Passable_rock
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2025
- Messages
- 70
Hey my friend, how's the cutting back going? and everything else?
-
OD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | Tryptamino
Cocaine doing coke alone
- Thread starter frogluvr
- Start date
Stassi202
Bluelighter
Stassi202
Bluelighter
Omg. why would you do that?
Psychonauticunt
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2010
- Messages
- 1,412
Cocaine is a social drug when snorted, and manifestly antisocial when smoked or injected. Or, when smoking, there is the social element of pestering your buddy whether he's done already and you can have the pipe again.
garygroundwork
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2006
- Messages
- 771
Coke starts out as sociall with friends etc but as you get addicted you prefer doing it alone and it's all you can think about.
Well in my experience.
Well in my experience.
Last edited:
ageingpartyfiend
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2011
- Messages
- 8,618
That's the usual pattern
As soon as you're using alone it's the reddest of red flags
jessepinkman779
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2014
- Messages
- 159
Hi, for the last two 2 weeks I've only had 1 gram twice per week, but it's driving me nuts. Everything else is fine, I think lol.Hey my friend, how's the cutting back going? and everything else?
jessepinkman779
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2014
- Messages
- 159
That's my experience too.
Passable_rock
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2025
- Messages
- 70
holy hell! wow that's such a big reduction from what you were doing before! Much bigger than I thought it would be for someone that was blowing 2500 a week. I personally haven't done anymore k, and also haven't drank any alcohol in 2 weeks! I am drinking kratom tea several times a day tho, but for now that's much healthier than what I was consuming before.
jessepinkman779
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2014
- Messages
- 159
You're doing well be proud.holy hell! wow that's such a big reduction from what you were doing before! Much bigger than I thought it would be for someone that was blowing 2500 a week. I personally haven't done anymore k, and also haven't drank any alcohol in 2 weeks! I am drinking kratom tea several times a day tho, but for now that's much healthier than what I was consuming before.
The big reduction is driving me insane, all I can think about is coke, but I'm pushing through. The gram twice per week is something to look forward to, although it's only been 2 weeks at that usage.
deficiT
Bluelight Crew
I'd say video games are a solid activity to focus on when you're stimulated and by yourself
How have things been going for you?
I'd definitely suggest to try and cut back. It will probably get harder and harder the longer you continue daily use. The outcomes of addiction aren't always immediately visible, but things grow and compound over time.
I think if your friends &/or family are expressing concerns about your use, you should try your best to listen to them.
In addition to the psychological factor, coke can really harm you physically when you use it heavily over a long period, it's really bad for your heart. It's not a particularly sustainable addiction, and it's better to quit while you're ahead. I don't think there's anything wrong with indulging occasionally, but if you've gotten to a point where you feel you have to use it constantly, things will only get worse for you financially, emotionally, and physically if you continue down that path.
deficiT
Bluelight Crew
Babykinz
Greenlighter
You and I have a lot in common. Drug preferences, binging in solitude, etc.
Lately, one of my favorite quotes keeps running through my mind and I want to share it with you. I believe Tom Waits said this in an old interview I saw him give. He said, "Drugs aren't bad, people that can't handle their drugs are bad". I keep looking at what our country has the younger generation has become and I just cannot accept this version of reality. People self censor, they're soft AF and cannot handle any real world shit, it seems. If I mention recreational use of strong substances or something like revenge pranks or old school fist fighting as part of growing up back in the day, people react like a bunch of candy asses that will never go out and really live life. WTF happened to us? When did everyone start acting like a bunch of hall monitors that can't wait to taddle tell on the kid skipping class? Sorry, I went on a drugged up rant, as well.
@jessepinkman779 what ended up happening with everything? I've been a long time lurker of this forum for years off and on, and might have signed up a while back, but wouldn't know or remember what my username was, and I just read this thread and it kind of just fizzled out with no conclusion, so signed back up just now as I was wondering how things turned out? Are you still using? Have you managed to keep the usage down? Relapsed back into heavy use? Just curious, the thread was an interesting read.
I have a long history of drug use myself, weed, coke, H, PCP, molly.. thats about it that I can think of, although there might be a couple others. Drugs are fun, until they're not fun. Not looking to hijack said thread, and will share my experience with drugs.. and how it can start out as fun, until it's no longer fun. Life changing experience. It's a long read, so brace yourself or feel free to skip it.
