I'm being sexually harassed.

[December Flower]

I thought Germans were all hypersexual.

lol, do you know any Germans?

we're the most fucking boring people on the planet

this rly reminded me of


sorry, man

 

[December Flower]

Can't you just call her bluff alla "OK let's do this"?
I'm sure she's just teasing, cause she's interested in the idea but once confronted with the possibility to actually betray her husband would chicken out.

I've seen enough German porn to know that can't be true... unless your porn is compensating for boring German sex?

edit: I see. The porn comparison.

So all Americans fuck their step-siblings and/or step-parents?

 

[bird.is.the.word]

do you know any Germans?

No. German porn is wild though. That was the basis for my assumption. It's the only country that I would single out and say it has particularly crazy pornography.

I'm not American. I'm Australian.

So all Americans fuck their step-siblings and/or step-parents?

Yes, they do.

Can't you just call her bluff alla "OK let's do this"?
I'm sure she's just teasing, cause she's interested in the idea but once confronted with the possibility to actually betray her husband would chicken out.

She knows I'd chicken out first and she would just keep going with it until I inevitably chickened out. I don't want to play her game. It's not my style.

 

[Conky]

 

[Eligiu]

Thanks for the responses. I'm not going to do anything about it.

The problem with grey rocking or grey rolling or whatever it's called (I couldn't be bothered scrolling up) is: she often does it in front of people we are supposed to support emotionally... and they think it's funny. So, if I don't engage with it, I end up looking like an asshole and a buzzkill and my job is harder as a result.

I've thought about it and I don't think there's anything I can do to make the situation better. Every possible action makes the situation worse. So, I have two choices. I need to either stay and put up with it or leave. I'm seriously considering the latter. It might be time for a career change.

Why don't you just go independent instead of (I assume) through an agency? That's what I do, I don't have co-workers I just do 1-1 support at my clients houses. There's companies that are online only that you can work through, you may know them but yeah you could try them?

 

[bird.is.the.word]

@Eligiu

Yeah, that's exactly what I want to do. My wife just joined one. They pay better than agency and the work is easier.

EDIT: It's hard to leave, though. I've stayed in so many toxic environments and endured so much abuse over the past 20 years because I grow attached to the people I care for and I know if I leave they will probably get someone who doesn't care. Most of the time I have more issues with family members and other staff than the disabled people themselves.

 

[Eligiu]

@Eligiu

Yeah, that's exactly what I want to do. My wife just joined one. They pay better than agency and the work is easier.

EDIT: It's hard to leave, though. I've stayed in so many toxic environments and endured so much abuse over the past 20 years because I grow attached to the people I care for and I know if I leave they will probably get someone who doesn't care. Most of the time I have more issues with family members and other staff than the disabled people themselves.

I chose independent because I don't have any actual qualifications but I also stay strictly in the area of being a 'mentor' to younger autistic guys and really as a paid friend to my non verbal client. I basically do the same things with them that I'd do by myself at home like videogames, playing board games or card games, going for a walk or painting/other crafts. I've always refused to take on any clients that needed me to implement therapy programmes or were outside of my scope of practice (I don't work with anyone who isn't also autistic).

Personally I have 3 independent workers, I originally had all independent and was happier to do that as agency didn't appeal to me, but after the incident with the sexual harassment due to my gender identity I grew untrusting of being able to know independent workers would be sensitive of that issue as he did have an 'lgbt friendly' badge on his profile. I asked a specialised agency in my city which provides support for LGBT participants if they could take me on even with closed books and they did due to the situation. I do like that if my workers from the agency get covid then they have an obligation to fill the shift, and they are paid the social worker rate there so I know they're not being underpaid, they're actually on the same rate as me where I am. But I know loads of agencies pay fuck all and they take the bulk of the funding themselves.

Would you go fully independent as in with your own ABN or through one of the online independent agencies that have popped up? I use the online one because I don't have the time or capacity to do my super, tax, insurance, overheads etc, which means I do get paid less but tbh I get $45 on Saturday and $60 on Sunday so I just do my main shifts then and just the weekends makes up probably 60-70% of my pay for the fortnight.

 

[bird.is.the.word]

Yeah, fully independent I think. Sitcoms make tax seem more complicated than it is. Since the ATO introduced their latest iteration of online tax forms, my annual taxes take me less than 15 minutes. It's a bit more complicated if you have a small business or something, but still not hard... I also tend to stack shifts on the weekend. It's hard to get decent Sunday shifts with nice clients because they go fast for this reason.

Online agencies shouldn't pay you award rates. That's crazy.

 

[December Flower]

No. German porn is wild though. That was the basis for my assumption. It's the only country that I would single out and say it has particularly crazy pornography.

I'm not American. I'm Australian.

Yeah no. We are very repressed, boring people, maybe why this shit is popular.
I honestly don't know any Germans that watch German porn tbh, because it's quite bad.

