Social Tell a Joke

[hylite]

Whenever I get sick,
I get my
immune system
drunk so it will
fight anything .

 

[jasperkent]

I'm trying to get insurance for camping,
but I'm far from impressed with
the insurance companies.
Apparently if someone steals my tent
during the night I'm not covered.

We really need a groan emoji.

 

[jasperkent]

Whenever I get sick,
I get my
immune system
drunk so it will
fight anything .

One tequila
Two tequila
Three tequila
Four

Five tequila
Six tequila
Seven tequila
Floor

 

[jasperkent]

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbitt?




You gonna eat that?

 

[jasperkent]

Conservatives live in the past.
Progressives live in the future.
I guess only alcoholics & drug addicts live
Just For Today

 

[hylite]

Why were the three wise men,
covered in ashes, when they
arrived at the manger?
Because they came from a
Far.

 

[jasperkent]

Why were the three wise men,
covered in ashes, when they
arrived at the manger?
Because they came from a
Far.

I tell that joke every Xmas to anyone who will listen. With an authentic hick accent. Have done so for years.

I no longer have any friends.

 

[hylite]

I tell that joke every Xmas to anyone who will listen. With an authentic hick accent. Have done so for years.

I no longer have any friends.

roaring

 

[jasperkent]

The Sunday School teacher wanted to demonstrate to the children the evils of alcohol. On the desk in front of the class was a glass of water and a glass of whiskey. Teacher dropped an earthworm in each glass. In the water, the worm swam around. In the whiskey, the worm died instantly.

Teacher: "What does this teach us?"
Kid: "If ya drink enough whiskey, ya won't get worms!"

 

[December Flower]

Trump on his first state visit to Berlin. Quickly he asks Frau Merkel the secret to her success,
and she answers "You just gotta surround yourself with smart people"

"So how do you know who's smart?", he asks

"Easy", she supplies, and calls Wolfgang Schäuble and puts him on speaker.
"Guten Tag, Herr Schäuble. I have a question: He's your father's son", she says once Schäuble answers "but he is not your brother"

"Well, that's me", Schäuble answers quickly.

"See it's easy", Merkel says to Trump.

Back in the USA, Trump calls Mike Pence and asks him the same question
"He's your father's son, but he is not your brother"
Pence is stunned, "I don't know, sir, but I will find out for you!"

Pence calls a few politicians, until he finally gets to Obama
"Easy, that's me", Obama answers.
So Pence calls Trump again and tells him "It's Obama, sir!"

Trump as expected immediately gets angry and screams at him: "You fucking brainless moron! It's Wolfgang Schäuble!"

 

[darvocet21]

I tell that joke every Xmas to anyone who will listen. With an authentic hick accent. Have done so for years.

I no longer have any friends.

Will u be my neighbor?

 

[hylite]

Will u be my neighbor?

 

[darvocet21]

My ancestors were not as well off

 

[jasperkent]

The definition of True Love:

I'd walk a mile on my knees through broken glass
to lick the shit off the dick that had been in her ass

 

[darvocet21]

So inappropriate

 

[darvocet21]

And to think I used to respect you

 

[ions]

She’ll offer you salt water in the desert.

 

[darvocet21]

Don't @hylite you only encourage him

 

[jasperkent]

And to think I used to respect you

Good Lord, why on earth would you respect me???

 

[darvocet21]

Like they're so desensitized to what's truly sick and disgusting that they have no standards besides no standards