Recovery The 2023 Recovery Thread

[somnilicious]

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Careful, I did that to get off subs and wound up in complete physical dependency on alcohol. This has been the hardest to kick, it's so in your face. It's not like they're airing commercials for cocaine ....

The only reason it's difficult for me is because my dad drinks. I don't think I could ever become a true hard alcoholic simply because of my stomach. I can't stand alcohol. I start gagging and dry heaving just from seeing or putting my hand on the bottle. Actually probably a ridiculous sight to see me turning my head away in revulsion only to start gagging from the mere touch of the bottle. I don't know how many times I've thrown up from the taste alone. Beer I can drink but that's pretty self limiting because I become full so fast. My routine used to be 3-4 pints of beer a night. My goal is to be free of anything that is an impediment to my life though so I want it gone.

 

[Thatchick]

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The only reason it's difficult for me is because my dad drinks. I don't think I could ever become a true hard alcoholic simply because of my stomach. I can't stand alcohol. I start gagging and dry heaving just from seeing or putting my hand on the bottle. Actually probably a ridiculous sight to see me turning my head away in revulsion only to start gagging from the mere touch of the bottle. I don't know how many times I've thrown up from the taste alone. Beer I can drink but that's pretty self limiting because I become full so fast. My routine used to be 3-4 pints of beer a night. My goal is to be free of anything that is an impediment to my life though so I want it gone.

It's a very achievable goal. Many, many people have done it. Best of luck friend. You get all my good vibes.

 

[somnilicious]

It's a very achievable goal. Many, many people have done it. Best of luck friend. You get all my good vibes.

I've had separate stints of 13mths and 9mths totally clean at sober living before but then I kept relapsing no matter where I was and I eventually began to feel that the houses and program were an impediment to my recovery. I was just so unhappy living that life and can't stand being around large groups of people especially other newly sober addicts. Brings out the worst in people. The recovery environment in Daytona is a bit toxic in my opinion.

 

[Thatchick]

I've had separate stints of 13mths and 9mths totally clean at sober living before but then I kept relapsing no matter where I was and I eventually began to feel that the houses and program were an impediment to my recovery. I was just so unhappy living that life and can't stand being around large groups of people especially other newly sober addicts. Brings out the worst in people. The recovery environment in Daytona is a bit toxic in my opinion.

That's too bad. It seems like maybe you still need that accountability?
I've moved houses and don't particularly care for this one, but the woman in recovery here are wonderful. Noobs usually have at least a few months clean so that helps. I'm in Michigan and the recovery community here is strong.
I'm struggling with use too, just not my DOC. I'm only a random test away from homelessness, a Lil too close for comfort imo.

 

[somnilicious]

That's too bad. It seems like maybe you still need that accountability?
I've moved houses and don't particularly care for this one, but the woman in recovery here are wonderful. Noobs usually have at least a few months clean so that helps. I'm in Michigan and the recovery community here is strong.
I'm struggling with use too, just not my DOC. I'm only a random test away from homelessness, a Lil too close for comfort imo.

Nah... I spent over 3yrs in sober houses. In my opinion they're just money making scams that take advantage of desperate people. I did the meeting every night thing almost the entire time and had so many bad experiences I vowed to never go back again.

In the beginning I totally bought in but then the more I stayed around the more bullshit I experienced. The meetings were little more than a hookup service where people bragged about what good deads they'd done or how spiritual they are when in reality the only real difference was they were soberish and had a good talk game in the meetings. They still continued to do the same horrible shit on the outside. I got to where I couldn't stand going and got super depressed. I actually tried to kill myself twice in recovery. Then I started relapsing over and over bouncing from house to house for over a yr. I finally got a bit more clean time when I went to transitional living that didn't require meetings but eventually relapsed.

I've honestly been having just as much success in the years since I've been home and I'm a million times happier and optimistic about life. I know I'm going to be successful.

Don't let me poison your experience though. Everybody's situation is different. One thing I've learned is that there is no one size fits all in recovery. You gotta find out what works for you and hold on tight.

