As someone with a similar situation to yours and that got into empathogens for this same reason, i can give some (limited) insight. This will read like a train-of-thought kinda thing, because it is, so bear with me. I'm not fully on mega autistic but i am definitely on the spectrum (diagnosed) and in general have struggled with mental health (have been to therapy a few years, have been on ssris which SUCK, etc etc).
It does work, even long term and not just while under the influence, but it's not a cure-all, and it can exacerbate some of the mental unpleasantries you tend to think/overthink as someone who is not fully socialized if you misuse them.
My experience with MDMA specifically, especially the first time taking it, was overwhelmingly positive to the point it felt like a parody of a drug. It was as if i had been a crumpled, inverted glove all my life, and suddenly someone had blown air into it to turn it 'wearable', and even as the effects faded, the glove stayed the right way and uncrumpled. It basically gives your brain hardware drivers for what 'love' is supposed to feel like and how much of it you are capable of feeling. Perhaps even to a fault, more on that later. But it does bring out sensations and emotions you usually would not find possible to experience and adds a new permanent dimension and depth to what you can usually feel.
From a self-proclaimed recluse who avoided leaving his house as if his life depended on it, and an unsocialized awkward mess that would avoid people like the plague and get fatigued after 2 hours spending time IRL with good friends and someone who absolutely fumbled being in love like a teenage unempathetic autistic prodigy would, i turned into a very sociable guy who decided to embrace the party lion collective social lifestyle and herald the love i feel for others on MDMA even when sober because i now know that it's now a thing i can feel and wish to cultivate it as much as possible, everything else be damned, because i suddenly don't feel excluded from people and their lives anymore, not in a 'collectivist taxpayer social duty' way, but in a more primal caveman brotherhood tribal way, if that makes sense. I actually like people a lot more now.
There's also in my case a religious side to it, but that's not relevant here and i won't discuss it much, but "do unto others" is a much easier task now.
The bottom line is, socializing is now for me a good thing, and while i still absolutely suck at it and am (at least, in my mind) a fucking embarrassment when doing it, i now actively seek it and no longer get drained when interacting with people for long periods; i make friends easier, i talk to people more eagerly, i am much more willing in taking the risk of talking to someone instead of being quiet and shy, and i lost quite a bit of my underlying misanthropy i had cultivated over the years; music now brings out emotions violently out of me, especially hardcore techno since that's what i like to roll with and i love it (rob gee was absolutely right). I also talk to girls MUCH easier even normally now, it's a lot less daunting of a task now, although i suspect wanting to genuinely just befriend/talk to them and being disinterested in getting into their pants them also helps (if anyone has found a molecule that fixes being absolutely fucking done with women and their bullshit and not wanting to deal with it anymore, let me know), but if you're still playing that game, this will help you not be afraid to play it.
You can't really go back to the hikkineet dark room lifestyle after seeing the light, and finding peace with others instead of being constantly judgemental and wary is something that feels achievable now, and I wish i had taken it sooner, really.
In this regard, i find it unmatched: psychedelics didn't do this, only molly did. For example LSD was overwhelmingly disappointing in this regard; it helped in many other ways, but not in heightened/learned shared empathy and need/desire/aptness for socialization.
So if you want change in this sense, this can definitely catalyze it like no other drug i've tried so far.
What's the catch, then?
The catch is that the comedown is more insidious than for the normal user, at least for me, and you can easily go overboard in how seriously you take these newfound feelings. It can get overwhelming.
I don't get depressed or apathetic like many people do, i mean, i'm already kinda depressed and gloomy and apathetic in general (i wouldn't be desperately experimenting with hard drugs otherwise), but it absolutely exacerbates anxiety in me for at least a week and then some afterwards, and flashbacks to embarassing moments or stupid shit i did in the past (in general but especially during raves because of course you're an obnoxious hyperstimulated idiot on molly) come back in the form of almost physical pain pangs, constantly, more than normal and usual. I also become a sub-30 IQ idiot after taking it and will make the stupidest fucking decisions ever and bother strangers during the train ride back from the venue even after the effects have all but faded, because my brain is still zapped out of normal functioning. The feeling of 'my existence is a bother to others' is absolutely amplified for at least a while afterwards after i regain my wits and realize what i've said/done and i become a regretful insecure blob for the entirety of the period in which my neurotransmitters are off-balance. Supplements do help, but the (alleged?) tryptophan hydroxylase inhibition lasting as much as it does really makes sense in how i feel afterwards and for how long. I perceive a lot of myself and my behaviors as pathetic, my brain does the rest, and now i'm not having a great time. I also don't have a very fulfilling life, so i feel this a LOT more than others would, and if you're in a similar boat then things can become harsh pretty quick. It won't make your life any better, just your mindset towards some specific aspects of it. Nothing more, nothing less.
