let me talk some more about how awesome and spiritually high i am

[foodcrisis]

EDIT: i am editing the start of this thread over half a year later, because i keep topping the thread as a form of journal with my experience as i describe in this first post. it could be a bit overwhelming, but i think it formed to be no more confusing than the average novel. i will start however by writing a new preface that details what you could read about if you choose to go through this post.

i start this thread talking about how i was hit by a car and had to slow down my breathing pattern drastically because of headaches and nerve damage symptoms. this new form of breathing brings me to a higher level with and with out drugs... through out this thread, i describe how i don't know if my friend was raped by his father or if it's some sort of delusional memory that he fabricated from schizophrenia and also drug use. how i myself was molested by a neighbor a few years older and this changed my view on the world. you can read about the struggles i've had with this and how it affects me as an adult. you can read about how i'm overcoming with music and art and don't really believe it's a problem that i could be delusional because i'm making such objectively successful art and music that is still original. that i am recording things by ear that i can go back to with a tuner and say this is objectively solid intervals in music. this makes me hesitant to take medication for my schizophrenia and i can really care less for keeping track of the real world. i talk about how i think i'm connecting on a higher level with nature. i talk about how i believe i'm getting gang stalked and will leave very little objective information to the user that would lead them to trust me that i am actually in an experiment with the CIA, but you could read this as fiction and think of it as a type of movie of fiction novel, but this is what i perceive. maybe you want to read it. i don't mind getting a TL,DR... some people like to read about others problems and mental health issues.

below the "--------" will start how this thread began fruition:


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this is a thread about how meditation gets me breathing in a certain pattern that causes me to not sleep and be in some state of mind conscious of thoughts instead of sleeping for days at a time.... first i just want to say i googled does sleep lower blood pressure and it's yes... also i google does crying lower blood presssure and it's yes it can... also it says meditation lowers blood pressure, and also that lower blood pressure will make a person pale... so when you combine these things you will get why i stay up for days. i start to breath a certain way in and out through my nose, and this causes me to tear up. i drink a lot of water, and just cry and breath really well. when i lay down for bed i never actually fall asleep and i just stay up crying and visualizing white light. i did this working minimum wage jobs for weeks at a time for certain points, really only sleeping short periods every couple days. i'd breath so well and my blood pressure would be so perfect that it was like my body was constantly being recharged. i remember working at a car wash when getting off prescribed risperdal that i was forced on by the hospital. i was so grateful, i couldn't stop crying. there must be a ton of locals that noticed this. i'd wipe my eyes between cars, but you could see me tearing up having to deal with the customers. you couldn't tell i was crying or going crazy at all from the way i talked. i just sounded like a regular sales person employee, but my eyes were watering like crazy. it confused people. i thought it was pretty funny... here's what reminded me of this:

so this person on reddit simply asked how they could get schizophrenic symptoms as a non schizophrenic person, and instead of first listing meditation as advice, i replied with this:

"it sounds like you are gung ho on trying drugs or whatever it takes to experience hearing voices or visual stimulation from schizophrenia. i don't normally post in this part of reddit cause i don't want people to read my profile and think it's okay for them to use drugs cause i honestly use recreational drugs/don't really use meds and am schizophrenic and i some how make my way through society.. i think it has something to do with i'm pretty confident with my art and music and my schizophrenia gives me a lot of pleasantness reflecting that, but then again there are artists that have bad schizophrenia.. i dunno. usually my schizophrenia is not bad,, and i use drugs.

i would say if you don't have schizophrenia experiences right now. wait until you are a bit older to start using drugs if you aren't already in your mid twenties or older... maybe start by staying awake with out drugs and testing to see if you hear voices or see anything.. then maybe another time try some psychedelic drugs... if you don't get schizophrenia from psychedelic drugs or sleep deprivation, you probably don't have it/can't get it.

i think this poster is probably young.. honestly a lot of my non-schizophrenic friends hear voices and get crazy visuals from stuff like smoking dmt or salvia.. i'd do some research into that... if you aren't naturally schizophrenic, you may be able to achieve hearing voices through drugs, and honestly, it's not always even great, so you may be happy if you can get back to reality and not experience the schizophrenic stuff after using the drugs...

i would stay away from stuff like trying to get brain damage or using toxic drugs. like generally stuff like lsd and dmt or even salvia aren't really toxic from what i understand. you're not gonna die from poisoning yourself. be careful and ease yourself into the drugs starting with low doses if you do start to try drugs.. i think this poster might be younger and uninformed, so i would actually recommend not jumping into drugs right away."

