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Supporting relapsing addict

C

C18H13ClFN3

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 17, 2022
Messages
18
My significant other just had an injection relapse after a long sober period .. one part of me wants to say “you are doing fine . A slip in a 24 months period is nothing , let’s move on !! Relapse is part of recovery , let’s stay positive .”
And part of me is sad , angry , very hurt and scared .
What’s the right thing here for a 100% drug free individual? I guess I don’t even understand what it’s like . 😰 I’m going through some personally rough things myself and feel “out of league “ .
 
Be honest on how you feel but it's good to realize relapses happen. I just came clean to my guy about abusing my script. I could tell he was disappointed but that disappointment has made me want to stay clean. We don't want to hurt people that love us. Addiction is tricky, ask them why they relapsed. This time of year is bad for alot of us
 
Jennn said:
Be honest on how you feel but it's good to realize relapses happen. I just came clean to my guy about abusing my script. I could tell he was disappointed but that disappointment has made me want to stay clean. We don't want to hurt people that love us. Addiction is tricky, ask them why they relapsed. This time of year is bad for alot of us
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Yea it’s so true .. addiction really is tricky. I’ve broken promises I’ve even made to myself many a time
 
Sometimes there is no real psychological reason a person relapses or even uses. The recovery lingo from the 1990's would have us believe it is always some deep dark issue we burry within ourselves that surfaces in using. And that for sure is a part of the reason many times.

As I have aged completely changed my opinion on what causes people to use. To me it is logic. It feels good. Period. Reminds me of the monkeys that when given a choice they can pull a lever for food, or a lever for cocaine. And cocaine wins. But does the monkey have some deep dark secret? (if he did I would love to know what it is....haha)

Keep in mind I am not saying the psychological part is not a valid reason why a person would use. It is. Just not all the time. But the logic of it feeling good seems to be all the time. To have control over how I feel is a big draw too.

I get it though, my wife was a bad drinker. She stopped years ago, every so often I can detect alcohol. Very rarely but it happens. I just leave it alone. Married for 20 years. If it becomes more than once then it becomes a bigger issue. But I myself am no saint. So I have my issues. Letting things slide is a must sometimes. Other times it should be a conversation. One slip up (for me) I would ignore. I also don't like fighting so it has to be a bigger issue to fight over. One slip up? We are human. A few slip ups then a talk is needed.
 
C18H13ClFN3 said:
.. one part of me wants to say “you are doing fine . A slip in a 24 months period is nothing , let’s move on !! Relapse is part of recovery , let’s stay positive"
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My opinion is this is a more effective approach as there is truth to it.
But as stated be honest to her and yourself.
Can't count how many times I slip in recovering (present tense). Not in a while, but addiction does not define me by far.
I hope for the best in this.
My SO of almost 30 yrs is a non user and she has a partner (me) that is a "junkie" at heart. A lot has changed over the years... but she is the better half of me. ;)
Still cannot claim 100% sobriery but still working on it. Feeling its a lifelong struggle....
Welcome to bluelight and thanks for posting an insightful post - for me, anyway.
<3
J
 
Madness said:
I think what you had thought about saying is nice. I also think, you should be honest about the feelings part.

I'm sure he'd understand. He may feel similar.
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He did … I’m glad I said what I had to say .thank you. I think it will be okay.
Yes.. answering question as to why is important to me , but I don’t want to be pushy just now. I feel like he is suffering enough without my questions ! :(
 
Lil'LinaptkSix said:
My opinion is this is a more effective approach as there is truth to it.
But as stated be honest to her and yourself.
Can't count how many times I slip in recovering (present tense). Not in a while, but addiction does not define me by far.
I hope for the best in this.
My SO of almost 30 yrs is a non user and she has a partner (me) that is a "junkie" at heart. A lot has changed over the years... but she is the better half of me. ;)
Still cannot claim 100% sobriery but still working on it. Feeling its a lifelong struggle....
Welcome to bluelight and thanks for posting an insightful post - for me, anyway.
<3
J
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Thank you so much for sharing . I expect this to be a life-long struggle , and realized it the minute we met . No unrealistic expectations here , but feelings still get the best of me at times . It’s hard . Sometimes , I feel my heart will bleed out just watching the daily struggle… For you and others , keep it up! It’s worth it , we are proud of your fight . ❤️❤️
 
I think this important to remember too. As much as you may feel you trust them. If your partner is an IV user, please be diligent in keeping yourself safe. Often times addicts will trickle truth. A one time relapse could’ve been a few months for all you know. Not every addict is a liar, but many are, it’s sad but true.

And desperation can make a normally safe IV user occasionally do some not so safe things. I used cleans most of the time but once in a great while I didn’t. If it’s between a shot of heroin to feel better or not, most will choose to share over not.

At the very least get regular STI checkups, please.

-GC
 
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