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Cocaine Cocaine is Hell

justme6263 said:
I don't agree with this part - every coke head I've come across is a complete narcissist and arsehole when on the shit. Including myself. We look, act and speak like the least charismatic people around. Unless I've missed you point?
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I do actually see his point… but that bullshit charisma is exactly that - it’s bullshit.
People think they’re magnetic and amazing when high on cocaine.. and they certainly can be to someone who’s none the wiser.
But that goes away real fucking fast.

I’m a garbage human when doing coke. I don’t care about anyone else in this world. I want you to hear me speak because I’m brilliant! Then I want you to get the fuck away from me so I can go do more drugs without you in my fucking face.
 
pixies+ said:
I do actually see his point… but that bullshit charisma is exactly that - it’s bullshit.
People think they’re magnetic and amazing when high on cocaine.. and they certainly can be to someone who’s none the wiser.
But that goes away real fucking fast.

I’m a garbage human when doing coke. I don’t care about anyone else in this world. I want you to hear me speak because I’m brilliant! Then I want you to get the fuck away from me so I can go do more drugs without you in my fucking face.
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Sorry but this bit made me chuckle because I relate so fucking much. Its just the truth and nobody can deny it. Being in a room full of people on cocaine having a 'conversation' is my idea of hell, nobody is speaking about the same fucking thing! Its just a load of people speaking to themselves with the impression of it being each other.
 
justme6263 said:
Sorry but this bit made me chuckle because I relate so fucking much. Its just the truth and nobody can deny it. Being in a room full of people on cocaine having a 'conversation' is my idea of hell, nobody is speaking about the same fucking thing! Its just a load of people speaking to themselves with the impression of it being each other.
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Now you’ve got me having a chuckle lol
You nailed it … It’s actually full blown torture 🤯😂

ps: im not brilliant 😂 fucking cocaine

Not sure what kinda music you like, but Willie Carlisle’s song Cheap Cocaine has been on repeat for a few days now. Even if you don’t like the music, the lyrics may be entertaining lol
 
Thank you! Just another reason why I hate doing coke and will legit only do it once a year or so. I am going to own all my silly little incidents though, because that's what life's for!
 
cycloprop said:
Thank you! Just another reason why I hate doing coke and will legit only do it once a year or so. I am going to own all my silly little incidents though, because that's what life's for!
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100%!!

Cocaine IS hell. No doubt about it. But like… that’s funny 🤷‍♀️😂
 
pixies+ said:
I feel angry when I think about people that introduce something so evil into someone’s life.
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It's been decades, but I had a similar feeling regarding the way me and my group of friends, close friends, were introduced to smoking coke.
Learned how to spin it up by a real POS dude one of our close group introduced. Out of a dozen of us, me and a maybe 3 others had the hooks set.
Out of that 4 or so, I probably got it the worst, or at least the longest nightmare.
 
Biomed Tech Guy said:
It's been decades, but I had a similar feeling regarding the way me and my group of friends, close friends, were introduced to smoking coke.
Learned how to spin it up by a real POS dude one of our close group introduced. Out of a dozen of us, me and a maybe 3 others had the hooks set.
Out of that 4 or so, I probably got it the worst, or at least the longest nightmare.
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That’s awful. Honestly.. it’s fucking awful.
I was 24 and had no fucking clue. And at the time.. I didn’t really care.

Almost 20 years later, I have a much different attitude towards what was “done” to me.. even though I willfully accepted. I’ve played my part. But if that man didn’t invite me into his world.. I’m not sure I would’ve found it. Who knows. At the end of the day… it did happen ..and now I have to deal with what kind of harm that I welcomed into my life.

I’m sorry it happened to you as well.. in a “same but different” scenario.

I hope you’re well these days ❤️
 
Biomed Tech Guy said:
It's been decades, but I had a similar feeling regarding the way me and my group of friends, close friends, were introduced to smoking coke.
Learned how to spin it up by a real POS dude one of our close group introduced. Out of a dozen of us, me and a maybe 3 others had the hooks set.
Out of that 4 or so, I probably got it the worst, or at least the longest nightmare.
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Mate as pixies+ said - its fucking awful - I was introduced to smoking rock by a POS my cousin knew and we both got hooked almost immediately, that person who introduced you to smoking really is a POS. I too hope you're good atm, if you're not right now, then one day I pray you will be. I pray we all will be.
 
pixies+ said:
That’s awful. Honestly.. it’s fucking awful.
I was 24 and had no fucking clue. And at the time.. I didn’t really care.

