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Cocaine doing coke alone

Thank you for your help and advice. That's exactly what coke is to me, the best antidepressant I've ever taken. I'm happier, calmer, more understanding etc.
Wish the government would realize that people will put in their bodies what they want. If it was regulated to some degree then everyone wins. Gear is certified clean and cut off a good bit of the black market trade at the knees. The war on drugs makes the global war on terror look like a success....wanna stop drugs from coming over the border? Open government drug stores. Cartels no longer make near the amount they did, users are safer, and the government get some sweet sweet tax money. But alas I doubt that'll ever happen.

Hollywood and shitty dealers have ruined coke. In the movies someone does a fat lines screams and pounds their chest like Popeye downing a can of spinach. Then the dealers with stomping on shit so much and adding other uppers to make up for it. I've had people complain about my hookup saying shit like this doesn't amp me up or anything. Or "where is that kick in the dick I usually get?" The looks on their faces when I tell them they've got the shitty hookup and my stuff is how it's supposed to feel.

I've had lab tested 94% pure blow from the onion patch (yeah yeah those can be faked but trusted seller and the product more than delivered). The stuff I get from my dude isn't quite that but damn if it's not the best shit I've ever found on the street and it's consistently that good. Found out homie gets his soft exclusively from a guy that sells hard. Lightbulb moment there lol no one selling crack wants to deal with washing product to get a good enough purity for high quality hard.
 
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I have almost never done coke with other people. I have no one who wants to do cocaine in my circles. And I didn't think it was possible to get bored on coke. Perhaps your stuff isn't the best quality? Whenever I have quality coke I can't help but find things to do: decorating my house, fixing things I've put off, looking through my wardrobe to put together cool outfits, anything really.

Anyways, the first time I did coke I commited to playing through all of Mega Man 2. It's a decent challenge if you've never done it before. And I got through just in time before my coke dried up. It was amazing. So I would highly recommend trying an old video game like that where you have to attempt the same parts over and over again to improve and make progress. Suggestions would be: any Mega Man game, any Castlevania game, Super Meat Boy, Celeste, etc. Just search for difficult games. I prefer the older ones but that's just my taste.
 
Just an update: I'm still only having half a gram here and there so massive improvement. I'm treating myself to a holiday in the sun during UK winter time with the money I'm saving. I might end up using coke heavily again, but I'm just taking things a day at a time for now. My dealer is throwing offers and deals at me left, right and centre and he only sells small weight to me. I'm starting to think it's more about him having some control over me. Earlier this week my dealer was away so I used a different one who buys off my dealer anyway and omg it has been stepped on more times than a doormat. Absolutely terrible. It was so bad that I went and got some of my money back for half a gram.He had to give me some of my cash back or he'd lose my dealer as his supplier. Had half off my dealer tonight and there's just no comparison. I find that good coke/close as possible to how it comes into the country doesn't make me wired and twitchy it's almost a calming feeling just euphoria.

Anyway, I've calmed down a lot. But 1 day at a time.

My drug councillor keeps banging on that I'm in the age group for a heart attack so I'm playing with fire doing coke. But isn't that he case with anything. Alcohol, food, smoking, being overweight etc all lead to death or a close call at some point. I doubt half a gram a few times a week is going to cause heart attack.
 
Just an update: I'm still only having half a gram here and there so massive improvement. I'm treating myself to a holiday in the sun during UK winter time with the money I'm saving. I might end up using coke heavily again, but I'm just taking things a day at a time for now. My dealer is throwing offers and deals at me left, right and centre and he only sells small weight to me. I'm starting to think it's more about him having some control over me. Earlier this week my dealer was away so I used a different one who buys off my dealer anyway and omg it has been stepped on more times than a doormat. Absolutely terrible. It was so bad that I went and got some of my money back for half a gram.He had to give me some of my cash back or he'd lose my dealer as his supplier. Had half off my dealer tonight and there's just no comparison. I find that good coke/close as possible to how it comes into the country doesn't make me wired and twitchy it's almost a calming feeling just euphoria.

Anyway, I've calmed down a lot. But 1 day at a time.

My drug councillor keeps banging on that I'm in the age group for a heart attack so I'm playing with fire doing coke. But isn't that he case with anything. Alcohol, food, smoking, being overweight etc all lead to death or a close call at some point. I doubt half a gram a few times a week is going to cause heart attack.

