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Heroin makes me happy

Delmonte421 said:
its so true lol thats literally how it goes. Then eventually that dealer robs you or gets arrested and you gotta find a new one and then you may get robbed a couple times in the mean while trying to find a new dealer. You can go to the hood and ask around but for someone who is black like me that is ill advised
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I was lucky through most my addiction my best mate we like brothers really a big dealer around here so i get it at cost and before he stomped on it . But he was locked for 2 of the years i on it and it was a nightmare . The fucking waiting getting shit gear fear of getting robbed meeting in some weird fucking places because he on a paranoia trip . I once had to walk through a muddy bank he was waiting in bushes had new suede timberlands on they got fucked slipped so mud all over me you got to do it your on a clock either that or wds
 
axe battler said:
Just one. He's only 5, so not past the point of no return YET, but was extremely fucking close.
Was a month before our wedding too, she wasn't quite my wife, but that seems to sting even more in a way .
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Dont be me my brother i told my kids i love them and they love me to bits but i got on maintenance because we moved back to states and my eldest was so worried that i od because there you don't get heroin it fent . The guilt knowing when my daughter should be thinking about education boys and all the other shit 16 year old girls should be thinking of she worried her dad might die . I never get those years back when they were little she so proud of me because I'm back in IK for couple of months the business here and i will be back and forth and I'm stable still get on the coke her or meth in states but not to the crazy levels i used to be .

You have got back on track at the right time so you can fill the years i missed with my kids and raise your boy to be a good man
 
yubacity said:
Dont be me my brother i told my kids i love them and they love me to bits but i got on maintenance because we moved back to states and my eldest was so worried that i od because there you don't get heroin it fent . The guilt knowing when my daughter should be thinking about education boys and all the other shit 16 year old girls should be thinking of she worried her dad might die . I never get those years back when they were little she so proud of me because I'm back in IK for couple of months the business here and i will be back and forth and I'm stable still get on the coke her or meth in states but not to the crazy levels i used to be .

You have got back on track at the right time so you can fill the years i missed with my kids and raise your boy to be a good man
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Yeah, cheers man. Thankfully we have a great rapport and I'd never hit him or anything, even when wasted. I'm gonna do it, no fear.
 
Kids are more resilient than you imagine. If they know that they are loved, then they will forgive you for just about anything.

Recently, in a fit of self pity, I apologised to my son for being a shit dad. He said "you're the best dad I could ever hope for".




Then he said "can you lend me a tenner?" :ROFLMAO:


OK, the last bit was a joke, but the rest was totally true...
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Kids are more resilient than you imagine. If they know that they are loved, then they will forgive you for just about anything.

Recently, in a fit of self pity, I apologised to my son for being a shit dad. He said "you're the best dad I could ever hope for".




Then he said "can you lend me a tenner?" :ROFLMAO:


OK, the last bit was a joke, but the rest was totally true...
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Sorry fucking true my brother i was either at work or when off out getting coked up and when home use brown for comedown away for days sometimes but i always showed my kids love and told them how much i loved them. But that love is now paying me back in the love they have for me .

We all had those chats sorry kids i was not like other dads they reply same as your boy your the best dad we don't want other dads
 
yubacity said:
I functioned as a addict but i did once take my moms tramadol while she visiting me and my wife from states and helped her look for them for a hour knowing they in my car and i do heroin but thought might come in handy and the old dear called her doctor and he sent email with her script to her GP here she used when here and my wife did the calls and i watched
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I took my moms pills a lot in the past too, no doubt about that.
But going through people's medicine cabinets or stealing from friends or random strangers was never my cup of tea.
I dealt with withdrawal (usually by getting fucked on DXM) & waited until I could score or fill my moms pain pills again.


One time I was hanging out at my heroin dealers place & I found a 50 bag of raw uncut heroin on the floor.
Now most people would have just tucked it away in their pocket & never said anything. But not me. I went straight to my dude & said "hey I think you dropped this".

And my honesty paid off cause he then said I could have it for free since I had enough respect not to take it. Which didn't exactly make my friend happy who was there & had just had to pay for her own. lol But that's just who & how I am.

I think it brought me & my dealer closer since he knew I wasn't a thief like everyone else. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if he had put the bag on the floor on purpose to see if anyone would take it or if they had the decency to say something.

IMO, most people who steal, lie & fuck others over when they have an addiction/dependence are usually shitty people before drugs anyway.
IT IS possible to be an addict/drug user without being a garbage human being. It's rather simple really. But a lot of people use their drug use as an excuse to be the garbage human beings they already are.

Respecting people can get you much further in the game of drugs anyways. Since people were more likely to come over to my place & share their drugs all the time (even when I had no money or anything) because they knew they could trust me with their shit.

Was a great night when I went home & chopped up that free bag of rock tho. lol
 
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Imsorry nothing to do with this thread maybe mod can move it i cant remember how to make thread

I brought a eighth of coke and thought i wash some up did one for few blasts so,e was still drying in spoon water still in it. i thought do another wash in the wet spoon whatever in it come back as in was dropping coke in it from baggie half a massive rock nearly half of it dropped in the water got most of it out but it gooey how the fuck do i dry it i don't want to wash that much up i just wanted few blasts after a line. Please can a mod move this to its own thread
 
DeathIndustrial88 said:
I took my moms pills a lot in the past too, no doubt about that.
But going through people's medicine cabinets or stealing from friends or random strangers was never my cup of tea.
I dealt with withdrawal (usually by getting fucked on DXM) & waited until I could score or fill my moms pain pills again.