Like many others, I started out smoking weed with friends, which eventually lead to PCP use after someone rolled up a blunt of PCP and introduced it into a cypher of blunts without telling anyone. That lead to me liking PCP, and eventually I stopped smoking weed and was only smoking PCP.. for years. Same thing happened to alot of my friends, all from that one situation. Later down the line I met a girl, she introduced me to coke, and I put down the PCP and was sniffing coke for a couple years, until one day someone sold us some H as coke, and at the time I had no clue thats what it was(was still young and naive at that time.. in my early 20s). Ended up in the pizza shop with my face down in a plate of pizza.. didn't think I would ever touch that stuff again. Wrong. This slowly transitioned me into a H habit, as we started buying H purposely after that day, while still buying coke here and there. So we were dabbling in both. I had no clue about H withdrawals until it was too late. This lead to us only doing H, and coke was out of the picture. Me and this girl did H for a couple years, money was completely drained at that point, and foolish me got wrapped up in counterfeit money with some friends. We figured out how to print our own bills, which at the time seemed like the ultimate dream.. unlimited money, what drug addict wouldn't love that? Especially when you have a high tolerance(at least I thought my tolerance was high at that stage of my life.. little did I know, this was only the beginning stages still, despite having using it for about 2-3 years). One my friends got caught with the fake money and told on everyone, and I was sentenced to prison time. Sat in prison for a little over 18 months, came home to the same girl that got me into the coke. I was craving H when I got out of prison still, but little did I know she had already started IVing it at that point. Prior to me going to prison, we were only sniffing our drugs. She eventually confessed her IV use, and while I wasn't interested in going down that route.. I eventually ended up allowing her to convince me into trying it. This was the BIGGEST mistake of my life. I did my first shot, and was super high.. I had never experienced a high like this before. I used to be addicted to the drip from sniffing coke and H. Shooting H was bringing on a whole new demon.. now I was addicted to the rush, and super high that came along with it. From that day on, there was no more sniffing drugs.. it was throw some water on it, and banging it. I continued to use drugs with my "girlfriend" for the next 5-10 years, and eventually me and her broke up. This didn't stop my drug use, and I'm the type of person who is more then comfortable getting high by myself. I'm a pretty resourceful person, and always found ways to get money. Mainly from stealing from stores, and selling the stuff I stole. I would rent motel rooms by myself, and spend the day getting high. At some point someone on the street introduced me to shooting coke, which was a new demon added to everything. I was blessed with good veins, so I never had to tie off or nothing, which was actually a curse.. because I likely shot more drugs then the people around me, due to the ease of things. At this time of my life, I had no clue about harm reduction.. would reuse rigs for weeks at a time, would use bottle caps sometimes that I found on the ground and would "clean" them and use them to shoot up with. This eventually lead to me getting heart disease. I remember the day when things went bad. I was in a motel, by myself.. had both coke and H, and had been shooting drugs for maybe 2 days at that point, and had 3 more days left in the room - by the way, I was homeless at this point. Family was beyond tired of my drug use, I had stolen from my pops a bunch of times, so he definitely wasn't allowing me to live with him, and holding a job was not even a thought in my mind. Anyway, I'm on my 2nd day in the motel.. getting high as usual, and I must have passed out from the H. When I woke up, I could barely move. I never felt like this in my life... I literally could barely move, and didn't know what to do. I didn't want to call the cops because I still had a bunch of coke and H left.. but I also couldn't do shit. I barely could get out of the bed. As much as I didn't want to call the cops, I didn't really have a choice.. I couldn't stand up, and keep in mind this is after sleeping for a bunch of hours. I knew something wasn't right, I just had no clue what it was. Using more drugs was the last thing on my mind. I crawled to the toilet, dumped all the drugs that I had and flushed them(took alot of willpower to do this, I was originally going to try and stash them in the little pocket in my boxer briefs, but I assumed I would be going to the hospital and didn't want to get any new charges). All the drugs got flushed, I called 911, and they take me to the hospital. They run a bunch of tests on me, and it turns out I had endocarditis. Ended up having to have heart surgery, valve replacement. Who would of ever thought from smoking weed as a youth, to in the hospital having my valve replaced. Things didn't end there. I ended up also with some back problem, due to me shooting drugs.. I forget what it was called, but I had a sharp pain in my back a little after getting in the hospital, and it turned out to be related to the IV use. This was also a curse, as they prescribed me 8mg dilaudid. Being an addict, I started