Hey again
@canadianpeduser 
If you´re askin my opinion, I would absolutely refrain from ordering Benzodiazepines over the internet. In fact, I would do my best to forget that such a thing is even a possibility. If you respect my opinion at all, I have to tell you, ordering Benzodiazepines in bulk over the internet is a known stop on this bus route. You´re not the first and won´t be the last. They´re cheap, the risk is relatively nil and then you can use as much as you want without worry. That is the belief most people have when they reach this point.
Getting 300 Benzodiazepine pills is the quickest, surest way to end up in a very, very bad situation. You have to understand, if you can order these pills once, if you are willing to do it once in the service of chasing a high, what do you think your move will be when you run out? Will you say, ¨well, I guess it´s time to stop now¨? No, you´re likely gonna order more and continue with your tolerance.
Given that you´re already experiencing the angst that comes with lack of satisfaction due to tolerance, I feel I can predict how this would play out. You´re gonna get the pills, binge heavily on them until they run out; I´d give it 2-3 weeks maximum. It´s so common that it´s practically a trope: a person suddenly has access to their DOC in bulk. In this case, it´s Benzodiazepines. They decide they´re gonna cut loose and see how fucked up they can get. They then black out. This then commences 2-3 weeks of being relatively blacked out the entire time until you run out of pills, which will likely happen all of the sudden as you´re not keeping track of your stock.
You´re then going to have a massive Benzodiazepine tolerance in which you will likely not be able to experience any effects at all aside from an uncomfortable feeling of mental and physical numbness. You then begin a cycle of taking incredibly high doses trying to get one more really good high in before you quit. You black out again and repeat the process. It´s not as if ¨experience¨ with Benzodiazepines makes on immune to the common pitfalls of the drug. People who use Benzodiazepines all the time, including the guy who did two years in the state pen for robbing a lady´s house while blackd out on Xanax, tell themselves ¨well, that was fucked, need to really make sure I don´t black out again¨ only to lose control and black out again. You become dependent upon doses of Benzodiazepines in which you are not satisfied unless you get to the point when you´re blacking out.
Then you eventually run out of steam for whatever reason. You forget to order; script runs out... you´re hit. Your life becomes a cycle of numbness punctuated by moments of sheer terror: witdrawal. Just like an Opioid addict, your relief from the misery of withdrawal substitutes for the high you once desired. It is too painful to really tell yourself ¨I don´t get high anymore. I´ll never get high again¨ so you keep putting your DOC on a pedestal despite it destroying you.
I know people are going to say I´m fear mongering. I´m telling you man, I´ve been doing this a long time, both in my real life and on Bluelight. This decision will not lead to anything positive for you or your life. If you really want to fix the problem, you need to fucking dig deep, BELIEVE that the only way out is through tapering and begin to do the hard work. The hard work I´m talking about doesn´t go away. It just gets harder. You have the opportunity to get out of this relatively unscathed. Take it.
40mg Diazepam (Valium) along with your dose of Zopiclone puts you at about a 4 on a scale of 10. If we´re only talking about prescribed dosages, this puts you at about a 7. For those only aware with Alprazolam (Xanax), Clonazepam (Klonopin), this dose is equal to roughly 2mg of either of these two.
Z-Drugs, so named because they all start with a ¨Z¨ are highly cross-tolerant with Benzodiazepines. They are essentially Benzodiazepines that have been chosen for their potent hypnotic effects and short duration of action. It is not a perfect system, but there are conversion ratios that exist for these two classes.
5mg Diazepam = 7.5mg Zopiclone (Imovane) = 10mg Zolpidem (Ambien) = 3.75mg Eszopiclone (Lunesta)
Everyone is different. I, of course am not a doctor. I will say, for the average person without any strange genetic anomalies affecting drug metabolism, this quantity of sedative/hypnotic drugs should be enough for a person to get by on. Anyone who would tell me they´re taking this, that the effects have waned and that they´re now seeking out more Benzodiazepines would cause me to say the same exact thing.
The answer is in moderation dude. I know it´s hard. You´ve gotta resist the temptation that´s calling out to you right now. Nothing good will come from ordering these large quantities of Benzodiazepines. I can guarantee that.
What we need to do is come up with a reasonable schedule to help you reduce your intake. We can do it very slowly, so slow that you hardly even notice it. Once we are able to get your dose lowered by say, 25%, then we can start reducing the frequency of usage. If you want these drugs to be at your disposal for the long-term, you need to immediately develop discipline in yourself. You should ideally only be using these substances twice per week. Any more than that puts you on a long-term trajectory to tolerance and insolvency.
We can talk about using Volumetric dosing to cut your doses by minute amounts, slowly, over time. We can also talk about alternatives to sedative/hypnotics for dealing with your anxiety and insomnia.
@Allylbenzene posted a really awesome resource in another thread all about supplements and such that can help a person relax and recover naturally. I might suggest using a heavy dose of Cannabis oil on nights when you´re not using the sedatives.
Clonidine (Catapres) - This is something you really need to at least try. This is great for helping initiate and maintain sleep. It is non-addictive, as it produces no significant psychological effects. It lowers blood pressure and to a lesser extent, heart rate. This lessening of tension leads to a somatic loop that convinces a person they are relaxed. This in turn relieves psychological tension in a secondary fashion.
Gabapentinoids - These include Gabapentin (Neurontin), Pregabalin (Lyrica) and Phenibut (OTC Supplement) among others. They are somewhat cross-tolerant with sedative hypnotics, yet different enough that they can be utilized as a comfort medication. I would advise keeping the doses as low as possible and absolutely not using them for longer than two weeks. These are another medication that will help you sleep and mitigate anxiety, hopefully allowing you to use less sedative/hypnotics.
Ramelteon (Rozerem) - This is an analog of Melatonin that is more potent and more effective. It could be a useful cherry on top of the pharmaceutical Sundae we are crafting.
This is just a preliminary post to give you an idea of what we are working with here. Take it all in and make a decision for how you will move forward. I and everyone else here will help you the whole way. Decide to do something good for yourself man. This shit is only going to take everything you love if you continue down this path.
