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Cocaine doing coke alone

frogluvr

frogluvr

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 8, 2025
Messages
8
Currently on coke and im getting bored, anything fun to do while it lasts? I usually enjoy ketamine and weed alone but this is def a more social experience and I don’t have anyone to yap with. thanks!
 
I always did coke alone. But then agan i always slammed t and didnt give a fuck about anything but the rush lol
 
I'm doing coke alone rn too. I've got a ton of video games I play, sometimes I clean my place... I usually never have issues dinding things to do.
 
I used to do coke alone and (when not masturbating) used to find much value in artistic endeavors like fiction writing on it. I wouldn't necessarily call it "worthwhile," but there's very little about coke that is worthwhile, at least on a consistent basis.
 
99.9% of the time I smoked all my money on crack and smoked/chased the white dragon on my own for nearly 15years, until over time realised it was getting shit and stupid and not worth the side effects and money, came on bluelight a year ago and a month and a week ago I stopped, threw my pipes in the refuse bin, deleted and blocked my suppliers telephone numbers and aswell poured my snuff powder tobacco down toilet bought nicotine replacement tablets gave last 12 lucky strike cigarettes to neighbour in exchange for plant burger and other food, CRACK IS SO SHIT & BORING after a while I stopped, now finding interest in food, diet and I'm enrolling to a local gym this month far more interesting than the loneliness and boredom of smoking the shit
 
I was too interested in chasing the crack dragon to be horny and even though given up I prefer celabacy/chastity still and I am 50 years old so erections etc are rare 🙄🤣🙄
 
Hanging out on discord VC with others on similar chemicals has made doing coke alone much more tolerable.
 
Firstly excuse me for hijacking a thread I don't know how to create a new thread, or what section to post it in

I'm currently 2 years deep into a serious coke addiction. I'll be honest -i absolutely love it. I feel depressed when I try and go without it and happy/normal when I have it. It's costing me a fortune. I don't really want to stop, but I know I can't go on forever. I've tried cutting down on the amount I have daily, but it just builds back up again. I feel lost and I don't know what to do. I'm not even sure why I'm posting this. I've dabbled with coke for 30 years, but I've been heavily addicted for 2 years. Everyone close to me wants me to stop, but it's the best antidepressant in the world for me.

I should add that I'm also prescribed Espranor 12mg daily for opiate addiction. However, I only take that once ever few days.

Has anyone else ever been in this situation? Are the people close to me right in saying I need to stop coke and I just can't see it because I'm so deep in? Or should I just carry on and be as safe as possible as I always am. You'll all know how more ISH coke is though. I've lost family members because they can't watch me on coke Daly, I've lost friends for the same reason. The way I see it is I'm not hurting anyone or putting anyone else in danger so I don't see people's problem. I just don't know what to do for the best. I live in the UK, I'm 46 years old and otherwise healthy to the best of my knowledge.

Does anyone else live with a coke addiction and not want to stop, but are feeling pressure from friends and family to stop?

Sorry again for hijacking a thread. I have a drug worker but I can't talk to her about this because she will just have me thrown in rehab.
 
Losing family and friends because of your drug usage would count as hurting them I think. They care about you, obviously it pains them enough if it gets to the points of them telling you to stop your drug usage. I think the same way as you, "aah I'm only hurting myself who cares?" but then I hear my friends talk about how they worry about me and wish I'd take care of my body and mind better, it shows my usage hurts them. When I think about it I'm the same way, I care about people, their pain is my pain, and drugs end up amplifying the pain in the long run alot of the time.
 
I haven't seen good powder in 10 yrs. So trying something new and was wondering if anyone had the exact process to take crap meth and make it actually worth anything. Sorry I didn't mean to be so blunt.
 
Passable_rock said:
Losing family and friends because of your drug usage would count as hurting them I think. They care about you, obviously it pains them enough if it gets to the points of them telling you to stop your drug usage. I think the same way as you, "aah I'm only hurting myself who cares?" but then I hear my friends talk about how they worry about me and wish I'd take care of my body and mind better, it shows my usage hurts them. When I think about it I'm the same way, I care about people, their pain is my pain, and drugs end up amplifying the pain in the long run alot of the time.
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Thank you for the reply. You actually get it. My friends and family all enjoy alcohol in moderation. So, I just think they like alcohol I like coke. I honestly don't know what to do. I'm a much happier and sociable person on coke.
 
jessepinkman779 said:
Thank you for the reply. You actually get it. My friends and family all enjoy alcohol in moderation. So, I just think they like alcohol I like coke. I honestly don't know what to do. I'm a much happier and sociable person on coke.
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:) Do you think your coke usage is moderate? Seems like it's not. I've never been into coke too much, opioids are more my thing, I'm happier and more social on them too. I love the feeling but it's just unsustainable.
 
