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Venting I just hate being sober

emkee_reinvented said:
Missed my last Kratom order for year s, direct supply from the source.
And all the online or Smartshop Kratom, is near half as strong.
So quality drop, but price a increase that far out-cedes it.

Sad as it was so benign easy to WD from, like GHB/ GBL.
Never had any troubles regarding addiction with those.
The WD-s are for me so mild i functional, and smart enough,
not to go to deep.

Now i am left the choice of 3 super addicting replacement s.
Which you can roulette, but its a thinner line between nice and disaster.
The 3 Alcohol, Benzodiazepinen and o-DSMT. All 3 equally dangerous.

But that s free choice, just never make a bad one, i did with Booze, 3 x !
So i treated the 'Three Times" rule.

So i may never get physically addicted again.
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I've been taken kratom for 17 years ,500 grams a month ,it's gotten so bad that for the last 3 years we holiday in Thailand.right next to our hotel there is a hippy commune and the guy has fresh kratom trees .I used to walk up there every morning and get a litre bottle of kratom juice [the real stuff,not the crappy soda drinks] he would pull about 30 leaves off the tree every day ,boy was I in heaven.he showed me how it should be eaten ie tear around the stem and coffee is a must .the taxi drivers were even dropping off leaves to security guards at lobby lol .it got to the point where I was flushing the leaves down the hotel toilet cos the fridge was full.they last for ages if you keep them right .
 
Mushoku_Sensei said:
Ooh 😲... That might be a tip to be remembered!! You sure about that?
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No, but Clobazam has a ceiling of 40 mg, Pyrazolam not.
And the 1-st super selective anti-anxiety and anti-seizure only.
The other hits one more, and can probably be overdone.
And maybe it can produce a benzo feel, i never tried

And off-course both are addicting taken daily.
But i feel neither when i take em, btw don t have anxiety.
So for me is hard to get addicted to them, but if easy to taper.

They very unlike sedating/ hypnotic and amnesiac hitting Benzo s.
I praise em, but medically getting Clobazam impossibility.
Even when presribe, due to shortages 🖕
 
Mushoku_Sensei said:
. Nothing. (It's probably true that we're a bit easier to rule than others. It takes an awful lot to spark serious protest...)
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Maybe I think the US is given ya guys a good run for your money there. So funny when Trump told the German PM (President?) that D-day "Not such a good day for you guys" -- He just looks shocked "Actually that was the beginning to the end of nazi oppression and a day we celebrate too" (Paraphrased sorry for the quotes for effect lol)

Good info -- a less addictive benzo would be a good horizontal move for A LOT of ppl
 
Neuroborean said:
Yeah, a similar thing is happening to me, they called me from another "state" (not really state, but to make me understood) where I need to see a psychiatrist for an ADHD appointment, they took months to give me the appointment and it's now with only 1 week to prepare and it's like almost 400euros to reach there now in summer (holiday place..) then I ran off of kratom at the same time and I will go there in withdrawals I think, I doubt my 500g will reach tomorrow morning... hopefully they will, but probably they won't so wont' have them till wednesday night when I reach back where I'm living, life is harsh sometimes. I barely slept tonight, even with 10mg diazepam...
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Neuroborean said:
in my case the worst of withdrawals is insomnia, motivation/lethargy and also feeling like a constant knot in my solar plexus (upper stomach), basically anxiety.
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hope your feeling better i had to go to the doctor today my wife phoned and unbelievable i got an appointment straight away due to the fact my tummy has been so sore and i havnt been able to eat or even drink water without running to the bathroom ,apparently they take it very seriously because normally you would have to wait 2 weeks to see a doctor ,ive lost almost half a stone in 5 days or so just through lack of food and fluids .i explained id tried imodium and it never worked [which it didnt ] and he prescribed me 56 15mg codeine tablets which i didnt expect nor was seeking ,its the first time ive been to doctors in 10 years or so and have no history of substance abuse that they are aware of anyway lol .anyway i feel blessed because i now feel normal and have energy ,able to do things like quotes and invoicing which without kratom do not have the energy or incentive to do ,looking forward to some home cooked food tonight .the doctor said ill prescribe you 56 tablets as they might come in handy if you hit your thumb with your hammer in the future .theres hope for humanity yet
 