This is what id imagine to be close to a best case scenario man!

I did the exact same thing honestly, I saved up for a new years in South America and went all out on my taxi driver's flake which I would have thought was stepped on but was the absolute best cold-cop I've ever made.

Yes, one day at a time. If it happens it happens. It's more about your mindset, and momentum - both seem to be in your favor 👍
 
Just an update: I'm still only having half a gram here and there so massive improvement. I'm treating myself to a holiday in the sun during UK winter time with the money I'm saving. I might end up using coke heavily again, but I'm just taking things a day at a time for now. My dealer is throwing offers and deals at me left, right and centre and he only sells small weight to me. I'm starting to think it's more about him having some control over me. Earlier this week my dealer was away so I used a different one who buys off my dealer anyway and omg it has been stepped on more times than a doormat. Absolutely terrible. It was so bad that I went and got some of my money back for half a gram.He had to give me some of my cash back or he'd lose my dealer as his supplier. Had half off my dealer tonight and there's just no comparison. I find that good coke/close as possible to how it comes into the country doesn't make me wired and twitchy it's almost a calming feeling just euphoria.

Anyway, I've calmed down a lot. But 1 day at a time.

My drug councillor keeps banging on that I'm in the age group for a heart attack so I'm playing with fire doing coke. But isn't that he case with anything. Alcohol, food, smoking, being overweight etc all lead to death or a close call at some point. I doubt half a gram a few times a week is going to cause heart attack.
Thanks for the update =D Congrats on the massive improvement! Also awesome that you have been at it for a while now, it's really easy to go right back at it after a period of ''sobriety'' or great reduction; it's super important but also real difficult to keep going in those moments!

You are indeed in the age group for an heart attack, and all those things you mentioned do increase the risks of having heart problems, but so do cocaine, by quite a bit. An ''half a gram a few times a week'' is not exactly light usage. For you yea it is! You were doing an oz a week not too long ago, but it definitely was and is putting strain on your heart.

Apart from the coke, do you have an healthy lifestyle? Do you drink alcohol? Because if you consume both it then convert to cocaethylene in your body which is even more cardiotoxic.

:lowrider:

 
Thanks for the update =D Congrats on the massive improvement! Also awesome that you have been at it for a while now, it's really easy to go right back at it after a period of ''sobriety'' or great reduction; it's super important but also real difficult to keep going in those moments!

You are indeed in the age group for an heart attack, and all those things you mentioned do increase the risks of having heart problems, but so do cocaine, by quite a bit. An ''half a gram a few times a week'' is not exactly light usage. For you yea it is! You were doing an oz a week not too long ago, but it definitely was and is putting strain on your heart.

Apart from the coke, do you have an healthy lifestyle? Do you drink alcohol? Because if you consume both it then convert to cocaethylene in your body which is even more cardiotoxic.

:lowrider:

Apart from the coke my lifestyle is reasonably healthy. I eat well most of the time, get plenty of exercise and for the most part I sleep well.
 
Thanks for the update =D Congrats on the massive improvement! Also awesome that you have been at it for a while now, it's really easy to go right back at it after a period of ''sobriety'' or great reduction; it's super important but also real difficult to keep going in those moments!

You are indeed in the age group for an heart attack, and all those things you mentioned do increase the risks of having heart problems, but so do cocaine, by quite a bit. An ''half a gram a few times a week'' is not exactly light usage. For you yea it is! You were doing an oz a week not too long ago, but it definitely was and is putting strain on your heart.

Apart from the coke, do you have an healthy lifestyle? Do you drink alcohol? Because if you consume both it then convert to cocaethylene in your body which is even more cardiotoxic.

:lowrider:

Oh, I forgot. I don't drink alcohol. I prefer dry lining my coke. I'll have the odd beer at Xmas but that's about it. I use to drink heavily, then I got addicted to opiates, then coke.
 
The more I do coke the more I feel and see how selfish I am. My drug councillor has stopped my subutex too because of the coke use, so I've got 2 choices: Cold turkey off 6mg subutex or switch to DHC DF's and wean myself down. I'm really having a deep think tonight. I've had half a gram, but I'm not really enjoying it because it just feels like my eyes are just wide open to what an idiot I've been/being. FFS drugs can be angels or demons. I feel lost, and, if I'm honest a bit scared regarding a future clean.
 
