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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v 12

Sorry y'all, I just lay in bed, sit on a chair or on the floor, and watch TV 'catatonically' all day, the writing & 'conversation,' even if only with myself, breaks the monotony & also gives me a slight sense of connection. I hope everybody who visits here is having the best possible day, maybe even some pleasure making its appearance upon the scene. Yeah, wouldn't that be nice. Later gators, Dan
 
Does the cognitive impairment ever get better? My 30th June shot @50mg really set me back and I feel like I'm getting dumber and dumber each day this past week. It's so scary because you're no longer able to have the consciousness you're used to having. Everything feels foreign to me and I feel trapped. Even a week ago I felt more my normal self but now I feel my brain is shrinking with each passing day.
 
KubiKook said:
Got it about the loading doses. Yeah, this ain't normal depression. My brain is not the same. I know the difference. I really don't understand what the hell has happened. I guess it's chemistry.
All I know is that every second of every day is nothing but this ineffable suffering. Day after day after day of misery beyond imagining. I've always been strong & resilient. This sh*t is taking me down-down-down. When you no longer have all the things you used to hold onto, that used to get you through, what in the hell are you supposed to do?! F**k y'all...
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I’m not trying to say you aren’t suffering… I’m trying to explain from my experience with depression beforehand, and with anhedonia after invega. Again I have literally attempted suicide I’m not just talking to talk? I know what it’s like to feel pain and want it all to end. It does eventually go away. Invega has caused depression symptoms to worsen but it doesn’t mean you have to wallow in misery, that’s literally never helped anything. Because of my depression I’ve always struggled to take care of myself, it was worse after invega too. There was a point where I didn’t wash my hair for weeks. There are small things you can do. If you can’t shower everyday you can try to shower maybe every other day. Beating yourself up for not being perfectly healthy and happy as you used to be will also not help. Many people go through different life experiences that changes their day to day and perspective. Reward yourself more for doing the smaller things.
 
Hey, just for something a little more lighthearted... This was me at my peak when I was a bodybuilder & boxer.

May be an image of 1 person and body building
 
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invegaloner said:
I’m not trying to say you aren’t suffering… I’m trying to explain from my experience with depression beforehand, and with anhedonia after invega. Again I have literally attempted suicide I’m not just talking to talk? I know what it’s like to feel pain and want it all to end. It does eventually go away. Invega has caused depression symptoms to worsen but it doesn’t mean you have to wallow in misery, that’s literally never helped anything. Because of my depression I’ve always struggled to take care of myself, it was worse after invega too. There was a point where I didn’t wash my hair for weeks. There are small things you can do. If you can’t shower everyday you can try to shower maybe every other day. Beating yourself up for not being perfectly healthy and happy as you used to be will also not help. Many people go through different life experiences that changes their day to day and perspective. Reward yourself more for doing the smaller things.
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Okay, back to seriousness. Yeah, I'm not aiming to diminish your experience with depression or your attempted suicide. Obviously, you were suffering to go to that extreme. As I've mentioned,
I am intimately acquainted with suffering, long-suffering. I've had chronic Lyme disease for 16+ years. I also went through many bouts of depression since I was a kid. I know depression manifests differently for different people & at different times. All I can tell you is THIS isn't even remotely similar to what I've experienced throughout my life.

I'm not "wallowing" in misery. In some inexplicable way, misery is wallowing in me. And around me. No matter what I do or don't do, it won't go away. This 'thing' that's been affecting my brain in this insane way since February 2025. It's an entirely different beast... I never had even close to this level of dysfunction, never had close to this level of dis-ability, so to speak.

Hey, maybe in some way you're right, it's some much more insidious manifestation of depression that wasn't part of my former nature (created by the severe chemical change of the Invega withdrawal). For this to last almost 18 months is absurd. I promise you, it's not my mindset or my actions or inactions that are perpetuating this. It's not about me beating myself up & fixating on perfectly happy or healthy, I assure you. There's no reward in anything. No feeing or connection to anything. Lots of aversions. I appreciate your story & your efforts to inspire some sense of hope.

Thank you.
invegaloner said:
I’m not trying to say you aren’t suffering… I’m trying to explain from my experience with depression beforehand, and with anhedonia after invega. Again I have literally attempted suicide I’m not just talking to talk? I know what it’s like to feel pain and want it all to end. It does eventually go away. Invega has caused depression symptoms to worsen but it doesn’t mean you have to wallow in misery, that’s literally never helped anything. Because of my depression I’ve always struggled to take care of myself, it was worse after invega too. There was a point where I didn’t wash my hair for weeks. There are small things you can do. If you can’t shower everyday you can try to shower maybe every other day. Beating yourself up for not being perfectly healthy and happy as you used to be will also not help. Many people go through different life experiences that changes their day to day and perspective. Reward yourself more for doing the smaller things.
Click to expand...
 
KubiKook said:
Sorry y'all, I just lay in bed, sit on a chair or on the floor, and watch TV 'catatonically' all day, the writing & 'conversation,' even if only with myself, breaks the monotony & also gives me a slight sense of connection. I hope everybody who visits here is having the best possible day, maybe even some pleasure making its appearance upon the scene. Yeah, wouldn't that be nice. Later gators, Dan
Click to expand...
Try this
 
KubiKook said:
Hey, just for something a little more lighthearted... This was me at my peak when I was a bodybuilder & boxer.

May be an image of 1 person and body building
Click to expand...


