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alcoholism thread [merged]

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Checking in. Thanks Ocean <3

Severe life stress drove me back to the bottle. But I have abstained today and am going to AA tonight at the advice of my therapist. I will update my own thread in greater detail. I still am not 100% on board with their approach but I am motivated not to pick up the first drink in this moment.

I was able to drink socially on Sunday with an out of town friend without any drama, and did not do so to excess.

I cannot drink to excess this weekend as one of my best friends is being honored at a not-boozy professional event I have helped to plan. I am doing my best not to drink at all.

n3o - the primary reason I caved was because of a family situation - I am not too happy with them at the moment so I'm keeping my distance.
 
Kyk said:
Does anyone else just drink to alleviate boredom?
Click to expand...

This is a big one for me. I work at home, and I've gotten into the habit of drinking throughout my shift, because I find this job so mind -numbingly boring and isolating.

Anyway, I've started taking naltrexone again. I've had success with it in the past, I suppose it's just hard to continue taking it.
 
Mariposa- I am sending you positive vibes!
You are a strong-independent woman and will overcome this- :)
I will look for your update after tonights meeting in your thread.........

N3o- how'd it go this past weekend?

Red- How are you doin'???
 
zigzag| dta said:
i drink.

a lot.

in fact its almost impossible for me to go to sleep unless ive had quite a few drinks.


i usually start drinking in the afternoon and continue until i go to sleep.

unless i have work, then i just play catch up after work.

the thing is, i know i have a problem(its caused me to have a stomach ulcer, which is rather painful) but i dont have any real desire to quit.
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are you certain it's an ulcer? what test(s) have you had to determine that?
 
Anyone else have intense remorse after over indulging even when they didn't hardly do anything out of line? I think I'm two days abstinent and have no desire right now but I'm finding the period of intense regret is longer and more intense.

Anyways even though I can have a fairly moderate drinking day it always seem to quickly escalate and become a crisis real or imagined, so without making any solemn vows I'm planning on letting the stuff go for a considerable period.
 
zig zag if you think you have a stomach ulcer you need to get it checked out by your doctor. Contrary to previous belief, stomach ulcers are actually caused by an overgrowth of E.coli bacteria in the gut. The symptoms are exacerbated by alcohol, stress, spicy and greasy foods, amongst other things. So the actual ulcer is easily treatable once it has been properly diagnosed.
You could also be suffering from gastritis (i.e. inflammation of the stomach lining) due to your excessive drinking. I know I suffer from this whenever I have extended periods of binge-drinking. See if you can buy some L-glutamine powder from a health food supplement store and take 1 heaped teaspoon mixed in warm water twice daily. You should feel relief within a few days <3

Enki I know precisely what you mean. I never ever used to be remorseful about binge-drinking. But now when I wake up the morning after not only do I feel like shit with the hangover, but I'm depressed and full of regret for having given in so deeply and hopelessly. Obviously this will be worse if I've done anything stupid while hideously drunk the night before. And yes, I find it gets a little bit worse each time. So I totally know where you're coming from. Please feel free to PM me any time if you need to talk to someone about it.
Good luck with abstaining for a little while. You're doing the right thing <3

ocean, thanks for your concern hun. Friday night was great, I didn't drink at all! I absolutely cannot recall a single Friday night that I haven't had a drink in my entire adult life 8o So it was definitely a real achievement, and I was appropriately proud.
Saturday night I had at least 3 bottles of wine, and I felt aptly shithouse on Sunday morning. Got the shakes and anxiety so I quelled my symptoms with a couple of glasses of wine on Sunday night and that was the end of that.
Not too bad considering my usual drinking patterns on weekends.

Mariposa I wish you all the best hun, you already know this but quitting drinking is a long journey. There will be periods of calm and periods of turbulence with all the trials and tribulations in between. So just keep it at, you're doing brilliantly <3

My update: I haven't had a drink all week, and I feel fantastic. We're going out with drinking my partner's best mates on Saturday night (it's been about a year since we had a proper piss-up!) But I don't really enjoy being trashy-drunk out in public so I probably won't get too messy. We'll see...
 