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Here's my thing with it: there's no communicating with people who haven't gotten deep into coke. That's not their fault, it's not your fault, it's just the fact of the matter. Once you understand the way coke can make you feel, and have a good connection for stuff that makes you feel like that with a small amount, you're faced with a very real choice: you can experience the best feeling life in terms of pleasure, or you can live a stable and healthy life with significantly less pleasure than you know is possible but to ease their minds and get more on their level. I've talked at length about this with concerned friends: it really is a coin flip which lifestyle is better, IMO. One is much more moral, as you participate normally in society and use money properly and maintain a good public appearance and you're a better friend and family member and partner. But if you look past morality and health and appearances, you can basically be on top of the world and experience pure intensity of emotion whenever you want, good and bad emotions sure but the intensity compared to square life is what brings me back over and over again. I'm also somebody who loves stories and art and risk taking, and coke basically makes your boring life into a complicated mess that's very compelling from your perspective and dangerous annoying and destructive from the world's perspective. So you basically have to choose whether you want to fit in and benefit the world or retreat inside yourself and see things in a ridiculously distorted way that will dwarf the pleasures of the normal world. It sounds like a no brainer, but I'm deep into an addiction too and once you break your brain into this stuff it becomes more valuable than money for the euphoria and excitement it gives you.

I'm aware this is just addict speak, but it is a profoundly confusing mental addiction because it really does feel good and distort reality in a fascinating way. For me, I binge hard when I get it and it is a very profound and often disturbing departure from reality. I'm thankful to return to earth, but I end up craving that mental adventure it provides. But once you push the limits of dosing and getting sucked into that experience, you end up discovering that it is much more than just a euphoria. It really does change the way you view reality in a specific but difficult to place way, I feel like it almost removes me from the modern idea of a human and back into a more primal and destructive animal, wasting money like it doesn't matter and pursuing any curiosity regardless of it being embarrassing or foolish to a civilized person. Seeing yourself transform like that, particularly if you are an intelligent and put together person, is fascinating and terrifying and exciting. I was just reading a list of artists/celebrities who overdosed on cocaine as a cause of death, and it did make me consider that many people choose to just keep going. Chris Farley was talking about coke and heroin in an interview I read near to his death, and he referred to it as "the end" in terms of experiences. I think that kind of approximates the power it has over you when you start to really understand its effects, reality just doesn't compare and it feels like you're quitting something profound. Sorry to make such a long post but I have been so alone in this addiction and it is very frustrating to hear from people who really have no clue the kind of mental trip this drug is. It's not a physical addiction at all, it's a terrifying funhouse maze that is always interesting and always destructive, and some people who are curious and self destructive will get lost and prefer that to reality.
 
Another thing about this is certain people just don't trust others, and this is one of the biggest factors in addicts. Some people rely on others to get through their life, they need the people around them to make them feel good and if the people around them are making them feel bad then they will just not stop trying to solve that problem. They trust people and think goodness is something everybody can attain and everybody deserves, so the addict in their life becomes a missing piece of their puzzle that they just have to find and make everything okay again. I think addicts have been hurt, and have seen the ugliness of the world, and have decided that this world is messed up and unfair and some of its puzzles will just never be solved and just don't care about being a living example of that idea for the more naive people of the world. I worry about people in my life, but I don't see things in that much of a moralistic way as I've gone through my 20s. It seems like nobody knows what the fuck they're doing and even happy people and normal people are participating in this big game where we pretend that we're part of something productive and good, and when you try to call it out and start to see that it's all just manipulation they get mad and don't want you to burst their bubble lest they confront the big meaningless mess we're in. I think drugs are the ultimate way to drop out of the game if you choose to see it as a total farce, and that's how I happen to see it lately. It feels disrespectful when they want you to play the game because they're unable to see why certain types of people are fed up with it and got a raw deal. When I'm deep in it it feels like the braver thing is to isolate myself and have a strike from reality, and feel emotions that are just inside my brain, not dependent on the mess we've all been forced into. Seems cowardly from the outside, but some people have just had enough and would rather disappoint the people they care about than pretend to care about a meaningless cruel and manipulative civilization. I just can't for the life of me see this world as a good thing, it is all about pleasing yourself by manipulating others, or if you're not as ambitious or cruel or perceptive, being manipulated and pleasing others. Neither way feels particularly noble, neither does living in a drugged out fantasy world where you don't care about your part in the world. But it's yours alone, and you don't need to engage with humanity to get the chemicals your brain is designed to crave. Feels like cheating which is kind of enticing if you don't like the game you're playing or feel you're above it. Drugged up rant over, thanks for considering this big ass wall of text. I still try to make the people around me happy, I'm a people pleaser through and through and try to bring laughs and happiness and helpfulness to everybody at work and in my life. But for whatever reason I draw a hard line when it comes to them wanting me to be happy myself for their own happiness. I can't help but think that insisting somebody think a certain way, even if it's to save their life or out of genuine concern, is just a way of them ignoring that suffering really is the bigger half of the human experience, like life is so good that everybody should love it and if they want out then they just don't understand it as well as they do.
 
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