this was the person's response: "So you are suggesting for me to turn into a drug addict,are you a dealer or sum cause if you are I’m not buying your product"

this person didn't have a profile history outside this thread so it turns out they are a total douche bag. this reply is so dumb and you can tell this person thinks they are super clever which is pretty sad. like realistically, i would think meditation/sleep deprivation would be the first step to looking for visions/auditory hallucinations if you didn't want drugs, so i guess i should've pointed that out first, but honestly, i find that meditation from what i hear about most people's experience, it doesn't get them very far even though they think it does, and also meditation for me personally causes insomnia which i think people might just have an easier time taking drugs. lol. this person was also getting responses that they could get schizophrenia through brain damage. that's why i recommended not taking toxins... their response is totally fucked to me. like i see that exact response from other people on the internet when people recommend drugs. like they are so dumb that i woudln't even want to recommend that you can just grow shrooms or extract dmt themselves, and that there are still salvia vendors... like this person is clearly just dumb and psychedelics might not be for them... i still optimistically post stuff why i think just cause some one hears voices with out drugs or hears voices with drugs, or even has schizophrenia, that sometimes it can help people with psychedelics.. honestly though i always weigh in that it's probably going to make things worse and that i may be a rare example of a schizophrenic that gets good experiences with psychedelics, and i always add in that i've had paranoid and bad experiences too... but yeah. i hate how people are like "you are schizo, you shouldn't take drugs," when in reality, i think i might just have more of a spiritual connection or a different spiritual connection than a lot of people. i think there legit might be spirits and they actually like me cause i make legit art. then again it all could be in my head and i'm full of myself and the voices i create reflect that. i totally don't know, but that kind of keeps me going in life...




here's this aesop rock lyric where i think he might be experiencing the same breathing pattern that i do. he has a song he wrote later on about how he doesn't want any more lsd. i think the lyric in this song "i prayed for days" is about experiences with tripping where he starts breathing a certain way and gets into intense meditation with out sleeping. on this lyric site it says the lyrics are "I prayed for days lacking discoloring (????)" and it's questioned what "lacking discoloring" could mean, and i'm pretty sure it's about how people with lower blood pressure are pale. when i start breathing that way and get insomnia. i'm pretty pale https://genius.com/Aesop-rock-plastic-soldiers-lyrics discoloring would refer to the skin becoming red because of stress:





at 2.48 is when he says "i prayed for days"... i'm not even sure if that's what the lyric is about, but that's where it takes me.

i've been getting into crying patterns for a few minutes at a time recently. usually i'll hear a song and tear up and cry for a couple minutes, and that's the end of it.. i've been going for walks though and noticing stuff and it makes me cry for all different reason. i walk around crying. it's pretty funny. i actually reason with myself and stop crying though cause it's gonna give me energy and then i'll be up conscious with my thoughts all night, and i don't even feel like dealing with that.

 

[foodcrisis]

from my experience though, i wonder if there are monks that get high off crying.. i've heard some monks barely consume food and stay awake for tremendous periods of time.. i don't think that's really healthy, but through breathing correctly, you can actually eat less and the body will function a bit better... i don't know if i believe everything i've heard about monks.. i've heard some monks can consciously grow and shrink tumours.. i thought it was in the book "The science of breath" or "be here now" but i've been looking through books and can't find where i thought i read that.. i dunno, i feel like that's something that was actually written whether it's true or not. maybe i imagined reading it though... i know monks eat less and meditate in ways where they go with out sleep though.

 

[foodcrisis]

doing nothing and not eating enough caused me to loose a lot of muscle in my legs and i definitely lost some weight, so i've been trying to eat a lot and exercise... wouldn't recommend just meditating all the time. eating well and cardiovascular activity is obviously good even though it's interesting to see what people's bodies can go through doing things like monk activity.

 

[Shady's Fox]

what

 

[Shady's Fox]

are you on about

 

[nekointheclouds]

TL;DR: I Haven't slept in days and clearly is isn't making me crazy.

 

[foodcrisis]

describing different levels of meditation...


a lot of people on this site know about technical science but aren't actually that smart...


maybe some one is bored and wants to know what i'm thinking.

 

[foodcrisis]

i like hip hop when they repeat stuff like "you a bitch" over and over and really put people down....