Hiyya guys & gals, hope you're all doing okay!
Enki said:
Anyone else have intense remorse after over indulging even when they didn't hardly do anything out of line? ... so without making any solemn vows I'm planning on letting the stuff go for a considerable period.
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Oh yeh the post-drinking remorse sits pretty heavily with me too. I keep vowing to cut down but keep caving in. I've had two sober days this week though, spurned on by an increasingly jiggly belly & equatorial regions more than a desire to be sober though. 8) Hope you have better luck than me with your abstinence!

@n30, nice work having a sober friday night, I wouldn't be too hung up about drinking a bit on the saturday and sunday, it happens. I'd say having an entire week sober after that would more than make up for it in the health-stakes :)

@mariposa, it sounds like you are doing pretty well all things considered. Drinking in moderation and planning on doing so again this weekend are certainly commendable. Keep us updated on your AA experiences.
 
I kicked my alchy roomie out finally .. But now there's room in my fridge for some ice cold beers ...
With the warm/sunny weather (some days!) beer after work is irresistable. I've been smokin homegrown non-stop, which usually lets me cut way back on boozin', but I'm really hurtin for a Henry Weinhard's right now...
 
^ I know what you mean about Spring-like weather making it all the more difficult not to drink. Yesterday I was thinking I would like nothing more than to sit outside on a patio, eat a salad and drink a couple beers. I didn't, though. I'm glad you kicked your roommate out. He sounded like an extremely bad influence. If you were able to stay sober even a day around that guy I think you have a much brighter future now. :)

I've been abstinent for 5 days now. I *really* hope to make it through the weekend.

I feel really healthy. I think I'm almost over the insomnia. I woke up this morning without feeling incredibly tired. I haven't felt this way after waking up in a long time.

Another benefit I think I've noticed is a decrease in anxiety. I have minor attacks still but it doesn't take me down as far. I think my anxiety was fueling my "the whole world is complete suffering and humanity is awful" 'realization'. I never had thoughts like that nearly as often or to that intensity before I started drinking hardcore.

All in all, things sound to be going pretty well or at least better for everyone. That makes me so happy. :)
 
^Wow, that is awesome AR :) :) :) I am very proud of you!

I did fine with ONE special cider I got to fight off a little residual anxiety. Odd as this may sound, the benzos don't do it for the end-stage anxiety. I honestly should have done a better taper rather than depend on cold turkey/benzos. I am not currently tolerant to my low-dose benzos. I saw that becoming a potential issue.

No shakes, no insomnia, no hangover (it was a 22 oz bottle of pomegranate cider, 5% alcohol, with a meal). My brain seems to finally be seeking its own level. As long as I avoid hard alcohol and limit myself to 1-2 drinks a couple times per week, this moderation thing might work after all.

No alcohol today - just not in the mood.

People do strange things when they feel helpless and deprived.
 
^ Glad to hear it darling. :) :)

I too am on the 'I'm not going to give up drinking in moderation' bandwagon. I think living like that is sort of absurd. At least, for me it is.

However, I can't let myself drink at all, yet.

Eventually I hope to be in your shoes too posa. <3
 
burn out said:
are you certain it's an ulcer? what test(s) have you had to determine that?
Click to expand...

went to the doctor. he did various tests or whatever. im on nexium right now to control it. it usually makes me feel better


n3, i will try that



and my drinking has slowed down a bit, been doing lots of work around the house, building fixing and what not. keeping myself occupied.

i still drink everyday, just not as much
 
(sorry it's long. A bit of a ramble about my experiences with drink)

Just want to say to you all.... stick with it! Alcohol is such a hard one... it's so easy to get, so socially acceptable.... and we're so conditioned to think that alcohol is appropriate in a situation (like the "mmm, perfect cold beer outside on summer's day" thing).

I was never an alcoholic, but I did have a drinking problem. I'd drink about 8 cans of lager in an evening, on my own (because if I get drunk around people I fight with them). Next day be too hungover to get drunk, but maybe have a couple of cans to help me sleep. Next day 8 cans. Weekend... bottle of rum or a few bottles of wine... you get the idea.

I promised myself I'd stop (at least in the week) and 'couldn't' -- just couldn't fight the urge.

I still don't really understand that urge. I guess it's familiar to many people here... I WANT a drink. I want one so much... and because the shop is right there, you just think "meh, ok".

