just wrote a shit load of stuff that got deleted cause it's TMI, but to describe my insanity.. i think this person i know overdosed because i told them it'd be black magic to get remembered as the artist he was by committing suicide and this would get documented through the internet in a CIA account. this person was also confused with people telling us the CIA was documenting music through out the 1900's that wasn't actually being remembered by the general public on the internet. like supposedly there is accounts of the nazi's playing emo music at jews in specific concentration camps and other different music and they were recording specific concentration camps as an MK ultra like experiment, the music would stress some people out and then calm some people into specific insane states. supposedly emo is a CIA genre and they tested people in the 60's as well as in the nazi times. i'm guessing to get the emo music to work, they would've had to play other specific ambient sounds at them at different times.. this was an internet rumour from that website. that before we even had the technology in the 1900's for thousands of years they were experimenting with electric guitar and the music that was made through out the 1900's on secret military bases. in areas with a lot of oil or whatever makes batteries, they put a lot more effort into figuring out all the ways to play guitar for thousands of years as a secret society, and before the 1900's began, pretty much all genres of music were already recorded and documented by CIA/NWO head quarters. through out the 1900's they started trends, and specific musicians were actually the result of MK Ultra to start trends. how people think punk was created in the 1900's, they had that stuff on farms and in temples and moshing was like a spiritual thing. they didn't have a lot of electricity in some places, they would mosh like once every season to see if crows would cheer them on. they documented all different types of music for thousands of years... the areas with easy access to oil and batteries mostly inventing things first. what we are told about when things are invented in history books isn't really true. it's all just MK ultra bull shit to confuse people...
anyways, i was talking to this kid whose friend was brother's with one of the dudes that ran make out club and he was recording me while i was tripping through his computer and because this kid had specific lyrics about commiting suicide as a form of hatred in one of his songs i was rambling about how if he killed himself i'd be able to write a poem on the message board and call a hawk because the lyrics were written in a cryptic way that mind linked with me with him and the power of christ. i'm not even gonna give the exact details about what the lyric was, but i wrote that he'd be able to relate to me through being raised with christ and not expecting his brother to be gay being raised to think they'd have families together through out child hood effected his unconsious mind. i was like "find that and then kill yourself and i'll summon your real opinion in this specific location as a hawk" this was something i thought about while tripping and i'm pretty sure i was thinking that even before his death, whether or not people actually talked to him about me thinking he should kill himself. idk his incoherent folk rambles about suicide really fucked with my head, and i thought he wanted to kill himself. so because we both liked jimmy eat world and they definitely can be found with the lyrics "euthenasia can be the greatest gift" and also the lyrics to the song "anderson mesa" by jimmy eat world "
"Don't leave without intentions
Don't leave without intentions
Mind's made up, my own decision
Don't leave without intentions of ever coming back"
leaving on the website was slang for commiting suicide. i thought coming back would meant that he would come to me as a bird. i don't know if native americans thought they were contacted by people through nature after death. maybe that cold play song "birds come singing from the underground to tell you where it all began" really fucked with my head. i honestly believe birds contact my unconscious mind. maybe it's a sign of schizophrenia.