shooting my dilaudid thru the IV I had in my arm while in the hospital. How dumb can one be, right? So I was in the hospital, still shooting drugs thru the picc line they put in my arm. So even when I got out the hospital, and was in the physical rehab place, I was still shooting drugs thru the picc line. Long story short, this continued on for the next 5 years, I ended up with endocarditis again since I didn't stop the IV use, and ended up having a 2nd heart surgery. This time the surgeons weren't fucking around, instead of replacing my heart valve, they just removed the valve. They told me if i decide to get clean, and can prove that im willing to stay clean.. that they would give me another surgery and add a new valve, but until then they were going to leave me without a right heart valve. This completely changed my life.. while I can still walk around, and take the stairs, I can't do anything that pushes my heart too much. No heavy lifting. No carrying medium weight things for too long, no running. Simple things like taking a shower make me feel drained. My energy levels are bleh. I can't even ride a damn bike. The surgeons knew what they were doing when they made that decision, and while I was pissed off initially.. it was probably the best thing they could of ever done for me, as its the only thing that made me decide to get off drugs. I'm currently on suboxone, and have been for the past 8 years. I live by myself, I have a small apartment and work online for my income. I don't go anywhere other then doctors appointments, I have no friends. Luckily, my family is back in my life. My doctors have agreed that I have proven that I am sober at this point in my life and have agreed to give me another heart surgery so that I can go back to a regular life. But.. I have had 2 heart surgeries already, so a 3rd one is super risky. They have put me on the heart transplant waiting list, as they feel a heart transplant would be better then attempting to introduce another valve after already having 2 surgeries involving my valve.
And thats where things are right now in my life. That's what I meant when I said drugs are fun, until they're no longer fun. I had so much "fun" for the 20 or so years that I was doing drugs, and in the end they kicked my ass and im lucky to still be alive. I had multiple overdoses while I was IVing. And since I spent so much time doing drugs by myself once the "girlfriend" was out of my life, that increased the risk I was taking. I've woken up in the hospital at least 5x from overdosing in a public bathroom and someone finding me passed out under the bathroom stall. I remember waking up with my face down on my bed side table when I was living at my dad's house, with a bunch of drool on the bedside table. None of these things were enough wake up call to make me stop. When we're using, we think we're acting normal and that no one else notices that we're geeked up.. when in reality, they 100% can tell that we're high. We're talking way too much, moving around too much and dont even notice it. This is why are families don't support our drug use, they notice the change in us and that we don't notice. Drugs make us feel wonderful, but we don't realize the harmful affects its having on the things around us. Imagine being dumb enough to continue IVing drugs while in the hospital, while you're in the hospital for that exact reason! That's beyond insane and dumb. I look back at all the stuff that I did while on drugs, and feel foolish. So while you haven't reached anywhere near the stage I was at, you still are on your own destructive path. Your family and friends care about you, and rather separate themselves from seeing you destruct your life.
I apologize for talking your ear off.. just felt it was a good time to share my experience with drugs and what path they can eventually lead you down, in hopes my story will convince you or maybe someone else to quit while they're ahead. The "girlfriend" that I had, she's no longer alive. She passed away a few years ago, and while I don't know for 100% fact that it was from drug use, but the way the obituary was worded.. it's pretty obvious thats what her family was saying without straight out saying it. I met that girl when I was 17.. im now 40+ and never thought life would go in the direction it did. All the warnings and red flags that came across my life, I just ignored them all. And now wish that I hadn't. Suboxone has been a complete lifesaver for me. I did buy some crack and some H/fetty a couple years ago on a whim, and while I enjoyed the high.. once it was done, I regretted it and haven't picked up again. The fact there is no more real H out there and that all these people are doing fetty is beyond sad. I bought the H/fetty to come down from the crack I bought, and while it did make the come down easy from the crack.. I didn't consider how powerful the fetty was, and built a habit that quickly off just 5 bags(the dealer would only sell me 5 bags, he refused to sell only 1 or 2). So tapering off the fetty, back on to Suboxone was a nightmare, as I wasn't expecting to be in withdrawals that easy... at the time when I was using H, it was actually H. There was no fetty. The first time I tried fetty, I was in the physical rehab after my first surgery. So the whole fetty thing started right as I was getting off drugs.. and im super thankful that I missed that wave). Anyway, Thanks for taking the time to read it if you've gotten this far.
