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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Cutting v. 2

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drug_wench said:
oh pillthrill, hun, ur so hard on urself - i wish i cud take some of ur pain away cos ur such a sweet caring lady!
it doesnt matter that uve cut - its happened now
time to move on and just continue to try and work out strategies for not cutting any more

u need to tell sean its not him that causes it, and its not u being a 'shitty gf' either - its this shitty condition u hav that u battle with evryday
and that his being there for u actually helps u fight it!

wen u say ur craving needles, if u use a needle (even if its just for sterile water/saline rather than drugs, which is wat i do.....i seriously suggest u try to avoid IV drug use) plz do ur research into where ur local needle exchange is and get clean needles
learn to inject safely before beginning
and dont reuse them as blunt needles damage ur veins
again tho, try and avoid starting any form of needle use
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We don't have a needle exchange. Maybe an hour or 2 away. Blunt needles are the norm for me 10 times and then maybe I'll break the tip off to stop. But I don't think I'll go back there, and if I did...there is NO way to could tell Sean. Secrets eat away at you...
 
Pillthrill said:
We don't have a needle exchange. Maybe an hour or 2 away. Blunt needles are the norm for me 10 times and then maybe I'll break the tip off to stop. But I don't think I'll go back there, and if I did...there is NO way to could tell Sean. Secrets eat away at you...
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i suggest no shooting at all then - no wonder it hurts if ur using blunt needles
if the tip broke off inside ur vein u cud b one very sick chick
this is esp a danger if u use those diabetic needles
and u dont want to go back to doing something u feel u hav to hide from sean - that wud not b a gd thing!
stay strong pillthrill - i understand needle cravings but i use clean needles evry time and whether paul likes it or not he knows!
i cant tell u not to go there cos that wud b hypocritical but plz try to think of the consequences of wat u cud b doing in using needles
take care, sweetie
 
Was cutting cardboard for an art project, and my hand slipped. That one's pretty believable. Remember there is also a good sticky thread for cutting right at the top of this forum too : )
 
Depends how deep/size/shape of them... I've said I fell/tripped on the street when I was drunk and cut myself on some glass, was glumsy at the gym and got poked by something metal, was using a box-cutter for something and slipped. Saying it happend when you were drinking usually works the best for me, because people assume you would do something kind of ridiculously stupid already, and that you might not remember it very clearly so the story doesn't need to make COMPLETE sense %)
 
i just wear long sleeves 24/7, no matter how warm it is.. my arms are ripped to shit, there's just no plausible excuse for what i've done to myself over the years, except possibly falling into a meat grinder, or having tangled with a tiger or something.. tops of thighs is the best place for hiding it, i think, because shirts and sleeves can get lifted.. er, not that i'm encouraging you to cut yourself. if you can stop, do stop. don't try to cut yourself deeply, either. most of my scars are 5+ years old, and they're never going to go away.. i don't even know anymore why i ever thought it was a good thing to do..
 
I use the, I got it caught on a bar wire fence for the raised one on my arm, for the kids, I fell out of a tree. Got to have a moral you know.

My shoulder is just scars over scars over scars. There is no excuse so I just don't show it.
The faded long one on my wrist could have been wrist surgery because I took care of it and its so clean. Closed it up pretty good. That helps so you can pass it off as that. But with the ones over it now..I have no idea. I'm a cutter, idk.
 
Just want to share my cutting experience with you guys. I didn't ever cut myself but a few months ago i did it. I didn't do it cause I wanted to feel pain or anything. Actually I tried to kill myself and end my miserable life.
I did it with the cheap shaving razor and if I had bigger and sharper razor I would have done it.
And now after all that is gone I feel really stupid, but I can't say I would not try to do it again.

I just fell deeper with this shit. Now I'm embarrassed to walk around people and need to hide the scars every time and I go out rarely. Shit, I just hate myself. Cheers. ;)
 
Well withme and many of us, the wrists seem to be the place that the urge is to cut. I think it has something to do with the feelings of hopelessness. But its in no way suicidal. People make a lot of assumptions. I've been known to show them the other without a mark on it and say "umm no."
 
Sometimes when I' really drunk, I like to cut the top of my hand. It's more to see how many times I can do it before it starts to hurt or bleed really bad. To me, it's harmless, but I got some sweet looking scars from it.
 
Dr.No said:
Actually I tried to kill myself and end my miserable life.

And now after all that is gone I feel really stupid, but I can't say I would not try to do it again.

I just fell deeper with this shit. Now I'm embarrassed to walk around people and need to hide the scars every time and I go out rarely. Shit, I just hate myself.
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its sad to read this
dr no, i think u must know u hav major self-esteem issues
is there any reason u hate urself so much?
u dont hav to answer that of course and if u didnt want to talk about it in this thread maybe u cud PM me

atm u obviously dont realise it, but oneday i hope u can get to the point where u realise u r worth much more than the way u talk about urself!

i used to hate myself - its taken a long time but thru mainly drug counselling (the old 'why do i do drugs?' - well obviously it was cos i hated myself....) im starting to value myself as a human being
again i say i hope oneday u can start on this sort of journey too
 
Thinking about it. Not because I'm numb or many of the other reaosn people have.. I hurt and I want someone to see it. I want him to see, look how bad I hurt that you are so spiteful. But I think he would only be more mad that I did it.
 
PT, DO NOT DO IT. You need to talk to him and tell him how you're feeling. It's not fair on him if you cut yourself in order to send him a message about how you're feeling inside. You need to give him a chance to know how you're feeling by telling him. He wants you to be happy sweetheart <3
 
^+1
ive never met him but to me it sounds like although he may hav come across as spiteful in watever is going on between u 2, he really loves and cares for u
and talking things out is always best as a first action
 
Don't feel ashamed of cutting yourself. If cutting yourself stops you from killing yourself, then it's nothing to be ashamed of. Every time I look at fresh scars now I think of each one as an extra night I brought myself, even if I can't see the reason why.. :(
 
Hey Raz, I agree that we shouldn't be ashamed of cutting ourselves, because it happens/happened. To be ashamed of it only adds to the negative emotions we already feel about ourselves, thus the vicious cycle continues.

BUT, we should aim to find better coping mechanisms. There are more effective ways to cope than via self-destruction.

<3
 
I think I'm giving in....

I don't necessarily want to, but it's an urge that is always there.

I hope I end up in bed without having done it....
 
^come back on, darl! you know i'm here right now:)

im on the outside, im lookin in
i can see through you, see your true colours
...i can see through you, see you, the real you
 
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