I wish you the best and hope you get the housing situation under control. I've definitely been there before.

 

[Dreamflyer]

Man, last night night was a rough one. I drank too much beer and didn't eat anything. I've realized that I think a lot of my self-medication has to do with my insecurity, awkwardness, self-consciousness, etc.

I get embarrassed over the dumbest things sometimes. Like, I'll say "I love you" to a good friend and then lie awake all night thinking that I was overly sentimental or whatever.

Everybody keeps on reassuring me that I'm a good person and never say or do anything wrong, but I always feel as though I do.

If any of you are dealing with these same kind of feelings, please know that I understand what you're going through.

 

[somnilicious]

Man, last night night was a rough one. I drank too much beer and didn't eat anything. I've realized that I think a lot of my self-medication has to do with my insecurity, awkwardness, self-consciousness, etc.

I get embarrassed over the dumbest things sometimes. Like, I'll say "I love you" to a good friend and then lie awake all night thinking that I was overly sentimental or whatever.

Everybody keeps on reassuring me that I'm a good person and never say or do anything wrong, but I always feel as though I do.

If any of you are dealing with these same kind of feelings, please know that I understand what you're going through.

I just did the same thing. I hearted your post and then I was like nah that's too much of an over the top response. I should put a like. Then I said wait a minute. I just did exactly what Dreamflyer was talking about so I stopped over thinking it or second guessing myself and gave you the damn heart....lol

 

[Dreamflyer]

I just did the same thing. I hearted your post and then I was like nah that's to much of an over the top response. I should put a like. Then I said wait a minute. I just did exactly what Dreamflyer was talking about so I stopped over thinking it or second guessing myself and gave you the damn heart....lol

Yeah, I'm learning to get comfortable showing my emotions, because I've been holding them in for 52 years and it hasn't served me well. I grew up believing that what it meant to be a man was to be a pillar of stone, or beating my chest like King Kong or something. What I'm starting to realize is that most people actually appreciate a guy whose not afraid to show his feelings. It's something that I need to work on.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

That's too bad. It seems like maybe you still need that accountability?
I've moved houses and don't particularly care for this one, but the woman in recovery here are wonderful. Noobs usually have at least a few months clean so that helps. I'm in Michigan and the recovery community here is strong.
I'm struggling with use too, just not my DOC. I'm only a random test away from homelessness, a Lil too close for comfort imo.

From one Michigander to another.................stay strong girlfriend. You got this !!

 

[Thatchick]

From one Michigander to another.................stay strong girlfriend. You got this !!

Care to say where? I'm from the mid Michigan area, just moved west to the 2nd largest city. There that was pretty vague....if ya know, ya know. Lol

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Care to say where? I'm from the mid Michigan area, just moved west to the 2nd largest city. There that was pretty vague....if ya know, ya know. Lol

Holy shit woman. I am also in Mid Mich. As you know we are shaped like a mitten and I'm in the dead center of it.

I'm about 20 miles east of Evart..........25 miles south of Clare.........140 miles west of Detroit.........and 40 miles north of Mt. Pleasant !!

 

[somnilicious]

Yeah, I'm learning to get comfortable showing my emotions, because I've been holding them in for 52 years and it hasn't served me well. I grew up believing that what it meant to be a man was to be a pillar of stone, or beating my chest like King Kong or something. What I'm starting to realize is that most people actually appreciate a guy whose not afraid to show his feelings. It's something that I need to work on.

Yeah.... I have the exact same issue. I keep things inside to people in real life. At first it was only men. I hated when men showed overt displays of affection other than being excited to see me and a hand slap. I think it stems from being repeatedly molested when I was younger. I kinda hated men for a while and I would get in fights all the time to push people away. Now I got the same problem with women because I allowed myself to be vulnerable and I was badly abused, used, taken advantage of and she used my openness against me to publicly embarrass me so now I keep my emotions inside.

 

[Thatchick]

Holy shit woman. I am also in Mid Mich. As you know we are shaped like a mitten and I'm in the dead center of it.

