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Social Tell a Joke

1 st person: Cough, Cough ...

2nd person: Dr Dr give him something for his cough.

Dr: Alright, alright, here's a quarter.

1st person: That's not much.

Dr: It's not much of a cough !

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From Firesign Theater "How can you be in two places at once when you're really no where at all" 1968
 
The guy
at the furniture
store told me the sofa
would seat 5 people
without any problems.

Then it occurred to me,
does anyone know 5
people without
any problems.
 
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I got a few more Kalauer

Scientists found out
but then they went back inside

A foot & an eye lie on the ground.
The eye says: I'm going now
The foot laughs and says: That I wanna see

Can I fly to Turkey with my German ID?
No, you need a plane for that

"I was in Africa last week." "Cool. What animals did you see?" "Zebras. Do you know what they look like?" " no." "Do you know horses?" "Yes." "They look alike just with stripes." "Nice. What else?" "Giraffes. Do you know what they look like?" "No." "Do you know horses?" "Yes" "Well. They look pretty much alike just with a longer neck and longer legs" "Cool. What else?" "Crocodiles. Do you know what they look like?" "No" " do you know horses?" "Yes" " they actually don't look alike"

"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"The love of your life"
"Don't lie - beer can't speak"

The judge to the accused: "You're accused of driving your neighbour out into the forest, brutally torturing him, then executing and burying him there. Didn't you go to far?
"Yes, yes, I know, I should have done it earlier in the meadow"

An old woman drinks Whiskey for the first time in her life. She stops and thinks to herself
"That's strange, it tastes exactly like the medicine my late husband had to take for 20 years"

My dog loves to chase people on a bike
until I took the bike away from him



I think we prefer to keep and say dry jokes, because keeping wet jokes would just be a terrible mess
 
Yo, yo momma fat, or something. I look up to her honestly, for a brick layer GD does she get laid by every mother on the job site. That's including the home owner and the family pooch, Biscuit.
Seriously, holy shit yo momma, the only time I've seen 6 cocks is when i was cocking my 12", I seriously, did not know yo momma took taking 6 cock's so serious.
I saw yo momma in Auto Trader/7/22 edition, and do you know how much it cost me, to go hire a mechanic to ride with me, to look at the suspension, of the car that yo momma was wanting to sell me, I mean damnit Bobby.
She fat as fuck, btw.
 
December Flower said:
An old woman drinks Whiskey for the first time in her life. She stops and thinks to herself
"That's strange, it tastes exactly like the medicine my late husband had to take for 20 years"

My dog loves to chase people on a bike
until I took the bike away from him

I think we prefer to keep and say dry jokes, because keeping wet jokes would just be a terrible mess
Click to expand...
Wet jokes are like Wet Willies they just wind up annoying people
FixXxer said:
they've got a knot in their face..

they're hot...but not in their face.
Click to expand...
You could always try talking to the hand
 
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