Yes, this feels hopeless to me, my life is absolutely ruined, I can't live at home anymore, me & my cat are tortured in our new space, I can't imagine getting home again, everything it takes to manage a household & property, I (mentally) can't do any of it anymore, this is insane, the recovery stories don't help me, everybody's brain is different, my change feels permanent, and this is not a life that's sustainable, I'm not viable as a normal human being, I can't take care of myself, the future looks like some kind of nursing home or maybe worse, I couldn't bear that, I have people around me talking about the power of positive thinking, they just don't get it, it's not my mindset that's creating this complex, it's an abominable change in my brain composition, what a horror!
I'm not sure what my doses were. I think the second one was 234mg. Maybe 156. Either way, how can two injections cause such misery for such a long time?! I need a miracle & sadly, I don't believe in them anymore, my faith is completely gone, it was such a strong foundation of my life, what a grievous loss, so much loss, I used to be a charismatic, good-looking guy in good shape,
highly intelligent & highly conscious, very artistic, wrote many poems & songs, was finishing a book, landscaped my 1.4-acre property, built stone walls, planted so many trees, bushes & perennials, such color in season, attracting so much wildlife, how can this happen to us?!, and where's it heading?!, tragically & horrifyingly, I think for me it's gotta be suicide, don't think I can't survive this much longer. We shall see. Thank you for the message.