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Mental Health Coming off Invega (Paliperidone, Xeplion) injections v. 7.0

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Rulomaner said:
Thats it, they just said cancer. I would prefer cancer in my brain or anywhere
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At this point I'd even rather have testicular cancer, I ended up scheduling an appointment for an ultrasound last year thinking I had it, but it turned out to just be varicrose veins. Unless I had both balls chopped off, then I'd still be pretty much fine with one, since it overworks to compensate for the missing one. At this point though I may as well as have lost both, since Invega chemically castrated me and I still haven't recovered fully since.
 
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Rulomaner said:
Bro, for real they just put me because I was in the psycward and just wanted to get off. I didn even had time to think about what fucking poison they were capable of creating in this shitty planet of evil people, thats the truth. I have never been schizo/BP/psychotic to the point of being injected with the same shit they inject to the ones that dont stop screaming and punching and saying abnormal things. I really think i was put because these psycs were bastards. Doctors in general arent that intelligent, they are just mediocrity, thats why we are all here tbh. I they had been intelligent enough, and not driven by books written from the real evil and intelligent people wich in fact are making money from this, we wouldnt be here, FOR SURE!
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I wasn’t referring to you. Just saying the people who don’t ever recover may have some kind of issue in their head.
 
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Invegatorture said:
I used to use music to comfort me in difficult times. It’s fucked up I can’t do this anymore. It just sounds flat now.
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I'm suprised you haven't recovered sufficiently by now to at least somewhat enjoy music again. At first I completely stopped doing it for months, until I eventually regained the ability to enjoy it once again the way I could before. I can enjoy and listen to music for hours the way I could in the past again, which is what I've been doing the entire time I've been on this thread today. Hopefully though you reach the point where you can enjoy music again as well. Well actually, I'd say there's still a little bit of room for improvement but it's basically back to normal again.
 
I appreciate all of those things thats why I am not dead. That doesnt mean I have my own thoughts on this situation and I can share them. There is nothing I like more about life than the ability to be real. If your reality is based on being positive go for it. Mine is based on real statements, proven ones. Sorry for my english, i am spanish hehe
 
Rulomaner said:
I appreciate all of those things thats why I am not dead. That doesnt mean I have my own thoughts on this situation and I can share them. There is nothing I like more about life than the ability to be real. If your reality is based on being positive go for it. Mine is based on real statements, proven ones. Sorry for my english, i am spanish hehe
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I'm mexican myself but still prefer english since I'm much more fluent with it in comparison to spanish. I can speak and understand spanish verbally just fine but have difficulty typing and reading it. It's funny because the majority of people in the town I live in are hispanic, yet they usually speak english with me first even if I've never seen them before.
 
I will say some medication helps. I know medication put us in this situation, so it is hard to trust certain medications now. I went on a mood stabilizer called lamictal when I was at 7 months off. I felt way better immediately after. I went off the stabilizers from months 8-10 and they were hell. I went back on the stabilizer and I feel a lot better. Don’t turn your back to all medications. Some help ease the pain.
 
Kiaf85 said:
I get overwhelmed sometimes. I wish that I enjoyed more of life before going through this, but I don’t hate God for this! I was a really religious person too, not so much anymore.
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It’s apart of gods plan for you. You were chosen for some reason. When it all gone you are going to be something huge. Ik when im better im going to grind 100x harder than I ever did. Have you had improvements in recovery?
 
So Abilify is basically the same thing and it’s what I got injected with. Im dealing with the same lack of emotions… the same anhedonia, and to top it off heart palpitations. Anyways. I have a hard time accepting God wanted this for me.. with that in mind I’d like to tell you guys a story if you don’t mind.


Something like 10 years ago I had a vivid dream I was in the back of a cop car in handcuffs… there were two police outside (1 male and 1 female) it was dark out and there was a sign in the lawn near my car.

The dream was too much like I was watching a movie to feel like a regular dream and so when I woke up I panicked and started praying. “God I don’t want to be arrested.” A voice inside me said “It’s going to happen, and it’s going to be for your own good.”

This was after some other things had happened to me, which had me convinced God was real 100%.

