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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Cutting v. 2

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drug_wench said:
i know i know little about cutting but i definitely know about benzos
cutting is a horrible psychological addiction, but it can b worked thru with intensive therapy AFAIK
benzos r a psychological and physical addiction that really fuck u up and take ages to wean off for some ppl, as well as needing drug rehabilitation, etc - take it from someone whos bn there
maybe if u can use benzos occasionally wen the cutting urges r really severe and ur in absolute distress, they cud b helpful
but b very cautious wen using benzos
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I'm on benzos for PTSD, so I'm in it for the long hull considering I suffer from flashbacks w/out them. However, I totally agree that they should not be abused and would only be helpful in a time of crisis if you don't REALLY need them. It's just trading one addiction for another.

Rubber band therapy is supposed to help as well as a coping skill.
 
wingnutlives said:
Went to the hospital and got seven stitches!! I can't believe i went that overboard. What the fuck was i thinking? I need better coping mechanisms for sure.
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Ahh, that's some serious shit. Are you seeing anyone about it? My heart drops to my stomach with stuff like this because I've been there and wouldn't wish it on anyone :(

Hope you're ok.
 
Yeah I am okay... I usually don't cut that deep, I was just intending to scratch but new razors are dangerous! I'm not seeing anyone at the moment - not sure what help it would be since I've been in this habit for ten years now. I'd kinda like to find a therapist who knows about spirituality/metaphysics but the ones i've found are too expensive.
 
wingnutlives said:
Went to the hospital and got seven stitches!! I can't believe i went that overboard. What the fuck was i thinking? I need better coping mechanisms for sure.
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Ughh, honey, I remember that feeling all too well. "I can't believe I did that..." etc.
Not fun at all.
I'm so glad you got it seen to though, the scar will be much less severe with the stitches, and it will also have much less chance of becoming infected.
Take care lovely <3


This is a reminder for anyone who has new razor blades, PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!!!! They are extremely sharp and only the slightest increase in pressure can cause a huge difference in the size/depth of the wound.

Cutting is not an acceptable coping mechanism in the long-term, but if you absolutely must do it, please be careful.

<3
 
I am not a cutter, myself, but I am close to one. He tells me he doesn't really consciously want to do it, but that he kind of "zones out" and ends up feeling compelled. When he's cutting, he says it doesn't really hurt, and then he'll come out of his zone, feel better emotionally, and the pain from his cuts will come rushing in. One time I was falling asleep when I heard him in the bathroom saying "Shit, oh shit, god dammit that hurts" or something like that. It seems morbidly funny to me (sorry if that's messed up).

Anyways, he tells me that he'll get so stressed and that the cutting will make him feel better. Endorphins or something, I guess. At any rate, he doesn't really think about it when it's happening, and he doesn't relish the pain that comes after. I'm not quite sure I understand, but I am trying to.

He doesn't do this for attention (unless it's just me, I guess). I'm the only one who knows, and he's managed to cover most of his scars with tattoos (clever, eh?)

Just trying to understand. Can anyone relate?
 
Glad you got stitches. Jeez I worry... I'm not cutting. I just can't let the bf see it and deal with that.
 
Hey hun, why do you have a scalpel??? Throw it out! Just get rid of it. The urge to cut will be so much easier to overcome if you don't have that niggling thought about that scalpel in the back of your mind.
I'm so glad you're choosing not to cut though <3
 
one_and_only said:
I am not a cutter, myself, but I am close to one. He tells me he doesn't really consciously want to do it, but that he kind of "zones out" and ends up feeling compelled. When he's cutting, he says it doesn't really hurt, and then he'll come out of his zone, feel better emotionally, and the pain from his cuts will come rushing in. One time I was falling asleep when I heard him in the bathroom saying "Shit, oh shit, god dammit that hurts" or something like that. It seems morbidly funny to me (sorry if that's messed up).

Anyways, he tells me that he'll get so stressed and that the cutting will make him feel better. Endorphins or something, I guess. At any rate, he doesn't really think about it when it's happening, and he doesn't relish the pain that comes after. I'm not quite sure I understand, but I am trying to.

He doesn't do this for attention (unless it's just me, I guess). I'm the only one who knows, and he's managed to cover most of his scars with tattoos (clever, eh?)

Just trying to understand. Can anyone relate?
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i use to be like that but then i stopped cutting and burning cause i dono it was jsut too hard to have to wake up in the morning and have blood everywhere.

when i had it i was like in a zone thing like your friend is, and i couldnt feel anythign or even know i was doing it until i started bleeding, then sitll i didnt feel anythign until a few days later when id hit it on things and stuff.
if your friend has anythign like i had chances are he wont understand it either so it will be hard for u to aswell. but really the best thing you can do for him is to just be there for him if he wants to talk and keep his secrect, if noone else knows.


also it really annoys me about razor blades is that you cant get plain razor blades in australia. what is with that!
 
I used to cut but eventually I just stopped. Once in a blue moon it creeps back up on me, but I've gotten really good at resisting the impulse.