so any ways i think my friend recorded me and talked to this kid on AIM and this kid killed himself cause i wrote a fictional story, and then i actually wrote the poem and called the bird which was me mind linking with him after his death which i was incoherently ranting to people about before.. no shit, this is what i actually remember. i have a recording on my computer with me going out the day i wrote the thread after his death "What will the hawk mean" was the poem and i have a recording of a hawk flying through the air and then shreiking. i always thought he came back as a hawk saying i was not wrong for being homophobic and he actually was disappointed with his brother. maybe i just have a random recording of a hawk though and it was at a different time than i wrote the poem and i'm not remembering correctly. maybe his suicide was just an accident cause he over dosed, but i was talking about this kid dying and coming back to me in the spirits of birds through "the other side for years". one of the lyrics was "that's just blood on my floor." i thought he was going to commit suicide by slitting his because of that lyric years before he overdosed. it took on different meanings to me, so i never really know what his death meant, but the bizarre lyrics that can still be found on the internet haunt my reality. i dunno. i remember being on internet with the kid. this kid just was a lady's man and had a gay brother, wrote suicidal lyrics, now i'm super confused about his death cause we both liked "mr. jones" by counting crows and the lyric "when i turn on the t.v. i want to see me staring back at me". i found with this kid's death that that must've been his spirit.. anyways, you can search "jesse hanawalt news center 5"and there are a few other articles about his death with his brother saying he commit suicide and his mother saying he OD'd. you can read into all sorts of weird lyrics by him on his bandcamp. "friendscrossing.bandcamp.com" on the release "friend's crossing demo's" i always thought he was going to kill himself cause the lyrics to "trip" saying "that's just blood on my floor." totally weird the account is still there and that's what i remember. i also i know his brother is gay because the "john warren voss" you tube account which you can check appears to be a stereotypical gay dude and i remember people talking about him on the boards before i even saw that account. maybe i'm just a schizo stalker and think i have something to do with his death cause that would be a cool story. maybe i'm totally remembering time incorrectly. i don't think jesse even knew he was consciously aware he was disapointed in his brother being gay but he just kind of randomly killed himself. i found that in his death though... i'm totally cool with people thinking this is some sick schizo shit... i like to read accounts of schizophrenic people. this could even just be fiction... this is the video from his brother's you tube with his friend doing an all original tuning which reminds me of the black women album by sonny sharrock the jazz musician. this is an all original tuning for someone's death and it only got 360 views on youtube, how is the CIA not documenting that? they are gonna spend money with project sun streak trying to find about psychics and the arc of the covenant and they are not be documenting this all original shit in some sort of time capsule with how people responded to society. there's a lot of great music on the internet. pretty much everything on the internet i believe is going to be documented on a future internet, like i'm pretty sure the CIA is gonna put out a you tube series of artists that commit suicide and didn't get any recognition. i think they are waiting till 2060 to release it. they are keeping files on everyone. they are gonna do it to confuse people. like i'm pretty sure this kid's music will at least be saved and people will be able to read about how fucked up MK ultra was. he killed himself cause people saying they worked for the CIA would document his music. i think he killed himself cause he couldn't top some of the music he recorded before too. i'm really not sure. i think he might've killed himself to tell others they were worthless. i think someday they should have a you tube with what his friend's thought. if you watch this video of his friend, supposedly they used to like dmt so he's on dmt when he recorded this for his funeral. that's what they said on the site anyways. i dunno, you can tell when he's spacing out in the below video. it's pretty sad. he looks like his friend cheated him by leaving. they used to play music together. this was his performance for him:
i wouldn't recommend committing suicide to prove anything to anyone with spirituality though which i'm pretty sure this kid did because of weird internet posts that people thought were being documented by the CIA... anyways, if you were to write on the internet why you were going to come back as a bird, or prove something with birds, i already proved this with the CIA. the CIA cared about this kid to kill himself and people harrassed him to kill himself... no shit, this is what i'm remembering. so pretty much i'm saying the CIA doesn't care about you like this kid and me so your spirit will never be found on the other side or you won't be able to prove to anyone why you did something weird to call birds. that people meditated on this kid's death and i called his soul through the other side. this was set up by an occult prayer organization with the CIA saying weird stuff to people on the internet... again could be schizophrenia, but imagine it as some type of movie. that's why i said maybe this should be in the poetry and writing section of this site. this is just like fucked up schizo fiction that i gathered from reading people's internet accounts i didn't know. maybe i'm creating crazy fiction in my head with other people that had nothing to do with me... i would think the CIA would know...you can see this kid's brother is really gay on his you tube account or has that stereotypical gay vibe. he has blogs about how his brother commit suicide that can be found on his you tube. it doesn't say anything about why he killed himself, but this kid had issues for years, and it really got in my head. he never even said anything about homophobia i just knew his brother was gay.. i was talking to him on the net before he overdosed. i dunno. i think i fucked with him... i'm not even saying homosexuality is wrong, i'm just saying i mind linked with this kid and related to him on the other side over the issue and it drove him insane and maybe he accidently overdosed or some shit. like some animals just don't have gay spirits through out their reincarnation and don't vibe with that.. i don't know. that's the story i'm writing in my head. there's nothing wrong with being gay though. there is homosexuality in nature and that reflects how humans can feel through different spiritual wave lengths. legit why is the song with the lyrics "birds come singing from the underground to show you where it all began" always on the radio by cold play. what about synchronicity 2 by the police. ya'll of BL don't even know that this could be a real story. lol.