"aww... i really cleared my head with this meditation."

meditation is actually a state where you loose touch with sleeping... maybe anyways.. i'm saying there might be different types of meditation to experience...

 

[nekointheclouds]

Talking head's isnt rap music.

Now you are really talking crazy.

 

[foodcrisis]

i'm bill nye the science guy real fact agenda of the people secret cia warfare

i speak secret facts of the occult.

 

[foodcrisis]

i'm saying that aesop rock is talking about his air intake getting him to a higher level... genius the website documenting his lyrics and questions "lacking discoloration". i think he's talking about his face becoming pale from breathing on a level that lowers his blood pressure to a point where it gets him high... i speculate that's what the lyric is about.

that talking heads song i speculate is about tripping from developing specific breathing patterns.... read the book the science of breath.. i'm not even saying that book will teach you how to breath, but how you breath effects what level your brain functions at.

i'm saying, i don't really recommend intense meditation. i more recommend psychedelic drugs. if people can figure out how to meditate in the first place, for me, intense meditation, i won't sleep much... it gets annoying.

 

[foodcrisis]

Talking head's isnt rap music.

Now you are really talking crazy.

the comment about hip hop was unrelated to the talking heads song on a specific level... but david byrnes from the talking heads is kind of calling a lot of people bitches on a lot of levels from what i hear...

how you don't get that i'm just speaking random gibberish reminds me of the eve 6 lyrics "I wanna tear it off the wall · I hear words in clips and phrases · I think sick like ginger ale. My stomach turns and I exhale."... i interpret "i hear words in clips and phrases" as everything just comes together as clips and phrases of one poetic thing... maybe anyways. that's what i always got.. everything comes together as one. it's sick like people say people believing in synchronicity is a sign someone has a mental disorder... i dunno. just where that stuff takes me...


i actually have no proof either that david byrnes looks down on the majority of people... but something about his confused attitude shows that he has a higher level of appreciation. he comess across as confused in a joking way a lot, and generally claiming "some people never had experience with air." he's claiming that many people have never been to the level he has.... he's saying he is in control of the air driving him crazy, and not everyone has that...




i love interpreting lyrics even in ways the artists didn't intention.... that talking heads song is about how drugs aren't everything. you get high on air though. i'd be willing to bet money that's part of what it's about.



personally drugs make me chill as hell though

 

[foodcrisis]

to say someone has never had experience with air may be to say they are a bitch...


i'm not saying any one hear is a bitch.. i'm sure you are all some what experienced as jimmy hendrix says...

 

[foodcrisis]

lsd makes me use air on a higher level.

 

[foodcrisis]

TL;DR: I Haven't slept in days and clearly is isn't making me crazy.

maybe if you haven't slept in days, you should be focusing on actually resting instead of torturing your eyes with a computer screen...

idk. i hate when people write TL,DR.. it's like they tried reading it and didn't get it, or just genreally don't like the poster and could've ignored them... shit is sad.. that person i talked about on reddit is sad... even if it weren't for totally awful shit, people would still just be kind of sad and dumb.

 

[nekointheclouds]

Oh I do not lack for sleep my friend.

But this is The Lounge which is intended for Light hearted/funny/social posting. You shouldn't take anything here (The Lounge) too seriously.

 

[Roger&Me]

OP have you tried wearing a cilicium (δέῤῥις) woven from the coarse hair of a he-goat, or flagellating yourself with a cat-o'-nine-tails?

How many weeks a month do you fast on bread and water?

What is your favourite method of mortifying the flesh to atone for your iniquities?

If you're looking to take your spiritual programme to the next level, I highly recommend upgrading ur goat's hair sackcloth with sharpened wires and twigs, and affixing to the interior an abundance of metal chain with inwardly-pointing tines. For the longest time I was skeptical about installing a bunch of fancy upgrades on mine, like "will this really make me any more aware of my own sinful nature and need for repentence? Idk." But I took the plunge and I can honestly say I've never felt more penitential.