I think it's mostly just due to shock value that this kinda stuff made an international name.
I don't know anyone into extreme stuff, and pretty much all my friends are addicts and/or ravers, you'd expect at least some to be a bit crazy in that department. I do however know that my country is very much into shock value



so all Australian descended from convicts then?
you ride kangaroos?
and Australia is all outskirts, right?

there's stupid myths about every country that are untrue

 

[December Flower]

jesus is that pegida propaganda or something?

 

[Hexenstahl]

Thanks for the responses. I'm not going to do anything about it.

The problem with grey rocking or grey rolling or whatever it's called (I couldn't be bothered scrolling up) is: she often does it in front of people we are supposed to support emotionally... and they think it's funny. So, if I don't engage with it, I end up looking like an asshole and a buzzkill and my job is harder as a result.

I've thought about it and I don't think there's anything I can do to make the situation better. Every possible action makes the situation worse. So, I have two choices. I need to either stay and put up with it or leave. I'm seriously considering the latter. It might be time for a career change.

Change your employer.

 

[Hexenstahl]

Thank you. Now I have to live with eye cancer

 

[Mr. Krinkle]

Thanks for the responses. I'm not going to do anything about it.

The problem with grey rocking or grey rolling or whatever it's called (I couldn't be bothered scrolling up) is: she often does it in front of people we are supposed to support emotionally... and they think it's funny. So, if I don't engage with it, I end up looking like an asshole and a buzzkill and my job is harder as a result.

I've thought about it and I don't think there's anything I can do to make the situation better. Every possible action makes the situation worse. So, I have two choices. I need to either stay and put up with it or leave. I'm seriously considering the latter. It might be time for a career change.

it's more important that you and your co-workers get along overall, so if you can deal with a little "sexual harassment" by an old lady, i think you'll be just fine

 

[Mjäll]

jesus is that pegida propaganda or something?

It's funny when one can't tell between real propaganda and a sarcastic parody.

 

[Neuroborean]

Pretty sure if the gender was reversed, the situation would be wildly different.

yeah, you would be in jail or at least outcasted of society with some bad fines or criminal record, at least in my country. Here they can report you even if the woman who supposedly suffer the problem don't say a thing (and even denies there's a problem...).
I can tell you more, now there's a new Law: the Law of only yes means yes (it's widely called by that name!).
With that law they can put you in jail if the girl says she didn't want to fuck, cause she didn't said EXPLICITLY that she wanted, so to fuck "legally" she needs to do clear signs of it and having RECORDED that, because otherwise, she cand accuse you not having wanted to have sex, so you had legally raped her if you couldn't prove otherwise.

It's so fucking grotesque.

 

[moonyham]

I think you should invite her and her husband over for dinner with you and your wife. Just ya know, throw yourself right into that danger zone and see what happens.

 

[Eligiu]

Yeah, fully independent I think. Sitcoms make tax seem more complicated than it is. Since the ATO introduced their latest iteration of online tax forms, my annual taxes take me less than 15 minutes. It's a bit more complicated if you have a small business or something, but still not hard... I also tend to stack shifts on the weekend. It's hard to get decent Sunday shifts with nice clients because they go fast for this reason.

Online agencies shouldn't pay you award rates. That's crazy.

Why shouldn't they? On Hireup they get award rates and they charge what I think is the price guide to the clients. Mable is different as you actually set your own fees and rates which just need to be under the maximum price guide limit.

I mean, I do have an issue with unqualified, uncaring people flooding to support work because places like Hireup allow you to start having clients with nothing but your safeguarding checks, but on the same note I've had overqualified support workers who were less than garbage, including a woman who said my plan was overfunded and that my autism level diagnosis was wrong because I have a law degree (which I graduated from while I was level 1 since levels can fluctuate over your lifetime) and because I'm too smart despite ASD levels not measuring any aspect of a persons IQ. And she had qualifications out of her asshole. my best workers are unqualified, one is an international student from Brazil. My only qualm with online agencies but I've heard it's an issue with normal agencies too is the amount of people who do not speak English fluently. I don't actually have the energy to be having a full on meltdown because the store hasn't got the yoghurt I buy every week in stock the day I go shopping and freaking out over not having any breakfast until they do since I'm Incapable of trying different flavours, and not having my worker understand what is wrong the first time I say it. I can do ESL so long if they've done an intensive English course but bare fucking minimum if you are working in a job where communication between you and W vulnerable client makes up the bulk of your shift, you need to be able to fluently speak the language they speak. It isn't racist to think otherwise, it's a job requirement. I would not be able to relocate to Germany and begin work immediately as a support worker without brushing up on my German and rightfully no one would hire me.

But I had people who had never worked with a client before pick me, and I'm here going 'okay, how do you respond when you arrive on shift and I inform you that we need to attend the ED for however long it takes me to get seen as I've inflicted myself with a third degree burn days previously? Are you going to be compassionate and professional? Or make it embarrassing and uncomfortable. Or just refuse to do it?

You get on shift and I've engaged in IV drug use. The needles are capped but on the table out in the open. I'm clearly high. Do you stay and support me, or leave me when I need help because it's too confronting for you?

