alcoholism thread [merged]

[paranoid android]

I got really drunk last night and i have a feeling i probably will tonight. Same old shit. Off the opiates back on the booze to kill the boredom, depression and utter fucking hopelessness i feel about my life. In short being sober even with even clonazepam in me to take down a horse seems to be not a option.

All i feel is a fucking void when sober a fucking void that i fill up with whatever crap drug i can get when i can't get opiates.

 

[cosmic charlie]

I've been drinking like a fish lately and using copious amounts of narcotic's. Now that I've gotten a job I've been living it up to say the least. It's a real bitch in the mornings because I'm so hungover. But I've been making it to work so it's all good. I think I'm starting to get DT's again. TOday at around three o'clock I started getting really shaky and nauseous. And the funny thing was as soon as I started taking shots my symptoms disappeared and I began smiling once again

I am most definitely an ALchy

 

[paranoid android]

I've been drinking like a fish lately and using copious amounts of narcotic's. Now that I've gotten a job I've been living it up to say the least. It's a real bitch in the mornings because I'm so hungover. But I've been making it to work so it's all good. I think I'm starting to get DT's again. TOday at around three o'clock I started getting really shaky and nauseous. And the funny thing was as soon as I started taking shots my symptoms disappeared and I began smiling once again

I am most definitely an ALchy

Hmm i got the same thing when i had alcohol withdrawals. Opiates fucking killed the DT's. I dunno why they would considering they can actually cause convulsions.

A benzo like valium is a much safer option no doubt.

Now im sipping a vodka and lemonade. I wonder how long it will be before i cut out the mix and drink from the bottle .

 

[phactor]

Things are going really really well for me. Still sticking to the 4 beer or less limit. Going to knock it down to three monday and stick with that till friday. Taking tons of walks and exercising, as well as plenty of supplements.

Not sure if I'm going to celebrate over the weekend. I may go out for one or two.

 

[phactor]

Now im sipping a vodka and lemonade. I wonder how long it will be before i cut out the mix and drink from the bottle .

Have you maybe thought about switching to beer? Or do you not like it, if you don't that could be a good thing.

Anyways I too used to be on the no opiates=heavy booze cycle so I know what you are going through. Personally, I wasn't able to cut back on the amount I drank until I got off of the daily opiate use.

 

[Ryka]

Has anyone else in this thread ever worried about what would happen if you didn't do everything perfectly?

The moment you attain some level of sobriety, are you left with the paralyzing fear of how others will judge you if you falter, however slightly, even if nothing bad happens?

It's enough to drive a person back to the bottle.

Well, I'm less than perfect tonight... Only a beer with the neighbor but still less than perfect...then home to open and finish a bottle of wine.

Angelsmoke...thanks for the words of encouragement...I'll keep trying...thankfully no self loathing at this point...it's better than a few lines of coke or meth right? We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Always try, try again.

 

[Ryka]

And why am I an alcoholic...not an alcohol addict? It seems so much more acceptable than an "addict". Maybe that's just too me, since I've heard the word since I could comprehend language.
Oh yeah, make that a functioning alcoholic!

 

[burn out]

And why am I an alcoholic...not an alcohol addict? It seems so much more acceptable than an "addict". Maybe that's just too me, since I've heard the word since I could comprehend language.
Oh yeah, make that a functioning alcoholic!

And why is an alcohol overdose called "alcohol poisoning" when with every other drug we call it an overdose? It seems people are reluctant to admit that alcohol is a drug and thus they use different terms to describe its effects because if they used the same terms, then it would seem more like alcohol was a drug.

 

[db2305]

I went home and had 2 small cans Budweiser but for once managed to leave it at that, had something to eat and went to bed. I didn't get any real buzz from the beer at all.

I hope I'll be able to stay on those lines.

It sounds like a lot of us have the same problem around filling an evening without wanting a drink, I wonder why that is?

 

[Spurs_1882]

And why is an alcohol overdose called "alcohol poisoning" when with every other drug we call it an overdose? It seems people are reluctant to admit that alcohol is a drug and thus they use different terms to describe its effects because if they used the same terms, then it would seem more like alcohol was a drug.

Good point, very true.

 

[Mariposa]

Checking in. I am very proud of the progress our newcomers to this thread are making, along with us oldtimers. Special congrats to you, db, on that healthy liver.

I have not had any hard liquor or even wine in several weeks now. I drank a bunch of cider last night but just felt really full, not drunk. No alcohol-related moodswings, no drama. I'm enjoying drinking again and doing so responsibly.

Cutting out hard liquor and limiting myself to *truly* moderate drinking has done more for my self-esteem and returned me the control I lacked over alcohol. It turns out that the "powerlessness" over alcohol that sets the most devout 12-steppers "free" was not a philosophy I could comfortably adopt. When I took the power over alcohol usage back into my own hands instead of berating myself, staying within the constraints of moderation didn't seem as hard.

I may be rationalizing, as addicts so often do. But now I don't feel as "oppressed". With the right to drink comes the responsibility to drink wisely. I didn't see myself running to a meeting or calling a sponsor for the rest of my life if I wanted to have a beer at the end of a hot day.