i've talked about on the internet about 2060 and issac newton predicting 2060 and 2012 being predicted by mayans is actually just the result of all music being recognized in time as being complete. there's not going to be good original music after a while and music is just going to be a history lesson of some where how after 2012 music generally wasn't much more original and by 2060 things got so redundant and stale that this was sent through time on "the other side" as needing to be recognized as a new time period. both the mayans and issac newton said there would be a new time period or something along those lines.. something is going to need to be done about art and what we are doing. the history of the 1900's and early 2000's needs to be remembered. eventually music won't be so original. i think there is some room in jazz mixed with pop but generally jazz is not as good as pop music and indie metal mixed with free jazz just isn't that listenable, like jazz guitar in an indie metal fashion really hasn't been popularized, but i'm pretty sure there are a lot of acts that got cancelled. maybe the CIA is documenting that stuff. i'm pretty sure they used to find people on the grateful dead tour and they recorded a lot of weird improv jam sessions with acid heads, but they didn't let that many people know about it. they just recorded that stuff with the CIA and didn't popularize it. if you are old enough to live till 2060, i think they might release that stuff around this time, they are just not releasing it cause it's all pretty logical stuff and they want to see if any younger generations care enough to create it. a lot of it is some where between john coltrane on the albums after he quit heroin and tried lsd mixed with this vibe. i'm pretty sure i was baby sat by vietnam vets that used to record me listening to their music. their was a study and they picked babies that responded to music in an emotional way to be apart of some type of study similar to MK ultra where they played music at them tuning a lot of instruments to see if they would tune the instruments when they took drugs as teens, or maybe drugs aren't even necessary, but it was a study to see if music played at babies would come to them as adults:
check out this song:
^^^^^this is a song by a band in the genre of music i think is getting mostly cancelled by the CIA. there is probably a lot more talented stuff than this in that style. this was a band from the early 90's. i don't know anything about them posting on the internet, but chris corosano was on the sites i used to talk about and he got to play with bill occurt from harry pussy. chris corosona is my age, the dude bill occurt from harry pussy is older. the people on these websites had some serious band connections. the dude from k records calvin johnson got interested in my music real quick, but supposedly i'm getting cancelled, calvin didn't tell me this, but supposedly he was interested in this band when i was younger and wanted to record us but we were too young to put it out stuff and do touring. kurt cobain supposedly had a k records tattoo and was friends with those people. this was my band from when i was fourteen:
pretty sure this is legitimately good enough to remember i'm getting gang stalked, mostly only "the coercion song", total banger, will get remembered in history. anyways even if the person on the board was lying about calvin johnson in a thread on make out club, years later i wound up in olympia and ended playing with some kids in the building he owned. they kind of gang stalked me cause i was throat singing well with the acid some local kids sold me, but when i played with the drummer in calvin's building i totally sucked. the drummers tone was just off to me and i got super confused. i saw calvin outside when i was done playing and i was like "i'm robert leblanc" and he was like "i know". i don't know if that was just some hipster thing where he wanted to sound like he didn't care cause my music sucked or if he actually knew who i was... supposedly i'm getting cancelled cause of border line anti-trans and homophobic rants on the internet and also because i don't consistently play good enough to play clubs. the rants about homophobia and anti-trans came after my band in the 8th grade. even some trans people think it's funny. someone told me that anti-trans people make the best music and although it's no where on the internet, all the best musicians are dudes confused about not liking certain male issues. this isn't any where on the internet and there is definitely no documentation that this is what this is, but supposedly this video is about conditioning women to be a certain way and anti-trans. again that might just be someone schizo posting rumours by another person i know or i'm just remembering stuff wrong, but i can see how this video would be translated as anti-trans. the video of the young girls as cheerleaders at a parade dressed up and the juxtaposition of dead trees. that the lyric "i get on with it or admit there's really nothing there." combined with the video is saying there is something to specific culture. the parade in this video is better than the dead trees, that life is about fun and breeding. the trucks are also good in this video. i get how you would say the trees could be good too, but i think it comes across as the parade is vibrant art and the trees in the winter aren't as appealing. that we need life to see the dead trees.... if you watch polvo's live performance history on you tube there is a lot that would make you think they are ignorant. there is a good amount of the guitarist Dave Brylawski talking a lot about boxing and betting on sports while ash bowie is tuning his. again this might just all be stuff some one made up that wanted me to feel good about myself told me.
