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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

DecENDber / LESScember

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I'm in (perhaps a bit late).
I have 110 days clean from everything and I intend to continue.

For this month I want to focus on humility (pride and ego), faith (non-religious) and acceptance.

Started my first step this month (yeah, yeah... big deal/who cares?) but it is pretty cool being aware of certain things about myself.

I wish everyone well this month! <3
 
Congrats OverDone - keep it up :) Glad to see you're still going strong! You'll learn much more about yourself in the coming months - or at least realize the effects that your actions have on yourself/others ;)
 
Ah well 7 weeks of self pitying drinking ended 7 days ago - so I'm on yet another 42 day plan - I love them I tend to be able to pull them off - this ones not to watch ANY television or drink alcohol.
It's interesting how much more one reads & talks etc without TV.
 
^We went a few years without TV and it was good. I did read alot, was online alot more and got outside alot :) But I read and do other things now too-- but I think turning your tv off a while is a good thing:)

OD- You are so awesome. I love that you are setting these great goals to become an overall better person (not that you aren't wonderful now:)) I just really respect someone who knows they are never done learning to be better, stronger and at the same time HUMBLE. A humble person is on a higher level in my mind :)
Are you doing much reading or how are you going about practicing these things?

Okay- Its day 4- tomorrow is Day 5 and I am really ready for my first week to be done:)
It is getting a little easier.........

B9- Glad to see you <3 Tell the Mrs. I send my love ;)
 
OD--congrats :)


The 13th of this month will be 8 months clean of heroin/opiates and benzos. I did slip this passed weekend and had one gin drink and tripped on dxm.

I was never ever much of a drinker though or a tripper, so I don't feel like this is going to derail me. If anything, the dxm helped scratch the itch I had to go get heroin.

I know that kinda sounds like a junkie excuse, but oh well :)
 
thanks everyone. You realize you aren't making it easy with your kind words :D

ocean said:
Are you doing much reading or how are you going about practicing these things?
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Well, can understand people's opinions on 12 Step stuff but I have to say, reading 12 Step literature is helping me see some things in a different perspective. Yeah, I get that many have problems with this kinda stuff but I apply what I see applies to me. Also, this one Step Working Guide seems to have a lot of CBT based questions concerning addictive traits/behaviors.

I dunno, its hard to explain without people thinking I'm 'brainwashed' but when I actually do the right thing for the right reason or do the OPPOSITE of what I a used to (or would have done), things seem to work out.

I've also been trying to help others wherever I can (I think I may step over the line sometimes but, shit, I'm new at this so figure I can learn from any mistakes like being too aggressive or intrusive)

Hey, I don't blame anyone for rolling their eyes at this or smirking as they read. I probably would be doing the same. All I know is that when I consider as many variables to situations and other people's potential perspective, I seem to be happier and life seems easier.

Blah, blah, blah... I know but shit, I really can't complain since it seems to be working.

Anyway, I am PROUD of your smoking cessation, ocean. That is something that I struggle with daily and I admire your strength and determination. Can I borrow some? I REALLY want to stop but am being a pussy/hypocrite by not taking action and quitting.

Cigarettes are a motherfucker to put down. Anyone who can kick THAT habit has me in awe.
 
^I in turn admire those who are able to truly "take what they want and leave the rest" from AA/NA/etc. In the ultimate analysis, for me, it was more like "take all of it or die/end up in jail/be institutionalized." I thought about joining another group, but the group nearest my house has a great reputation. I am glad the program is working for you. I know 90 days had to be a really critical point for you. Congratulations, and keep it up!

Ocean, I am damned impressed :)

kc, that's really a very minor slip. You didn't go out and get the heroin and you're surely better off for that. <3

B9, is there anything special about the number 42 for you? ;)
 
ocean said:
B9- Glad to see you <3 Tell the Mrs. I send my love ;)
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Certainly shall do - thank you ocean :) <3

B9, is there anything special about the number 42 for you?
Click to expand...


There may or may not be a certain religious significance - depending upon what you regard as religion or significance - or even both - the great philosopher/spiritual leader handed this one down to us lesser (I do of course speak only for myself here) mortals. I tried for years to incorporate it into life meaningfully - winning the lottery, betting on horses, rhythmically chanting the sacred name of Forty Two in hopes of winning enlightenment for myself. None of this was to any avail, but like a true believer I never turned aside from the path - even though it disappeared before my very eyes. Then one fine autumn day it occurred to me that the meaning ( for myself anyway - it is of course a multifaceted tool) was that to abstain for 42 days from any substance or activity was quite long enough to get over physical withdrawals from most things & also long enough to regain some perspective - but not too long so as to frighten off someone who perhaps wanted the comfort of knowing they could always return from whence they came but without a sense of personal failure! I do not recommend this practice to anyone & no one recommended it to me - thus it works. <3
 
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Hi all,

Not having a good time at work. We have a huge back-log of vehicles to repair so are working 12 hour days at the moment (8am ---> 8pm). The bosses at work are being fucking tools and there's a lot of office bickering going on.

The 12 hour shifts've been going on all week and are gonna last another week.

Met a really nice girl on internet dating. We've been chatting really good and texting 20 times a day. She's my age (mid 30's), no ties, hot looking and good job. Can't even go and have an evening out with her due to getting up at 7, working til 8 and crashing until the next morning. Not likely to see her until after Christmas now and by that time who knows? She might have met another guy at a Christmas party or whatever.