I got in trouble for taking so many sick days off work... and felt so depressed and out of control. Got referred to a drugs and alcohol counsellor by my GP.... who told me it was my fault because I didn't make an effort to be more social. Finally, I ended up seeing a £140 an hour psychiatrist (thank god for medical insurance), and he said:
- exercise when I get home from work
- Zopiclone to sleep
- The reason you feel so anxious and stressed is because you have a perpetual hangover
- Don't drink. Forget about everything else - your one purpose this week is to not drink.

It's so weird - there's nothing profound or groundbreaking there AT ALL. But I did it, and I've got drunk about 5 times in the last 10 months :)

Ok, so I wasn't an *alcoholic*, and I had no physical addiction. But I honestly never thought I could beat my problem. I really thought that I might be stuck with drinking that much for the rest of my life... and it was only getting worse. I was scraping by at work and paying all the bills.... but the misery, guilt, anxiety that came with hangovers was so hard to bear.

It's great on the other side. Ok, I don't think I've ever suddenly realised how beautiful the world is, nor have all my problems gone away. I have time to keep my flat tidy, to eat properly. My sleeping patterns have stabilised.... I no longer spend all Saturday being sick... I'm no longer plagued by all the things I need to do but "don't have time".
Scary things make me scared now. Before.... the haze of hangover stopped me from really feeling anything at all... apart from despair at drinking.

The best thing though, is to know that you were strong enough to beat it. Relapses happen... but if you stayed sober for 2 days before you drank again.... give yourself a break and be proud of yourself for managing those 2 days. If you can quiet the self loathing "I'm useless, I can't do this" voice, you're halfway there :)
 
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^ That was uplifting! Thanks. :) Glad to see a success story. Perhaps I should get a shrink to talk to about this specifically.

That said I have to disagree with you on something.

I might have (had?, I dunno) a slight physical addiction myself but I really don't think those who are physically addicted are necessarily more or less of alcoholics than those who aren't, IME. :\
 
AmorRoark said:
I might have (had?, I dunno) a slight physical addiction myself but I really don't think those who are physically addicted are necessarily more or less of alcoholics than those who aren't, IME. :\
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My "I wasn't an alcoholic" thing was perhaps more because there are people posting who seem to have it worse than I did. I didn't want to accidentally insult someone with a "I've been there" attitude when I haven't. And yes, I agree that you can be an alcohol without a physical addiction, definitely!
 
^ Very cool. Sorry to make assumptions about your opinions on alcoholism. Cheers. :)
 
zigzag| dta said:
went to the doctor. he did various tests or whatever. im on nexium right now to control it. it usually makes me feel better


n3, i will try that



and my drinking has slowed down a bit, been doing lots of work around the house, building fixing and what not. keeping myself occupied.

i still drink everyday, just not as much
Click to expand...

i don't mean to pry, but what various tests? i agree with n3, that its almost certain you have alcoholic gastritis and perhaps not even an ulcer.
 
^

acute pancreatitis can cause stomach pain while drinking, and while drinking bring out a lot of other symptoms which may not be that noticeable otherwise, or seem unrelated.

chronic pancreatitis on the other hand is bad, and very painful, it would be much more obvious. if you do have pancreatitis, it can become chronic from alcohol consumption.

Acute pancreatitis

Acute pancreatitis is a sudden inflammation that occurs over a short period of time. In the majority of cases, acute pancreatitis is caused by gallstones or heavy alcohol use. Other causes include medications, infections, trauma, metabolic disorders, and surgery. In about 10% to 15% of people with acute pancreatitis, the cause is unknown.

The severity of acute pancreatitis may range from mild abdominal discomfort to a severe, life-threatening illness. However, the majority of people with acute pancreatitis (more than 80 percent) recover completely after receiving the appropriate treatment.

In very severe cases, acute pancreatitis can result in bleeding into the gland, serious tissue damage, infection, and cyst formation. Severe pancreatitis can also cause damage if enzymes and toxins are released into the bloodstream, which can harm other vital organs such as the heart, lungs, and kidneys.
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more info from Web MD
 
Ugh, I got the shakes, lethargy and some hellacious depression going on right now after a sober night... this shit's gotta stop. Thing is, it's no better after night of drinking at this point.
 
Kyk said:
Does anyone else just drink to alleviate boredom?
Click to expand...

This has been the main problem for years for me. I'm gonna be honest. Its not like I am waking up hungover, but for whatever reason I need to have a few at the end of the day.
 
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