Anyways with that it mind I spent the next year trying not to get arrested because I was shook. I was working as the national quality manager for a big company and flying around the country doing audits. My direct boss was the COO (chief operating officer) of the company and the two of us got into a lot of mischief together. It wasn’t uncommon for just us two to run up a $600-800 bar tab on the company card, and when we were in Cali (where he lived) we would have parties after the local clubs closed with lots of blow and booze.

I had gotten my stomach pumped from drinking in Texas and by all accounts I was an alcoholic.


My grandma died and I went home for a week for the funeral. I ended up at a bar drinking pretty heavily. When I got to the bar my heat was working fine but by the time I left it suddenly didn’t work anymore. It was January in the Midwest and my windshield was completely frozen. I didn’t have an ice scraper so I did my best to carve a little hole in the frost so I could see.

It kept fogging over causing me to lean forward to wipe it and I eventually got pulled over by a cop right outside my apartment complex. It was around midnight. Long story short I refused to breathalyzer and I ended up in the backseat of the very same cop car, with the very same cops and the very same sign in the lawn as the dream. (It was the sign outside of my apartment).

I got 18 month’s probation with random alcohol testing. It ended up causing me to be fired from that job.

I stopped drinking and never touched blow again.

“It’s going to happen and it’s going to be for your own good.”

Sure was.

So based on that I know God knows every detail of our lives before they happen. I also know he plans events for specific reasons.

The only thing I can come up with is I was too arrogant and he wanted to humble me.

Mission accomplished. :/
 
This sure has become a negative thread for something that the majority heal from eventually. Hoping your guys mindsets change soon and you get the help you need. Whether anti depressant or whatever it is to get you out of the clear depression you’re in.
 
Baddream said:
@Kiaf85 today was rough, I hope you stay
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I
Eatforgains said:
So Abilify is basically the same thing and it’s what I got injected with. Im dealing with the same lack of emotions… the same anhedonia, and to top it off heart palpitations. Anyways. I have a hard time accepting God wanted this for me.. with that in mind I’d like to tell you guys a story if you don’t mind.


Something like 10 years ago I had a vivid dream I was in the back of a cop car in handcuffs… there were two police outside (1 male and 1 female) it was dark out and there was a sign in the lawn near my car.

The dream was too much like I was watching a movie to feel like a regular dream and so when I woke up I panicked and started praying. “God I don’t want to be arrested.” A voice inside me said “It’s going to happen, and it’s going to be for your own good.”

This was after some other things had happened to me, which had me convinced God was real 100%.

Anyways with that it mind I spent the next year trying not to get arrested because I was shook. I was working as the national quality manager for a big company and flying around the country doing audits. My direct boss was the COO (chief operating officer) of the company and the two of us got into a lot of mischief together. It wasn’t uncommon for just us two to run up a $600-800 bar tab on the company card, and when we were in Cali (where he lived) we would have parties after the local clubs closed with lots of blow and booze.

I had gotten my stomach pumped from drinking in Texas and by all accounts I was an alcoholic.


My grandma died and I went home for a week for the funeral. I ended up at a bar drinking pretty heavily. When I got to the bar my heat was working fine but by the time I left it suddenly didn’t work anymore. It was January in the Midwest and my windshield was completely frozen. I didn’t have an ice scraper so I did my best to carve a little hole in the frost so I could see.

It kept fogging over causing me to lean forward to wipe it and I eventually got pulled over by a cop right outside my apartment complex. It was around midnight. Long story short I refused to breathalyzer and I ended up in the backseat of the very same cop car, with the very same cops and the very same sign in the lawn as the dream. (It was the sign outside of my apartment).

I got 18 month’s probation with random alcohol testing. It ended up causing me to be fired from that job.

I stopped drinking and never touched blow again.

“It’s going to happen and it’s going to be for your own good.”

Sure was.

So based on that I know God knows every detail of our lives before they happen. I also know he plans events for specific reasons.

The only thing I can come up with is I was too arrogant and he wanted to humble me.

Mission accomplished. :/
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Thank you for telling this story
 
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