Add to that the fact that i tend to obsess over interests and experiences, and you have a nervous wreck uninterested in most anything going on (or not going on, really) in his life for a while who's genuinely distraught for DAYS about having bumped with some random girl in the club almost spilling her drink or having bothered strangers at a club or not feeling worthy of being in the crowd because you don't know the etiquette and scene well enough or heightened feelings of self-consciousness to my 'weirdness' on top of what i usually worry about. Hell, i still grimace if i think about some of it.
I feel like i crave external validation WAY MORE now because of all this, is what i'm saying. You might not be immediately equipped to deal with how much you might like people now and it can bring about some less than ideal moments, so being level headed especially afterwards is something you are going to have to put effort in being. You will tolerate loneliness less (not solitude per se, but actual loneliness), if you're already isolated it can make you absolutely LOATHE your current life situation (which, i mean, can be good if that's motivation to change it, but it can get hard to want to be around people and not have any around).
If you think these kind of worries and issues may seem irrational or stupid, that's kinda the point. If you tend to be overly self-conscious, this is something that can absolutely make it worse to some extent. I initially thought this was just me being me at first since i do this shit normally but i quickly realized this was coming from something chemically tangible going on in my brain, since it becomes stronger after a roll. I think i would probably ignore it or not care if i was more "normal" since most people usually shrug this off and don't care even when doing more embarrassing shit than me (drunk people are way worse...), but if you're autistic and overthink your existence and have poor social skills and easily regret awkwardness, boy oh boy. You'll be debating and fighting those thoughts for a while. It's not incapacitating but it kinda feels like it sometimes. It definitely can steer your behavior to be more accommodating and anxious, which is kind of the opposite of what you want out of the experience.
A healthy lifestyle definitely helps offset this a lot. Taking supplements during comedown periods also do help (you should be taking them before, during and after). Benzos also help if you get them prescribed for anxiety/insomnia as i do (alprazolam) but you should be wanting to deal with it as soberly and as functionally as possible. But they do help a lot. Weed on the other makes it worse in my experience.
All this being said, i still love mdma. It did help me immensely over a lot of personal trauma, it did help me understand a dimension of feeling i didn't know existed, it did diminish my suicidal ideation to the point it's almost not a problem anymore, it did open up a new world for me, it did make me meet friends i would have never talked to otherwise, it does nuke my everlasting background anxiety, and it is absolutely spectacular even in just a purely hedonistic way. But it will absolutely turn on you on a DIME the second you stop respecting it and taking it with any degree of measurable frequency without you even knowing what hit you.
Out of an abundance of caution I wouldn't take it more than 3, maybe 4 times a year TOPS (3 months between uses is what is usually considered responsible but it's still a lot if you do it EVERY 3 months), but i still tend to recommend the experience to all my friends in the spectrum. It's something i personally think everyone really needs to witness at least once, because for the emotionally stunted, the poorly socialized and the ones with latent unresolved issues (every human alive it would seem given how shit things are in general.........) it really is like being able to see for the first time. I don't think it substitutes good therapy outright but it definitely complements it and gives you things that only therapy just won't give you.
I do wonder about 6-APB and similar alleged comedown-less empathogens, and I am also curious about mescaline in this sense, as it seems to have the best of both worlds, and should be trying it at some point next year, but i'm sure someone would know better about these substances around here.
Either way, it is a powerful tool for the understanding of what purpose socializing is for, if you don't have the capacity to understand it, or have had bad experiences when trying it and only have negative feelings associated with it, but you'll still have to put in work in general.
I hope this is of some value and isn't just a masturbatory excercise in writing. I'm sure other people in here can and will relate at least somewhat to the experience i'm describing.
but the med is so helpful in every other way. I feel you with the loneliness pangs. I'm not yet diagnosed with anything either. For me it's either autism or schizotypal PD, possibly both. There's a bit of both spectrums in my bloodline.