how i was talking about there being room in the genre of free jazz with rock guitar that isn't documented on the internet i think there are some drummers interested in playing with me. it might even happen some day where i play this song with some kick ass free jazz drummers. can you imagine the drums like coltrane with guitar like this? why hasn't it been invented. totally original tuning. it's a song i think the vet artists working for MK ultra taught me when i was a small child::
here's another story about someone i know, this is another kid with a great internet account who i know even better than just talking to jesse hanawalt that was from some towns over. i used to get high in this kid's basement when we were like 16. his mom used to buy us a ton of food and just let us get high. i think she knew through a gang that i was molested as a kid and it was therapy for us. there was no way she wasn't stocking her fridge for us to raid while high. we were blatantly baked in a crazy ass way... this kid and i also went on the same bus cause we had to go to transitional first grade when we were small children, it was actually a cab driven by this insane christian dude with a big red big. we were from far away from the school so there wasn't buses for us. i always thought the cab driver dude's prayers were like a point in time that mind linked us and enabled us to tap into christ and create great art... this is a picture i took of the guy when i was into photography. i've talked about this on BL:
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^^^^^my parents were actually compelled by christ letting me live an alcoholic/drug addict artistic life style for years so that i could have a messy art studio and being guided by being drunk, i spilled beer on this picture in a way that the photo paper would come out like that.. being messy is a specific way like i used i ching coins to make art or a similar process. i was using coin's guidance to just mess around and act crazy while doing that art. heads meant do art, tales meant go. i also put specific meaning on numbers on the coin's years. certain years meant certain things. this guided me to be able to make art at specific times that meant a lot. i don't use coins anymore. i just use free will or when i'm getting auditory hallucinations to make art.
anyways, this is the account of the kid who i was getting high in his basement and he was recording the songs on his off days off smoking while burnt out... i'm pretty sure some of the lyrics are about his distaste toward me but also liking me. on the song "the king's royal anthem" it's the same organ that i let him borrow that's on my song on the front page of robertleblanc.bandcamp. if you are crazy music buff you might be able to tell it's the same organ and i actually know this person. but it might have an effect from cool edit pro on it where you can't tell... the song "horse shoe glue" is more lyrics that i interpreted as being about my life through him through reaching the other side of time. the chorus is actually like "ghosts i condem to amount and bought it" but i was talking to him about how i hear "ghosts i condemn to amount and blot it". it's about my friend who has schizophrenia and thinks his dad raped him. he was also good friend's with us. we were like the three amigos in high school. i actually might've fucked up our friend's head by tripping on shrooms and having a bad trip. one of our friend's got violent so we left him and went inside, we were in my basement and i was like "oh shit, we shouldn't have left kyle outside." i was having a real bad trip and i was like "dude, you have to talk to him. i can't deal with this, when i was a kid" and i was about to tell him about how my neighbor molested me, but before i could say anything he passed out from all the stress knowing that i was about to drop some fucked up bomb about my life. he rolled around for hours and my other friend we were tripping with who got violent ended up getting arrested for being confused how to buy chips at 711 so the police were in my yard while was wrestling my friend. i was whispering "dude it's me bob. you're tripping" in his ear while i wrestled with him not to scream so the police in my yard could hear. we never got cought. my friend got arrested and they sent him to his parents. anyways he wrote "horse shoe glue" around that time and i hear "ghosts i condemn to amount and blot it" ghosts that possess people made me have a fucked up childhood, and i was possessed not to get arrested the "amount and blot it" lyric is about the "mount position in wreslting. i was holding him down mounting him and "to blot" would be give some one a dose of acid. acid is known on the other side as an insanity thing. the slang in the song is about driving my friend insane. supposedly both my friend that wrote that song "horse shoe glue" and my friend i might've fucked with while tripping said "lesley" at the same time and it was some weird cosmic thing for them. i started to believe it when my friend was saying that schizophrenic hallucinations were teaching him to play successful jams we were apart of.
folky basement boy unleashed into a world of mellow harmonies and simple melodies #folkindieacousticalternat
www.soundclick.com
TL,DR the song on this account "horse shoe glue" and a couple others ^^^ is better than anything tom york of radiohead did, and i used to get high with this kid. you should listen to his music. he is afraid to take lsd but made his best music burnt out from pot. pot became too much for him and he quit and stopped hanging out with me. i'm not sure if he tried again, but while i knew him pot was enough for him, but it brought him to very higher places and i conspire that the songs on that bandcamp are the result of psychedelic burn out... also the description on this band camp is "folky basement boy". this is some where between the music of grandaddy and radio and there are a lot of folk pop like it, like the microphones band and stuff. i'm not really into the genre anymore cause this dude is better than everything but this kid writes better music than a lot of popular known artists and is getting cancelled cause his live performances suck.. amazing recording artist though...
