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alcoholism thread [merged]

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Sorry to hear that PJ...........
Zig zag- def have that checked out- I have an ulcer and when I drink it is torture........I feel your pain:) I'd see a Dr.-get it figured out so you can work on healing whatever the problem is.........

How did everyone else do this weekend??
 
AmorRoark said:
^ I know what you mean about Spring-like weather making it all the more difficult not to drink. Yesterday I was thinking I would like nothing more than to sit outside on a patio, eat a salad and drink a couple beers. I didn't, though. I'm glad you kicked your roommate out. He sounded like an extremely bad influence. If you were able to stay sober even a day around that guy I think you have a much brighter future now. :)

I've been abstinent for 5 days now. I *really* hope to make it through the weekend.

I feel really healthy. I think I'm almost over the insomnia. I woke up this morning without feeling incredibly tired. I haven't felt this way after waking up in a long time.

Another benefit I think I've noticed is a decrease in anxiety. I have minor attacks still but it doesn't take me down as far. I think my anxiety was fueling my "the whole world is complete suffering and humanity is awful" 'realization'. I never had thoughts like that nearly as often or to that intensity before I started drinking hardcore.

All in all, things sound to be going pretty well or at least better for everyone. That makes me so happy. :)
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Wow. That is great to hear. Keep it up!
 
Great to hear how well a lot of you are doing!! I haven't been here in a long time :(

I quit drinking for a little while and replaced it with G. Now i'm drinking again and it's not the same. I want to beat the things in my head that make me drink but they are so strong at the moment.
 
Good to see you checking in tg <3
I hope you can work through some of the issues that make you want to drink. Are you going to any meetings/therapy etc?? Some things we can't do on our own.
 
Ive been doing pretty good with my drinking lately. I got a bit too drunk at the club last weekend but no trouble came of it. I wish I could focus on something besides consuming more alcohol when I go out. I went out and danced a bit for awhile but towards the end of the night I was far to sloppy to be out on the dance floor. It was fun though , it's good for me to go out and socialize. I spend far too much time at home these days :\
 
n3ophy7e said:
Good to see you checking in tg <3
I hope you can work through some of the issues that make you want to drink. Are you going to any meetings/therapy etc?? Some things we can't do on our own.
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Thanks hun <3 No, i don't go to meetings or therapy anymore i must admit. Maybe it's time to start going again? I suck at disiplin. Last night was a BIG reminder as to why i can't drink anymore. I didn't go to work today because i slept in. I blacked out. Drank all my house mates alcohol. I was smoking in the lounge room. (we have a non smoking house). And who knows what else i did. The internet tells me i was up at 1.30am. I thought i was in bed by 11! Fuck, i kind of wish i had a hangover for punishment.
 
God im craving alcohol today. All i got is 2 beers and that aint gonna do nothing. I want a 40ozer of vodka so i can drink until i forget everything.
 
^I'm craving badly too. Am trying to go six months without drinking, at the moment it is five months, and right now it's all I can think about as I've been having severe anxiety issues (GAD) recently. I really hope I can last six months as it's a target I set myself and I needed a prolonged break for my body and brain to recover.
 
Has anyone else in this thread ever worried about what would happen if you didn't do everything perfectly?

The moment you attain some level of sobriety, are you left with the paralyzing fear of how others will judge you if you falter, however slightly, even if nothing bad happens?

It's enough to drive a person back to the bottle.
 
^^^ I don't really worry about that. The people in my life that count know that im far from perfect and i fuck up every now and then. Sometimes in a big way 8) . But they also think that im a really nice sweet person (ya i actually get called sweet alot) who has his share of faults he has to deal with.

I slip up from time to time and that's just that. I bought some beer and vodka tonight and i might get drunk it depends on how i feel. I feel bummed out so it may cheer me up or it may make me worse. So we shall see.
 
Doing pretty good, but I'm back to about 3 to 4 beers a night. Its not impairing me and i'm doing much better in general in life. Need to get back to having at least one or two sober nights a week.

The last few weeks have been somewhat difficult because 6 of the last 9 work weeks have been spent in a suburb of Chicago for job training. After class, I go out to dinner and then go to my hotel room to watch sports. There are some decent bars, but I only stay for 1 or 2 because I do not drive drunk.
 
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Mariposa said:
Has anyone else in this thread ever worried about what would happen if you didn't do everything perfectly?