To this end, I'm looking into some resources that promote a harm reduction model of drinking rather than abstinence-only. I'll post them here and in the resources thread.

Everyone who is still drinking: please take care of yourselves and consider eliminating high proof spirits from your drinking repertoire while you are trying to cut down. This is the one definitive step I know has worked for me - try it, it might work for you too.

 

[Ryka]

Mariposa I really like the idea of harm reduction for alcohol, I'll see what I can find out there too...and thanks for the encouragement...I'm glad you are doing better too.

I bought a bottle of wine yesterday to have today, well I drank it yesterday, such as life...I did accomplish a few things this week though. 1. I've admitted to having a problem with alcohol and even though I'm not a 12 stepper nor do i believe i ever will be, that is the first step. 2. I've stayed clean and sober for 48 hours plus for the first time in...I really don't know how long. 3. I've found a place I can share with other people who won't judge me. 4. In a way i can't quite verbalize: I have found why I've justified my dabblings with coke and E and meth, because at least I'm not drinking.

It's the weekend, it's beautiful sunny southern CA and I'm not going to try and fool myself with not drinking but I AM going to make better choices.

Next week's goal: 3 days sober.

 

[phactor]

Went out last night and had about 6 or 7 beers, I was pretty buzzed but not drunk. Me and my friend went out and met up with some other buddies from high school. We were defiantly the most sober people out of the group. Which is crazy because we were the biggest drinkers of the group at one point. Kinda felt good actually.

Anyways, the 6 or 7 really wasn't worth it today. I have had increased anxiety all day. I'm not hungover but I certainly didn't sleep well either. My body just cannot handle it like it used too.

Anyways, I'm still planning on going for 3 on Monday. Yesterday was the first time I went over my personal limit in something like 9 or 10 days. Not bad.

 

[burn out]

Mariposa I really like the idea of harm reduction for alcohol, I'll see what I can find out there too...and thanks for the encouragement...I'm glad you are doing better too.

I bought a bottle of wine yesterday to have today, well I drank it yesterday, such as life...I did accomplish a few things this week though. 1. I've admitted to having a problem with alcohol and even though I'm not a 12 stepper nor do i believe i ever will be, that is the first step. 2. I've stayed clean and sober for 48 hours plus for the first time in...I really don't know how long. 3. I've found a place I can share with other people who won't judge me. 4. In a way i can't quite verbalize: I have found why I've justified my dabblings with coke and E and meth, because at least I'm not drinking.

It's the weekend, it's beautiful sunny southern CA and I'm not going to try and fool myself with not drinking but I AM going to make better choices.

Next week's goal: 3 days sober.

Harm reduction for alcohol is really simple: The less alcohol you consume, the less harm it does to you.

Of course there are other things, like what they have in those alcohol: facts for teens pamphlets such as don't drink more than one drink per hour and drink one glass of water in between each alcoholic drink and don't drink more than 3 or 4 drinks in any given day. But not many people actually follow these guidelines, especially not drunks.

 

[Ryka]

Harm reduction for alcohol is really simple: The less alcohol you consume, the less harm it does to you.

Couldn't agree more but that is true for drugs in general...

I guess I'm not really looking for harm reduction as much as something besides a: 12 step if you don't love Jesus and ever touch a drink again you are WRONG! type of thing.

For me just being here has helped me know I'm not the only one with these feelings...and helped me not want to get the paranoia, tingles, etc.

Phactor good job on your Friday night!!!

 

[ocean]

Next week's goal: 3 days sober.

Good Luck!
Keep us posted!

 

[phactor]

Did fine last night. Had a friend over and watched a White Sox game and then a Blackhawks game. Had 4 beers.

I have been able to cut back on my "drinking hours". Its nice not drinking right before I go to bed.

Still taking supplements and that is really helping.

 

[myles p]

that blackhawks game sucked im from vancouver ...

i have been drunk for five days and this is getting out of hand, im at the point where it is not fun at all and im only drinking because im scared ill shake like a fucker if i stop... so nasty and gross

 

[n3ophy7e]

Awww myles *hugs*
Do you think you could start to taper off the amount you're drinking every day?? As Mariposa suggested, try and cut out the highproof stuff and try to cut down the actual amount of alcohol you're drinking. I know you can do it man, you NEED to do it. Let us know how you go, and always feel free to PM me if you need to talk to someone okay??

Mariposa I am so proud of you hun!! You are an inspiration to us all

 

[db2305]

Checking in - what a weekend. Family issues took the stress levels up about 300%. Why can't my mum and dad look after themselves, you'd think once in your 60s you'd stop bickering wouldn't you - and they're both remarried, too! I ended up having a bottle of white on both Fri & Sat evening, I felt as though I let myself down really. But on the positive side; I didn't really enjoy it and I had no hangover. I'm going to have a dry week this week and plan to stick to beer next weekend - if I feel like drinking.

Well done to all, and I too am really interested in the harm reduction idea, I am wondering about the usual, ie vitamin supplements etc. I'm sure my lucky results are down to drinking at least 3-4 litres of water a day. I really can't see the AA thing working for me.