I have a long history of drug use myself, weed, coke, H, PCP, molly.. thats about it that I can think of, although there might be a couple others. Drugs are fun, until they're not fun. Not looking to hijack said thread, and will share my experience with drugs.. and how it can start out as fun, until it's no longer fun. Life changing experience. It's a long read, so brace yourself or feel free to skip it.
Like many others, I started out smoking weed with friends, which eventually lead to PCP use after someone rolled up a blunt of PCP and introduced it into a cypher of blunts without telling anyone. That lead to me liking PCP, and eventually I stopped smoking weed and was only smoking PCP.. for years. Same thing happened to alot of my friends, all from that one situation. Later down the line I met a girl, she introduced me to coke, and I put down the PCP and was sniffing coke for a couple years, until one day someone sold us some H as coke, and at the time I had no clue thats what it was(was still young and naive at that time.. in my early 20s). Ended up in the pizza shop with my face down in a plate of pizza.. didn't think I would ever touch that stuff again. Wrong. This slowly transitioned me into a H habit, as we started buying H purposely after that day, while still buying coke here and there. So we were dabbling in both. I had no clue about H withdrawals until it was too late. This lead to us only doing H, and coke was out of the picture. Me and this girl did H for a couple years, money was completely drained at that point, and foolish me got wrapped up in counterfeit money with some friends. We figured out how to print our own bills, which at the time seemed like the ultimate dream.. unlimited money, what drug addict wouldn't love that? Especially when you have a high tolerance(at least I thought my tolerance was high at that stage of my life.. little did I know, this was only the beginning stages still, despite having using it for about 2-3 years). One my friends got caught with the fake money and told on everyone, and I was sentenced to prison time. Sat in prison for a little over 18 months, came home to the same girl that got me into the coke. I was craving H when I got out of prison still, but little did I know she had already started IVing it at that point. Prior to me going to prison, we were only sniffing our drugs. She eventually confessed her IV use, and while I wasn't interested in going down that route.. I eventually ended up allowing her to convince me into trying it. This was the BIGGEST mistake of my life. I did my first shot, and was super high.. I had never experienced a high like this before. I used to be addicted to the drip from sniffing coke and H. Shooting H was bringing on a whole new demon.. now I was addicted to the rush, and super high that came along with it. From that day on, there was no more sniffing drugs.. it was throw some water on it, and banging it. I continued to use drugs with my "girlfriend" for the next 5-10 years, and eventually me and her broke up. This didn't stop my drug use, and I'm the type of person who is more then comfortable getting high by myself. I'm a pretty resourceful person, and always found ways to get money. Mainly from stealing from stores, and selling the stuff I stole. I would rent motel rooms by myself, and spend the day getting high. At some point someone on the street introduced me to shooting coke, which was a new demon added to everything. I was blessed with good veins, so I never had to tie off or nothing, which was actually a curse.. because I likely shot more drugs then the people around me, due to the ease of things. At this time of my life, I had no clue about harm reduction.. would reuse rigs for weeks at a time, would use bottle caps sometimes that I found on the ground and would "clean" them and use them to shoot up with. This eventually lead to me getting heart disease. I remember the day when things went bad. I was in a motel, by myself.. had both coke and H, and had been shooting drugs for maybe 2 days at that point, and had 3 more days left in the room - by the way, I was homeless at this point. Family was beyond tired of my drug use, I had stolen from my pops a bunch of times, so he definitely wasn't allowing me to live with him, and holding a job was not even a thought in my mind. Anyway, I'm on my 2nd day in the motel.. getting high as usual, and I must have passed out from the H. When I woke up, I could barely move. I never felt like this in my life... I literally could barely move, and didn't know what to do. I didn't want to call the cops because I still had a bunch of coke and H left.. but I also couldn't do shit. I barely could get out of the bed. As much as I didn't want to call the cops, I didn't really have a choice.. I couldn't stand