The moment you attain some level of sobriety, are you left with the paralyzing fear of how others will judge you if you falter, however slightly, even if nothing bad happens?

It's enough to drive a person back to the bottle.
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Sometimes. I can also be pretty damn hard on myself for stupid reasons.
 
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I am feeling really great today , I finally found a job and I'm going to be working at a green house. I took all the money I earned today and drank it up but oh well. At least now I have a positive place to go to every morning and make some cash :D
 
Yay Charlie :)

I haven't had anything harder than beer for a couple weeks now. No alcohol-related drama, sober as can be right now. The cravings come and go - at the moment they're absent, but who's to say?

Tomorrow I'm starting a regimen of piracetam, which several studies (links posted by request if I can) indicate improves cognitive function in heavy drinkers while reducing cravings/interest in alcohol.

Weaning to only beer or cider seems to be a "so far, so good" thing. I'm also doing a liver/full body cleanse (really just a buttload of vitamins and fiber) and modifying my diet slightly. If this doesn't work, next up is hypnosis/acupuncture. 8)

I'll update my AA thread tomorrow after what may be my last meeting. I recall a thread "is anyone triggered by meetings" and I will say the answer is a MAJOR YES. I can honestly say that most of the people I've met in AA have swapped their addiction to alcohol with the addiction to talking about the stupid shit they did while drunk. I'd prefer to be addicted to neither.
 
Mariposa said:
Yay Charlie :)

I haven't had anything harder than beer for a couple weeks now. No alcohol-related drama, sober as can be right now. The cravings come and go - at the moment they're absent, but who's to say?

Tomorrow I'm starting a regimen of piracetam, which several studies (links posted by request if I can) indicate improves cognitive function in heavy drinkers while reducing cravings/interest in alcohol.

Weaning to only beer or cider seems to be a "so far, so good" thing. I'm also doing a liver/full body cleanse (really just a buttload of vitamins and fiber) and modifying my diet slightly. If this doesn't work, next up is hypnosis/acupuncture. 8)

I'll update my AA thread tomorrow after what may be my last meeting. I recall a thread "is anyone triggered by meetings" and I will say the answer is a MAJOR YES. I can honestly say that most of the people I've met in AA have swapped their addiction to alcohol with the addiction to talking about the stupid shit they did while drunk. I'd prefer to be addicted to neither.
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I didn't really like AA all that much, but I have seen it work for some people and I am for whatever works. I just didn't feel like I fit in. Also a few of the meetings I went too were very religious.

The shit that I heard from some people in meetings was nuts. Stuff like "I'd start drinking and blackout for 3 days and end up two states away in prison". Or "when I first quit drinking I used to tease my children by pretending to go buy booze". Then often people would be told "if you keep it up then you will end up doing stuff like this". No offense, but if I were to ever pull anything close to blacking out and waking up in another state it would have been a few years ago.
 
^I've done a lot of dumb shit while drunk, but yeah, I can't really relate to a lot of it. I had no idea alcoholism and sex addiction were so strongly correlated. I am not a sex addict; I've never had sex with anyone drunk that I wouldn't have been with sober... and that was a complete one-off, fully protected. I could not relate to the people who wake up next to a stranger with a hangover wondering what the hell they did last night.

The fellowship I attend is apparently the least religious AA group that anyone I've spoken with has ever heard of. It's the "you WILL DIE if you take a drink" and the mentality that I'm on a highway to moral and spiritual hell if I have a freaking beer to relax that are putting me off. I'd almost rather they spat religion at me.

I've tried several benzodiazepines and many non-benzo "downers" for anxiolysis. NOT ONE is as anxiolytic for me as alcohol. There are very clear ties for me between my relationship with alcohol and my relationship with stress. When I manage my stress effectively, I drink less and enjoy it more. I need to address the cause of the problem now that I have fully identified it as a problem. Now I'm not condemned to spend the rest of my life solving that problem - it won't happen overnight, but it will happen.
 
I suppose I can't fathom cessation from wine just like a drug user can't fathom losing his drug habit. I've done some really stupid shit on alcohol, but it's the only thing that calms my nerves. I suppose since I'm older and always had romantic nights sharing a bottle that I don't see it as bad. I've also never slept with anyone drunk that I wouldn't have sober either, so even on my drunkest nights I've never woken up next to a complete stranger. I guess even when I'm sloppy drunk at a bar I still have snooty standards. LOL I have, though, woken up really wishing I hadn't done some things.
 
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