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The Big & Dandy HPPD Thread

LOL nobody thinks you're stupid ..... but the people claiming the the odd visual or weird effect was hppd is annoying to someone who really has suffered. It trivialises the whole illness whereas I can't impress how horrible it is to be stuck inside a mad psychotic state and know that you are, but still not be able to break free.
 
It wouldn't seem unreasonable to catergorise HPPD as visual disturbance which persists for some time after the effect of the drug has worn off. That being the case I'd guess most people who take psychedelics have had some degree of HPPD.
I think one of the main factors in exacerbating any case of HPPD is how you deal with it. It seems that anxiety is fairly common with HPPD. Which leads to more noticeable symptoms & so it goes on.
I've had persistence of visual effects from psychedelics on several occassions over the years. I regard these as an occupational hazard & know that they will subside in time. The first time I ever had this effect I didn't know what was going on & that stressed me, that episode lasted far longer than anything subsequently has done. The key to getting out of that situation was learning to stop reacting (stressing about what was happening to me, like "argh am I going MAD" :\ ) & letting it go - just like you do when you hit a difficult patch during a trip.
It can become quite severe if you really hammer psychs & persist for some time - be prepared to suspend your panic reactions for up to hmm maybe a couple of years :)
 
I disagree - I think there's a huge difference between getting vague visual disturbances and fully blown hppd, which is a real mental illness. To class "real" hppd as just really bad persisting visual disturbances coupled with an anxious nature is to dumb down what some people really go through. We have someone in our channel right now whose entire personality has changed and it's really obvious that he's going through a really distressing time, which has also made his reasoning skewed, paranoia develop and caused him to be really abusive for no good reason, which are just not in any way character traits of the person we knew beforehand and had known for some time.

I've had visual disturbance which persisted for some time after some trips and it is nothing like the weeks I more or less had full psychosis ie hppd. We had an earlier channel member affected, and he never did get fully back to normal, he's now rid himself of any association with anything drug related and turned into the equivalent of an ex-smoker or a vegetarian.

And DexterMeth that's a rather pointless truism.
 
i have it and i must say that it is horrible. I missed the week before spring break and had to come home cause i was tweaking out so bad. days seemed to last weeks and at one point i looked into my bathroom mirror and imagined little creatures coming out of the corner of my eye. spent most of the week curled up in the bathroom convinced that i would at best be as f'd up as i was permanently and at worst would slip into a violent delusional state. however after a week it got better. I still have some issues with it but i can function pretty much normally. that was two years ago but then again i take adderal sometimes and smoke the ganj every now and then. Luckily my parents were and are supportive and dident freak out, i have some great friends that helped me as well.
 
Well I would say I have very slight HPPD, which I actually like. When I close my eyes theres more activity going on in that blackness than before. I notice is seems like the black overlay ripples sometimes like a body of water. I also sometimes see (mainly when trying to sleep or tired) like waves of grayish yellowness like start from the outside and come circularly inwards (Kinda hard to explain). And yeah just more stuf goes on when I close my eyes, and sometimes when I have them open there is this slight black static on some things.
 
I hope someone can explain this to me. I just had a night of.. delerium. And I've not done any substances for close to half a year. Basically, last night I felt incredibly uncomfortable, restless. I first attributed it to drinking too much coffee throughout the day (I last drank a double-shot espresso at 8 p.m.) and maybe eating too late (I ate a meal at 10:00 p.m.).

But what happened eventually is that I lost it. The most negative thoughts surfaced and I could not escape them. I kept going over and over them. Finally, I lost the capacity to think coherently and any attempt to just 'let it go' made me drift into an incoherent psychedelic-like trance, where most stimuli was driving me insane. To top it off, a repetitive trance song started playing, and looking at objects in my room made my anxiety build up. I felt like some elements of my room were building up to something.. against me. Like they were conspiring. I know this doesn't make sense and I even knew it then, but I couldn't do much about it then. I knew that this thought came out of an incoherent and illogical abyss of my mind. I didn't try to rationalize it because in the back of my mind I knew it was stupid to begin with.

In the end, I won. I walked around the room a bit, noting that I am either slightly tripping or dreaming, then I concentrated on coherent, positive thoughts.

What worries me, though, is that this isn't the first time this has happened. It happened many nights immediately following a rather traumatic 5-meo-dmt trip. So now my worry is that if I ever find myself being unable to fall asleep and I grow agitated, my mind may slip to this psychedelic stupor.

Has anyone else had these kinds of symptoms?
 
^How often do you take LSD/shrooms? Your not gonna go crazy, you may just become a loved up weirdo though.....The best bet is to use a psychedelic no more then once a week at the absolute most. At least, that level of usage gives me the most benefits without the negatives of increased existential anxiety and social awkwardness.

white_magic said:
I hope someone can explain this to me. I just had a night of.. delerium. And I've not done any substances for close to half a year. Basically, last night I felt incredibly uncomfortable, restless. I first attributed it to drinking too much coffee throughout the day (I last drank a double-shot espresso at 8 p.m.) and maybe eating too late (I ate a meal at 10:00 p.m.).