A couple of weeks ago I was doing loads of gym work and feeling lean and muscular but now that I'm forced to work long hours I get back at 8pm, have a shower and about 8:30 crack a bottle of wine open. All the good work I was doing has started disappearing along with the six-pack I had. Started back into old ways again.

Anyway, just wanted to vent as feeling pretty sad and pissed off.
 
I'm in:

Goal: Just to keep it like I have since the end of October. One or two beers a night, occasional nights off with at least 2 a week. Will also allow myself to go out and have a few more on the weekend. Also do not want to smoke until around xmas.

Also, keep eating healthy and keep working out. I have been doing really good since Octsober. I think I just needed to realize that I can indeed function without drinking and getting buzzed every night. I thought this pattern wasn't impairing my functioning but it was.

I guess my goals are similar to red leaders. I want to walk out of this month at least a pound heavier (muscle) then last as well. My gains in the gym have been pretty big these past few months.
 
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Does anyone else get mad emotional when they are kicking the habit?
I keep welling up just by listening to interviews of Tim Tebow and shit...wtf is wrong with me...(he really is a nice guy though)
 
^Yes, this is common. Last month I think I cried 5 times in one week and the only reason was withdrawal from benzos. Now I am sober off that and the hard stuff and I am feeling like myself again.

It feels good to let out a cry, especially if you aren't normally someone who cries. It also brings up some issues that you might not normally think about. When done properly, crying is one of the best self-help therapies available. It really allows you to let frustration go and move on with your life.

Crying also shows strength. People who don't know how to cry rarely ask for help and usually end up very tense and unhappy.
 
w01fg4ng said:
Crying also shows strength. People who don't know how to cry rarely ask for help and usually end up very tense and unhappy.
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Heh, I haven't cried since I got sober ~18 months ago. Refuse to. *Almost* did when I first learned of parents getting divorced and seeing my mother so upset, but I just refuse to... Besides, chicks don't like it ;p

OverDone: Regarding 12 step stuff, I too almost feel awkward speaking about it at times. If I heard myself talking about it how I do now, back when I first joined this board, I would have had nothing good to say.
 
`pr0digy said:
Heh, I haven't cried since I got sober ~18 months ago. Refuse to. *Almost* did when I first learned of parents getting divorced and seeing my mother so upset, but I just refuse to... Besides, chicks don't like it ;p
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And I have gone 8 years without crying, but that has nothing to do with what chicks like. Most people in this thread are here to deal with there emotions and problems and it does make you stronger (and more attractive) to know how to.

Drug addictions more often than not suppress your emotions more than they help. When you get sober, you are faced with everything you have been hiding from yourself and it very natural and strong of you to cry.

Do not sacrifice your own stability in order to keep what you think is dignity.
 
It's been about 3 weeks now off and I feel that the hardest part is over (I hope). I am sleeping well and my anxiety is getting back to normal as well with no depression, so those are good signs. I have noticed I am gaining weight (which for me isn't really a bad thing) since I quit benzos, but I am not sure if it is a direct correlation.

I did have somewhat of a test to my sobriety/anxiety/stress in past few days. It felt good to resolve a personal issue (with a loved one) clean and sober. It's been awhile.
 
Damn Mariposa, sorry to hear you haven't kicked drinking :(
I missed the last 2 months' threads, intentiuonally ...

December has been horridly miserable. I bought a bunch of booze tonite on impulse, despite being beyond broke .. I'll probably throw it out tomorrow.
I ran out of cannabis yesterday so as usual I'm freaking out ... just trying to get through this month as quickly as possible.

Can't wait for the New Year .. Same sh*t, different year for me I guess, pretty sure I've said the same thing last 3 years here .. I am being healthier, but as always I'm just straight-up addicted .. I'm growing older and dumber; I want to abandon all my achievements for the street life. Admitting this doesn't scare me, it just feels like truth, yet I still try to avoid it half the time.
Hope you all survive the holidays in a safe&healthy manner .. It will end, just not soon enough.
 
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My goals for December is to not touch opiates or pharmies of any kind, and I hope that will carry on into the rest of my life. So far I am on day 5 of kicking the habit cold turkey style. Withdrawals are all gone. Yay! I love it when my shit is totally non-oxy influenced, healthy bowel movements FTW!. As in no w/d diarrhea, or no rock hard opiate style constipation.
My other goal is to cut way way down on my weed intake, which I have done. As I used to smoke several times a day, and I haven't smoked in 5 days and I don't feel irritable or anything.
I am also trying not to replace the addiction with any other sort of drug, which is going well as I have gotten some melatonin to help me sleep. My doctor gave me a prescription for Valium, but I told her that, being prone to addiction, I would like to stay away from benzos. So I have the script, but I haven't filled it.
 
So far we have alot of really good goals!!

Glad to hear you have kept up since October phactor!! That is awesome!!

Coffeedrinker- Let me know how the melatonin works out- I MAY need some help getting to sleep after next week- I plan to slowly get off of my K-pins (I'm on a small dose , so it shouldn't be TOO bad) But I am a little worried about sleep (I also quit taking my muscle relaxer at night which helped me sleep TREMENDOUSLY- I would at least get 4 hours of solid sleep)
So today is one week with no cigarettes and hopefully 2 weeks from now I will either be off of or close to off of my Kpins:)
 
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