Yunai
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2024
- Messages
- 52
Hi, I write this to vent and maybe help with the trauma this substance caused me. I am still a bit traumatized by the experience to be honest. First of all though, I do not want to say “please do not do this substance under any circumstance” but definitely be careful if you choose to do so.
Let me tell you my story, I was hopping on a very long flight to visit a long term friend who lives in Germany now and I’ve spend a week at his place. One night we went out into a club. I rarely drink alcohol but in the rare cases of me going out (and without having my DOC with me, which I obviously didn’t want to risk smuggle to a whole different country). My DOC is Morphine, since I am in substitution for over 2 years now I can’t feel it anyway anymore (see my other recent posts) but I usually take Xanax for going out, helps perfect with social anxiety plus Weed to enjoy the music and dancing. On that night though we had neither, so I just drank alcohol. After just one cup I could already feel something’s off. I am skinny asf but I do know how much to drink before it gets too bad and that was by far too little. I felt nauseous and off and it got only worse and worse. Without further drinking, an hour later I rushed to the bathroom and threw my guts out. That’s when I definitely knew something’s terribly wrong and I was possibly spiked. I told my good friend, he was a bit drunk but he was like “nah it’s okay bro, just stay” but I was like “No, I am dead serious, I am very sick please go out with me” but he refused and wanted to pursue me to stay inside!(!). Fortunately, we were a group of 4 and one other friend (let’s call him M) of his who I didn’t know before realized and he grabbed me and went outside with me (which I was extremely appreciative off, M genuinely was a good hearted guy who cares about the well-being of others). We stood outside the club and talked for 2 or maybe even 3 hours. The fresh air and music quieter helped, I continuously said “I am so sorry to ruin the evening for you, if you want you can go back in” but he said “no I am staying with you, your well-being is more important to me and you don’t ruin anything for me I enjoy the conversation with you anyway” (really amazing person for real).
Anyway, after a couple hours with our other 2 friends still inside we considered “should we go in again or not”. We decided to just go in quickly, see how I do, if it gets worse again we’ll say goodbye to them and M will walk me home but here is where it gets worse from 0 to 100. Within 5-10 seconds on the dance floor and the flashing lights (which was crazy even for Club standards) I lost conscious and had a seizure for 5 minutes straight. To me it was extremely weird. I went to the dance floor, felt my muscles jittering/clutching for a moment, boom, all of a sudden I am on a stretcher in the back of an Ambulance. I was so confused, panicking, the good friend then came in told me what happened (I lost conscious, had a seizure, people thankfully stopped my fall, called 911, put me in the recovery position, thankfully I didn’t stop breathing, there is a good people in the world after all)… and M then accompanied me on the ride to the hospital. Thankfully due to whatever they gave me in the IV I felt better quickly, they drew my blood and a couple of things, kept me in the hospital over night and gave me the diagnosis that I was “poisoned by MDMA", some hospital can’t distinguish between MDMA and Methampethamines but due to the information, story and area etc they could definitely say I was spiked with MDMA.
I was dismissed the next morning, it took me a full 7 days for me to somehow be back to normal, my brain was like in a big fog, my memory was almost as bad as Alzheimer’s, I could not even think. It was so bad, simple tasks like forgetting to flush, or throw away my floss after brushing my teeth, the friend (who didn’t help me, and whom I was staying with) plus his gf at the time both were extremely angry at me for this. I tried to explain, they had absolutely NO understanding. Even though I was just coming home from the hospital after being poisoned. They accused me of maliciously trying to leave a mess to piss them off, which hurt my feelings and started a big argument too because I obviously never did, my brain was mush, complete mush.. only after maybe 7 days later when I was back home I slowly started to function again. But even months later when falling asleep I felt the jittering sometimes and got panic attacks, afraid of having a seizure again (which never happened again though thankfully). This soured our long term relationship big time, many many months later he gave me a half-ahh vague apology for his ignorance at the time and considering I know him since birth I forgave him then but as of now I completely cut ties with this friend because of a different situation that was even worse (nothing drug related but he accused me of something horrible I never ever did nor would ever do and he had absolutely no evidence against me but he just looked for any scapegoat and since he low key already hated me he just chose me out of the blue - that showed me his true colors and I cut ties completely. In hindsight, the way he always looked down on me, spoke bad about me, I should’ve done it a long time ago. Good friends build each other up and don’t make each other feel like trash!)
I never ever in my life had a seizure or anything similar, so this was definitely a very big shock to me. To this day sometimes it still haunts me. At that point when it happened I was already past my “testing out new substances” phase but this just made my decision even stronger. I will never ever take anything else again apart from my DOCs that my body tolerates very well.
