crankinit - the worst thing u can do is feel bad, ie. guilt, shame, for using
hell, i got to over a yr of not using anything at all then i started using.....and not just meth, i was on opioids too
to rid myself daily of the guilt/shame as well as the cravings/hangover left from the day befores use, i ended up back where i started - a full-time addict
now i still cant stop using meth altogether, and only reason im not still banging smack is cos im on a fair dose of methadone
if i cud turn back time id say 'so i used - so wat?' and forget about that single slip
dont let one slip become a relapse - only u can prevent this from happening
if ur having overwhelming cravings now uve used, talk to someone
if u cant ring a drug helpline or see a drug counsellor, then PM me......im always here for any of u as ive said time and time again
mia - i found wen i was regularly using, even at 36kg i got periods, they were just erratic
sometimes i wudnt get them for months, even half a yr, other times id get them evry couple of weeks!
the main thing for all chicks on amphetamines (which cause irregular periods) to remember is that if u go for a long time without menstruating it puts u at more risk than most women for ovarian cysts and even cancers
basically ur body is still making the eggs - they just hav nowhere to go, which isnt healthy
one thing that can help is asking ur doctor if u can go on something which will regulate ur period (even sometimes give u more periods than most women) like spironolactone, which is used to treat high blood pressure (another side effect of amphetamines) but is also prescribed for polycystic ovary syndrome cos it brings on ur period more often
if u r taking spironolactone u will pee like a dog on heat and this combined with speed/meth will cause dehydration, so make sure u drink lots of water if u choose to take it
ull also find that rather than having heavy periods ull hav 'spotting' but it will b often enough to clean ur system out
as for me - not doing so gd
my friend ('friend X') got busted again on my bday and as u do, i found out thru the papers, cos she was going to 'wait until id calmed down about Bollys death' before breaking the news (did she think i dont read the paper anymore? maybe i shudnt)
id say shell do time - really, she thinks shes untouchable, but im sure she knows deep down shes bn busted too often now not to do at least 6 months
looking forward to this trial *not* 8(
thing is im not mad at her - i cant b - cos i totally understand
if i was well-known (even just in NZ - shes hardly Paris Hilton tho there r similarities) id still b a P addict......thats just me, and i guess its just her
so ive still bn using off-and-on
and the last time was my bday - id bn a few weeks clean prior to that i think (at least 2 weeks)
my bday was a single use but it was a gd half in one go of pure crystal (wud hav bn a gd 90 - 95% pure)
the trigger was wat happened to my friend but i still chose to use - doesnt mean im going to let myself get wrapped up in that cycle of guilt/shame i talked about earler.....im moving on
however, the memory of that night remains
however the time before was a real 4-day bender that i barely lived thru tbh
i was sick already (asthma) and i just made it all worse really by stressing my body out, not to mention not taking my methadone once the entire time i was tweaking over at a friends place
i ended up in hospital on the first night after smoking a G with my friend and making my lungs worse and they were going to keep me in over night but i walked off into the night after ripping the lure out of my arm and bagging enough syringes, fits and even a tourniquet, to keep me going for awhile
i only had to walk about 5km to get back to my mates - her bf was there too, and we just stayed up for days listening to metal and having one of those moronic conversations u hav on P (cant even remember wat we said)
they used the pipe and i shot into evry vein i cud find
blessed b the need for methadone - that was wat forced me to return home, aching all over, almost crying in pain, vomitting, shitting like a horse on laxatives and trembling, with pupils like an owl on acid
as soon as i dosed i dropped off to sleep and slept until i had to pick up the next dose (then fell asleep for the rest of that day)
like gorgoroth i find the best way to stay off crystal meth is dexamphetamine maintenance, as ive bn on P for 8yrs straight, and adding all these binges since, more like 8 and a quarter
that and im ADHD and dexies work best for me
trouble is im coming off valium atm - and being epileptic, theyve taken me off dexamphetamine as its seen as lowering my seizure threshold too much
perhaps, but wudnt P lower it worse? and its only bn since ive bn off dexamphetamine ive bn turning back to P
all i know is i continue to try but life has thrown a fair heap of shit at me lately and naturally i tend to turn to P wen things get too much for me
anyway congrats to gorgoroth and leftwing - and any ive missed out
gd to catch up on u all
sorry i havnt dropped in lately but as u see life is a clutter.... 8(
) in my body?
i hope you had a good celebration.
