No More PillThrill!

^^^
Well, it could be helpful from opiate withdrawal related headaches. I've gotten pretty bad headaches from withdrawal and they would usually go away after taking more opiates. Loperamide can help alleviate withdrawal symptoms (I will attest that) so it could help :)
 
Thrill:

I get horrible migraines. If I have no access to stronger opiates, or are disinclined because of trying to be opiate free, I will take Excedrin (the kind with tylenol, aspirin, and caffeine) and 100-150 mg of benadryl and this combo actually helps A LOT. But, be sure to lay down after you take them which seems to make it work better and faster. Feel better soon lovely!
 
No, not here. Just a particular social that finds me annoying and had attacked me twice in the last 2 weeks. Its hard enough without BLers giving me crap on top of it. The Dark Side, is wonderful, no worries guys.

As for encouraging, well BL in general is about drugs and drug use. It causes on to think about drugs and perhaps therefore have drug cravings and go back to drug behaviors. Thats all I was saysing.

Ok well if they ever say it again you tell daddy bojangles and he will kick the crap out of him. =]

Whenever someone is a dick to me I just assume they have a crush and don't know how to say it...
 
I just walked away from the thread. Perhaps I'll go back, I dunno.
The feeling of being unwanted sucks, period. No matter where you encounter it.
But I suppose that is what the ignore function is for.

GOOD NEWS! NO MORE HEADACHE! It let up last night after I smoked a lil more and went to see my "sister-in-law"'s new house! (She had cookies too! And let me have some! <3) They moved just like 3 blocks away! YAY!
 
PT: How many days has it been since your last dose of Tramadol?

I have never experience so much terror in my life as I have while going through Tram withdrawal. I would suggest you do not think about things that worry you at all, because it is ALL seriously out of proportion. It is like wearing lense goggles and trying to estimate a measurement. It simply won't work.

Keep it up. It probably feels like the fear will never end, but it will, I promise. Stay strong :).
 
I concur with above statement (Boj.) First off, right now is NOT the time to be looking for work. I mean unless you have absolutely no choice, as in your ass will be on the street tomarrow if you don't work now, trying to look for, let alone keep a new job while going through W/D's for me ain't gonna happen. It sounds like you're a physical and emotional wreck now, so keeping that in mind, I'd make my first priority to kick the Tramadol. I wouldn't worry about looking for work or trying to quit weed as well, assuming that weed is ALL you're doing.

I found out too late the devastating effects of Tramadol, & even after 9 months was unable to get off of it, not because the high was so great, but because of the horrific w/ds. Dysphoria mainly, but also thats when my damned chronic fatigue started up BIG time! No matter how much or little I slept, I'd never be able to wake up feeling refreshed. The only thing that offered me relief from both dysphoria, constant fatigue, & ADD is/was meth. I am certainly not suggesting you do meth. In my case, once I found the w/d's too much for me from Tramadol, my choices were to live day to day feeling like crap or to take something I knew would bring relief. Ibogaine sounded like a great option & I discussed it with Tobala, but that unfortunately is not legal in the USA, which sucks.

You're in the same boat apparently, in that finances are scarse, & that really sucks ass because otherwise I would have gone to Canada to detox where it is legal and available. Damned idiotic War on Drugs regime! That said, I can only perhaps offer one suggestion that may or may not prove to be helpful. Whoops maybe not cause you tossed your Tramadols in favor of your asshole boyfriend....but in any case if you go to a health food store or vitamin store, there is this naturopathic drug called Phenocane. I found it to be pretty helpful in that it made the symptoms suck half as bad trying to taper. The only thing is I was instructed to take 4 Tramadols a day for a week, along with 2 Phenocane pills every 4 hrs, 3 1/2 pills the next week of Tramadol with the Phenocanes going down 1/2 pill every week.

The dysphoria wasn't terrible, the fatigue only a fraction instense, but my mistake was when down to 1/2 pill Tramadol per day---I took 2 more Trams to see if the freaken intensive sciatica pain (if thats what it was) would leave...or not. 20 minutes later no more pain, so I knew I was in trouble & that there wasn't any way around having to go through that pain...so I fucked myself badly. The naturopath doc told me it was probably w/ds causing the pain, but I wish he would of let me think it was due to something else, I wouldn't have known the difference. The pain, bad as it was, was preferable to the dysphoria & fatigue.

Don't know if any of this will help you, but you need to kick in peace, without him. He's only making it worse IMO & don't worry about getting a job until you're done kicking. Maybe you should tell your doctor & have him help you taper. Tell him the agony you're going through.
 
I just walked away from the thread. Perhaps I'll go back, I dunno.
The feeling of being unwanted sucks, period. No matter where you encounter it.
But I suppose that is what the ignore function is for.

GOOD NEWS! NO MORE HEADACHE! It let up last night after I smoked a lil more and went to see my "sister-in-law"'s new house! (She had cookies too! And let me have some! <3) They moved just like 3 blocks away! YAY!
i just retreat to my room when i have to deal with the stress of WD. i've always been happy alone

i had a headache for several days straight with w/d, i was happy when it lifted

try to realize when a bluelighter responds to someone they don't know the person at all, but make a stereotypical image in their head of that person. their own issues and things that are important to them get projected outwards. and in real life, people feeling angry cause them to behave not themselves (well, as an angry version of themselves i guess)

try to have plenty of awareness of that when those sorts of thoughts (unwanted) come up? i don't know, probably easier said than done
 
Whenever someone is a dick to me I just assume they have a crush and don't know how to say it...

same here. haha


i would say good luck, but luck is for scoring in this context, you dont need any luck, just more time, and certainty that its guaranteed to end.


just keep doing what you are doing, youll be a pro by the time its over ;) and able to guide others through the same shit with confidence later.
 