Let me tell you my story, I was hopping on a very long flight to visit a long term friend who lives in Germany now and I’ve spend a week at his place. One night we went out into a club. I rarely drink alcohol but in the rare cases of me going out (and without having my DOC with me, which I obviously didn’t want to risk smuggle to a whole different country). My DOC is Morphine, since I am in substitution for over 2 years now I can’t feel it anyway anymore (see my other recent posts) but I usually take Xanax for going out, helps perfect with social anxiety plus Weed to enjoy the music and dancing. On that night though we had neither, so I just drank alcohol. After just one cup I could already feel something’s off. I am skinny asf but I do know how much to drink before it gets too bad and that was by far too little. I felt nauseous and off and it got only worse and worse. Without further drinking, an hour later I rushed to the bathroom and threw my guts out. That’s when I definitely knew something’s terribly wrong and I was possibly spiked. I told my good friend, he was a bit drunk but he was like “nah it’s okay bro, just stay” but I was like “No, I am dead serious, I am very sick please go out with me” but he refused and wanted to pursue me to stay inside!(!). Fortunately, we were a group of 4 and one other friend (let’s call him M) of his who I didn’t know before realized and he grabbed me and went outside with me (which I was extremely appreciative off, M genuinely was a good hearted guy who cares about the well-being of others). We stood outside the club and talked for 2 or maybe even 3 hours. The fresh air and music quieter helped, I continuously said “I am so sorry to ruin the evening for you, if you want you can go back in” but he said “no I am staying with you, your well-being is more important to me and you don’t ruin anything for me I enjoy the conversation with you anyway” (really amazing person for real).
Anyway, after a couple hours with our other 2 friends still inside we considered “should we go in again or not”. We decided to just go in quickly, see how I do, if it gets worse again we’ll say goodbye to them and M will walk me home but here is where it gets worse from 0 to 100. Within 5-10 seconds on the dance floor and the flashing lights (which was crazy even for Club standards) I lost conscious and had a seizure for 5 minutes straight. To me it was extremely weird. I went to the dance floor, felt my muscles jittering/clutching for a moment, boom, all of a sudden I am on a stretcher in the back of an Ambulance. I was so confused, panicking, the good friend then came in told me what happened (I lost conscious, had a seizure, people thankfully stopped my fall, called 911, put me in the recovery position, thankfully I didn’t stop breathing, there is a good people in the world after all)… and M then accompanied me on the ride to the hospital. Thankfully due to whatever they gave me in the IV I felt better quickly, they drew my blood and a couple of things, kept me in the hospital over night and gave me the diagnosis that I was “poisoned by MDMA", some hospital can’t distinguish between MDMA and Methampethamines but due to the information, story and area etc they could definitely say I was spiked with MDMA.
I was dismissed the next morning, it took me a full 7 days for me to somehow be back to normal, my brain was like in a big fog, my memory was almost as bad as Alzheimer’s, I could not even think. It was so bad, simple tasks like forgetting to flush, or throw away my floss after brushing my teeth, the friend (who didn’t help me, and whom I was staying with) plus his gf at the time both were extremely angry at me for this. I tried to explain, they had absolutely NO understanding. Even though I was just coming home from the hospital after being poisoned. They accused me of maliciously trying to leave a mess to piss them off, which hurt my feelings and started a big argument too because I obviously never did, my brain was mush, complete mush.. only after maybe 7 days later when I was back home I slowly started to function again. But even months later when falling asleep I felt the jittering sometimes and got panic attacks, afraid of having a seizure again (which never happened again though thankfully). This soured our long term relationship big time, many many months later he gave me a half-ahh vague apology for his ignorance at the time and considering I know him since birth I forgave him then but as of now I completely cut ties with this friend because of a different situation that was even worse (nothing drug related but he accused me of something horrible I never ever did nor would ever do and he had absolutely no evidence against me but he just looked for any scapegoat and since he low key already hated me he just chose me out of the blue - that showed me his true colors and I cut ties completely. In hindsight, the way he always looked down on me, spoke bad about me, I should’ve done it a long time ago. Good friends build each other up and don’t make each other feel like trash!)
I never ever in my life had a seizure or anything similar, so this was definitely a very big shock to me. To this day sometimes it still haunts me. At that point when it happened I was already past my “testing out new substances” phase but this just made my decision even stronger. I will never ever take anything else again apart from my DOCs that my body tolerates very well.