up, and keep in mind this is after sleeping for a bunch of hours. I knew something wasn't right, I just had no clue what it was. Using more drugs was the last thing on my mind. I crawled to the toilet, dumped all the drugs that I had and flushed them(took alot of willpower to do this, I was originally going to try and stash them in the little pocket in my boxer briefs, but I assumed I would be going to the hospital and didn't want to get any new charges). All the drugs got flushed, I called 911, and they take me to the hospital. They run a bunch of tests on me, and it turns out I had endocarditis. Ended up having to have heart surgery, valve replacement. Who would of ever thought from smoking weed as a youth, to in the hospital having my valve replaced. Things didn't end there. I ended up also with some back problem, due to me shooting drugs.. I forget what it was called, but I had a sharp pain in my back a little after getting in the hospital, and it turned out to be related to the IV use. This was also a curse, as they prescribed me 8mg dilaudid. Being an addict, I started shooting my dilaudid thru the IV I had in my arm while in the hospital. How dumb can one be, right? So I was in the hospital, still shooting drugs thru the picc line they put in my arm. So even when I got out the hospital, and was in the physical rehab place, I was still shooting drugs thru the picc line. Long story short, this continued on for the next 5 years, I ended up with endocarditis again since I didn't stop the IV use, and ended up having a 2nd heart surgery. This time the surgeons weren't fucking around, instead of replacing my heart valve, they just removed the valve. They told me if i decide to get clean, and can prove that im willing to stay clean.. that they would give me another surgery and add a new valve, but until then they were going to leave me without a right heart valve. This completely changed my life.. while I can still walk around, and take the stairs, I can't do anything that pushes my heart too much. No heavy lifting. No carrying medium weight things for too long, no running. Simple things like taking a shower make me feel drained. My energy levels are bleh. I can't even ride a damn bike. The surgeons knew what they were doing when they made that decision, and while I was pissed off initially.. it was probably the best thing they could of ever done for me, as its the only thing that made me decide to get off drugs. I'm currently on suboxone, and have been for the past 8 years. I live by myself, I have a small apartment and work online for my income. I don't go anywhere other then doctors appointments, I have no friends. Luckily, my family is back in my life. My doctors have agreed that I have proven that I am sober at this point in my life and have agreed to give me another heart surgery so that I can go back to a regular life. But.. I have had 2 heart surgeries already, so a 3rd one is super risky. They have put me on the heart transplant waiting list, as they feel a heart transplant would be better then attempting to introduce another valve after already having 2 surgeries involving my valve.
And thats where things are right now in my life. That's what I meant when I said drugs are fun, until they're no longer fun. I had so much "fun" for the 20 or so years that I was doing drugs, and in the end they kicked my ass and im lucky to still be alive. I had multiple overdoses while I was IVing. And since I spent so much time doing drugs by myself once the "girlfriend" was out of my life, that increased the risk I was taking. I've woken up in the hospital at least 5x from overdosing in a public bathroom and someone finding me passed out under the bathroom stall. I remember waking up with my face down on my bed side table when I was living at my dad's house, with a bunch of drool on the bedside table. None of these things were enough wake up call to make me stop. When we're using, we think we're acting normal and that no one else notices that we're geeked up.. when in reality, they 100% can tell that we're high. We're talking way too much, moving around too much and dont even notice it. This is why are families don't support our drug use, they notice the change in us and that we don't notice. Drugs make us feel wonderful, but we don't realize the harmful affects its having on the things around us. Imagine being dumb enough to continue IVing drugs while in the hospital, while you're in the hospital for that exact reason! That's beyond insane and dumb. I look back at all the stuff that I did while on drugs, and feel foolish. So while you haven't reached anywhere near the stage I was at, you still are on your own destructive path. Your family and friends care about you, and rather separate themselves from seeing you destruct your life.