But what happened eventually is that I lost it. The most negative thoughts surfaced and I could not escape them. I kept going over and over them. Finally, I lost the capacity to think coherently and any attempt to just 'let it go' made me drift into an incoherent psychedelic-like trance, where most stimuli was driving me insane. To top it off, a repetitive trance song started playing, and looking at objects in my room made my anxiety build up. I felt like some elements of my room were building up to something.. against me. Like they were conspiring. I know this doesn't make sense and I even knew it then, but I couldn't do much about it then. I knew that this thought came out of an incoherent and illogical abyss of my mind. I didn't try to rationalize it because in the back of my mind I knew it was stupid to begin with.

In the end, I won. I walked around the room a bit, noting that I am either slightly tripping or dreaming, then I concentrated on coherent, positive thoughts.

What worries me, though, is that this isn't the first time this has happened. It happened many nights immediately following a rather traumatic 5-meo-dmt trip. So now my worry is that if I ever find myself being unable to fall asleep and I grow agitated, my mind may slip to this psychedelic stupor.

Has anyone else had these kinds of symptoms?
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While I haven't experienced the same symptoms, after using salvia for the first time, I was in an altered state of conciousness for several months- the slightest visual misinterpreation became looming monsters in the corner of my eye (stupid big brown chair tricking me so)....One thing I would suggest is that you may be having panic attacks. The idea of "things conspiring" against you is very typical of the panic state- as we cannot locate a stimulus for the panic, we start "seeing" it all over the place.

I would suggest you read up on sleep paralysis and hypnagogic hallucinations. The point between waking and sleeping, where we retain conciousness of both the dream world and reality, can be the most intense place to dwell. The fact you knew your thoughts wern't rational is good, as it suggest there is no psychosis. But yeah, I would lay of the coffee late at night, plus eating before sleeping can induce some weird dreamstates.....If your persistenly having such experiences, I'd go speak to a doctor- I don't believe your experienceing any form of mental illness, but the mind can create numerous weird places- it appears you've opened one up and need to figure out how to either live with it or shut it again. FWIW, 5-Meo-DMT is a drug I am increasingly wary about, and would almost define as a panicogen.

Hope I've helped a bit- remember, the human brain experiences mystcial states whether on drugs or not- if it happens again, explore it :)
 
swilow said:
While I haven't experienced the same symptoms, after using salvia for the first time, I was in an altered state of conciousness for several months- the slightest visual misinterpreation became looming monsters in the corner of my eye (stupid big brown chair tricking me so)....One thing I would suggest is that you may be having panic attacks. The idea of "things conspiring" against you is very typical of the panic state- as we cannot locate a stimulus for the panic, we start "seeing" it all over the place.

I would suggest you read up on sleep paralysis and hypnagogic hallucinations. The point between waking and sleeping, where we retain conciousness of both the dream world and reality, can be the most intense place to dwell. The fact you knew your thoughts wern't rational is good, as it suggest there is no psychosis. But yeah, I would lay of the coffee late at night, plus eating before sleeping can induce some weird dreamstates.....If your persistenly having such experiences, I'd go speak to a doctor- I don't believe your experienceing any form of mental illness, but the mind can create numerous weird places- it appears you've opened one up and need to figure out how to either live with it or shut it again. FWIW, 5-Meo-DMT is a drug I am increasingly wary about, and would almost define as a panicogen.

Hope I've helped a bit- remember, the human brain experiences mystcial states whether on drugs or not- if it happens again, explore it :)
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Swilow, thanks for that and especially for using precise terms to describe exactly what I'm experiencing. I'd say it's safe to assume that I might have PTSD from 5-meo and that I really fear that mindstate. Also, it's accurate to say that the neurons in my brain have made those unfortunate connections, making it easy to jump into that mindstate.

Fortunately, I've kind of learned to deal with it. I was lucky that last night's episode had only about 1/5th the intensity of the previous experiences. As a side point, all of these are slightly reminiscent of the actual 5-meo experiences, which were so unimaginably intense that I dare not fully consider more specific differences.

I suppose it's easy enough to avoid the possibility of this mindstate by ensuring regular bedtimes and stopping caffeine binges. I think I'll also cut out video games and more intense electronic music for a little while..

As for exploring that mindset.. I don't know about that. While I actually laugh about it even while it occurs, and even moreso in retrospect, I just don't know how I could actually explore it because it is just so damn irrational and makes no sense. Also, I should mention that every once in a while, after going to sleep, I'll see quite vivid, nonsensical visuals. Usually they're just a fascinating and cute interlude between wakefullness and sleep and come naturally. Yesterday, it seems like they were precipitated by negative thoughts which themselves might have been a result of a caffeine crash. However, in both cases they come into a state of mind where I'm not 100% in control.

