Hi Ham,
You and I are in much the same boat, as I suspect are many people at the moment. I have been a daily pod user (8-12 XLs) for the past 5 months. This is the first time I have been addicted to an opiate, and I have never experienced full-blown withdrawal. Cold turkey is not an option. I am a graduate student in a competitive program, and I currently have a technician working under me that relies on my daily guidance. Also, from the brief tastes of WD I have gotten over the past few months, I am frankly terrified of stopping abruptly.
I remember a million years ago when I first experienced withdrawals from H. At first I thought I had food poisoning or the flu and then the realization hit me and I freaked out! Mind you this was back long before the internet so info was only available from other users and doctors and who went to doctors when you're 20-some years old, playing in a rock&roll band, and shooting dope? HA! It was scary but not scary enough to get me into recovery at that point. That came much later.
Over the past 5 days, I have managed to reduce my intake to over half my old average. (although I suspect that the poor quality pods had lately reduced my tolerance.) I did this mostly in a big jump of about 40%. I was eyeballing at that point. Discomfort has been minimal thusfar. A bit of malaise, cramps and excessive pooping. It has helped that I have been very absorbed in my work lately so I can avoid thinking about it most of the time.
Good job! Staying busy IS a plus for sure. I've got no shortage of things to occupy me be it work or things here at home. I'm in a rural area and there are always plenty of chores to wear me out by days end.
Treat those symptoms! No need to suffer - take some Loperamide for the poops. Titrate up (although it's slow-going as Lope comes on slowly) until you hit that sweet spot. Watch out for constipation. You think pods bound you up? Wait until the Lope makes a concrete pinecone in your butt. Take a fiber supplement. Fiber works both ways- good for constipation as well as the runs. The Lope will help with the cramping too.
Because of the advice in this and other threads, I just ground up my remaining pods and portioned them. It was a huge pain, but I really think it will help. I do not have a scale so I made accurate volumetric measurements instead. Tomorrow is 70cc's administered once in the evening in yogurt. This will be reduced by 2.5 ccs per day until it is nil. Doses are packaged, dated and organized. I got some bad news from my GF today, but I thought only briefly about getting high. stay tough. 28 days to freedom. I think we will be jumping at about the same time.
Good job. I worry about you droppping each day. The 3-day stabilization thing I do is not theory. It is based on the long half-life of pods. Stabilization is VERY important during a taper because few mere mortals can handle being in a constant state of w/d for a month. I'm now on day-four and NO negative symptoms. This is due to stabilization in my opinion. I know that all that grinding and bagging was a pain in the ass but you *might* want to re-schedule your taper allowing for 3 days @ x dose before dropping. It's entirely up to you, though, as it's all you, baby! Listen to your body. If it's working and you're good than roll on down the road! If, however, it's beating you down a little further each day please consider changing it up and allowing that stabilizaton time. It will give you a little break between each drop. I know damn well that I could not handle being even mildly sick for the next month.
Yeah we ought to be winding this up right about the same time. Feel free to use this thread as your own. The more the merrier. It's good to know we're not alone in this so by all means jump in and post as often as you wish!
I have a few xanies in case of dire emergency, but they are hard to come by. Otherwise it is loperamine, benedryl and a sip of bourbon here and there. Oh, I also have a prescription for adderall, which has been helpful for getting up and going in the AM. I am saving stems, seeds, and a couple moldy pods in case I a little relief along the way. Is this a good idea? Should I toss them instead?
I have a few Valium set aside too but I'll go the herbal route first. I don't like benzos but I will use them as sparingly as possible if I need them to get through the workdays.
Be careful with the alcohol. I've blown a couple tapers/kicks because I got an alcohol buzz and said "Fuggit!" and blew it only to wake up in the morning, realize I'd blown it, fall into despair, and give up. It also dehydrates so drink as much water as you can stand.
Same with the Adderall. When I'm tapering or in full w/d the thought of a stimulant makes me shudder. But that's me. Listen to your body. If it gives you the pep you need to get moving then by all means go for it. You know your body- listen to it. More than a half-cup of coffee, in w/d, puts me into anxietyland and that is unacceptableto me. Anxiety is my sworn enemy during this taper!
I've got 30lbs of stems, knobs, and crowns and I am saving them in case, after my last dose, if I need an even smaller cushion. I'll pitch them AFTER this taper not before! Like you I have responsibilities that I MUST perform 5 days a week so if I need to ride out an extra week or two on stem tea so be it. If I were you I'd save them. I couldn't get high on them no matter how big a cuppa I made so there's no worries there. Hell I can relapse any time I want. Temptation is just an email or phonecall away so I have no qualms keeping my stems around until I'm 100% done.
Toss the moldy pods now! Mold can be deadly. For real. Save the stems but toss the moldy pods right away.
Good luck, and let me know if you want to talk to someone who will understand what you are going though. I think we have the best motivation possible: pods are entirely unavailable from every vendor I have checked.
Same to you- as I said feel free to treat this thread as your own and use it any way you need to. I'm only a message away (I'm a Bluelighter now woo hoo!) so don't hesitate.
Yes most vendors are out and those who do have stock are 5x the normal price and quality is low. Ironically, as I type this, I'm looking out the window at a small garden plot of the finest Tazzies I've ever grown! I've got pods the size of baseballs out there and literally a few hundred still in bloom. The weather here this year provided me with the best crop ever. As I said- relapse is always an option but not for me. Not today anyhow. I'm tempted to mow 'em down and if it gets to troubling me I most certainly will. In my mind, today, they are no different than the other varieties of flowers in my garden. If they cause me any grief I'm be zooming over them on my tractor in no time!
Crazy days indeed!
Thanks for dropping in. Keep in touch and post/pm any time for any reason okay?
Hang in there and we'll get to the other side. I've got your back.
Thanks for your support. I'm glad you're here!
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