Does anyone know how long the withdrawal from 6mg of subutex will last? And how bad it will be? Should I just take the DF's or ride the withdrawal out? My drug councillor said I'm to high risk to be on subutex because I'm mixing it with coke. By the time the coke is out my system she'll recommend a much lower dosage of subutex anyway. I think the subutex was what was causing me to not get anxious on the coke because I've basically been speed balling every time I do coke on subutex. If the withdrawal from 6mg of subutex is rough but manageable I'll do things that way. As for the coke, I just don't know anymore. This happens from time to time: I do coke and it still doesn't lift my mood and it's top notch coke so it must be my brain just not processing it or something.

As for the subutex withdrawal dies anyone know how long it will be bad for? Am I looking at a rough couple of weeks or more and worse than that?
 
I never planned or anticipated a future clean, now I am it's absolutely terrifying.
Hang in there friend! Thinking of a future without one's DOC is scary indeed, I totally get you on that part, the realization can be terrifying. I would say focus on the opiate withdrawals for now, making sure you don't do more coke that what you've been maintain for a while, which is half a gram a few times a week right? You're saying you have some dihydrocodeine? How much? I can't really help you for the bupe withdrawal, but I'm sure you can find information about that somewhere else in the forum yea? Try the search function : )

:green banana:
 
yeah feels dumbnand pointless smoking hard alone. especially when I have truly potent and clean shit that just has me mollywhoppered and rolling balls so im just too high to really do much of anything but listen to music.
 
Does anyone know how long the withdrawal from 6mg of subutex will last? And how bad it will be? Should I just take the DF's or ride the withdrawal out? My drug councillor said I'm to high risk to be on subutex because I'm mixing it with coke. By the time the coke is out my system she'll recommend a much lower dosage of subutex anyway. I think the subutex was what was causing me to not get anxious on the coke because I've basically been speed balling every time I do coke on subutex. If the withdrawal from 6mg of subutex is rough but manageable I'll do things that way. As for the coke, I just don't know anymore. This happens from time to time: I do coke and it still doesn't lift my mood and it's top notch coke so it must be my brain just not processing it or something.

As for the subutex withdrawal dies anyone know how long it will be bad for? Am I looking at a rough couple of weeks or more and worse than that?
wtf is your counsellor on?? in what way is potential for using street opioids and going through a brutal withdrawal if she cold turkeys somehow better than using cocaine with it??? something that I think many subuxone users will do at some point.

to answer your question: it is very bad and totally unmanageable. you will be dope sick almost fully for a week or more before it starts to chill out and even then I wouldn't wanna put up with even week 2 withdrawals. what you mean take the DFs?
 
wtf is your counsellor on?? in what way is potential for using street opioids and going through a brutal withdrawal if she cold turkeys somehow better than using cocaine with it??? something that I think many subuxone users will do at some point.

to answer your question: it is very bad and totally unmanageable. you will be dope sick almost fully for a week or more before it starts to chill out and even then I wouldn't wanna put up with even week 2 withdrawals. what you mean take the DFs?
My drug councillor is sticking to her guns. I've complained to the prescriber who agreed to stop my subutex and their manager. I've got 500 Dihydrocodeine 30mg so I was just thinking about using those to stop the withdrawal from the subutex. Say 120mg 4 times daily and slowly taper down.

Thank you for your reply at least I know that I definitely need to use the Dihydrocodeine now. I'm hoping my counsellor and prescribers manager sorts this out though.
 
My drug councillor is sticking to her guns. I've complained to the prescriber who agreed to stop my subutex and their manager. I've got 500 Dihydrocodeine 30mg so I was just thinking about using those to stop the withdrawal from the subutex. Say 120mg 4 times daily and slowly taper down.