i'm pretty sure i told people on the message board that the suicidal kid that OD'd jesse hanawalt would kill himself cause the title Cerebral paulsy, because his name was paul was innapropriate, that music was triumphant and that's why polvo was always talking about sports between songs on their set, music is about being strong, not disease and unwanted things. that i heard triumphant and pride in the music... my ex girlfriend who was a creepy hipster said his project should be cerebral paulsy. i think he called it that cause he had a crush on her. i thought it was wrong and for whatever reason, i thought the kid jesse hanawalt killed himself as a pro straight, anti-things that are stupid statement. i always found with nature paul was wrong for calling his project cerebral paulsy. i hate the noise music genre and metal that is all about sick stuff and disease. i'm not down with that at all. i want to be remembered as that. listen to the song "Flour eggs and oil" after you listen to "horse shoe glue.. the shit is fucking pop genius... this dude is fucking MK ultra documented. i'm pretty much getting remembered as a dead beat musician because of getting high with him. lol i think my music is good enough to be remembered on it's own, but some of it is kind of noisy. this dude is fucking pop genius. this kid recorded this in his room by himself:
folky basement boy unleashed into a world of mellow harmonies and simple melodies #folkindieacousticalternat
www.soundclick.com
crazy i could be lying... the kid paul was friend's with this other kid mike and he used to randomly attack him and throw fits. a few times paul, the kid who is schizo and thinks his dad raped him and i played some wild noise music, but we couldn't continue playing it... his attacking our friend mike at random was a sign to me that he loved hardcore music and "mike" was like how hardcore is about "the microphone... idk. some day i might actually meet up with some of my bros and go nuts free jazz. i don't know if everyone has as great stuff to look foward to.
i'm pretty sure i'm being contacted by the future.. my friend paul's music is gonna get more listens than radio head when 2060 is passed and they really tell everyone's story. people all through out history are gonna know who i am because i got high with this kid. they are gonna find out that the dude with the beard that drove our cabs as kids was actually praying for us and our art was achieved through others prayer. no lie. that's the way i see things... sorry if you read this as someone shamelessly self promoting or don't believe that i actually knew some of these people... i don't know polvo or harry pussy bands at all who i posted videos of. they didn't have time to be on the net with me, but some stuff with random people just posting internet accounts that never got known is legit better than what's being pushed by main stream, like even underground culture misses a ton of stuff and hopefully the CIA will remember that stuff.. totally wrong if they aren't doing that... i'm hoping if they aren't documenting what goes on the internet and sorting through it for the future, that some one at NSA or the CIA will read this and realize how important this actually is and start doing something... like read the book shakey about neil young. you could also google. he supposedly used coke in the 70's and his performances of "like a hurricane" are totally different from the 70's to the 80's, i think "like a hurricane" is a lot more upbeat in the 80's when he quit coke. kind of funny the coke, if he's on it at the concerts i think (he is documented as using cokes in the years where i suspect he was using coke on you tube 1976) and he is super chill in the 70's and then running around everywhere when he got off coke.. i want the CIA or someone at NSA to really find out if neil thinks coke changed up his styles and was worth musicians to take or if he thought it was juts a shitty waste of time and he didn't really get anything out of it... i once was thinking about stuff like this about how we can better people in the future and then i heard "making plans for nigel" on the radio, which i look up isn't about making plans for the future at all, but they should tell people "making plans for nigel" by XTC is about making plans for after 2060. that would be funny. that's what i was thinking about when i first heard that song.. all this bad stuff and fucked up economy is just to find out how sick people are. we are only making plans for nigel. some day we'll really know people and won't need to do bad stuff, we just had to see that people can really be bad as a science experiment. that's what the XTC song making plans for nigel sounds like to me and brings me:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yp-WJXOb2V4&list=RDyp-WJXOb2V4&start_radio=1
sorry if anyone had to read this whole thing and hates it... i have to say i had to read the book the perks of being wall flower twice or more to find out how he got molested by his aunt or mother or whatever it is in that book. like legit, i think if anyone would read that book, they could read my work, but i get although what i'm writing comes across as simple to me, not everyone might be able to understand all that i'm saying... maybe just write me off as another schizophrenic person ruining the internet, but at least you can hear some music to judge too. like legit i think my music is pretty good. i could get how people would even conspire this is just shameless self promotion, but legit it's just like a trip report... maybe this will make some one at BL not want to give drugs to schizoprenics if they meet them..