I know you hate me, but well done (I was only trying to help you). I do mean that sincerely.

I don't know why I should even care, but good on you ! :)
 
OK, as much as I would like to say everything is perfect right now. Its not.
I decided to take some codeine the other day. A really lose dose. I noticed nothing much a lil body night and just feeling happier. Although I paid for it, with it causing a MASSIVE 2 day headache after it wore off, just like Tram always did.

Now, I feel sad, unhappy, unfulfilled a lot of the time. I'm working towards my goals more than I have been before. Starting classes, having interviews, working on the house and what not. But the quiet times I find myself alone, sitting with my computer while Anthony is still sleeping, or trying to sleep at night, I am overwhelmed with racing thoughts and sadness.
Is this still part of coming off the drugs? Or something else?

It likely doesn't help that I have replaced the Tram with weed. I feel the need to be constantly stoned. Well, I feel a need for substances of any kind really. That is why I have not refilled my pain meds for fear that I will just start taking them again.

I feel lost and would like some perspective.
 
as simple as this sounds you need a bit of exercise! I know how you feel been through it many times. exercise helped me kick the rest...the emotions esp. chin up...smile...it's get'n better. aslo, dont spend alot of time alone right now...leads backwards.
 
Days like this I'm glad I have taken precautionary measures such as gun locks and flushing pills.I so crave the warm "joy" that flows through my body when I'm high. Rather than this empty sadness. When I was high, at least I was happy. I'm trying to move towards my goals but I feel that I have fallen so far behind, no job, still not graduated, no money (and no idea how to get any). Everyone else has jobs and spouses and children, I'd be happy with half of that. Days like this, I wonder if I can ever be happy without behind high. Sure I have the weed, it is just another crutch to dull all this. Nothing makes you feel like opiates do but it has just come to the point that they are downright TOXIC to my body. I'm at loss, as usual... When does this end? Does it ever end?
 
It was not a real "happy". Ive been off opiates for over a yr now and Im happy again. It took time but "real" joy comes back. Alos, the job, the kids, the life you want...you can have it now that you are moving in the right direction. It does end and all of a sudden you look around and feel graet. It sucks right now, I know, but keep looking forward and try not to spend much time alone. The best is yet to come...opiates are a liar!!!
 
OK, as much as I would like to say everything is perfect right now. Its not.
I decided to take some codeine the other day. A really lose dose. I noticed nothing much a lil body night and just feeling happier. Although I paid for it, with it causing a MASSIVE 2 day headache after it wore off, just like Tram always did.

Now, I feel sad, unhappy, unfulfilled a lot of the time. I'm working towards my goals more than I have been before. Starting classes, having interviews, working on the house and what not. But the quiet times I find myself alone, sitting with my computer while Anthony is still sleeping, or trying to sleep at night, I am overwhelmed with racing thoughts and sadness.
Is this still part of coming off the drugs? Or something else?

It likely doesn't help that I have replaced the Tram with weed. I feel the need to be constantly stoned. Well, I feel a need for substances of any kind really. That is why I have not refilled my pain meds for fear that I will just start taking them again.

I feel lost and would like some perspective.

It does have a lot to do with drugs, Pill. It takes some time to get used to not having opiates in one's system. I recall a time that I needed opiates in my system to do anything on a social level, or panic would set in immediately. I try to keep my opiate use in moderation now, only using twice a week or so. The cravings never go away, yet dosing on occasion does help me de-stress and also keeps psychological torment from dragging me down to the point where I want to end myself....
 
No, not here. Just a particular social that finds me annoying and had attacked me twice in the last 2 weeks. Its hard enough without BLers giving me crap on top of it. The Dark Side, is wonderful, no worries guys.

As for encouraging, well BL in general is about drugs and drug use. It causes on to think about drugs and perhaps therefore have drug cravings and go back to drug behaviors. Thats all I was saysing.
if you're talking about CD soc, there aren't any "serious" comments in there, and it's assumed if someone says something mean it's just playing around
 
Days like this I'm glad I have taken precautionary measures such as gun locks and flushing pills.I so crave the warm "joy" that flows through my body when I'm high. Rather than this empty sadness. When I was high, at least I was happy. I'm trying to move towards my goals but I feel that I have fallen so far behind, no job, still not graduated, no money (and no idea how to get any). Everyone else has jobs and spouses and children, I'd be happy with half of that. Days like this, I wonder if I can ever be happy without behind high. Sure I have the weed, it is just another crutch to dull all this. Nothing makes you feel like opiates do but it has just come to the point that they are downright TOXIC to my body. I'm at loss, as usual... When does this end? Does it ever end?
i haven't had opies in three months. i really miss them. but i don't feel like i "need" them after the sickness stopped. the post withdrawal may be drawn out but it's subtle

you'll probably always have a desire to go back to that very warm safe environment. personally i feel i've grown up some since my opiate addiction and i'll be able to use once a week to once a month without problem (once receptors get back to normal), and having a little internal vacation every once in a while would enhance life imo. i guess it depends on how far the addiction goes and how psychological it is, whether you can use again.. obviously many can't

but the crazy effects on mood and the body will definitely subside, and eventually at some point you'll realize you've gone a day without really craving anything. we can't say how long that'll take but

having a hobby/interest is really really useful even if it's what everyone reccomends and easier said than done
 
Old thread update:
9 months off the Tram. Made that stuffed messed me up.
No relapses on it at all and when offered I remember how bad it really was and say no.
I'm not tempted.
Now I just have other things to conquer.
 
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