notsmokeymcpot42088 said:
Maybe I think the US is given ya guys a good run for your money there. So funny when Trump told the German PM (President?) that D-day "Not such a good day for you guys" -- He just looks shocked "Actually that was the beginning to the end of nazi oppression and a day we celebrate too" (Paraphrased sorry for the quotes for effect lol)

Good info -- a less addictive benzo would be a good horizontal move for A LOT of ppl
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not such a good day for american soldiers ,i think Eisenhower predicted that 3 out of 10 us soldiers would be killed in the first wave at Normandy whether this was the actual figure i dont know
 
Uden said:
If I could find anything... I'd be off the wagon in no time flat. Fucking hate sobriety. My brain won't cooperate. I finally found some opanas today... fucking ridiculous prices. But they "helped" as much as something you can't feel CAN help.. I admit I actually got excited thinking I might get a snap off them. Nope. 45mg all at once, and it took the edge off. Shoulda known better.

There is no place for me here sober. I know I sound like a self defeatist. Maybe I am. I personally think I'm just being honest. I suppose the inner workings of the psyche and what is truly what isn't for me to decide.
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Mine went the other way round, working my ass of whole day in the heat.
Already on some o-DSMT, should have stopped there. But it seemed mild.
Evening approached and there was still a wet wash waiting to be hung.

So a little more o-DSMT. Way less total intake then normal when non-tolerant.
But during hanging it started hitting way to strong.
Made dinner, looked at it and took a bite, got bucket and laid flat on the ground.

Luckily i didn t need the bucket, but eating impossible,
i was dehydrated noticeable. So drank a Gallon of Oat drink,
water and went to bed but couldn t sleep. Untill 9:45.
Woke at 13:45, hate that, lost day, own fault.

Now i feel dumb. Bangs his head in theory, what have i done.
 
Uden said:
I was a pothead for something like 30 years. From 15 til 40ish. So 25ish years. I've let my body deteriorate. I have nothing but a string of loss following me around. For better or worse, correct or incorrect, I believe I've had a view of "the other side" and I honestly can't wait to get back. I feel very empty most of the time. Like my insides fell out onto the ground. Hollow. I don't enjoy doing anything. Yeah. I'm really good at parties.
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I have nothing but a string of loss following me around

Poetic, and empty is not uncommon to feel at the same time.
But that sentence shows some beatification is done on it.
It doesn t sound the same as life suck s.

Mine would be more like:
Live seem s to be adding more problem s.
Then humanly are possible to solve.
So i am followed by the remain s,
unsolved rubble.

Atm i going uphill quitte a time, and the top is not in sight yet,
"so i got too keep on pushing through" [mr. Bobby]

En dat deed die ook !
 
emkee_reinvented said:
Mine went the other way round, working my ass of whole day in the heat.
Already on some o-DSMT, should have stopped there. But it seemed mild.
Evening approached and there was still a wet wash waiting to be hung.

So a little more o-DSMT. Way less total intake then normal when non-tolerant.
But during hanging it started hitting way to strong.
Made dinner, looked at it and took a bite, got bucket and laid flat on the ground.

Luckily i didn t need the bucket, but eating impossible,
i was dehydrated noticeable. So drank a Gallon of Oat drink,
water and went to bed but couldn t sleep. Untill 9:45.
Woke at 13:45, hate that, lost day, own fault.

Now i feel dumb. Bangs his head in theory, what have i done.
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sorry excuse my ignorance what is o-dsmt .thanks
 
emkee_reinvented said:
Mine went the other way round, working my ass of whole day in the heat.
Already on some o-DSMT, should have stopped there. But it seemed mild.
Evening approached and there was still a wet wash waiting to be hung.

