• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Cutting v. 2

Status
Not open for further replies.
I want to cut so bad all the time. But I don't want to disappoint Sean. I know he would be that I didn't cope better. Which leaves a lil resentment for the person I love because hes the reason I can't do what I want to do..and I don't want that. I don't know what to do.
 
Last edited:
I think what he is doing is a good thing. It shows that he cares.
What if you wanted to cut and he said, "go ahead, do it?"
You would not be happy with him. When you get the urge to cut try to find some other outlet. Smoke a cigarette, take a shot, or something.
 
Pillthrill said:
I can't cut! I gave my bf a whole handful of razor blades which I thought was big
then later,when I wanted to cut, he said he would do it if I did it. HOW UNFAIR is tha? I don't think thats healthy helping. HELP!
Click to expand...

It really is unfair and they don't seem to realize that it makes you feel like cutting more if they say that and especially if they follow through. Once, my boyfriend and I had a serious fight and I , out of instinct, started clawing at my arms and digging my nails into myself, and he went and got a knife and started cutting himself to make me stop. I ended up hiding in his closet and beating myself in the face with a text book. He realized never to use this method of intervention again, but I do have to say that since that happened I havnt cut. Seeing someone you love hurt themselves is the most terrifying sight in the world and now I see why he reacted so crazy when he saw me hurting myself. For the sake of he people you love, if not yourself, don't cut. It doesn't solve anything and it only makes you remember the pain later when you see the scars. I understand the feeling of needing some way to let all the hurt out, but you really just let blood out. The hurt is still there.
 
laurengotdatfire said:
I understand the feeling of needing some way to let all the hurt out, but you really just let blood out. The hurt is still there.
Click to expand...

well said, lauren
again, i dont understand cutting, but as its similar to drug addiction i do somewat understand from that aspect of things - ur trying to kill the pain but all u do is make that pain worse
 
when your girlfriend cuts... it feels like you, as the boyfriend, failed them... is he failing you? no... but... damn it's hard to understand from the other side. your woman is with you, but she's destroying herself... you walk around with a scarred woman, and other men, and other women, and especially the boyfriend himself, all wonder... why is the boyfriend letting that happen? what is wrong and deficient with him, that he can't keep his woman together and healthy?

I'm single now. I've cut and burned before, but never with a partner... actually that's why I'm single, so I can reserve the right to self-destruct should I want it.

anyways, yeah, I don't really have any sound advice either way, except that you are in a tough situation pillthrill. but where has the cutting gotten you so far? maybe your sean has a better way, even if it's harder, or more painful (as ironic as that sounds).
 
lazydullard said:
when your girlfriend cuts... it feels like you, as the boyfriend, failed them... is he failing you? no... but... damn it's hard to understand from the other side. your woman is with you, but she's destroying herself... you walk around with a scarred woman, and other men, and other women, and especially the boyfriend himself, all wonder... why is the boyfriend letting that happen? what is wrong and deficient with him, that he can't keep his woman together and healthy?

I'm single now. I've cut and burned before, but never with a partner... actually that's why I'm single, so I can reserve the right to self-destruct should I want it.

anyways, yeah, I don't really have any sound advice either way, except that you are in a tough situation pillthrill. but where has the cutting gotten you so far? maybe your sean has a better way, even if it's harder, or more painful (as ironic as that sounds).
Click to expand...

Really well said yeah.

I think the point your BF is trying to get across PT is that when you cut, it's not just you that you hurt. Mentally, emotionally, it hurts everybody around you as well. Maybe he's trying to demonstrate that if you won't stop for your own sake, maybe you should stop for his, if you truly care about him.
 
Well, I'm not trying to guilt-trip Pillthrill. And stopping purely for her boyfriend's sake and not just for her own will probably eventually end up in failure and pain... If it was as simple as whether or not PT 'truly cared' about her boyfriend, she wouldn't have had to make these posts. I was just providing a little perspective that I was luckily (or unluckily) enough to have privy to. Hopefully it'll be helpful to Pillthrill or someone in a similiar situation. It was helpful to myself, at least, to review this part of my history.
 
lazydullard said:
Well, I'm not trying to guilt-trip Pillthrill. And stopping purely for her boyfriend's sake and not just for her own will probably eventually end up in failure and pain... If it was as simple as whether or not PT 'truly cared' about her boyfriend, she wouldn't have had to make these posts. I was just providing a little perspective that I was luckily (or unluckily) enough to have privy to. Hopefully it'll be helpful to Pillthrill or someone in a similiar situation. It was helpful to myself, at least, to review this part of my history.
Click to expand...

I guess my post did come across as a bit guilt-trippish, and sorry if it did, that wasn't the intention. My first real relationship was with a girl who cut, and remembering the huge amount of pressure and doubt that put on me is a huge part of why I forced myself to stop when I started falling back into cutting last year. When I was going through a horrible phase and started spending a chunk of every day or two with a knife, I stopped because I decided that even if I didn't care about what I did to myself, that I'd at least hold myself together for the sake of my family.