Almost 20 years later, I have a much different attitude towards what was “done” to me.. even though I willfully accepted. I’ve played my part. But if that man didn’t invite me into his world.. I’m not sure I would’ve found it. Who knows. At the end of the day… it did happen ..and now I have to deal with what kind of harm that I welcomed into my life.

I’m sorry it happened to you as well.. in a “same but different” scenario.

I hope you’re well these days ❤️
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justme6263 said:
Mate as pixies+ said - its fucking awful - I was introduced to smoking rock by a POS my cousin knew and we both got hooked almost immediately, that person who introduced you to smoking really is a POS. I too hope you're good atm, if you're not right now, then one day I pray you will be. I pray we all will be.
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Thank you both.
In the 80s, cocaine was popular albeit not so cheap for the recreational users. In the movies, on TV, and pervasive in society, it was EVERYWHERE.
BUT smoking it wasn't how "we" had ever used it.
Snorting it, I could buy a G for a weekend and if I had some left it was there for the next weekend.
Smoking it? I'd stay latched on until I was broke, out of credit, or absolutely HAD to show up somewhere.
I GIVE THANKS TO GOD for finally kicking it. Even after a 3 month rehab that opened my eyes to the SPIRITUAL BATTLES that go on with that and other drugs, and coming out of that rehab certain I'd NEVER pick it up again, I did.
The thing is, soon thereafter I just stopped, and had ZERO desire for it ever again.
I want all of us to do what's best for our soul!
 
Biomed Tech Guy said:
Thank you both.
In the 80s, cocaine was popular albeit not so cheap for the recreational users. In the movies, on TV, and pervasive in society, it was EVERYWHERE.
BUT smoking it wasn't how "we" had ever used it.
Snorting it, I could buy a G for a weekend and if I had some left it was there for the next weekend.
Smoking it? I'd stay latched on until I was broke, out of credit, or absolutely HAD to show up somewhere.
I GIVE THANKS TO GOD for finally kicking it. Even after a 3 month rehab that opened my eyes to the SPIRITUAL BATTLES that go on with that and other drugs, and coming out of that rehab certain I'd NEVER pick it up again, I did.
The thing is, soon thereafter I just stopped, and had ZERO desire for it ever again.
I want all of us to do what's best for our soul!
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You don’t know how much I mean it when I say I’m so fucking happy for you.

You’re very blessed you made it out and stuck with it. I believe you know this though. You’ve seen how dirty the world is… but you’re no longer rolling in the dirt.

❤️
 
pixies+ said:
You’re very blessed you made it out and stuck with it. I believe you know this though. You’ve seen how dirty the world is… but you’re no longer rolling in the dirt.
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Literally...Blessed.
That drug, doing it THAT way, and the way that I, having been what the world would perceive as "a good kid" well behaved with a quality pre-K through High school education including "morals", ran behind getting it, getting more, almost EVERY time I would do it....
Usually the only thing that would make me stop was running out of money. So many major events, holiday days, planned trips, even work, you name it. I would tell myself (actually IMO I would listen to the voices of deception, internal and external) "Hey-just do (insert any quantity or $ amount here) and then stop and go to (insert responsibility, event, occasion) and it will be different this time."
It's straight up EVIL how someone like me, and that goes for most of US, can let something take control over how we act or think and what we do.
Both the things that happened that led to me and others using like that AND the way those chains were broken leave no doubt in my mind that it's spiritual WARFARE.
Unfortunately I'm in another battle with opiates/kratom alkaloids, and that has a horrible physical dependency factor that coke NEVER had.
 