So a little more o-DSMT. Way less total intake then normal when non-tolerant.
But during hanging it started hitting way to strong.
Made dinner, looked at it and took a bite, got bucket and laid flat on the ground.

Luckily i didn t need the bucket, but eating impossible,
i was dehydrated noticeable. So drank a Gallon of Oat drink,
water and went to bed but couldn t sleep. Untill 9:45.
Woke at 13:45, hate that, lost day, own fault.

Now i feel dumb. Bangs his head in theory, what have i done.
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Felt... I feel dumb so often 🙄
 
Mushoku_Sensei said:
Yes. A lot stronger. It's actually the same molecule that the body's making out of Tramadol which is responsible for it's opioid effect
Tramadol is a prodrug for that but has a serotonergic effect on it's own that O-DSMT doesn't
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i see.ive had tramadol and it has a nice effect.something i dont quite understand is ive done cwe on co codamol and its always made me feel sickly with no buzz but today i recieved a legitimate prescription for 15mg codeine x 56 for an upset tummy ive had for 5 days and ive taken 100mg and feel great ,like floating when walking .
 
lost weekend said:
i see.ive had tramadol and it has a nice effect.something i dont quite understand is ive done cwe on co codamol and its always made me feel sickly with no buzz but today i recieved a legitimate prescription for 15mg codeine x 56 for an upset tummy ive had for 5 days and ive taken 100mg and feel great ,like floating when walking .
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I have noever tried cwe but you're making me a bit jealous 😅
 
Dont be!! tramadol is WEIRD -- no offense to anyone that enjoys it, I mean 'weird' in the traditional opiate sense. They use to be literally gratis at almost every dealers house around here (Or if ppl ran out of money that was kind of the recourse better than saying fck right off -- nah don't got nothin for ya but take a fistful of these -- "fck alright I get it" lol)----Lifesavers on probation though! (Old-school 5-panel days)
 
Mushoku_Sensei said:
I have noever tried cwe but you're making me a bit jealous 😅
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It's never worked for me ,I've always gotten all the paracetamol out and it's a clear liquid but as soon as I drink it [and it tastes of codiene ] I just want to go to bed cos I feel nauseous, but these actual tablets are amazing ,like a fuzzy blanket and wanting to talk to everyone .
 
notsmokeymcpot42088 said:
Dont be!! tramadol is WEIRD -- no offense to anyone that enjoys it, I mean 'weird' in the traditional opiate sense. They use to be literally gratis at almost every dealers house around here (Or if ppl ran out of money that was kind of the recourse better than saying fck right off -- nah don't got nothin for ya but take a fistful of these -- "fck alright I get it" lol)----Lifesavers on probation though! (Old-school 5-panel days)
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lol I like tramadol and ya I guess im kinda weird hehe. Nah but I know what you’re saying. Back in the day when I went to rehab for Roxi’s and such, I had a whole drawer full of tramadol bottles that I never used. I would just throw them in the drawer every time I’d get them from my doctor and try to get other stuff. When I finally got home from rehab and tried them one night thinking it would be like a Tylenol I was pleasantly surprised. I like to drink coffee and take them with clonazepam
 
AngelsandFairiesarereal said:
lol I like tramadol and ya I guess im kinda weird hehe. Nah but I know what you’re saying. Back in the day when I went to rehab for Roxi’s and such, I had a whole drawer full of tramadol bottles that I never used. I would just throw them in the drawer every time I’d get them from my doctor and try to get other stuff. When I finally got home from rehab and tried them one night thinking it would be like a Tylenol I was pleasantly surprised. I like to drink coffee and take them with clonazepam
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Tramadol is a weird high dosnt really feel like an opiate atol but if I had some I'd surely Finnish the whole lot lol.i once took it for 4 weeks at high doses years ago when I ran out it was full on withdrawls ,working 9 hours a day trying to avoid as much contact with other people was hell
 
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