 

[foodcrisis]

i made this thread to talk about monks, but i didn't get any info or any thoughts on that... hmm.. that's okay.

also i posted this cause i've been depressed and crying a lot, but it's not a type of crying where i can get good breathes and go into a meditative states. i just kind of cry for a minute, start to laugh it off cause i can't get any good breathes, and don't really meditate.. which might be a good thing, cause when i start to stay up for days cause i don't really eat when i get into hardcore insomnia.. i get super high though when i do get into crazy meditative insomnia states. it feels pretty euphoric and cool, but i generally wonder how my body would handle staying up with out eating.

over the winter, i just laid down and slept 12 hours a night and even napped for like 1-3 hours a day with that. i felt really good listening to asmr and just generally spaced out. i had one couple week experience with insomnia, but i was generally feeling cause i was tired... i realized i lost 15 pounds at a docto'rs check up cause of sleeping all the time and the muscle in my legs were depleting, so i've been going for walks for the last month... going for walks makes me depressed. i see people with children and think about global warming and how there might be a population problem and it's caused me to get really depressed. walking past the church also makes me sad cause of the child molestation that went on with the church. i'm not sure if i'm praying and just don't know what to think. sometimes i feel like all i want to do is drugs all the time because i want to just feel good in my own existence, but i can't stay high all the time... i just drink a lot of coffee and smoke weed. i'd like to switch it up with coke sometimes, but don't trust what goes around. same thing with adderall.. some days i don't drink coffee and sleep all day, it's not that bad, but generally i've been sleeping way less and staying up way more trying to get good air flow through my nose. this causes me to stay awake even longer. i've generally only been sleeping like 6-10 hours mostly lie 7 or 8 instead of 12 hours including naps, and i have to say it's tremendously hard to get through the day with out smoking a ton of pot. some days i smoke like a quarter, most days just a little over an 1/8th, but even doing that can be hard.. i'm depressed cause i have to move to smoke free housing out of my parents house and will only be able to smoke maybe a gram or a little more a day, and only generally once or twice a day going out in the woods, or putting weed at the tip of a cigarette cause you're allowed to smoke those on the property where i live. the tabaccy after the weed at the tip of the cigarette always kills the smell, good way to smoke in public..

anways, i just wanted to talk about crying and insomnia. i'd post in spirituality cause of monk talk or the dark side cause i'm generally talking about kind of anomale qualities with my brain chemistry...

to proove i've literally been having problems... here's a video of me throat singing like neutral milk hotel or violent femmes.. if you don't really love shitty folk, those two bands (which you might not even like this music if you like those two bands) or listening to arab's throat sing, this is not the recording for you, but this generally is a clip of me shedding tears on camera because i love standard tuning guitar, haven't been able to play cause my back is messed up, and just found i have enough strength to play holding the guitar flat on my lap and using my hand with out curving my wrist which is probably what fucks up my spine... i personally love my singing on this recording.. along with the deep stereotypical male singing and arab throat vocals, i do miss piggy opera vocals too. i have a super fun time doing this.. big part of why i'm crying is cause i love tuning guitars in folk tuning too... i just want to prove to BL i'm a real person and not just some person writing bullshit to fuck with druggies:




18.25 into the video is when i cry if anybody isn't interesting in the music and just wants to see a person emotional... i realize i could be delusional about my faith, but it's more the emotion and feeling of what i'm perceiving even though i'm not perceiving objective reality possibly.... good times.. i had so much fun filming this video, but generally i'm bored all the time.. even though laying back and listening to ASMR is sometimes better than a good dose of opiates, and i get to smoke as much weed as i want at this point, i'm just super bored. ASMR feels great but it's really boring. i'm lucky to even get to experience, not every one can. i get cool dreams too even with smoking weed, but i'm just generally bored all the time and constantly thinking other people have it more shit than me and then there's some people in just terrible parts of the world. even a lot of people with good jobs in america that get everything they want are probably bored all the time.. being an artist is generally thrilling, but for me, i don't really do art all the time cause i'll also get bored, but when i do get in the mood, it's thrilling and i'm lucky to have that. not everyone gets pride in doing their art, which means a lot and i think feeling good about my art helps a lot with my schizophrenia. i guess there are good artists that have problems with schizophrenic voices too, but i think feeling good about what i do and feeling like i have a purpose really makes me feel like i'm doing something.

here's another throat singing with acoustic recording a couple days later that might even be better cause i'm not getting emotional and crying. there's also not really any fret buzzing cause i didn't drink as much coffee which makes my grip stronger... i dunno. i like this music a lot. super proud of it:




here's another electric tuning that's way different than standard tuning that actually hit the algorithm a bit and i have 2.6k views on it. i think it's cause it's pretty good and i put hash tag neutralmilkhotel which is a kind of similar band. i'm not even trying to promote these standard tuning videos that way:





if you check this stuff out and think i'm an asshole for thinking it's good check out the first song on my bandcamp http://robertleblanc.bandcamp.com and you'll hear that i can actually compose some legit music and i'm not just doing weird chord appreciation.. if you don't get the violin on my recording on the bandcamp, listen to the indie rock band godspeed you black emperor and get that people like that.. i don't get a lot of attention on the internet, but i have some friends and random people in other bands that tell me they love my stuff. i believe them. lol