This is the issue with every day tom dicks and Harry's jumping on Hireup and Mabel to support literally anyone they can find who they deem an appropriate fit. Some people would say 'oh well I'm a fast learner' and I'm sorry, but I need already learnt.

I've been in psychosis from drug use with a support worker (I'm very non aggressive in psychosis, I just see shadow people, hear music, and see bugs. I told him, he acknowledged it. And I informed him it would require the full 4 hour shift to entice me to shower and eat food due to how distracted I'd get and that came to pass. But he is an excellent worker.

No one who isn't providing a high, unique, and irreplaceable standard of care to clients should be getting paid absurd rates. But my clients love me so much and what I offer them that they actually provide me with dinner every shift and cook an extra serving for me (this didn't happen intentionally may I add, I originally took my own food them they insisted I not bother) and some even have driven me to and from work when I was taking ubers before being prescribed dexamphetamine to drive legally because they were so grateful I didn't cance my shifts and I accepted losing income to ensure they were still supported.

They've told me I'm indispensable because finding male support workers is hard enough, but finding actually autistic ones who can form strong empathetic mentoring connections with them is harder still.

With one of my clients the 17 year old his parents allow me to talk about absolutely any topic with him (excluding inappropriate ones obviously) and I've been responsible for asking him about things he hides from his parents and deciding based on his response whether they need to know, and they trust me entirely to make that judgement call because they want him to have a person like him who understands him and who he can vent to about issues with his family and stuff he doesn't want to tell his parents and I will keep his confidence. The two times I have told him I had to tell his parents what he told me or he had to (to give him the choice) was when he had thoughts of self harm, and was seriously considering running away from home. And he would not cope being homeless like I did.

I am the only person my non verbal client actually makes an effort to communicate with because I've figured out a way of using gestures and pointing to get the message across. He has hit me the least times out of any other worker by huge margin.

I am exceptionally good at my job and I value it highly. Especially considering I am on the DSP and was fortunate enough to be granted the payments notwithstanding my 10 hour work weeks. My job is the only time I feel useful, like I'm contributing and not horribly impaired by my conditions. It is also the ONLY job that I am currently able to do, because the things I am appreciated for as a support worker (being autistic and having mental health lived experience) are the same things that would cause me relentless issues elsewhere. My clients let me take up to 2 weeks at a time off if I have a bipolar episode with no questions asked. It's flexible enough that I can sort it out around my own support and therapy. The hours are short enough I can cope with them, and I get paid so well for the hours I work that it actually supports my life needs.

I told all my clients if Centrelink told me I couldn't get the DSP while I worked 10 measly hours I would stop billing them, and apply again telling Centrelink that I got completely burnt out. I wouldn't let anything get in the way of my clients support, and the rule for the DSP is actually that you only need to be assessed as working 14 hours or under so I was well below the limit. This was just worst case scenario. I would have literally gone without getting paid for months if it meant I could get the disability payments I desperately needed and technically qualified for so that I could finally relax and just see my 3 current guys and not be pushed constantly by disability job coaches forcing me to add another 10 hours a fortnight to my workload when I already have 25 hours of my own support, 10 hours of work, and 4-6 hours of appointments per week which is exceeding full time work hours so I would be having to do more due to my status as a disabled person rather than commended on my efforts to retain work despite my circumstances.

I get that you've probably been underpaid for ages by the agency, but there are good people on online agencies who give their heart and soul and everything into supporting our clients and we do in fact deserve a rate which supports us because we are a casualised workforce and need the penalty rates. I am probably shifting to permanent part time to be eligible for sick and long service leave and my wages will obviously go down. That is the result of guaranteed hours.

You can't leave out the fact that we are reliant on clients not randomly cancelling shifts for whatever reasons. I never charge my clients for last minute cancellations even though I have the right to within 48 hours, I'll just offer to do it another with the ones who are flexible.

 

[bird.is.the.word]

Uh my point is they should pay you well above award rates. I'm not suggesting you're bad at your job. Chill.

 

[Eligiu]

Uh my point is they should pay you well above award rates. I'm not suggesting you're bad at your job. Chill.

To be fair the way you said it is entirely ambiguous and loads of people tell me I get pay way too much for my job, plus people at agencies do often get paid less. So with that information assuming you meant it the other way around isn't exactly a reach.

I don't think I need more money, it's the social worker rate, whatever that is. It more than pays my bills and I know most participants are underfunded and run out early so I don't want to charge them a ridiculous rate.

I get that employment directly cuts out the agency fees and it's better for both but I actually cannot do the logistical requirements to make that happen.

 

[bird.is.the.word]

People tell you you get paid too much when your receiving the industry minimum wage in the disability sector?!? WTF? Who are these people?

Your wage is low for a bricks and mortar agency, let alone an online agency. I understand what you mean about charity (I've done volunteer work for clients who don't have adequate funding) but now I have kids and a mortgage I need to prioritize my family.

It's not possible for people at agencies to receive less.