I'm about 20 miles east of Evart..........25 miles south of Clare.........140 miles west of Detroit.........and 40 miles north of Mt. Pleasant !!

St Louis? Or Alma I bet
Saginaw sucks balls

 

[Nurse Ratched]

St Louis? Or Alma I bet
Saginaw sucks balls

Yes..........Saginaw and Flint suck huge balls. 2 places in MI that I don't care to visit........along with Detroit. All those decrepit automotive plants are ugly and so are most of the " hoods ". Just doesn't seem like a very clean or welcoming place. Bay City isn't too bad. At least the parts I have been in anyway.

I'm actually about 40 miles N of Alma............I like it here.

 

[Thatchick]

Yes..........Saginaw and Flint suck huge balls. 2 places in MI that I don't care to visit........along with Detroit. All those decrepit automotive plants are ugly and so are most of the " hoods ". Just doesn't seem like a very clean or welcoming place. Bay City isn't too bad. At least the parts I have been in anyway.

I'm actually about 40 miles N of Alma............I like it here.

Great, quiet area. I went from country living to GR.
What a change. Lol. I absolutely love it here

 

[SunriseChampion]

I'm having a hard time controlling my binge drinking. I'm highly functional. Run a business, volunteer at a library on the side, am a member of a football club where we play twice a week, and am currently taking care of my parents' farm whilst they're away and my drinking gets in the way of none of it. The hangovers aren't even that bad most of the time. It's like there are no immediate consequences to help me tame the habit. It's not even costing me that much as a share of my income. I'm in great health. Still able to be very physically active. I kind of just feel like a regular man in the 30s or something. Fit, active, drinks and smokes too much.

I do manage to keep it to weekends at least as I mostly have no desire to drink during the work week.....which is now only four days long which hasn't helped in the boozing department, if I'm honest.

Almost all my closest mates are massive binge drinkers as well.

Should I just roll with it?

I think I'm trying to walk a fine line and convince myself to keep going until there ARE consequences because I know I can just shut it off completely if needed (as I do for multiple months every winter).

 

[Ds]

Picked up 5 months clean and sober the other day on the 21st. Been working pretty fucking hard on my recovery game. Have a few sponsees now and helping them through the steps, same way I was brought through them.
Actively chairing meetings and doing the topics. Fellowshipping and going out to eat and doing fun shit after the meeting is part of it too.
I didn't get sober to become miserable. I did so to live happy, joyous and free from drug and alcohol addiction.
I embraced the program because I had nothing else. I tried everything, and the only thing that worked was drug detox and diving head first into the 12 step program.
Yeah I was weary on the whole God concept, then I realized that my God is a molecule. Like the DMT molecule. Something that has helped me grow and see and touch life.
& It all clicked.
It just works. Didn't need anything fancy. Just straight up ass whipping and remaining teachable.

 

[somnilicious]

Picked up 5 months clean and sober the other day on the 21st. Been working pretty fucking hard on my recovery game. Have a few sponsees now and helping them through the steps, same way I was brought through them.
Actively chairing meetings and doing the topics. Fellowshipping and going out to eat and doing fun shit after the meeting is part of it too.
I didn't get sober to become miserable. I did so to live happy, joyous and free from drug and alcohol addiction.
I embraced the program because I had nothing else. I tried everything, and the only thing that worked was drug detox and diving head first into the 12 step program.
Yeah I was weary on the whole God concept, then I realized that my God is a molecule. Like the DMT molecule. Something that has helped me grow and see and touch life.
& It all clicked.
It just works. Didn't need anything fancy. Just straight up ass whipping and remaining teachable.

You said your in Florida before? What part?

 

[Ds]

You said your in Florida before? What part?

That never worked out due to my drinking. I'm back in Alabama. How about you?

 

[somnilicious]

That never worked out due to my drinking. I'm back in Alabama. How about you?

I'm in Orlando. Trying to stop drinking myself. Never really drank much till this last methadone bit but now when I walked off I was using it as a crutch. I'm 2mths post methadone and down to a few drinks a day but I keep fucking up once every 1-2weeks and over doing it.

Glad your doing well brother.