemp! Yep things are running more comfortably down there. I finally stabilized and the lope seems to be doing its job. I feel good this morning.

MLK! Thanks for the kick in the ass. I'm gonna take my own advice and sit tight here for today. It's Friday so I'll get through work no problem. One extra day isn't gonna make a bit of difference in the long run. Thanks!

7 grams? Wow! You're doing SO good! Keep on keeping on!

Podster! How are you doing pal? Stay the course- -this too shall pass.

Bo! Check in when you get a chance. Hang tough brother.

Hang in there everybody- we're getting there slowly but surely!

TGIF!


Peace.