I just want to add to my post because of your "rolling in the dirt" comment.
I'd say there are those who, certainly on the surface, don't "appear" to be rolling in the dirt, or rubbing elbows with the dregs of society, in pursuit of this drug this way, and other drugs even moreso can seem like everything is just fine.
Crack in particular though usually involves going places and interacting with people who you would NEVER otherwise be around.
The things I saw and experienced I won't even begin to post about, and most of the people I encountered had it way worse than me, and debauched themselves and their lives to even lower depths than I sank to, but then again that can be all relative and different depending on lots of variables.
The only reason why I bring up "people and places" is there is NO doubt that I had the most powerful omniscient spirit(s), entities, guardian angel(s), Jesus and God Himself that preserved my life, health, and conditions versus the forces and circumstances that I put myself in.
There are simply WAY TOO MANY times that I could have been murdered, hurt beyond full recovery, arrested and imprisoned for a long time, or suffered personal health issues for anything but the power of good to account for that NOT happening to me.
 
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Biomed Tech Guy said:
I just want to add to my post because of your "rolling in the dirt" comment.
I'd say there are those who, certainly on the surface, don't "appear" to be rolling in the dirt, or rubbing elbows with the dregs of society, in pursuit of this drug this way, and other drugs even moreso can seem like everything is just fine.
Crack in particular though usually involves going places and interacting with people who you would NEVER otherwise be around.
The things I saw and experienced I won't even begin to post about, and most of the people I encountered had it way worse than me, and debauched themselves and their lives to even lower depths than I sank to, but then again that can be all relative and different depending on lots of variables.
The only reason why I bring up "people and places" is there is NO doubt, absolutely ZERO % chance that I had the most powerful omniscient spirit(s), entities, guardian angel(s), Jesus and God Himself that preserved my life, health, and conditions versus the forces and circumstances that I put myself in.
There are simply WAY TOO MANY times that I could have been murdered, hurt beyond full recovery, arrested and imprisoned for a long time, or suffered personal health issues for anything but the power of good to account for that NOT happening to me.
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Looking at both your posts hit something deep inside me. You touched on a lot of the same feelings I have.

I also grew up as a “good kid” from a “good family”. I was very fortunate in just about every way, just as you said you were. I didn’t do anything my friends didn’t do. If anything, I was the nervous one always scared of getting caught.. I kinda “mothered” my friends.

Until that experience with that guy (who was 20 years older than me and had kids a few years younger than me in school… weird situation to say the least). That’s when all hell broke loose. I was no longer anyone’s anything. If you had nothing to give me… I can’t say I wanted you around me. Honestly. I didn’t care about myself. I lost all self worth. I only wanted to feel my head nearly explode. I lived for those very specific 3-5 seconds.

I’ve put myself in some very dangerous situations. I’ve woken up in the middle of “things” I didn’t agree to. I was told more than once that I was lucky I didn’t call X person for drugs because I would’ve been raped and had my car stolen. I’ve been in very gross crack houses, trap houses, the absolute gutter of society. I was so naive. I didn’t care. And I’m still very naive in many ways. That’s both saved me and hurt me in very different ways. I’d say it’s funny… and I guess it is. Just not “haha” funny.

I didn’t look like someone who rolled in the dirt. I don’t believe I look like that to this day… but that’s not really the point. I just get what you’re saying.

I should be dead I don’t know how many times over. By accident and on purpose. I should NOT be speaking to you or anyone else right now.

I’m lucky compared to MANY people on and off this site. im but a fetus. I’m very aware of that. I never try to pretend like I know everything. I don’t. Not even close. My experience is mine. I have no qualifications. I rarely try to give drug advice because it’s not really what I know… you know? And I’m fine with that. I prefer to stick to talking things out with people.. offering little advice while mostly trying to help someone’s confidence. Adding hope and possibility where I see fit. I don’t always get that right either.
That’s the best I can do in my opinion.

Call it what you will… Devine intervention… guardian angels.. spiritual experiences. I know what you’re saying and I appreciate your words.

❤️
 
drewbocop said:
Opioids and amphetamines are great medications too... until you abuse them. Get a clue
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I promise you.. if you follow and read between many lines.. he’s brilliant. He’s not being serious.. trust me.

I can’t pretend to catch even half of his riddles.. but I love the ones I do catch.

❤️
 
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