How was your physical health cooked?
As a 20 year old undiagnosed with Autism, a doctor got me hooked on XANAX, prescribed 200 1mg tablets aka 50 pills 3 repeats and that was the stary of 10 years of daily benzo dependence
2017, over 9 months i withdrew from Benzos.
However the psychiatrist who treated me prescribed Lyrica and Baclofen, while I was also taking Cymbalta. All 3 of these meds In particular lyrica and baclofen they are specifically CNS central nervous system pain killers.
2018 I started f45 trained for 4 years lost 30 kilos
Then after that did 2 to 3 years weight lifting.
I would use lyrica and baclofen more then prescribed (still within the law) where im from to medicate my anxiety.
Turns out, I was medicating physical pain and tension in my body, that was so bad, i could only process it as "chronic anxiety, chronic fatigue and silent migraines"
Before psychosis i was also taking 5 dexies a day plus medical marijuana, all prescribed.
Medical marijuana was the thing thay finally made me start self massage.
Im September 2024 my body through my own self massage with a variety of tools I had available (thousands of dollars worth of trigger point gear, including shiatsu massage machine, balls and foam rollera) my body came out black anf blue with bruises
I diagnosed myself with autism and joint hypermobility at that time, but my doctors and my family all thought I had lost my fucking mind. The doctors laughed me out the door.
New minute i invited friend over after pretty much everyone said I was crazy, I invited the druggie friend over, he gave me 2 lines of ketamine, welp turned out it was methamphetanine.
So psychosis and then paliperidone and then a year of hell.
Last year I tired hanging myself a few times didn't work, December 2025 I was thinking "well in going ot have to live, how am I going to manage that?" So I started working on my neck again.
Oh sorry side note with all my bruises i had been working with a physiotherapist on my neck since 2023, as i was suffering silent migraines, but with weed i recognised my whole body was in knotts
December 2025 started on my neck, took the handle of a screwdriver and pushed into these HARD clumps in the back of my head that I thought were BONE, they were nerve endings and muscles wound so tight they had turned rock hard. Anyways once I finally unearthed feeling into my neck, I had a cascade of pain from my neck to my lower back. Which I now know was actually Pain all the way into my feet.
No jokes i was so locked up in all my muscles I couldn't interpet pain, just my mind being slowly tortured.
I thi k joint hypermobility shit apparently according to these massage people who are fixing me, used to be known as fibromyalgia. In otherwordq chronic pain throughout the entire body.
See its a connective tissue disorder. Whereby your muscles CONTRACT but dont release tension. So for 7 years I pounded exercise taking these painkillers and fuxked myself so badly.
Anyways it's been 2 months the pain ive been in during that time has sent me up the fucking wall its been traumatic on top of an already traumatic life.
2 sessions later though of this EMS massage, wgoly fucking shit. Im becoming whole again.
Im 6 foot 2 over 110kg, having not done any yoga, I could almost get my legs over my head. The remedial massage people said in the 1940s I'd be a contortionist.
My story is long and complicated this is a quick summary i hope it makes sense.
Definitely sounds like something an Autistic person would do. Fucking ridiculous