Thank you for your reply at least I know that I definitely need to use the Dihydrocodeine now. I'm hoping my counsellor and prescribers manager sorts this out though.
sorry man it wont be enough. you'll be out in 2 or 3 days max. you need to talk to a different doctor go thru an addiction resource that deals with opioids but be clear about the level of narcotic use you're at. the exact drugs you use and how much. stay on low as bupe as you can. even ur 6mg withdrawal will be insanely painful for you. like trust me you will end up in ER panicking, in pain, and too tired to take care of yourself anymore if you try. avoid that and get back on ur subs w a doctor who isn't stupid as fuck
 
sorry man it wont be enough. you'll be out in 2 or 3 days max. you need to talk to a different doctor go thru an addiction resource that deals with opioids but be clear about the level of narcotic use you're at. the exact drugs you use and how much. stay on low as bupe as you can. even ur 6mg withdrawal will be insanely painful for you. like trust me you will end up in ER panicking, in pain, and too tired to take care of yourself anymore if you try. avoid that and get back on ur subs w a doctor who isn't stupid as fuck
500 30mg pill lasting 2-3 days max?
 
500 30mg pill lasting 2-3 days max?
definitely misread. he has a month supply so I guess he could taper himself off w what he has it at least try see if it works out for him then if not go the Suboxone route.
I'm going to call addiction services today and try to get back on the bupe with a plan to taper down too. Thank you for your replies you've really helped me out.
either way at least ur not in a big rush. if you do try and taper yourself off you have a big benefit of avoiding being on Suboxone long term. like I want to warn you about Suboxone it fuckin sucks a lot of people stay on it for a long time. its also so important to have in case you ever need it available. my point is 6mg is a good spot to be at just keep it low.I bet you could probably drop off it yourself later when circumstances make it easier for you. you think 30 days is long enough for you to stop taking em entirely or at least maybe go to half 500mg a day. might make it easier on you. maybe you keep using the pills cuz they feel good? should prolly call up an addiction doc for your backpocket anyway let em know whats up dont have to start taking subs maybe they can just help you manage it. good luck bro. ive been on and off in between 24mg and 32mg subs or 280mg methadone or just doing fent for like 10 years. sometimes my tolerance drops to 50 sometimes it goes straight to 100%. never really goes back to 0 though. theres nothing between suboxoen and fent for me lol
 
definitely misread. he has a month supply so I guess he could taper himself off w what he has it at least try see if it works out for him then if not go the Suboxone route.

either way at least ur not in a big rush. if you do try and taper yourself off you have a big benefit of avoiding being on Suboxone long term. like I want to warn you about Suboxone it fuckin sucks a lot of people stay on it for a long time. its also so important to have in case you ever need it available. my point is 6mg is a good spot to be at just keep it low.I bet you could probably drop off it yourself later when circumstances make it easier for you. you think 30 days is long enough for you to stop taking em entirely or at least maybe go to half 500mg a day. might make it easier on you. maybe you keep using the pills cuz they feel good? should prolly call up an addiction doc for your backpocket anyway let em know whats up dont have to start taking subs maybe they can just help you manage it. good luck bro. ive been on and off in between 24mg and 32mg subs or 280mg methadone or just doing fent for like 10 years. sometimes my tolerance drops to 50 sometimes it goes straight to 100%. never really goes back to 0 though. theres nothing between suboxoen and fent for me lol
Thank you bro I really appreciate your help and advice. I've spoken to the other prescriber this afternoon on the phone. She's dropping me to 4mg and giving me a 2 week period to stabilise. After that she said it's up to me how quickly I come down on my dosage. My plan is to drop to 2mg after those 2 weeks,then come down by point 4 until I'm off the subs. They tried talking me I to starting this new injection called Buvidol but I said I'm happy on the oral dispersible tablets. The Buvidol sounds like a game changer, but I'm only going to be on 4mg subs so I don't see the point in switching to it.

The new prescriber has also insisted I take part in a weekly relapse prevention course as part of my treatment. If I don't turn up to the course my script gets stopped. I don't know why they've started playing games when I'm on my way to getting off the subutex. I've been reducing perfectly fine, then my counsellor and the first prescriber decide to fuck with my script because of my coke usage. I know people on bupe who smoke crack daily, and I'm sure many people on bupe use coke. This has just been a head fuck to be honest. They've played games then decided to put me back on the same path I was on anyway. I told the new prescriber today that I'm not a recreational coke user, I'm an addict trying to keep my usage down. She doesn't believe I'm only using low amounts of coke. Anyway my subs will be sorted Monday. Oh, I've got to be regularly drugs tested. I've told them what I'll always test positive for. I'm not lying to them I want their help.
 
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