And I'm certainly afraid of facing it head on, because I don't want to dig myself deeper in. Some of the things I've tried doing (or not doing?) actually worsened it. Trying to ignore the general conspiratory vibe of the room made more specific objects like the file cabinet and the pillow become more lifelike and sinister. In another case, I got vertigo and I severely lost balance.

It does seem somehow that I'm being taught a lesson in that when I neglect real things in real life, I get haunted by imaginary things..

5-meo, the 'gift that keeps on giving'..
 
There is one camp ground that when the sun falls i get tracers, doesn't happen anywhere else....

Weed will occasionally induce mild fractals and movement in stationary objects, along with patterns forming on ceilings...

I see various colors when i close my eyes when trying to go to sleep..

and White Magic, i have had a sort of similar experience with waking up feeling like im in a heavily alerted state.

The first i woke up in a fever delirium, i woke up in my bed covered in sweat babbling what i knew would sound incoherent to anyone who heard, but to me it all made sense. Eventually i felt like i needed to puke so i puked and passed out somewhere on the floor. Woke up feeling fine but very much weirded out with what had happened.

The other time i woke up in a much more pleasant form of insanity, but looking back im not really sure if i was awake for any of it or if it was just an incredibly vivid dream. I was tripping balls, and everything seemed very much real other than the psychedelic thought patterns running through my head. Eventually i went back to sleep and i woke up feeling fine....
 
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Izzdan said:
I see on occasion still these really bright tiny dots floating in the air ..of course they aren't there ..but kinda neat sometimes ..not sure why seeing dots is but it is ..haven't tripped in like 5 years though ..maybe it was the E ..haven't done that in 2 years ..either way was from one of the two ..
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I get the same thing. Really bright white dots floating around, almost metallic, like really reflective. It only happens every once in a while tho. The last time I tripped I combo'd 2c-e and some good acid, I think that's what started it. It doesn't really bother me tho.
 
jamaica0535 said:
and White Magic, i have had a sort of similar experience with waking up feeling like im in a heavily alerted state.

The first i woke up in a fever delirium, i woke up in my bed covered in sweat babbling what i knew would sound incoherent to anyone who heard, but to me it all made sense. Eventually i felt like i needed to puke so i puked and passed out somewhere on the floor. Woke up feeling fine but very much weirded out with what had happened.

The other time i woke up in a much more pleasant form of insanity, but looking back im not really sure if i was awake for any of it or if it was just an incredibly vivid dream. I was tripping balls, and everything seemed very much real other than the psychedelic thought patterns running through my head. Eventually i went back to sleep and i woke up feeling fine....
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How interesting! What substances do you hold most responsible for these dream-like states?
 
white_magic said:
How interesting! What substances do you hold most responsible for these dream-like states?
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Well i think the first was just brought on by a fever.... A day or two before i had tried propylhexedrine (benzedrex inhaler) for shits and giggles... no other real drugs... maybe that somehow brought about the fever but i cant know for sure....

As far as the other various psychs i had done up to that point, LSD more times than i could keep track of, shrooms once, salvia a couple times, some piperazine rolls once, dramamine in a sub deliriant dose once, and large amounts of weed....
 
I currently do not have HPPD even though I consider myself quite a regulair user of psychedelics. I do know what HPPD looks and feels like because I had something extremely similair to it for about three months in the summer of 2005. I had done magic mushrooms a bit - too- often that summer and experienced no problems until I got glandular fever. The first three months of having that illness I got nearly constant flashbacks probably due to the tiredness. As soon as the illness cleared, so did the HPPD. I have used mushrooms more often áfter then before and after that many, many LSD trips and I've never had more then a 1 minute flashback the week after a trip, so I expect tiredness is a very likely cause of HPPD or atleast prone to making it worse.

I consider myself quite lucky it went away after those three months as it was somewhat unpleasant. I keep myself to limits of how often I trip just to avoid it happening again but I've had a few periods where I didn't leave that much time in between trips yet the HPPD never came back, so I'm convinced that for me it was the illness that triggered it. Just thought I'd post it as its not a common HPPD story.
 
jamaica0535 said:
Well i think the first was just brought on by a fever.... A day or two before i had tried propylhexedrine (benzedrex inhaler) for shits and giggles... no other real drugs... maybe that somehow brought about the fever but i cant know for sure....

As far as the other various psychs i had done up to that point, LSD more times than i could keep track of, shrooms once, salvia a couple times, some piperazine rolls once, dramamine in a sub deliriant dose once, and large amounts of weed....
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I hadn't read that closely. Without a doubt, a fever can bring true delirium unlike most drugs and it's unlikely they had an impact.
 
For years after several 5 meo amt experiences I saw a greenish rainbow halo around lights at night. Distant headlights and streetlights were prime examples. It has faded with time and no longer happens.

I still see a wall ripple once in a while. I can remember the toilet paper getting kinda wavy on me about a month ago in the shitter. That was probably from the acid or shrooms I've done.
 
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