 

[foodcrisis]

TL,DR this post is about getting in people's heads, and also a totally different subject how breathing can effect people's energy and highs, and also how me posting about breathing linked to my dick head artistic account could get in people's heads in a way they don't like, but instead of having just an account about breathing, and another as a separate identity to talk about my music experiences with drugs, i cross post and say how great i am in a way that might not be encouraging to people...

anyways,
not sure if i'm just trying to top a thread to promote my you tube or dis BL, probably not my intentions, i sincerely like to spread the word of breath. i keep talking about the book i got at the chain store borders books back in the early 2000's, "the science of breath".

so i made a thread in basic drug discussion sometime within the past couple weeks about what molly and opiates feel like and if anybody does it because i was stoned and cracked my back and got sensations of feeling both like i was on mdma and relaxed with feelings of opiates for a minute or so. one poster totally did not get my experience, and i commented that google says straightening the spine can release serotonin.

generally i also have to say breathing can get some pretty strong highs that feel like drugs, usually i can't get high for as long with out the drugs. generally i can sometimes be in a state where i've slept the right amount of time and am breathing correctly where i will feel like i took a decent dose of opiates. i've gotten script oxys and generally i've had fleeting feelings of being on 20mgs of opiates, just by being relaxed. 40mgs of oxy will get me fucked up and i can't achieve that by any breathing patterns. generally breathing will always make me feel healthy, or healthier depending how i'm feeling. sometimes it backfires and actually releases adrenaline making me feel off. i can't really control when i want to be high, but i've commented about how opiates can help a person realize when they are high and get back into opiate breathing patterns sober, and i've noticed recently that through taking opiates and practicing what is tought in the book "the science of breath" that i know how to push air out of my stomach at the correct rate to get high and release brain chemicals. when it starts to happen i know how to ride the breathing pattern if i have the opportunity to be laying down and straightening my spine and i actually get really high.. i've talked about it on BL, but i don't really post in threads like "Should i try heroin" that you can learn to breath like you are on opiates. i don't think most people are really going to have what it takes to pay attention to their breathing pattern that much. maybe i'm wrong and should have more faith in people. i really don't know.

sometimes while sober i get random waves of feeling like i took mdma. don't say i got fake mdma and was getting placebo cause mdma felt totally weird for hours, and what i get for mdma sober is just fleeting feelings. it's definitely possible that i get serotonin dumps. i'm pretty sure i'm manic depressive, diagnosed schizophrenia and have a lot of symptoms of autism.


so it's funny. i don't think a lot of drug users put a lot of thought into their breathing patterns. they get dramatic shifts in breathing patterns through drug use and don't realize that it's part of the experience. recommending someone change or start to think about their breathing pattern is pretty wild to me, cause it's really getting in a person's head. like one BL poster posted about how they like to have to urinate while masturbating and i totally hate that feeling. that was like months or even a year ago now, and every time i have to pea when starting to look at porn (which probably happens a couple times a week or more sometimes), i think about that poster. not trying to put that poster down. they haven't been posting. i'm not gonna say who they are. some one out there probably knows. i doubt they are reading this. i'm not trying to put this down. everything on this board is relating to people. it was just really random to me and got stuck in my head.... i was also gonna make a post about finger nail biting, but i didn't want to have people think about the stuff i post on my account that isn't related to finger nail biting when they bite their fingers. lol. i guess i'm more interested in thought and trying to describe how you can curse a person's thoughts just by mentioning something. sometimes that stuff happens consciously and i wonder how hard that stuff hits unconsciously. everyone thinks differently just like everyone has different brain chemistry that responds differently to drugs... the poster in my thread about opiates and mdma not understanding how being stoned and cracking my back could feel like harder drugs is kind of funny to me. i don't really get how some people take low dose opiates and want to clean their house. i've read that happens sometimes. i believe it's because they get energy from breathing better. the slight release of opiates makes the person want to breath which gives them energy they normally wouldn't've had. idk.