One time I was hanging out at my heroin dealers place & I found a 50 bag of raw uncut heroin on the floor.
Now most people would have just tucked it away in their pocket & never said anything. But not me. I went straight to my dude & said "hey I think you dropped this".

And my honesty paid off cause he then said I could have it for free since I had enough respect not to take it. Which didn't exactly make my friend happy who was there & had just had to pay for her own. lol But that's just who & how I am.

I think it brought me & my dealer closer since he knew I wasn't a thief like everyone else. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if he had put the bag on the floor on purpose to see if anyone would take it or if they had the decency to say something.

IMO, most people who steal, lie & fuck others over when they have an addiction/dependence are usually shitty people before drugs anyway.
IT IS possible to be an addict/drug user without being a garbage human being. It's rather simple really. But a lot of people use their drug use as an excuse to be the garbage human beings they already are.

Was a great night when I went home & chopped up that free bag of rock tho. lol
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I know what you mean thats the worse i done really apart when 16 i would deal crank to the illegal indian workers who worked in the peach orchards in yuba city they fucked about with the money once . They would keep a lot of money under mattresses in their trailer so when they at work checked their window and stole the wallets .

I was lucky the business and my lorry driving left me plenty to not have to rob or borrow to get heroin . But ill be honest i would have robbed my grandma to keep wds away i, just being honest
 
yubacity said:
Imsorry nothing to do with this thread maybe mod can move it i cant remember how to make thread

I brought a eighth of coke and thought i wash some up did one for few blasts so,e was still drying in spoon water still in it. i thought do another wash in the wet spoon whatever in it come back as in was dropping coke in it from baggie half a massive rock nearly half of it dropped in the water got most of it out but it gooey how the fuck do i dry it i don't want to wash that much up i just wanted few blasts after a line. Please can a mod move this to its own thread
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Hey man, if you start a new thread in OD, you can probably get an answer there. I think you may be fucked if you've already put bicarb in it though, and have to wash it up. Or, you could add citric and evap all the water, but not 100% sure that'd work and if it did it may be unpleasant to snort.
Or if it's a chunk of coke that's just a bit wet on the outside you could carefully dry it in an oven or something.
 
Hexenstahl said:
The german ethnopharmacologist Dr. Christian Rätsch (RIP) has speculated that opioid addiction is the brains reaction to a natural deficit of endorphins in the body of the addict. The compulsive desire to take opioids is therefore an attempt to increase endorphin release in the body. If that hypothesis is correct, then addiction is indeed not a brain disease as it is popularily believed today, but a natural impulse of the body to get rid of the lack of a certain neurochemical. Since I have absolutely no expertise on this subject I cannot judge if it is valid, but it makes sense to me.
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That's really interesting, I don't know if I agree with it completely, but if true, it would also explain why some people are much more susceptible to addiction than others, especially opiates.

When I was in prison I got a nutrient deficiency from the shitty food, and my body / brain craved vegetables just as bad as crack. There were few physical symptoms, but vegetables were mentally all I could think about. Somebody who has enough of that vitamin in their system might enjoy vegetables, but won't feel the need to ravenously eat them. I got multivitamins and it went away within a day or two after a few months of symptoms.
 
axe battler said:
He was probably rattling. It used to king of shock me how much of an obstinate cunt I could be when cornered, especially in withdrawal . Opiates eat some people's soul.
Or sometimes opiates can make you irritable as fuck, weird I know, but yeah people get "heroin rage". I'd get it all the time on codeine. Also, heroin can massively disinhibiting. He could have just been mean I suppose.
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Oh yes. The infamous 'gear mood'.

I also get it with alcohol. Perhaps it's just a property inherent with CNS depressants?
 
axe battler said:
Hey man, if you start a new thread in OD, you can probably get an answer there. I think you may be fucked if you've already put bicarb in it though, and have to wash it up. Or, you could add citric and evap all the water, but not 100% sure that'd work and if it did it may be unpleasant to snort.
Or if it's a chunk of coke that's just a bit wet on the outside you could carefully dry it in an oven or something.
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Thanks my brotherI was lucky i normally put the coke in then smash it and then add about third of the amount of bi carb half the big rock done as i panicked try to grab it i roll most dry in water i have fished the moist bits out . Ive just left them on spoon by radiator to dry the other rbit i washed up and then as i was getting it dryed on tissue i put it on the mirror and put rock into a right guard cap after I finished knocked the cap onto the carpet. The other day i got paranoia on coke first time i get it on meth but on coke never and i flushed nearly a gram in the toilet
 
yubacity said:
Thanks my brotherI was lucky i normally put the coke in then smash it and then add about third of the amount of bi carb half the big rock done as i panicked try to grab it i roll most dry in water i have fished the moist bits out . Ive just left them on spoon by radiator to dry the other rbit i washed up and then as i was getting it dryed on tissue i put it on the mirror and put rock into a right guard cap after I finished knocked the cap onto the carpet. The other day i got paranoia on coke first time i get it on meth but on coke never and i flushed nearly a gram in the toilet
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Sweet, hope it dries up nicely. Aye I used to get quite para on coke occasionally, especially if I was smoking weed too. Some people love that combo but it would make me feel like I was being followed and/or having a heart attack!
 
axe battler said:
Sweet, hope it dries up nicely. Aye I used to get quite para on coke occasionally, especially if I was smoking weed too. Some people love that combo but it would make me feel like I was being followed and/or having a heart attack!
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I hate weed with meth or coke it makes me not able to get a full breath and then i panic the worse it gets
 
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