I apologize for talking your ear off.. just felt it was a good time to share my experience with drugs and what path they can eventually lead you down, in hopes my story will convince you or maybe someone else to quit while they're ahead. The "girlfriend" that I had, she's no longer alive. She passed away a few years ago, and while I don't know for 100% fact that it was from drug use, but the way the obituary was worded.. it's pretty obvious thats what her family was saying without straight out saying it. I met that girl when I was 17.. im now 40+ and never thought life would go in the direction it did. All the warnings and red flags that came across my life, I just ignored them all. And now wish that I hadn't. Suboxone has been a complete lifesaver for me. I did buy some crack and some H/fetty a couple years ago on a whim, and while I enjoyed the high.. once it was done, I regretted it and haven't picked up again. The fact there is no more real H out there and that all these people are doing fetty is beyond sad. I bought the H/fetty to come down from the crack I bought, and while it did make the come down easy from the crack.. I didn't consider how powerful the fetty was, and built a habit that quickly off just 5 bags(the dealer would only sell me 5 bags, he refused to sell only 1 or 2). So tapering off the fetty, back on to Suboxone was a nightmare, as I wasn't expecting to be in withdrawals that easy... at the time when I was using H, it was actually H. There was no fetty. The first time I tried fetty, I was in the physical rehab after my first surgery. So the whole fetty thing started right as I was getting off drugs.. and im super thankful that I missed that wave). Anyway, Thanks for taking the time to read it if you've gotten this far.
Stassi202
Bluelighter
Lots of people are obviously struggling, and I see a lot of people who make me think of myself all those years ago, stuck in an environment where no one knew what was happening. Not only that but I was adopted, no one in my adopted family had any kind of mental health issues, they probably didn't know what addiction even was. I was on my own. Over 25 years later and lots of shit in between,
Due to my personal experience and knowing a few things that not everyone knows, or seems to understand, addiction is very personal and individual. Throwing 60 people into one room where age, nationality, education level, type and duration of addiction range from 0-Infinity while treating them all the same.. no wonder I've been in rehab 35 times. It's not rocket science
Due to my personal experience and knowing a few things that not everyone knows, or seems to understand, addiction is very personal and individual. Throwing 60 people into one room where age, nationality, education level, type and duration of addiction range from 0-Infinity while treating them all the same.. no wonder I've been in rehab 35 times. It's not rocket science
slayerbizkit
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2008
- Messages
- 22
I need cool friends like that
jessepinkman779
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2014
- Messages
- 159
I've given up giving up. I know how childish and selfish this must sound, but I fucking Love coke. So, I'm doing about half oz per week at the moment, well that's what I did this past week. I just Love it and I can't cope with the cravings for it even when I just cut down. Maybe I'll try in the new year, but I can't see it. I'm either not ready to cut down or stop, or I'm a lifer, or it'll take my life some day I just don't know. It's all I want to spend my money on, I always have to have some either on me or in the house or I can't rest. I'm in drug therapy, but my therapist can obviously see I'm not going to stop. I'm not sure why I go to see her, Well, I am - She'll stop my Espranor if I don't go. However, I'm halfway to solving that problem. I've cut down from 12mg to 6mg in 4 weeks, down to 4mg tomorrow. She'll probably still want to see me when I'm off the espranor regarding the coke. I have explained, politely to her, that I like coke too much to stop. I'm guessing she's just box ticking, either that or she really believes she can get me off coke. She keeps telling me what most coke is cut with. I watch mine get cut of a kg block so it's as clean as I can get it. I haven't told her that. Me and my dealer have a deal 1. I watch it cut off the block 2. If there isn't time for that the first time he cuts my coke I take my custom elsewhere. And he doesn't want to lose customers like me.
It sounds like you've been to hell and back and lived to tell the story. Your heart problems do scare the life out of me. I did have a CT angiogram earlier this year and everything was fine. However, heart problem do run in my dads side of the family. I don't really worry about my heart. I do however worry about other things like cancer etc, So at those times i just snort more and forget.
jessepinkman779
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2014
- Messages
- 159
Whats this VC discord channel? Is it just called VC.I need cool friends like that
jessepinkman779
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2014
- Messages
- 159
35 times? Man that's a lot. My family want me to go in but I've told them it's pointless.