i have to say this everytime i talk about the book "The science of breath," which is a book written by medical professionals and expert yoga practicioners. the way that books recommends breathing is holding breathes for way too long for me. by reading this book and experiencing opiates is how i have a better understanding how to breath while sober. breathing exactly how that book says kind of makes me sick although i get high and light headed. i'm not sure i'm doing it right. when trying to breath the way the book says now that i have nerve damage, i would get pins and needles in my body. if i breath the wrong way i will get pins and needles and headaches because of spinal arthritis..



anyways, this is about a bunch of different subjects... i'm posting this thread like art and poetry. if you don't get it and want to dis me or write TL,DR that's kind of sad to me, but hey P diddy supposedly molests children and if it's not the case, it's being acted out in the media... i heard priests molest children too, so it's not gonna make my reality feel any different whether people get my art or not. i'm sick by nature at this point and only get feeling from breathing or drugs.... just generally trying to enlighten people that what goes on in one person's brain and body might not be what goes on in another.

also, i want to talk about breathing on stimulants... some people tense up on stimulants. through breathing i always get relaxed muscles.. how some people would clench their fists and have energy. i am forced unconsciously to have my body go some what limp.. my hands become relaxed and get tai chi flow from the breathing.. if i don't breath, i will get pins and needles. i can't really learn to breath correctly with out drugs for long periods unless i am ready to rest, but with a few cups of strong coffee through out the day and smoking large amounts of strong weed, i get extremely relaxed, but my heart rate stays high and i don't fall asleep like i would if i were so relaxed. it's pretty bizarre. if i didn't have nerve damage, i would not have started to breath slower and deeper from stimulants and weed and would have shorter more inconsistent breathes. i also get a lot more psychedelic effects from weed from breathing.


i think i could've gotten more views on this post if i made a legit thread titled about discussing breathing, but this is actually a bunch of random subjects that should be thought provoking. i talk about this stuff on BL all the time. i think posting in this thread that people already see me as schizo posting that it will just be seen as a nusance for the mods to read. i think that's my lack of faith in BL.... whatever... sorry if this is a bothersome read or you don't like me. one poster called me an attention whore... honestly, i'm different. i make objectively good music. i tune guitars in tunings that are 5th steps and seventh steps apart a lot in ways that haven't been documented on the internet yet and those are objectively musical steps...



my biggest pride in life and why i continue to go on is because that in the future, every possible way to play music will be more well known and i will be on the you tube data base and get more views than i do now because people will have nothing better to do other than study guitar.


like i said, you probably don''t want some conceeded piece of shit in your head telling you how to work on your breathing pattern, but BL is generally a place for having other people's thoughts put in your head and seeing what other people are thinking... i guess some one could read this post and by me commenting about how things get in my head that it will start to happen to other people when it normally wouldn't've..... also i wonder how strong everyone's unconscious is...

 

[foodcrisis]

i posted about the talking heads... lol... david byrnes the singer always comes across as super conceded on this album "fear of music" with the songs "air" "animals" and "mind"





if i didn't like pot so much, i'd say drugs really aren't that great... i just can't get on a sleeping schedule and life gets boring... idk... definite possibilities with meditation. it's hard. i think drugs definitely can teach people how to meditate i'll say again. i just don't want to post about it all the time.. the experience might not help some people. possible to learn breathing patterns though.


EDIT A YEAR LATER: when i say drugs aren't that great, i feel like i'm just wasting time smoking pot. the sensation really isn't that special. i talk about ASMR being better than any drug. i can't really do that all day like i can with pot, and pot doesn't really make ASMR any less intense. i don't think it's bad. pot really just bides time. it's kind of lame. it makes me hallucinate with HPPD. i really like what i see. it brings me joy, but i also hold the perspective that seeing things as is is very special. i don't really feel like i'm missing out with what i see with the hallucinations with pot though. the HPPD is usually just quick images of cartoons and affirmations of emblems of people's faces i know that mean a lot to me. i really feel like they are contact from a higher power. it feels special to me. if i want to view art in nature or anything man made in reality, i always can see things as they are. sometimes the cartoons and HPPD stuff will go along with what i'm thinking when looking at art. it's thought provoking. i really don't know. it's super enjoyable..... pot never really makes me feel bad. it stops the aching in my spine from spinal arthritis. sometimes it can be a bit tense if breathing improperly, but there is far less ache. the ache is almost unbearable when sober... when i say i can't get into a sleep schedule, i meant that pot helps me sleep well.