Damn bro you where jacked. Dont worry you can get back in that shape again. I was in horrible shape even after losing the weight from the abilify and invega. I started out lfting 25lbs dumbbells now i do reps with 215lbs on the barbell. My cardio is terrible though. Wish i had thwe cardio to do boxing. You must have been in awesome shape
 
Does the blank mind that invega gives ever get better? It's making the time go by so slowly as there's nothing in my mind to keep me occupied, so it feels like torturous boredom. I can't stand it!
 
falsely diagnosed as paranoid schizopernic in a self defense case - as i defended myself got injuries from it went to a&e explained and also had to heal my own wounds they didn’t help - suddenly sent to a mental hospital saying i need treatment when i just needed help with housing here in the uk

suddenly now yesterday after 3 weeks of being here section 2 ends 17th july

i was injected assaulted to say as i told them last time i had these injections it caused me life threatening injuries yet they came to attack me to give it to me

i’m so lost for words and everything now im back here same time as last year how weird is that
 
my doctors are evil i had no symptoms of a paranoid schizopernic the whole med care system is a scandal, im here not able to even produce semen as when they attacked me with injection i had sex before so now all my semen is used to fight this poison

i’m weak no energy feel like a woman - discharge 18th apparently - it’s hard knowing i’m back to sq1 and docs and nurses are scum

literally assaulted this medication forced when i wasn’t chaotic i just refused pills a few times as it was causing jaw lock and nose block and couldn’t sit down but yet they inject me with it instead !!
 
paranoid android said:
Damn bro you where jacked. Dont worry you can get back in that shape again. I was in horrible shape even after losing the weight from the abilify and invega. I started out lfting 25lbs dumbbells now i do reps with 215lbs on the barbell. My cardio is terrible though. Wish i had thwe cardio to do boxing. You must have been in awesome shape
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Yeah, thanks Bro, I was in incredible shape. Super strong, great cardio, powerful on the punches... Flag football was fun. Wow, you lost weight on those meds. Doing reps of 215 on bench press?
 
flystr8 said:
falsely diagnosed as paranoid schizopernic in a self defense case - as i defended myself got injuries from it went to a&e explained and also had to heal my own wounds they didn’t help - suddenly sent to a mental hospital saying i need treatment when i just needed help with housing here in the uk

suddenly now yesterday after 3 weeks of being here section 2 ends 17th july

i was injected assaulted to say as i told them last time i had these injections it caused me life threatening injuries yet they came to attack me to give it to me

i’m so lost for words and everything now im back here same time as last year how weird is that
Click to expand...
What's "a&e?" Sorry for your situation. I got misdiagnosed too. Refused meds in the first hospital & 4 staff jumped me... I defended myself but got the sh*t kicked out of me, they punched me in the face & jaw, ribs & throat, one guy put his knee on my neck, I honestly thought I was going to die, I was screaming bloody hell. After that I was transferred to the next hospital, refused meds again, was taken to court & forced to take Invega Sustenna. I didn't follow up with another dose after I was released & I've been getting destroyed by withdrawal symptoms ever since, almost 18 months.

Are you still in the hospital? Yeah, it surely is an assault. These f**kers should be charged with heinous crimes against humanity. What were the life-threatening injuries you suffered? Well, once again, so sorry for what you've gone through & are going through... Even so, welcome back. Sincerely, Dan
 
KubiKook said:
What's "a&e?" Sorry for your situation. I got misdiagnosed too. Refused meds in the first hospital & 4 staff jumped me... I defended myself but got the sh*t kicked out of me, they punched me in the face & jaw, ribs & throat, one guy put his knee on my neck, I honestly thought I was going to die, I was screaming bloody hell. After that I was transferred to the next hospital, refused meds again, was taken to court & forced to take Invega Sustenna. I didn't follow up with another dose after I was released & I've been getting destroyed by withdrawal symptoms ever since, almost 18 months of living hell.

Are you still in the hospital? Yeah, it surely is an assault. These f**kers should be charged with heinous crimes against humanity. What were the life-threatening injuries you suffered? Well, once again, so sorry for what you've gone through & are going through... Even so, welcome back. Sincerely, Dan
Click to expand...
 
KubiKook said:
Yeah, thanks Bro, I was in incredible shape. Super strong, great cardio, powerful on the punches... Flag football was fun. Wow, you lost weight on those meds. Doing reps of 215 on bench press?
Click to expand...

I lost weight really quickly when i got off the invega and then abilify injections. Abilify was just as bad as invega for me. When got put on the latuda i went from being fat as fuck at about 225lbs to looking pretty skinny at 170lbs. However latuda gave me really severe akathisia so i got switched to zyprexa which is what i have been on since.

I started lifting around the same time i got put on zyprexa. I was so out of shape i had to start with 25lbs dumbbells when i was doing curls. Now i do barbell curls of 215lbs when im working out. I do 70lbs each on the incline dumbbell press. I dont do regular bench presses they are bad for you and they kll my shoulder
 
KubiKook said:
Yeah, thanks Bro, I was in incredible shape. Super strong, great cardio, powerful on the punches... Flag football was fun. Wow, you lost weight on those meds. Doing reps of 215 on bench press?
Click to expand...

You can get in shape again. You where in wicked shape before so will be easier for you to get in shape again. We can be workout bros if you want lol. Im actually just resting from doing 70lbs butterfly's at the moment
 
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