And I know sometimes that doesn't mean much and it certainly didn't to me when I was self destructing with drugs, but in one of my more clearheaded moments I decided that if I give up on myself, then I give up on the people around me who've gone to hell and back for me, and who've always had the best intentions even if that hasn't reflected in the best actions, and that's what made me stop again. It's the reason I've always held back when I've felt suicidal, sure I just turned to the methpipe or the pills or the bottle instead and that wasn't good, but when you give up on yourself, that means all the people around you who've tried to help you have failed, and I don't think they deserve that.
 
Butterfly_kisses said:
not to get this totally off subject
but is it usualy for people who cut to burn.
ive cut for like 3 yrs i think and ive recently changed to burning myself with a lighter instead.
but yeah i was jsut curious is many people burn instead..
Click to expand...

I guess it varies from one self-harmer to the next. But self-harm/self-destruction can manifest in many different ways. From cutting, scratching, burning, to eating disorders, drug use/abuse, self-punishment by denying one's self of enjoyable things, putting one's self in undesirable situations etc etc.

How are you going with your cutting/burning by the way? Are you seeking any help to get it under control?
 
I really wanted to fucking cut something up last night, but I didnt. It was so weird, I was about to get a knife and everything, then something distracted me, and I completely forgot all about it.

Well, that and I didnt know where I could cut that wouldn't result in a fucking scar.
 
Hey, that's great that you forgot about it hayzz! Doesn't matter how or why, (e.g. distraction, forgetting etc) but as long as the urge passes that's the main thing.

I've often felt like cutting when really really drunk, then ended up forgetting about it, or passing out ;)
All for the best really.

<3
 
i haven't had the desire to cut in a really long time (about four years) and it's sort of something i don't really think about anymore... but i have some bad scares on my hips/upper thighs and i was sitting with this boy a week or so ago and he asked me what they were... it's weird the relationships you have with your scars and what they represent. sorry this post isn't too thought out, i just saw the thread and it gave me a flashback.
 
^^ Yep, I agree mia.

It's funny you mention the "relationship" with your scars. My partner and I are so used to my scars, we're both comfortable and familiar with them so I don't cover them when I'm at home. I've forgotten to cover the bad/obvious ones a couple of times when I'm in public and someone has asked about them. It completely takes me by surprise and I always make up the lamest story on the spot 8)
 
its amazing how well cuts from a clean razor blade heal. the reasons for desiring to commit such an act do not fade as well, I'm afraid.
 
Yep, the physical wounds certainly seem to heal much faster/easier than the psychological wounds....
Have you felt the urge to cut recently?? Feel free to PM me if you need to vent to someone <3
 
n3ophy7e said:
I guess it varies from one self-harmer to the next. But self-harm/self-destruction can manifest in many different ways. From cutting, scratching, burning, to eating disorders, drug use/abuse, self-punishment by denying one's self of enjoyable things, putting one's self in undesirable situations etc etc.

How are you going with your cutting/burning by the way? Are you seeking any help to get it under control?
Click to expand...

Thanks for the answer,, i thought that might be it but wasnt too sure.

umm no im not seeking any help but im all good
havent done anything for like around a month or maybe two.
although lately ive been wanting to heaps but instead im not going to.
well tyring not to.
 
n3ophy7e said:
^^ Yep, I agree mia.

It's funny you mention the "relationship" with your scars. My partner and I are so used to my scars, we're both comfortable and familiar with them so I don't cover them when I'm at home. I've forgotten to cover the bad/obvious ones a couple of times when I'm in public and someone has asked about them. It completely takes me by surprise and I always make up the lamest story on the spot 8)
Click to expand...

same here. "i was drunk and fell into a tree...."
when i used to cut i loved the way that scars/lesions looked on my body, it was this thing of beauty in my eyes, in some weird rationalization it made me feel i was making myself "prettier." but now i really hate them, especially because my idea of beauty was carving stuff like "FUCK " into the side of my upper thigh with kitchen knives. there's not much way to explain with the f-u-c-k but i'm generally pretty good at hiding it. it's def odd, tho, to look at that progression of thought.
i don't know, though, that i would ever really feel comfortable having it surgically removed or whatever, if that's even a possibility...
 
^^ They are part of us. They tell a story.
I would/will never remove my scars with laser or surgery. Instead I'm planning to cover the main/most ugly ones with tattoos :)

Butterfly_kisses said:
although lately ive been wanting to heaps but instead im not going to.
well tyring not to.
Click to expand...

Keep trying not to sweetheart. You've gone at least a month or two without doing it, which shows that you have other coping mechanisms. You don't need to cut <3
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top