Same here! Probably gonna get some
I went a bit "hard" because I am not very well
I tried to go down 5mg of my diazepam because it's bothering me
I did like 2-3g of red Kratom
15mg Diazepam
a spliff
then 4 - 5 hours later after a coffee I got very very anxious, I almost felt I was going to have a seizure.
so I took more Kratom, 5mg Diazepam, 50mg Hydroxyzine
It eventually went down after 2 spliffs but I felt broken and very down.
Trying to take the edge off,
Did Codeine phosphate 150mg with another 50mg Hydroxyzine and topped up with 2g of Kratom later. Felt nothing pretty much.
Sometimes codeine makes me very irritated, especially when I dont feel shit. I cant take more, those pils are 50mg Codeine/600mg Acetimophen, I should make a CWE but couldnt be bothered at the time.
Smoked more spliffs, then out of total frustration about everything, raging, I took 50 mg Oxazepam.
I started to feel less nervous but still ended up with Clonidine 0.3 and Trazadone 100mg.
With all of that I still had nightmares about going to score cocaine and of course I never was able to do so I woke up very frustrated.. face hurting from jaw clenching, nose stuck, coughing, stomach upset, the whole thing .. it is like that, but this time it felt less tolerable.
I am at a point where I don't know if I should go back on Gaba or Pregab (altough pregab is much more recreational lol) for anxiety or take more benzos which make me foggy and not great. Pregab is too taxing on cognitive abilities, while gaba is less. They are also very effective against anxiety for me.
Do you think for maintenance for example, benzo or Pregab/Gaba long term? what's the worse ? If anyone is in that kind of situation please share, I am out of ideas thanks
OT: now I took 5g of kratom and 20mg diazepam with a spliff and tea and I am just worried.
I was thinking about smack and blow this morning the smell of vinegar ffs I would have fucking started my day with a good speedball even just snorted instead of doing crap and feeling like shit daily I am fed up. Last time I did a proper one was fucking 5 years ago when is this gonna let me go . I don't want to relapse but at the same time I am fucking hurting