The last time I did it (I had a bad moment and slipped) I wrote all over my shower in my own blood and took pictures of it (sick, I know). The next day I looked at the pictures and said "Fuck that!"
But I had another bad moment...had the impulse again a few weeks ago, but instead of cutting I took a pen and wrote on myself.

Stupid and slightly sick, but it worked for me.
 
watever works for u is anything but stupid!
marlborogirl, i also believe u shud get rid of the scalpel
to me that wud b like a recovering junkie having a bag of smack on the bedside table!
plz, look after urselves, all of u
also, not to derail the thread but paingasm, PTSD is a bitch - my bf has it
however his doctor wudnt let him hav benzos for it
hes going to try hypnotherapy or psychotherapy instead - hes currently on citalopram and i personally think its doing him more harm than good
is it possible u cud look at some form of therapy so u dont hav to eventually go thru the inevitable rebound withdrawals clonazepam gives u? of course ud hav to switch to diazepam and taper
i was on clonazepam and wen the rebounds hit i was more anxious than wen i started taking it!
also benzo use daily can cause depression, even if u take it as prescribed, and may add to ur cutting
just a suggestion
 
also, not to derail the thread but paingasm, PTSD is a bitch - my bf has it
however his doctor wudnt let him hav benzos for it
hes going to try hypnotherapy or psychotherapy instead - hes currently on citalopram and i personally think its doing him more harm than good
is it possible u cud look at some form of therapy so u dont hav to eventually go thru the inevitable rebound withdrawals clonazepam gives u? of course ud hav to switch to diazepam and taper
i was on clonazepam and wen the rebounds hit i was more anxious than wen i started taking it!
also benzo use daily can cause depression, even if u take it as prescribed, and may add to ur cutting
just a suggestion
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Tried hypnotherapy... It made it worse. Made it so I can now trigger the panic attacks just by thinking of certain things. The only thing that has worked has been the benzos. I've never really had a problem with depression tho, it has always been anxiety based cutting and feeling a lack of control. Benzos completely curbed that for me.

I actually am going to have to go take a Kpin now thinking of the hypnotherapy... That brought all the stuff I suppressed out. I wish they had stayed hidden. I hate reliving that shit.

It does work for some people tho? And I mean not every med is going to work for every person. I strongly believe most of the prescription process is theory and there is a lot more "miss" than "hit". Which sucks.

Hippotherapy however, has worked wonders for me personally. <3 Benzos and ponies killed my cutting. I'm also on benzos for part of my pain management so I'm kind of stuck with where I am... It helps muscle tension.
 
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Yeah, same here with benzos. Watch it though, I became dependentin the past.
I want to cut. I have for days. I even have new razor blades, althoug running low because between chopping pills which makes them dull as fuck and giving half to Sean I have like one left. I just can't bear to see the look on his face to have him think that he caused it or he is a crappy bf because he can't stop the depression or the suicidal thoughts or the cutting or the drug use. In truth, I think I'm the shitty gf....
 
You are NOT shitty PT, you are a beautiful, loving, caring girlfriend and he is lucky to have you.
You've held out for this long without cutting, please don't give in now.
<3
 
I wish I knew how long so I could say.. just months maybe....
Doesn't matter now. I cut.
Hopefully it will be dark and he won't notice.
But now I crave needles. They seem to hurt more.
 
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oh pillthrill, hun, ur so hard on urself - i wish i cud take some of ur pain away cos ur such a sweet caring lady!
it doesnt matter that uve cut - its happened now
time to move on and just continue to try and work out strategies for not cutting any more

u need to tell sean its not him that causes it, and its not u being a 'shitty gf' either - its this shitty condition u hav that u battle with evryday
and that his being there for u actually helps u fight it!

wen u say ur craving needles, if u use a needle (even if its just for sterile water/saline rather than drugs, which is wat i do.....i seriously suggest u try to avoid IV drug use) plz do ur research into where ur local needle exchange is and get clean needles
learn to inject safely before beginning
and dont reuse them as blunt needles damage ur veins
again tho, try and avoid starting any form of needle use
 
Its unlikely that I will use them. I have in the past with mediacal grade tram, really I just like pain.
 
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^ I'm sorry you've been in so much pain lately PT. Make sure your relationship is helping you not hurting you. <3 I echo the sentiments of telling Sean it's not him. I'm sure you've heard this more than you'd like but have you thought about going to a regularly scheduled appointment with a psychiatrist? Do you? Does it help? If it's not helping maybe find a new one? I know how awful the process of finding a good counselor can be... but I think it's worth it.

Here I am giving out advice when I cut last night. I was pretty drunk. I had an argument with my boyfriend about him talking to my father about getting engaged which led to arguing how I was upset when he wasn't supportive enough of me when my grandfather died last year (ancient history, why did I bring it up?). It did not end well. I closed myself in the bathroom and cut. Great. New scar. Thankfully it wasn't that deep and I was able to go to sleep afterwards. :\
 
I get meds and I'm supposed to drive a half hour to see a therapist, but its hard to get in and its hard to get out of bed often
 
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