Hey, rather than bullshit around or anything I'd rather just have enough respect for everyone to go for the honest route and I hope not to get any lectures altho from skimming this section you guys seem pretty objective.
I am basically addicted to adderall blahblah but I really try to keep it functional/sustainable as something for school as well as recreation. I found that coke/methylphenidate/dari's really just don't seem to do a thing for me in terms of recreation. I really would prefer not to do down the dusty trails of blowing lines of amp, I've been maintaining 40mg oral and abstaining for a periods and doing about 90-120mg oral and still feel like im chasing a dragon that isn't getting me very euphoric at all, but blowing 10-20 I get a blasting rush.
I take l-tyrosine
multivitamins
protein shakes
piracetam/aniracetam
GPC
cognitive function multivitamins
chelated magnesium
when i wanna "Tweak"/have a tweekend I preload with antacids and recently tried baking soda. I crush anywhere from 60-120mg into a fine powder and mix with warm water and drink. It just isn't really that enjoyable very long anymore, if it is enjoyable. Is it just that maintaining a lower dose making getting high much harder? I used to rail much more but on and off every few days, then stopped for 6 months because I was sick of being awake all the time

oh and in the beginning 30mg xr felt like i was rushing all day, which fucking sucks because the second I went back to trying to enjoy higher doses my tolerance skyrocketed and I can multiply the dose by 4x and barely feel anything just am awake and somewhat fidgety but no mental stimulation or even heart rate or anything. Taking it like im supposed to fucked up abusing it it seems, while only abusing it didnt build a tolerance over 9 months, i took breaks whenever i felt like it, now i feel slower and foggy but never really feel that sharp crisp exhilleration.
oh and what can i do to combat vasoconstriction, my hands are freezing.
oh, i guess i should mention, i cold turkey quit opiates after quitting adderall/coke and have never looked back, i still have leftover opiates in a box, as a reminder that I am choosing not to do this for me, not hiding from it.
the only other drug i take is klonopin, the same dosage for over a year, I don't abuse downers...learned my lesson.
Stimulants actually get me out of bed and stop me from having a counterproductive whirlwind of thoughts ive always had. after a years diagnoses and such, i was diagnosed having mild add and pretty bad depression/motivation and started with wellbutrin (Caused me to go manic and severe headaches) and then adderall, which worked.
ok. time for sleep. hopefully someone has some words of advice if theyve been in a similar situation